An interesting lesson in binge avoidance...
 

Hi, ladies! Just wanted to share with you all about something that just happened to me... Because it was really weird, and I guess I just feel like I have to tell someone about it, heh!

For some reason, all last night and this morning, I had some seeeerious munchies. I didn't binge or anything, but I just had the worst "mouth-hunger," you know? Even though I certainly wasn't actually hungry, I couldn't shake that feeling of wanting to EAT! I didn't binge, but I probably ate a little more than usual--for example, after taking home half of my chickpea burger from a yummy, healthy restaurant I went to for dinner - with plans finish it for lunch today - I ended up eating the other half (+ some raw carrots and cucumber) when I got home, because I was "still hungry." :p And then this morning, after having my usually-very-satisfying breakfast of a bowl of Total with lite vanilla soymilk and some blueberries, I had the WORST craving to have another bowl (or 2, heh)--it just tasted soooo good, and I felt so hungry! It felt so weird, because it had been a long time since I'd had that feeling of just wanting to eat and and eat without any real reason. But I honestly thought that I wanted the food just because it tasted good and I felt like indulging, NOT because there was anything stressful motivating my urge to binge. Right?

Uh, yeah, WRONG. After debating whether to have another bowl of cereal - knowing d*mn well that I shouldn't, but unable to stop thinking about how delicious it would be - I finally realized something... Basically, I was supposed to have a date today with this guy I met off of an online dating site (ugh, don't ask, lol), and I've been dreading it basically ever since we MADE the date yesterday afternoon. I didn't really like him much on our first date, but he seemed so earnest and so into me that I thought I'd give him a second chance... But I just kept thinking about how awkward it would be, how much I really wasn't looking forward to it, how I'd SO much rather go out with friends tonight, etc... And then I started feeling guilty that he'd probably want to pay for me, and it would be a waste of his money since I don't really think we're compatible, and finally it occurred to me that - hey! - I really just didn't WANT to go on the stupid date, so why should I?? And I started to think about breaking the date, and lo and behold, that panicky bingey feeling started to dissipate!

I didn't even realize it, but I guess it turns out that, as usual, my urge to burge WAS stress-induced, after all! :o I can't believe it could sneak up on me from a hidden source like that, you know?? I genuinely thought I was excited to go on the date, but I really wasn't, and it was freaking me out so much that it actually made me want to binge... Without me (initially) having even the slightest clue of why I was having those cravings! I felt infinitely better after sending him a very polite message in which I explained my thoughts that he's a really nice guy and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I didn't want to lead him on, so I didn't think we should go out today, and I hoped he'd forgive me, etc... To which he replied with two extremely rude/snotty messages, basically confirming my suspicions that he really wasn't my Prince Charming, anyways. :dz:

Anyways, yeah, I just thought it was SO crazy how there could be "secret" stress lurking deep within me and making me want to binge... I should have known better than to think that I really just wanted that cereal because it tasted good, heh. Maybe there really IS always some other reason for it! :chin: Man, I feel like I'm just constantly learning about myself these days--it's getting hard to keep track of all this new knowledge! Hehe. :D

Wonderful insight!!!! I will remember this when I want more than enough food!!! Thanks so much. :hug:

Selina

PS How did you lose so much in one year? Did you exercise alot and how many cals were you at. I know everyone is diff. I won't expect the same but I'm losing between 1 and 2 a week without much aerobic exercise, just stay real busy. I guess 2 a wk is 104 in a year?? That's pretty cool. :) Congrats on making Goal!!! That's so great!!!! :cp: :cb: :cp:

I can totally relate. I haven't binged in a really long time [I've lost count of the days by now]. But the last couple of days I have wanted food something fierce! Now I incorporate those cravings with my daily allowed calorie intake...it just gets so hard because I just want more and more and more. I thought it's because I just want to indulge in yummy food, but it's not. It's the sneaky habit trying to find other ways! I have been really stressed with my job and the people I work with. I just haven't found a healthy way to release the pent up annoyance or anger (besides almost crying a couple of times). Since the stress has been building, I have noticed these intense cravings persist. Luckily I have been able to avoid them because I've been making progress and don't want to ruin it.

But it's like...Right now - I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT ICE CREAM. I'm not going to walk to Rita's to get any so I know I won't have any but my mind is like :tantrum:!! Earlier today I wanted a cinnamon pretzel but the vendor was out. Instead my mind wandered onto making a cake and decorating it with lots of icing & goodies. But my fridge is broken and I knew I didn't have the ingridients. So what did I settle for? A boston creme donut and coffee coolatta from Dunkin' Donuts. :o I didn't eat breakfast this morning so I am still at 1500 calories for the day, but still! IT'S ANNOYING.

I am SO dealing with that right now. I've got this 4 month long distance relationship with a boy, and we've been back and forth e-mailing eachother since he was deployed (he's on a boat. In the navy.) So today I was just replying to e-mails and then I had my frat-boy-talk slip in about Sarah Palin, and I said "Dude. If I was drunk, I'd totally bang Sarah Palin" which in bucket speak means "I think Sarah Palin is a very attractive woman" but after I sent it I realized that my boyfriend hasn't known me long enough to know about my frat-boy-language period so I've been on the edge worrying that he might think I'm going to cheat on him, especially if I get drunk.

