[doIlookfat?]

My mom knows I have a problem with eating. I've explained over and over it's like I'm an alcoholic or a smoker. Do not give me food because I have no control over it.

So today I go over to her house to walk with her while my dad watches my kids. As I'm leaving to go home, she hands me a bunch of homemade cinnamin rolls! She made a bunch for the janitors at the school she works at and had some leftover. She is trying not to eat a lot too, so she says "here, take these away before I eat them." Ha! Like I have all the self control! She knows I'm weaker and fatter than her! She said they are for breakfast for me and the kids. I tell her they won't make it till morning. More than half didn't. The kids and I ate about 5-6 of them tonight, cold, right out of the aluminum foil. I am weak. I will eat the food that is handed to me, especially homemade treats my mom makes.

Grr!! I do so well and bammo! I have told her and told her....I guess another lecture is in her future. Why can't she see this is not good for me? I will NEVER lose this weight if she keeps trying to feed me!

[tomandkara]

That is so hard! I'm sorry your mom doesn't understand. You've lost a good bit already, so look at your accomplishment and be proud of that.

Regardless of whether it's your mom or a co-worker or a friend from church or the sample tray at the bakery section of the supermarket, there will ALWAYS be temptations out there, so while you're feeling strong try to sit and figure out a plan for resisting them.

What about giving your mom's treats to a neighbor before you even go in the house? I'd say, "Throw them away!" but I know, personally, I would feel disrespectful toward my mom if I did that.

What about carrying a pack of gum around with you for when you're out and hit some unexpected temptation? (I hate going to the grocery store on Saturdays and Sundays because they have the sample stands out and it's so hard for me to not just take "one little bite" so I try to only go on weekdays, but if I have to run in on the weekends I always make sure I'm chewing a piece of gum.)

What if you made a daily menu and ONLY ate what was on your list? That would rule out the cinnamon buns or, my weakness, the ice cream hanging out in the fridge late at night.

You *deserve* to lose the weight because it's good for you. Only you can make the decision about what you put in your mouth.

Good luck!

Kara

[kaplods]

You can talk till your blue in the face, but if you accept the food gifts, they're going to continue. Accepting them gives her permission to do it again in the future.

I'm sure she justified making them as a treat for herself, and then justified giving them to you in the same manner. "one little.... won't hurt...."

There's nothing wrong with accepting a food gift and ditching it in the trash as soon as the giver is out of sight, when the gift is from someone who isn't fully aware of or understanding of your food plan, but when it's from someone you've asked to assist you in your plan, I think it's appropriate to be assertive.

I have food issues with my mother as well, so I've definitely been there. If I'm not hearing "you shouldn't be eating that," I'm getting "one treat isn't going to hurt you... you just have to learn portion control...... (like she's very good at that herself, having recently regained about 40 lbs of 60 she'd lost on WW).

Another option for next time might be to say "if you shouldn't be eating them, and I shouldn't be eating them, let's pour some water on them and send them down the disposal or in the trash" and then do just that. (Even if the kids are very thin with high metabolisms, you as mom get to decide whether you want to take them home for the kids - one for each child, or if they're there while you're visiting they can eat one before leaving, but taking "extra" home is just asking for disaster.)

Hope it helps.

[shelby897]

I think of it this way -- my mother passed all her bad habits on me and it's ruined so much of my life -- I refuse to do the same to my kids. Be strong -- tell her no thanks, you house doesn't need them either and leave them on her counter or suggest she give them to a neighbor. If you continually refuse, she will probably continue to push (that's her job!!) but if they don't make it to your car, you can't overeat on them later. Good luck!!!