Alcoholic Parent
 

My mom is an alcoholic. She has been my whole life. My dad took us from her when I was 5 because she wasn't getting any better.

Now I'm addicted to sugar. I crave it, I binge on it, I abuse it. I understand how someone could be an alcoholic because I feel like I'm no better than her except I hurt myself and overeating doesn't make me unable to function. But it does numb my feelings and allows me to ignore them while I'm eating, or feeling ill from eating or being upset about eating too much. It takes the focus off whatever I'm ignoring.

I've done a lot of work to get a handle on it and I'm definitely coping with this habit far better than I used to. But I can't help but feel afraid that I'm just as easily addicted as she is. I am not really a drinker and stay away from it when I'm upset because I've seen how it's ruined my mother's life. But what's the difference between alcohol and food if you use it.

I just wanted to put out that thought. See if anyone else has a similar experience or thoughts...

Alcoholic father. But I spent no time with him after about the age of 5 so I don't know what effect that might have had, if any. I do think the genetic tendencies are there. I used to smoke like a chimney and I do drink, but food is the biggie. I don't know if I'm addicted. I might be, probably am actually. Either way I've done enough reading to understand that I turn to food the way an alcoholic turns to booze. It's the emotional state that sets me off, not the quality or type of food. I don't really care what the food is. I could eat toast and jam or whatever, the frame of mind is what gets me going. I'm not so much a binge eater either though. More like a grazer, but complusive about it.

The most recent book I read explained that when we were children, if we had a negative experience (parent leaving, neglect, or percieved neglect) it stays with you, and you basically don't heal from it. The damage stays with you as an unmet need. When, as adults, we experience a type of emotion or feeling that is familiar to a childhood experience, frustration, anger, lonliness (whether we recognize it or not) we treat it with something to sooth or distract or comfort. For me this sooo rings true. I sometimes think of food as a big blanket that will keep me warm. I know-twisted. That's why I'm reading so much!

Bikini dreader, you said that eating numbs your feelings and takes the focus off of what ever you are ignoring. I think that is what a lot of us do. If we could find the buried and unresolved feelings and then learn to deal with them in a healthy way we might get a handle on the food.

I don't normally post here, but your thread resonated with me. I had an alcoholic and abusive father and food became my comfort, friend, security blanket when I was very young.

I often wonder how many folk with eating disorders have parents with addictions.

My addiction to food was every bit as much as challenging as my father's alcohol and my mother's smoking. My drug of choice was food.

My emotional eating DEFINITELY stemmed from my childhood and environment while growing up. That being said, I think it is possible to change. I have finally overcome emotional eating. It has been a long road, with many challenges. And I definitely think it is harder to overcome when one has a family history of addiction than just a family history of poor food choices or nutritional education.

The addictive behavior is the same for all those horrid substances (straight sugars and overall carbs included). Yes, we can not "swear off food", but we can avoid the things that trigger the cravings. If you read most of the binging threads here it is hugely refined carb based stuff that we are unable to "control". Yes, there are some ladies who can do Weight Watchers or calorie counting and limit their portions, but if the craving is huge you almost have to remove the trigger. There is alot of information and material out there. Coming from a family with alcoholism can mean alot of things- you could also be alcoholic, or you could be the co-dependent (not intentionally of course), or overall the damaged one. Whatever the situation, there are solutions out there. Lots of programs. Keep posting and checking the different boards here until something resonates with you. There is an OverEaters Anonymous subforum associated with this one that may give you relevant info. Best wishes and cyber hugs. This is not easy. We are not falling into a gutter so to speak, and others often can not fathom our pain.

My parents were both alcoholics, my father a violent one. Tobacco and food were also factors for them. I'm learning and using skills they didn't have or didn't choose to use. They were my parents, but they are not me.

My father was an alcoholic. No real horror stories though. He did not beat my mother. He went to work everyday and brought his paycheck home to her every week. Although there was a tremendous amount of fighting. Having said that, I am a recovering alcoholic, sober 16 years. I have a VERY addictive personality. I do nothing in moderation. Drinking, smoking (smoke free over a year now), shopping, eating, and of course lets not forget sex. I have never sought therapy which I know I need desperately (but can't afford). I have never felt "good enough" hence the drinking. And once I got sober I have simply replaced that addiction with another and another and another. I believe I am trying to fill a void in my life but I truly don't know why or what (again I need counseling). So in my case there really is no difference in addictions.

This is so strange to me; I have the same tendencies and I also have an alcoholic dad. he's been a really bad drinker ever since I was 6. I have so many problems/issues today, and I'm thoroughly convinced that it's because of the way I grew up/am still living today. My dad's been a raging alcoholic since I was in the 1st grade, and now I'm a senior in high school. My mom never left my dad because she literally had no other options. he was unemployed and passed out on the couch nearly everyday for over a year. he still can't keep a steady job without the alcohol affecting him at work somehow.
I remember my dad used to drive my siblings and I to school drunk when we were in grade school. I was so angry at my sister for making my dad drive us all those times. I just wanted him to sleep it off. Then again, we were only kids not knowing what to do under such circumstances.

I, along with the rest of you guys could be here until next christmas, just telling all the crazy stories of living with an addict.
My usual defense mechanism is blocking things out, but lately I find myself getting really upset over constant flashbacks.

I never ever thought a topic like this one would be on this forum. I'm really glad it was though, because I really needed to talk about it.

I empathize ladies. My mother and father are alcoholics. They divorced when I was 3. Lived with my mom. Dad was forced to drop out of our lives when I was 7 because he couldnt or wouldnt pay child support. My mother seemed to hate me. My father, when I was able to see him, was loving and supportive.

My family has always been "evening" drinkers. A cocktail after work and one or 2 before bedtime. That has been my routine for 20 + yrs. I just recently (with the grace of my Lord and savior) up and quit. I remember almost having a panic feeling knowing I was out of rum or soda or even ice. I still deny being an alcoholic, but I do believe I was addicted.

Drinking before bed created hunger and I would eat before bed. I am not in the best of marriages. My husband is very difficult, has anger issues and is going thru a mid-life crisis. He cheated on me for the 2nd time this past Dec - Jan. I guess I just got tired of being in denial about my weight and living in an abusive marriage. Not only that, but to stop being a victim of the life I had as a child. I set down ultamatims and am ready for the consequenses now.

I no longer use caffiene, I no longer drink and I am no longer a victim. My food is under control, I believe, because my life is finally in my control.

My mother was a practising alcoholic up until I was 3, at that point my father took me away from her and wouldn't give me back until she got treatment. I am grateful everyday that she did, she is now a recovering alcoholic (been in AA for 15 years), 6 of my aunts and uncle's are alcoholics and my grandpa died from alcoholism. Growing up around all of my mother's AA friends, and going to meetings with her I heard all of the horrible stories about what alcohol does to people, and saw it first hand through my family. I vowed that I would never become like them but I realized maybe 2 years ago that I have, but my drug of choice is food.

I agree with Disgruntled One on this, it is almost harder to deal with an addiction to food because we have to face it at least 3 times a day. There is no way to just avoid it all together, obviously.

It seems like we all have similar yet somewhat different situations. I guess just reflecting on the events of your life and figuring out a way to deal with them is what is important. We are not alone.

I think you've definitely got it down to a T, but I think you're downfall may just be that you're telling yourself you're 'addicted' to sugar. If I told myself I was sugar addicted I'd personally feel like I was making it more difficult for myself wheras if you just look at it as a hurdle that you most definitely can overcome completely...don't you think it's more achievable?