And I've been flipping out over it and super anxious ALL day. It's like "GAH! Why did I have to say that?!" so I've been eating a little extra here and there and avoiding exercise and just sitting around freaking out about it. I haven't told ANYONE about my worries, and it's just been building up all day.

But now that I've typed this, it's become clear to me that I should just add a P.S. E-mail for him when he wakes up and will reply explaining what I just said, and thus my impulse to eat will go away.

I thought I had this skill mastered by now, but I guess there's still room for improvement. :P

Thanks for the excellent post!!

thank you for the hint, Star2be! :hug:
I read somewhere that one of the most poweful causes of binge is actually the "will to control something"... which I interpret in this way: when I'm (mostly subconsciously) doing something I don't actually want (=I REALLY don't want!), it's like I'm losing control on my life, or let's say I'm not able to choose and take responsibility. THEN, maybe, to compensate this and to have control on something, I turn to food and binge (I don't know if this is a way to declare "I'm very powerful, at least with food, look how much I can intake!" or if it's just a stress-driven effect... but maybe this is not important).

Lately I've been thinking a lot about this, also because... well, I've been always suffering of a heavy constipation, and now even more, even if I'm on a vegan diet and eating a lot of fiber, vegetables, water ecc...
An expert in homeopathy told me it could be a way to control my life. Something I developed in the childhood, having a very "supervisor" mother. If you think, the "toilet-object" (:^:) is the first and only thing a child can control. Like "I'm not letting this go away from me, I choose!!!"

And I'm getting aware, sigh :(, that I do not take a lot of responsibility in my life... or let's say, I'm always afraid to hurt someome or to do wrong somehow. It's difficult for me to choose, to say "no" to something or someone. And maybe this is reflected in the food too, I have (had?) prblems saying NO.

Hope it helps... and hope to get helped!
:hug: :^:

Yay Star2Be! I'm super-affected by stress. Like my body can get physically ill when I stress. I feel like what I know about maintenance (not that I've ever been there but...) is you really need to master the art of being in tune with your feelings. So many of us overweight people got there because we ate our feelings. I think I've heard story after story of people saying they finally dealt with their feelings and the weight came off.

I'll bet this is just one step in your long, happy journey with food now.

It's been so helpful to read all of these posts. I think until I joined this forum I didn't realize, or didn't have a name for it, or didn't want to admit that my relationship with food is an addiction, I am a chronic overeater, and when I stuff myself in secret past the point of being uncomfortably full, it's a binge. I have always wondered why I obsess with food the way I do, why sometimes nothing will make me calm/satisfied/relaxed until I eat something. The earlier posts about negative feelings creeping up on you and subconsciously telling you to eat are true in my case I realize. If only it was easier to tell what the feelings are about.

I am still going strong on day three here, but last night after my twin girls (1 yr olds) went to sleep and my husband was working on the computer, I was "all alone" and kept finding ways to go to the kitchen. So was I just lonely? stressed about the long day? relieved that everything is done until tomorrow? that there is so much to do tomorrow? Even if I could figure it out, I worry that even if I did I won't be able to rationalize myself out of a binge. But I didn't so yay for me!

Hope everyone is doing well today. Make your move!

Okay, so I do buy into the binging when stressed...... but I binge a lot on the weekend with my new DH. He is overweight and we feed off each other (no pun intended). So, in reading this thread I have been thinking of why I binge on the weekends. I am a big control person and I would think that a lot of my binges come from that ordinarily, but why do I do it on the weekend? Any psych majors care to jump in--- is it just b/c I like food, lack of planning, or is there a deeper meaning?

I just learn so much from all you ladies! It is really great to be conscious of what you're doing and why you're doing it. And man, dates can be really stressful especially if you're not sure you even like the person. I had a phone conversation last night that i found really depressing and lo and behold found myself wandering into the kitchen... i just ate 2 squares of chocolate (i guess better than polishing the whole thing off as i would have in the past) and some veggies and was eyeing the ice cream but then i remembered all the posts i'd read about binging when you're stressed and i was like- nope quit it, go to bed, food will not make you feel less stressed/lonely, it will make you feel like a failure for going off plan! So i did. Lots of credit to you lot for reminding me about the real reason we sometimes eat...

oh heck yeah! That is so true! Bingeing is the will to control something. As I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. I turned to bingeing and purging to control something about my life. Star, I go through the exact same feeling process as you about some things. It really has to do with boundaries and how you are allowing this guy--because you feel sorry for him to make you cross your own boundaries and it is putting you in a spin. You don't want to date the guy but because of guilt you feel you should. no, no , no. Of course you want to control something. Just be honest. Tell the guy, I'm sorry, you are a great person, but I'm not that interested. Let him down, but gently.

Anytime--I let somebody cross my boundaries in some way, and I don't call it-or don't try to fix it or alert that person--I get the urge to binge. I usually know that that is the reason, because I am actually still upset about it if I think of it while I am eating. So kudos for you to realize this date thing was making you want to binge. For your own sake--speaking from experience here--just tell the guy "that's it. we won't work, I'm sorry". And walk away and be done with it. I have entertained someone I really knew I didn't want to date b4 in much the same way, and it ONLY gets worse. Trust me.