[Maddie89]

Hi all!
I have been a binge/compulsive over eater for most of my life. I'm so ashamed of it and hadn't told anyone about it until 2 weeks ago when I told my best friend. I was just in a hopeless "I'm never going to lose weight, I'll always be fat" state of mind. I was close to giving up on even trying. But she was amazing about it and I was telling her that lent was the only time I felt in control. I don't do lent for religious reasons just as a challenge. My binge foods are chocolate, crisps, ice cream and fizzy drinks. I would go to the shop everyday if I had the money and buy 6 chocolate bars, 4 packs of crisps, 2 ice creams and a 750ml bottle of Pepsi max. I would just run home and staight up to my sitting room and hide it and eat it all in about an hour. I would panick if i heard someone coming and hide it under the couch. One of the reasons I started buying multiples of things was so the people in the shop would think I was buying for more then myself. I was terrified they were judging me. I would get them and leave. They would be in a plastic bag and I would take all the chocolate bars and ice cream and put them in my hand bag incase my family saw the buldging bag

It's hard to explain to others cause I think they'll either judge me or not understand that once I've planted the sead in my head there is no stopping me. I just can't control it its like something more powerful takes over. But anyway my best friend was amazing, she always is. She just suggested that I try doing a fake lent and see how it goes. We decided I would start on that monday. So she texted me and said it's the start of our fake lent today! and I was sort of shock and was like our? and she was like yeah I want to be here for you and it'll be good for me too.

So it's been 15 days and I haven't looked back. I'm going to go till christmas and see how I feel. If I feel I'm stronger then the impulse then I'll let myself have something once a week.

I do have one concern since I started. My appetite is gone. It's almost like if it's not any of the food above, I'm not interested. For example all I ate one day was a banana. I'm not trying to starve myself, I'd admit if I was but I just amn't interested in any food. Does anyone have suggestions as to how I can fix this?

I just wanted to say thank you for being here, you have no idea what piece of mind I have just from knowing I'm not alone.

Thanks all!

[Spoz]

Binge eating isn't something you can cut out of your life. You need to understand the cause of it before you can fix it - those reasons are probably the same as for why your generally overeat if you do.

Many people think that binge eating can be fixed by eliminating triggers or foods on which they binge because they feel the foods cause them to lose control, but the truth is this kind of thinking links into the 'all or nothing' element and this is what CAUSES bingeing.

I really wish you overcome this. Well done on your binge-free days so far and for opening up about it It might be a long journey, but it will be worth it.

[fatmad]

maybe for you the "fake lent" will be helpful, and give you time to get used to not bingeing. HOWEVER, it may be that you get thru lent by thinking that once Easter comes, you can pig out and binge on cream eggs and chocolate.
You need to think of this lent as a start to overcoming binges, and that at the end of the fake lent (advent?) you can start to allow occasional treats but not binges.
I am currently going for a preChristmas non-binge time too, but I have been thinking about how to handle the holidays. There are lots of things I can plan for, and will make a plan for how I will eat and how I will handle the social events.
Some are easy. One party is a bunch of amateur musicians. If I stay in the music room with my fiddle I won't be eating.
But the dinner I host for my staff at work, I have to be there for the whole thing. So we are not having dessert at the restaurant, but at a private home, where I have arranged for a sugar free, low fat nut torte to be available for me and one of the diabetic staffers.
I plan to bring cold cut or veggie platters to parties where I am expected to bring a snack, so that I have something appropriate for me.
So start planning for the healthy eating you will be doing when LENT is over.
best wishes
fatmad

[Gogirl008]

Hi Maddie~

I'm more of a complusive eater, not so much a binger. Welcome! I just wanted to say how impressed I am that you have such a wonderful friend to confide in. She really cares about you to be so supportive. But, you obviously already know that. I'm sure you'll find many others here can relate to your issues and the journey that you are on.

[Steph577]

Hi Maddie!
I just read your post and it made me want to cry because I am going through the exact same thing you are! I know all about the hiding of the food, lieing about who it's for, and being so embarrased when people see you eating or buying junk. I am a university student, and it has gotten worse since I've been at school because I go buy candy or muffins or brownies and bring them in my room to eat them in private. The weight is just piling on....even my mum mentioned it to me. I just thought i'd email you to let you know there is someone else out there who feels EXACTLY like you do! I could use some support too, so maybe we could email each other about how we're doing, when we slip up, and when things go well. Like I said, I am so happy to have found your post, it made me so happy to hear there was someone else with my story! I have at LEAST 30 lbs to lose...but now I don't have to lose it alone!

[Thighs Be Gone]

I know exactly what you mean about the hunger feeling going away. It doesn't bother me anymore. Usually I eat before I start getting dizzy though.

[Maddie89]

Thanks for all the welcomes!

I know what I'm doing is not a solution to this problem but it's a step towards it in my opinion. Everytime I want to binge I ask myself why, I'm finally looking at the emotions behind the binges. I don't think there is one way for everyone. I think everyone is different and has to find what works for them and this is working for me. But thank you for the advice. I will take it on board. But I'm am happy with how this is going for me.

Gogirl: Thank you! I think she's pretty amazing alright. She's just one of those friends where nothing is taboo. Seriously we can talk about everything and there is never any judgement.
Thank you for the welcome, I've already found it to be a lot of help

Steph: Thanks for your reply. Its comforting when someone can relate. And I know what you mean, when I found this thread first I was so happy, just knowing there are others going through it as well, stops me from beating myself up all the time because I'm not the only one so it makes me realise I'm not a freak. Do you want to be email buddies, god knows I could use the support. Any way let me know!!

xxx

[Steph577]

Sure, email buddies are always helpful! It is good to be accountable to someone, so maybe we can just keep each other updated and let each other know when we have been eating well and when we run into problems...sometimes all you need is a little encouragement! It kind of sucks, I broke my toe last night (sounds kind of funny I know lol) so my daily running will have to be temporarily postponed, but I'll keep sticking to my healthy diet. Anyways, looking forward to keeping in touch with you!
Steph
P.S-You are definitley not a freak! I think most people struggle with the same things, just some more than others!