Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-01-2007, 08:17 AM   #16  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ODAAT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: England
Posts: 95

S/C/G: 123kg/114kg/63kg

Height: 5ft 5

Default

Just had an email from my husband, he has to go to Tokoyo for 5 days at the end of the month

Not sure how I'm going to cope with this - he is my rock and to be honest I'm far more dependant on him than I should be.

I've never even been alone overnight in this house. I'm hundreds of miles away from everyone I know. Add to that the fact that I can't actually leave the house, looks like I'm going to be a bit lonely!

Argh, got to try and not worry about this. Easier said than done. Got to make sure that there will be no trigger foods or alcohol in the house, can see myself looking for comfort in the wrong things when I'm alone.
ODAAT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2007, 11:09 AM   #17  
More to love!
 
cuddlzandhugz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Belgium
Posts: 46

S/C/G: 225/ticker/130

Height: 5'6"

Default

Hi ODAAT,

I'm sorry you're going to be alone for a while. I'll be here online if you feel like chatting (I'm addicted... ).

I actually enjoy some time alone, without my boyfriend... he's great, but I like my space. And it means I can read and drink tea and listen to the music I like and not be tempted by his damn television!

I haven't followed your story, so what do you mean you can't leave the house? Sorry if I'm being indiscreet... just ignore me

I'm home this afternoon, kind of took the afternoon off work... well, not really but I headed home after an external meeting instead of going back to the office, so I need to unglue myself from my usual websites and get some work done.
It's - finally - gorgeous weather here today and I met my sister for lunch at this beach they set up along the canal in the summer (they bring tons of sand and there are food and drink stalls all along the waterfront). We had lunch then went for a free massage. It was really relaxing

leah, I'm sorry you're having one of those bad days. I hope it gets better... I usually just sleep it out when it gets like that.
cuddlzandhugz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2007, 12:05 PM   #18  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ODAAT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: England
Posts: 95

S/C/G: 123kg/114kg/63kg

Height: 5ft 5

Default

Wow Sara, that canal sounds lovely. What a brilliant idea!

I suffer from depression and anxiety, and also mild agoraphobia in recent months. I'm okay going outside, but only if hubby is there to hold my hand lol.

Just had some grapes, feel much better than I would had I eaten chocolate
ODAAT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2007, 05:38 PM   #19  
Senior Member
 
Ann72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: US
Posts: 285

S/C/G: 224/212/140

Default

Hi--Just wanted to pop on and say hi. I am new to this thread. Glad to have you all here.

Today is day 3 of my abstinence. It's going well so far. I know I'll be struggling in days to come, but for now I'm remaining strong.

Prior to this week, I was in a binge that lasted for months. I have an infant daughter, and I am embarrassed to say that I would bring her along with me to binge on food (mostly from drive through places). In fact, I was thinking today that the ladies at Dunkin Donuts (coffee/donut franchise in the US) are probably wondering what happened to me. I just about hit that drive through once a day for a medium coffee loaded with cream, 2 chocolate donuts, and a cinammon muffin. I would eat it all in the car within 10 minutes.

I recently joined OA. I'm just getting started and I have a lot to learn, but I think it will really help. I am finally motivated to stop my ways because I want to be a better role model for my dauther. I don't want her to learn these bad habits from me and to struggle the way I do.

ODAAT--You will be fine when your hubby's away. It might help to really plan out your schedule for that time. For example, maybe you can have an idea of when you're going to eat, what you're going to eat, when you'll come online, when you'll call a friend, etc. Maybe you can stock up on DVD movies to watch? Can you do exercise in the home? Do you have any friends who can come over to help pass the time? Think of this as a challenge and an obstacle that is part of your recovery. It will make you stronger.

Take care!
Ann72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2007, 11:42 PM   #20  
aud
lc lifestyle
 
aud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,649

S/C/G: 254/234/139

Height: 5'6"

Default

Hi and its GREAT to see all the Chatters! *hit it dancing C!: (I'm a Over Emoticoner too!)

Just popping by b4 beddie bye . . . sorry to hear you've got mild agoraphobia odaat - that can be miserable! I had more than mild in my early 20's (I'm 46) - only I didn't feel "safe" ANYWHERE.

