I don't know what has gone wrong today. I am embarssed but I need to talk about this with someone.

I am a compulsive over eater though not currently doing anything to work through my mental issues with food. I have only worked food part- for years actually with no lasting results. I do almost anything I can to avoid naming feelings that lead to binges. I am sad to say I also purge. This is big because I have never admitted this to anyone else. The one time someone heard me throwing up I said I ate so much that it just happened and said that if I ate to much that happens some times. I was just more careful to make sure no one ever heard me. I don't purge enough to lose weight though, it is usually a result of a really bad binge and the resulting guilt.

Tonight is the second binge in a row followed by a purge. I don't know what has set this off. I am just trying to get back on a program after a two week break with normal eating (no binge). I have joined a year long challenge in the chicks up for a challenge section and I think that might have been to much pressure.

I am going to try and be binge free tomorrow. Also I might remove myself from the year long challenge and focus on a smaller goal perhaps?

I am off to journal now. I am trying to journal more to help with feeling that lead to overeating.

Thanks for listening-

*hugs*
Hang in there! I'm glad you could share your day with us. I agree that smaller goals might be better for you right now. Best of luck. We're all rooting for you.

Hi Cutie,

I just wanted to tell you that it is huge that you've thrown down here. You are not alone.

I say definitely pull yourself out of the challenge, because the pressure of a competition is so likely to trigger you. Adding a new set of standards to judge yourself by -- on top of the ones you already have.

I'm with you...

I hope that talking about this helps you to move past those issues.
All of us chicks will be here to help when you need us.
I would be lying if i said i had never thought about making myself purge after a binge. I've never done it though.
I have, however, drank dieter's tea as a way to push everything on through my system. Not really much different really.

I thought about drinking that tea again last night after i had my carb crazy binge fest. But i don't want to do that again.
That tea is bad stuff. You sort of get hooked on it, without it you get constipated for days. The first time i used it, i drank it daily for 2 weeks in a row. I lost a few pounds, but it wasn't worth it because my bowels have never been the same since. Aside from the ongoing constipation issues, i became lactose intolerant. Cleansing teas strip you of all your natural flora.

I sort of feel like this is a confession of my own.
The 3FC is the best.

i know its hard, but dealing with those emotional issues will help so much. being honest with yourself is the first step, i feel. i was never honest with myself and hid behind the food i binged on. the faster i ate, the less i had to think about whatever i was running from. slow down, take your time, breathe deeply, and you can do it. seriously.

Good luck with smaller changes.
And Billie, try taking acidophilus or other probiotics to get your intestinal flora back to normal, or eat a good active culture yoghurt.

Thank you fatmad, i do take probiotics and it helps a lot. When i quit taking them tho, i get problems again. I just have to take them all the time.