Me= BEAST
 

Argh. Okay, so, this is going to more or less be a pointless rant, so I apologize in advance. It's almost 4 o'clock a.m., and as of now, I've consumed half a box of Honey Bunches of Oats (cereal), 1/3 a bag of popcorn...and earlier in the day, I fed myself a whole friggin' bean&cheese burrito and half a quesodilla. Yeah, quite a bit of food if I do say so myself. I took laxatives approximately 48 hours ago, and I've yet to see any results. I'm contemplating on whether or not I should take some more. On Tuesday, however, I'm having surgery on my jaw (I've a horrid over-bite that cannot be corrected with braces or headgear). Basically, they're going to sever my lower-jaw bone (vertically on each side), slide it forward, and screw the bone back together. Consequently, I'm going to be on an all-liquid diet for anywhere from 1-2 weeks. I'm hoping that by only consuming liquids, I'll lose a substantial amount of weight. I'm going to take this as an oppurtunity to, in a sense, wean myself off of food (or rather, exceptionally large amounts of it). I've been known to take down an entire cake by myself, not to mention whole plates of Mexican food, etc. This for me, however, is going to be like the Great Awakening. I've still yet to lose the 17 extra pounds that need to be lost, certainly before school starts back up again. I weighed myself this morning (or rather, yesterday morning), and I remain standing at 127. UGH. I'm so frustrated. It's been an entire week and I've only lost a fraction of a pound. It's so discouraging. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed. (Today) will be my last day of gluttony (despite the fact I've been "dieting" for quite some time now). </rant>.

wow im still up to doing the same thing, :( you can do it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope your surgery goes well. :)

Hey makemethin,

I had that surgery while still at school and don't worry - it doesn't hurt, it's just frustrating that noone can understand what you're saying!. I lost a lot of weight while still in hospital, but did eventually put it back on. I don't eat soup, so my mom made a huge chicken stew and liquidised the whole thing and froze it in ice-cube trays!

Try to make sure that you get enough protein and above all, don't get upset! It's really hard to breathe through a wired jaw when your nose is blocked!

Try to make the best of it and use it as a tool to try to eat more consciously.

Good Luck.

Meg

Hi Brianna. First of all you are FAR from being a beast. Come on now!!! What kind of talk is that? You are 127 lbs at 5 ft 6 in. You are well within the normal "guidelines" of a healthy weight, in fact you're even on the low side. Losing another 17 lbs would put you BELOW normal. You're a young girl who is still growing, now (or ever) is not the time to deprive yourself of calories.

Taking laxatives is a very unhealthy practice. I urge you to please find someone to speak with that can help you with your feelings and your eating habits. Maybe you can speak with your mom. Let her know what is going on. Binging and then taking laxatives is NOT the answer. Please, please talk to someone.

And of course - good luck with the surgery.

I feel you, I'm about the same height and weight as you, frustrating as H-E-L-L, huh?

I hope your surgery goes well

emily
xxx

Hey, just wanted to say I had the surgery in 99. I did lose some weight, but immediately gained it back as soon as I resumed eating normally. I hope the surgery goes well for you, I was left with some permanent numbness in my left lower lip but the cosmetic change to my face/profile/chin was stunning. Definitely worth it and one of the best things I ever did.

I think 126 is a lovely weight for you. I am 127 at 5'7" and I am a thin person. Taking laxatives to lose weight is very very unhealthy.

I agree.

Stop taking laxatives. They are EXTREMELY dangerous. They can cause irreparable damage to your digestive system, leaving you dependent on a colostomy bag. They also upset every other system in your body. They only work in the very LAST part of digestion, and unless you've damaged your bowels extensively, they only remove 100 extra calories of the food you've eaten. They weight loss you see is merely water and fluid loss. This fluid loss can STOP YOUR HEART and damage many organs. It is NOT worth it AT ALL.

This is clearly eating disordered thinking. Speak to a doctor or somebody you trust who can guide you into some sort of therapy for this thinking. Your constant negative messages to yourself and dangerous eating practices (ie. laxatives) is going to steer you onto the course of damaging your body and possibly killing yourself.

Whosa, just wanna add, NO to the lax... <3

Argh, I know, I know. I used to take laxatives constantly, but now, I only take them when absolutely necessary. Yes, I'm sure as most of you have gathered, I do in fact have an eating disorder. I'm currently seeing both a psychiatrist and a psychologist for that, bi-polar disorder, OCD, depression and cutting. The past year and a half has been ****-ish for me, but it's slowly getting better.

The surgery went well, but needless to say, the pain bounces up and down (depending on whether or not I've taken my vicodin). The very first night was excruciatingly painful! Omg, the worst pain I've ever encountered in my entire life! And I'm typically the type of individual who has a high-tolerance for pain! Boy was this a rude-awakening. Buttttt I've lost 4 pounds! I haven't eaten in 3 days..sadly it's not on my own accord, I can only manage to get liquids through the tube. Blah. Not fun. But each day is becoming increasingly less painful and easier. And yes, communicating has been quite a bit of a challenge.


Thanks for the support guys. I realize you're right when you say I'm of "average" weight, however, average spells F A T to me....I can't help it. My mom suffered from anorexia for about 10 years before I was born. I'm just terrified of being fat. I only like myself when I feel thin enough. And that happens just about never :[