I've always remembered the book that cured me and sure it is out of print by now - it was a yellowed with age when I found it in a box of yard sale junk: "Hope and Help For Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weeks. AMAZING and cured me almost overnight. (I think 'cause I was just so freakin' AMAZED that she could describe every single thing that I was experiencing EXACTLY.)

I work nights - (I've been sick the last 3) - so I usually pop in after work if you've got the wide awakes we could chat when Hub is gone.

Hang in There Girl - you'll get thru!

So nice to "meet" everyone else - will talk more when I'm not so barfy.
aud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2007, 06:06 AM   #21  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ODAAT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: England
Posts: 95

S/C/G: 123kg/114kg/63kg

Height: 5ft 5

Default

A couple of books by Dr. Claire Weeks were recommended to me by my Grandad who suffers from depression and anxiety. I will ask him if I can borrow them.

Bit sleepy this morning, I got up a bit early!

Will post more later, hope everyone is having a good day
ODAAT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2007, 03:50 PM   #22  
aud
lc lifestyle
 
aud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,649

S/C/G: 254/234/139

Height: 5'6"

Default

Meant to say the book was an ancient paperback when I found it - which would have been around 1982 or so - but heck - who cares? The knowledge in it was timeless and I've made the advice just part of my life all these years. My Psychiatrist was amazed that I had "cured" myself of agoraphobia all these years - he thought he had heard of Dr. Weeks but wasn't sure. Please ask grandad!

I got to feeling better and fell into the same eating trap - rationalizing that I hadn't eaten well for two days led to overeating. So tired of the cycle.

HOWEVER!! *ahem* Feeling Positive today thru sheer force of will and ready to start again with the support I've found here and the zillions of successful tips - beginining again!

Have A Great Thursday All - I'll check back in after returning from the Night Shift O' ****!
aud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2007, 09:17 PM   #23  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 111

S/C/G: 166/166/130

Height: 5ft1inch

Default Learning to live life without running to food

It’s been great to read the posts on this thread – it just gives an added dimension of freedom.
I already shared on the binge-free-week thread that I almost lost it yesterday. Shared how it was financial stress set me off into compulsion.

I guess it blows me away that life makes me eat. I feel shame around that. I always bought into the image of being a modern independent woman – a coper. I had to. My marriage broke up when I was 23, I had two tiny daughters, and I became the sole breadwinner – and on some level, I coped very well.

I lived in fear for a long time, but got help and now know the joy of being truly available to my girls – learned about love and support as opposed to control and fear-based parenting. We’ve blossomed, all three of us, and money just does not buy that.

When my youngest went to college, I began to be open to my own new found freedom. I tapped into my dreams, found my own version of heaven in a coastal country cottage, and took steps to go back to University myself.

I also found the courage to start dating again – which quite honestly terrified me. Last year, I had to let go a relationship with a man I was very attached to. I had been ignoring my intuition for a long time. I liked him a lot, the chemistry was all there, and he represented financial security on top of everything else. Ticked all the boxes.

Not quite. Don’t need to take his inventory, but I knew at a gut level I was getting close to a very angry troubled person again. He began to want to make my decisions, fix me, tell me how to live and I was letting him do that. On some level, it suited me. This was all connected to my food issues too.

My 12 step programme saved me. I had to get real and get honest. I got out. I found great caring tenants for my house, I moved back to the city, applied for a transfer to one of the best Universities out there, got a great job that will allow me study, and was accepted at the college. All that happened this past 12 months, and I think being in this new place of truth allowed me finally tap into the truth around my food.

Yesterday’s financial ‘crisis’ stemmed from the fact that I applied to consolidate my student loan into my small mortgage so that I would not be crippled with high interest rates. The broker set me off by saying ‘I’d be a lot easier to deal with if I was a ‘straightforward case of a person who was not a student but in a 9-5 job or was part of a working couple looking for finance’.

I was gutted. I felt that all my values were under attack. I wanted to eat. I wanted a lot of chocolate. I wanted an unlimited supply. I wanted to start and not stop. I wanted comfort and security. I wanted to eat on self-pity. I wanted to RUN back into the difficult relationship, allow someone else to control me and fix me and make me stop hurting.

Today, my light is shining again. I’ve cried but I have not gone into binge mode. Today, I worked and walked and swam in the sea. Today, I took out my exam results to date – I have 18 months completed of a four-year degree. There are enough A’s on my results to reassure me that I’m doing the right thing.

