this chick's NOT in control
 

I just needed to write stuff down. Whine alittle if you will. Maybe I need a "Pity Party" as my mom used to call it. This seemed like the best place to do it because I realize the reason I'm feeling so low is because there is SO MUCH going on in my life right now that I have no control over!
My ex just bought an expensive house so he can foreclose on the one me and the kids are in.
I can't get a loan because things have been "status Quo" as the divorce papers say for the last year so it looks like I have no income.
Which I DON'T because my 3 youngest kids all have special needs and even though they are 12, 13 and 14 they still can't be left home alone SO I CAN'T WORK!
My 16 yr old is away at a music boarding school (HER wishes, because the 3 younger ones drive her crazy) and she calls me ATLEAST 10 times a day and expects me to drop whatever is going on to listen to her teenage angst.
My boyfriend of 18 mos., who has been my rock, isn't talking to me. WHY? Because he drinks too much and I told him so. (don't worry. Hes not mean or nasty to me. Just addicted to his beer)
My birthday is Wednesday and the only thing I plan on doing is sitting at my sons lacrosse game breaking up the 2 younger ones fights, like usual.
I don't want to get out of bed let alone exercise!! But this damn website makes me feel guilty (totally self induced) so I make myself. (thanks:hug: )
Tonight I ate pork and beans...too many...WHO binges on freakin PORK and BEANS??!!:barf:
OK..I guess thats all I'm gonna say for now.
I just hate not being able to control things!!!:bb:

I too have a child with special needs (he's turning 6 tomorrow, ASD) and a 3 month old, and a DH. I'm going to tell you like my mom told me...when the kids go to bed, you go in your room...cry and have your pity party, do what ever you need to do to get the anger out, you deserve it,...then...you pick yourself up and you fight you fight like He!!, for you and for your kids..because you don't have a choice..your a mom and thats what we do! Remember, you we may can't choose our battles, but we can choose how we fight them! you can do this!!:hug:

Oh Renee,

Honey your plate is full!!!!! Tomorrow try to start out with a big pat on the back!!!! With all that you have going on, you are still addressing your weight. That takes a strong woman!!!!

So start tomorrow with a big "I CAN DO THIS!!!" attitude.