You're dealing with a tough situation, but it is brave of you to tackle it before it becomes an even bigger problem.
I found Geneen Roth's books very helpful, especially "Feeding the Hungry Heart." Not all of it applied to me, and it was scary to think about what it proposes doing, which is to invite in the scary food and face it. But I have a couple of bags of chocolate in my cupboard that I can have there comfortably, I can walk past chips in the grocery store, and I have my mind free for things other than food. I can't remember the last time I had a binge. The feelings are still there from time to time, but they're more signs to pay attention to my life than demons to battle, and I feel stronger each time I overcome them. It's really surprising what triggers might be there, from something someone said that was immediately suppressed, fear that doing one thing that seems appealing could lead to something frightening, or even something that is a reminder of a long-forgotten feeling or experience. Obviously, I don't know your background, but if I had experienced a binge like yours, it likely could have been fear of "showing off" my sexuality through the dance class and attracting a harmful man, something I never would have understood if I hadn't done the work of going back through my issues. Losing weight is another challenge, but I do feel that I'm going after that without the fear that I'll become a binge eater again.
You can do this! Some county mental health departments offer a sliding-scale payment for counseling, based on income. I don't know what your insurance is like, but mine had a co-pay that covered a certain number of visits to a therapist who helped me deal with issues beneath the eating. You're experiencing symptoms that are affecting your work, since you didn't go into work. Your livelihood is at stake, and your health and safety.
Just checking in and seeing how you are doing. I hope somehow that you can have a couple of sessions of talk therapy. See what resourses there are in your area. Perhaps there are avenues you can persue that you are not aware of. Ask your Doctor or your GYNO. Many times they are aware of services that might be available to you. I go myself for different reasons and it is $75.00 per hour and I go every 8 weeks. I pay them $50.00 per month. SO I always have a running balance. Maybe if you go once or twice and then continue with OA. Just a thought.
Suzy
I just finished reading this thread & wanted you to know that you are not alone.
I moved to a small town (for my hubby's job) & have made some friends, but none that I have 'allowed' myself to really connect with (fear of rejection...long story...)
I find that when I'm overtired, I start to get anxious & sometimes depressed and then I start to eat. Not necessarily because I'm hungry (although sometimes I am & the junk satisfies an immediate craving because it's fast & quick), but because the the bloated feeling, numbs me. Yes, I feel sick & disgusting, and for a while I remember that feeling & go to the other extreme of not eating for fear of relapsing. It's crazy I know, but that's me!
Hang in there girl! Share your dilemna with your roommate or vent here. Sometimes clarity comes when our problems are acknowledged (instead of hidden away).
the weekend was okay... by bf flew in to visit to I ate a lot of unhealthy things but didn't BINGE per se... and at the moment that is a really big deal for me.
i definitely want to check out that Geneen Roth book. The idea of learning to deal with the urges to binge seems much more realistic to me than banning things from my house, which just isn't possible in part because I have a roommate. I can't imagine talking to her about these issues.
thanks again to everyone for responding, it's really helpful just to hear from other people!
I feel the same way. Its a depressing thought and I wish it would it would just go away. I stay on my diet for a while and do really well, but then something happens and I gorge myself. Its a sad vicious cycle
iriswhispers-as I read the thread you started, I started sobbing. I know exactly what you are going through. There could be nothing to trigger a binge.....it just happens. I find that I am all or nothing when it comes to dieting. I have lost the same pounds several times. I am happily married with wonderful children, but yet seem to sneak away to have my "naughty food". Needless to say, I am having a rough period right now.
The advice that was given was awesome! My successful times uncluded an obsession to a new diet or a new exercise regime. Maybe you could try some type of positive change of pace in your diet or exercise. My coworkers are very supportive and offered a weight loss challenge. We are starting Monday.....I pray for another beginning to a successful period. Who knows....maybe even for life this time.
mollyjean, i hope things get better for you. i'm still struggling, but someday we will both beat this! =)
cajunsugar, good luck with that weight loss challenge! some of my girlfriends did that awhile ago and it was really helpful for me. I have been trying to rustle up interest in doing it again, but no luck! also it's just nice to know there are others out there who just seem to binge for no apparent reason - as far as I know I am fairly happy and successful, i really can't explain why i gorge myself sometimes.
I know exactly what you are going through. There could be nothing to trigger a binge.....it just happens. I find that I am all or nothing when it comes to dieting. I have lost the same pounds several times. I am happily married with wonderful children, but yet seem to sneak away to have my "naughty food". Needless to say, I am having a rough period right now.