I’m reading books on my course that blow me away with wisdom. I’m so grateful for my life today, for good friends, and good health and beautiful children. Sorry for this being so long; I started a blog but have yet to figure out how to actually edit the thing, but I will so I can stop cluttering up this site. Too tired to figure it out now.
Thanks for all the great posts and help.
searsha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2007, 10:29 PM   #24  
Senior Member
 
Ohhkay8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 308

S/C/G: 214/ticker/135

Height: 5'2

Default

Hi all, I'm new to this thread. I don't think I ever realized it before, but after reading through this group I now know that I have spent the vast majority of my life binge eating without really knowing the extent to which it was hurting me. My life would revolve around food. Not even three weeks ago, I sat at home alone on a Saturday and just ate and ate and ate. Nothing seemed to satisfy me, and even though I was nowhere near hungry, I just kept eating and eating. I still have those urges.

However, I started couting calories a week ago today and have resisted binging. Just seeing the actual numbers helps me realize that, no matter what, it isn't worth it. The urges come and they almost HURT, but so far I've been successful in not giving in. I hope it can remain that way, and I hope we can all help each other when the temptation strikes.

Have a good evening all! Oh, and ODAAT, I spend quite a lot of my lounge time on this site, so I'll be around along with Sara.
Ohhkay8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2007, 11:35 PM   #25  
Senior Member
 
Ann72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: US
Posts: 285

S/C/G: 224/212/140

Default

First off, I have to say that I am so grateful for this website and this thread in particular. It really feels good to have found such wonderful, caring, sharing people who understand the struggles of bingeing, emotional eating, and compulsive overeating. Thanks to each and every one of you.

Ohhkay8--Welcome to you. I'm glad you had the eye opening realization about your bingeing struggles. I know it gives me hope to see others who are binge free for months and years. For me, I now realize that my journey to recovery is as much emotional and spiritual as it is physical. Right now, I am not focused on losing weight. I am only focused on getting well and breaking free from this lifelong struggle. I wish you the best with your food plan and hope you continue to post here. I have found it a great group for support.

Searsha--I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough to share your story and your struggles with us so openly. What a courageous person you are! You are an incredible role model to your girls. You have done what is necessary to put them first and to take care of yourself in the process. I sure wish my mom would've done the same (I'm working on doing so for my girl). You really have so much on your plate right now with working, school, dealing with the financials, and working through your recovery. Being able to deal with all this and not turn to food or alcohol (or any other substance) speaks so much about your strength and will to recover. I will think of your strength the next time I'm struggling and feel the need to binge. I'm so happy that you chose wellness over a binge.

aud--Glad you're feeling positive and ready to start again. Come post here next time you're feeling the need to binge. BTW, I love the dancing carrot. Keep those emoticons coming!

ODAAT--Hope you're feeling more rested.

Take care!
Ann72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 12:07 AM   #26  
I shall be released...
 
JustSharing83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 776

Height: 5'8"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ODAAT View Post
Hi JustSharing83
Glad you feel a little better for opening it up. It seems the saying is true "A problem shared is a problem halved". I think as time goes on, we learn more about our cravings and binges, and it makes them easier to cope with. Have you explained the situation to your boyfriend? I know with my other half, I have to be very blunt and explain that I cannot deviate from my plan - otherwise he is always suggesting nice things (icecream the other day!) as he thinks he is being nice. Pizza is a problem for me - when he has the guys over, they always order a large pizza each. I keep a low fat pizza in the freezer for me, and ask them to put thier leftovers straight in the bin "so the kitchen doesn't smell". Hope you aren't feeling too bad - try to think of this as a learning experience, you can take something positive from this.
Hello! I have only talked about the boyfriend situation a little. We have been living together for a year. He is a binge eater as well. I started the dieting thing and he wanted nothing to do with it at first. He slowly got interested and now eats healthier and goes out walking with me. I'm the stronger one most of the time, though. Like I said before, he is very picky, so he gets sick of constantly eating the same healthy things over and over and constantly craves the junk food he loves so much. I've been good at turning it down, but sometimes I get weak and he becomes sort of a trigger for me.

You're right about keeping the healthier pizzas on hand. When we've had them in the past, they were what we turned to when craving pizza! I've had to do the same thing with ice cream. It's not a big vice for me (I'm more about burgers and pizza!) but he craves ice cream quite often. So I got some fat free/no added sugar brownie ice cream and calorie free chocolate syrup. Great for a hot day and keeps us from going to Dairy Queen!

