I feel like I don't deserve food
 

I just kind of had a "binge" day from my diet. It wasn't extreme but I think I ate around 2000 calories today.

Usually after I do this, I don't eat for a day or two to make up for it. Is this a bad way to handle this. I use to deal with anorexia (obv still do) so I don't know if this has anything to do with me wanting to fast all the time

I'm planning to go on a 3-5 day fast to refresh my system of all the bad crap I ate and go back to healthy eating,

It tends to help but I am wondering if what I am doing is doing more harm to me mentally then good.

honey, you DO deserve to eat: to norish your system. I would not, and could not, fast for 5 days. I'm not a doctor, but this does not seem healthy. I would try to focus on daily cal allotments instead of this cycle. I'm sure a more experienced/knowledgable person will post, but please, don't hurt yourself!

I hate to get all tough love, but saying you don't "deserve food" is like saying you don't "deserve air."

Sweetlovin - no, fasting for a 2000 calorie day to "make up for it" is not a good way to handle it. It is eating disordered behavior. It needs to be addressed by a professional. I'd urge you to talk to a parent, counselor, or other trusted adult, as your ED is not under control.

One 2000 calorie day is not going to make much difference over time, and certainly there is no need to fast at all, much less for several days, to punish yourself for it. That is not healthy thinking toward eating, food, or your weight.

I hope you get the help you need from an adult. Eating disorders can be tough to overcome, so please ask for help.

:hug: I agree with the others. This doesn't sound like a healthy reaction to a "bad" day. Remember that although 2000 calories may sound like a lot to a dieter, this is actually the recommended daily allowance for women who are not dieting. It is not actually a bad number to hit every now and then.

There is a lot of debate about fasting, some people are for it and others against it. I do tend to lean towards being against it, and for someone with your history of anorexia, it could be very dangerous for you to allow yourself to get into a habit of fasting. Please think about consulting a doctor, nutritionist or even counsellor before you do any fasting. I don't know you so I am not the best person to comment, but I get the feeling from your post that the way you deal with overeating and then fasting is not a normal reaction, and does possibly stem from your previous eating disorder.

Please be careful :hug:.

Just remember, fasting can upset the body's metabolism and you could actually put on more weight when you come out of the fast. A balanced, low-calorie diet with lots of exercise is still the best way to reduce and maintain a good weight and figure.

Have you thought about calorie cycling rather than fasting? That could be far more effective for you.

This is not a new thought in this thread but it might just be a helpful way of emphasising the point ....

Food is not a treat. It's a necessity of life.

You do not treat your car to gas.
In the same way you do not treat your human-body-machine to fuel. You must have it.

2000 calories is not horrifying. To get to 150-something lbs, you were probably eating at least that much regularly. If you were a dance instructor, it wouldn't be enough. In all likelihood it was only one day a couple of hundred calories over target. That's all.
Mixed in with six days of 1500 cals each ... your average for the week would be fabulous!

Fasting for anyone with an anorexic past/issues is NOT a good idea in my opinion.

Are you in ED counseling? I suggest you find someone good if you aren't already in therapy. :hug:

Sweetlovin- It seems as though we might have quite a bit in common. I wrote a thread kind of similar to this called " What is going on in my head". I know how you feel. I'm the same way, binging to me is eating more than 1600 calories a day, sometimes even eating 1200 makes me feel like a pig... but you need the 1200 to keep your body out of starvation mode. I don't know if it helps, but I feel your pain.

What I do when I think I "overdid" it with food - I exercise. Why don't you hop on the treadmill and have a 60 minute workout? You can burn 500 calories easily and that would even things out.
I would not recommend fasting; that is not the proper way to handle things.
One day is not going to cause such a damage, just move on.

Omigosh, please don't even think about fasting for 5 days! I promise you that, even if you do manage some weight loss it won't last long. Please take this from a voice of experience - when you've used starving yourself as a "dieting" tactic you mess up more things than just your metabolism and you could be setting yourself up for some serious medical problems on top of making it 3 times harder to lose all the weight you'll end up gaining back. I know it's hard for you to imagine right now but one day you will be over 40 and kicking yourself for falling into the short term gratification trap if you don't learn to rethink your relationship with food.

I agree with Mandalinn, please ask for some professional help. Eating disorders are extremely difficult things to deal with on your own.

Thanks guys. I decided to eat 1200 calories for the rest of the week and do 1 1/2 hour to 2 hours of exercise each day to make up for it.

I guess thats a whole lot better then starving myself

I try to stop myself from having thoughts like these but I can't help it. Sometimes I just get really upset and want to go to extremes to make myself feel good again

One and a half to two hours of exercise a day to make up for maybe 800 extra calories is still compulsive eating behavior. Sounds like you are making yourself crazy and I know it is so hard to turn it off. Whatever you do, just keep coming back here. The "click" will happen when you least expect it.

Sweetlovin, just start over. This happens to everyone once in a while. Holidays come up and we think eating is a way to enjoy them. And then sometimes it becomes overeating... especially if you deprived yourself a lot. Just remember this feeling. It doesn't feel good. GOOD! The next time you plan to reward yourself with food, think of this horrible feeling and then do something else. You need to replace food with a fun behavior. That's all. No biggie. Just move on. Forget the fasting... that's more deprivation. The reason why you want to punish yourself by fasting is because your super perfectionist side is saying that you should have been perfect. We're human. We make mistakes. Even movie stars overeat sometimes. It can happen at Thanksgiving or Christmas. This time it was Easter. Or, it can happen if it was an "emotional" issue. If something was bothering you, you chose to deal with it with food. Stop the cycle. Replace eating with something else. Coming to the computer was good. It was away from the food. If you "used" to be anorexic and you have changed a lot of those behaviors, then you have come a long way! Think of your successes. Just take a deep breath, plan your next menu, exercise and you will be back to normal again. Just move on and start over.
Hugs, Dena

I overate a bit today too. gah whatever.

I'll start over tomorrow. Today I ate a lot of healthy foods though but I still went over my calorie level.

tempted to purge but w.e

ehh I decided to join the calorie counters plan. more flexibility