Argh!
 

So I've lost about 40 pounds, and then gained some back. Not sure how much, because I've been afraid to step on a scale. But somewhere along the process of losing weight my ironclad willpower went poof. I remember how easy it used to be- I decided I was going to lose weight because I didn't want to feel the sense of dread that goes with weight gain, and I just stopped eating too much and started exercising more. Simple as that. But now I can't seem to stop bingeing late at night. I'll be fine the whole day, and then when I get home at about 10:30 and start my homework I can't stay away from the food. Home just signals "eat way too much" for me. Even when I say to myself five minutes before I get home that it's going to happen and I can't give in to it I end up doing it anyway.

Has anyone here ever dealt with this sort of severe backsliding? If so, HOW? :?:

I'm not sure about you normal hours, but 1030 pm seems quite late to be starting homework. Are you eating for energy and to stay awake? (I did that alot on late shiftwork)
OR is it possible you are not eating enough during the day? The general way you have been restricting calories (not eating as much) is great, but maybe the flipside is happening and you are restricting too much now.

It seems to be the pattern no matter how much I eat during the day. I do tend to eat to stay awake, but the stupid thing is that I never can stay awake if I eat, so it's not that clever of me to keep doing it. Today I actually got on the scale- turns out I've only gained six pounds. Okay. It could be worse.

I really think it's a willpower thing. I just need to get back to where I was before, when I didn't depend so much on food for enjoyment. I'm less sure of how to do this, but I've reached a point where I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, which is actually helpful. I just wish I could lose weight without feeling disgusted with myself.

Wow this is exactly what i am going through right now. I lost 20 pounds steadily over a 6 month period, and ever since i started to feel upset because of school and other life events i started losing control and had been binging ever since (like you, i eat a lot at night to stay awake so i can study but it always ends up backfiring and i find that i fall asleep even quicker after i eat =() but i still keep on doing it anyway) <- as a result i've gained 6 pounds over the last 3 weeks

i am really hoping to step out of the cycle starting tomorrow. I hope we'll both have good news to share later.

Yeah, so ultimately I ended up relapsing. Something that I think might help me now, though, is something I stumbled upon the last time I was trying to lose weight: it's not just about losing weight, it's about breaking my dependence on food because it is no fun to be craving food half the time and feeling sick the other half. There are other things in life to enjoy, but I can't enjoy them if I spend all my time thinking about my next meal.