Anyway, I am still going strong! I've had the desire to binge a few times late at night since my last post, but I overcame it and have stayed on plan everyday. So while the pizza experience was hard for me to handle, it's turned into motivation to not feel like that again!
JustSharing83 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 03:50 PM   #27  
aud
lc lifestyle
 
aud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,649

S/C/G: 254/234/139

Height: 5'6"

Default

I'm loving the Chat Thread sooooo much and searsha I'm glad you "blogged" your thoughts and life right here. I'm usually so pressed for time - not sure I would have took the time to click a blog etc, ya know? All the Posts here are so heartfelt and that in and of itself is so inspirational to me.

Tx gals!

Want to say HELLLOOOO to ann & ohokay&justsharing&cuddlesH&CousinRC&leah!!! - Have been reading away here and your contributions are awesome and I can identify so much!!

I think ann was talking about the shame felt - I just want to try to turn the shame around - not in a way that leads to a "I deserve this . . . *insert mountain of binge food* . . . " - but just to look at the PAST as just a stage I/we went thru. So yeah, you took your infant daughter thru a million drive thru's - SO WHAT, ya know? You lived thru a FUN FILLED Pregnancy - CHILDBIRTH - hormonal roller coasters and went thru a period . . . a stage . . . a transitional coping mechanism of eating too much of the wrong things. It's over now . . . you were and still ARE a wonderful Mom that wasn't taking baby to shoot heroin in an alley and are now taking steps to be a healthy example . . . blah blah blah.

I'm thinking I'm going to apply this REVERSE THE SHAME Principle way of thinking to the times that I feel the guilt and see if it makes a difference. Tx for letting me experiment with your Post ann . . . Hope you didn't mind.

My Hub is not a binge eater jsharing - but has "all the wrong foods" at the ready here in the house - which he eats sensible small portions of. When I'm moody etc - he'll show up with a gallon of ice cream. I've learned thru this site that is a sign of his insecurity and what I'm calling Passive Aggressive Sabotage. It's a work in progress.

Ooooh ODAAT? Where are yooooooouuuuuu?

TGIF all and will be thinking of you as I plow thru the night and the night shift! Hit it Dancing C:
aud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 04:36 PM   #28  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ODAAT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: England
Posts: 95

S/C/G: 123kg/114kg/63kg

Height: 5ft 5

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by aud View Post
Ooooh ODAAT? Where are yooooooouuuuuu?

TGIF all and will be thinking of you as I plow thru the night and the night shift! Hit it Dancing C:
Did someone call?

Feeling a little better today, taking it easy and being nice to myself. I think sometimes I punish myself a little too hard.

My mind has been wandering off to food places today, but I've managed to stay strong and distract myself. I'm looking forward to when these hard days take a back seat and I have an easier ride for a while. I suppose its the bumps that make it interesting!

Keep forgetting to phone the OA lady, I shall try and get husband to do it tomorrow.

Off for dinner in a few minutes and to then lie on the sofa. Off out to a historic house tomorrow and need to get up early to make a full day of it! There will be temptation there, so I need to plan something to take with me to eat.

Hope you guys are all doing great
ODAAT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2007, 04:43 PM   #29  
Member
Thread Starter
 
ODAAT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: England
Posts: 95

S/C/G: 123kg/114kg/63kg

Height: 5ft 5

Default

Talking about binge-eating partners:

My husband is very slender and usually doesn't have much of an appetite. He has never had a weight problem. There are some foods that he can eat a ridiculous amount of - I find it hard to watch him 'binge', although he doesn't call it that as it doesn't upset him or leave him feeling guilty. When he decides to eat 3 boxes of maltesears in one go, I just leave the room. Its not so much what he is eating, its just watching him stuff it in with no though - I kinda miss that trance like state.
ODAAT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2007, 03:02 PM   #30  
aud
lc lifestyle
 
aud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,649

S/C/G: 254/234/139

Height: 5'6"

Default

Hi All!

What are maltsears odaat?

Finished HP5 and went to see Order of the Phoenix late last night:

Two Up!

Swampy muggy HOT soupy weather here in MO . . . I'm staying focussed and hydrated!

Have a Great Sunday Everyone!
aud is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:13 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.