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-   -   My Perception of a Binge (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/110231-my-perception-binge.html)

shrinkingchica 04-18-2007 07:29 PM

My Perception of a Binge
 
Okay, a few threads that have been written recently and over the past few months (including some posts I wrote as well) got me to thinking......
Does the perception of something as a "binge" lead to a greater possibility of purging?

I think yes.

I NEED to get out of the mindset that chicken fingers for dinner is NOT a freaking binge objectively speaking. I might have felt "out of control" eating it but that does not truly make it a "binge" by basically any standard.
I think that when I eat an unwise food item I can *panic*, think that I have "binged" and then proceed to have an anxiety attack until I purge.
I almost did that today. I had a total of 1750cal by 6pm. I was at 1600c which I'll admit that I didn't feel comfortable with because it means no weight loss for the day (not even a 20th of a lb for me). And then I had some cantaloupe. That ended up setting me over the edge. I nearly frickin purged because I had 150cal worth of cantaloupe.
Thankfully I got a grip and didn't purge or have an anxiety attack because I didn't purge. I'll admit that I am not 100% happy with my calorie intake for the day, but I am doing a lil bit better I think.
And all in all, that is progress for me. A few months ago the cantaloupe would have been dutifully upped into the toilet.

So, for me I think that alot of my issues with food may revolve around negative thinking fueling my initial inclinations to "binge" and purge.

So, I need to accept that a "binge" is NOT a couple of cookies or a single chocolate bar or a single chicken finger dinner or a few cups of melon---- or even really all of those things put together!

I think that I need to get ahold of myself during times when I am not thinking clearly to get an accurate perception of the truth of whether I binged or just made some bad choices that I need to live with and accept as a natural occasional part of life and move on.

Janie Canuck 04-18-2007 08:13 PM

Shrinkingchica, good work, to fight the urge to purge - and win!!

You've really articulated exactly what I feel. (For those of us prone to bingeing), impossibly strict programs set us up for failure - we have to eat perfectly, or we perceive it as a diet disaster and it turns into a binge, possible a purge as well. I have to confess, I just don't get what some people call binges. I know that we each have our own perceptions, and that I can't apply my personal measuring stick to other people's situations. But I personally think there is a huge difference between "going off program" or "overeating" and actual bingeing.

As I acknowledged in another thread, there is certainly a mindset that goes along with bingeing. But if I compulsively eat, say, 8 cookies, which could very well be the start of a binge, BUT I manage to get my head together and stop, I wouldn't call that a binge. An almost-binge, maybe. A few too many cookies, sure. But compared to hardcore binges that I've had, when I've stuffed myself to the point of physical pain, 8 cookies is nuthin'. In a way, calling 8 cookies (or some other relatively minor transgression) a binge kind of negates the seriousness of the bingeing that I used to do, as well as how far I've come in recovering from it.

JamieY 04-18-2007 08:37 PM

I felt every word you wrote. You are absolutely right, just because we make a few poor choices that sometimes send us into negative thinking and it ends in disaster. Good for you for not purging. You're doing a wonderful job.

Bikini Dreader 04-18-2007 09:29 PM

I'm feeling this struggle as well and just trying to wrap my head around it all. It's all relative. Only you know yourself.

Good luck with your goals and we'll improve together.

shelby897 04-18-2007 09:50 PM

Wow -- awesome, intelligent post. I admit my "binges" are not what they used to be, but I can still beat myself up over 4 cookies or a bag of 200 calorie popcorn that weren't "allowed" for the day. It's a daily struggle but I've decided I need to get a grip and put food in its place. I'm trying to be so into how I feel when I eat well (full of energy, no stomachaches, headaches, etc.) and yet I still find myself sometimes overeating and instead of feeling guilty, I'm trying to learn from it. You would think I could remember how horrible a binge makes me feel and would steer clear from there, but I'm getting there. :)

Bean87 04-18-2007 10:49 PM

your post really struck me because i started out purging only when i binged but then i started happening a lot - even if i only ate a side salad but felt to full...i guess at that time i didnt want to realize that veggies are so water filled and we eat them so we dont overeat on all the other foods.
It just really manifests and you think "if im full then i binged" but hopefully im goin on the right track and your post helped clear that up. today i had 2 servings of pasta and some terriyaki chicken - in the past i would have considered that a binge, but im still well in my WW points that i kept it down.
thx =)

pinupdreams 04-19-2007 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shrinkingchica (Post 1658806)

So, I need to accept that a "binge" is NOT a couple of cookies or a single chocolate bar or a single chicken finger dinner or a few cups of melon---- or even really all of those things put together!

i couldnt have written that better myself. that is exactly how i feel all day everyday. by the way chica, how is life on that other end of the scale? you are such an inspiration to alot of us i bet. :p

shrinkingchica 04-20-2007 04:53 PM

Thanks everyone for sharing. :) It helps all of us, I think, to know that we are not alone in this. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Pinup-- Life is greener I think, but as jillybean likes to point out-- skinny people have problems too (and I don't consider myself to be skinny even ;)).
Actually, someone asked my mom today if I "changed" since losing weight. I thought that was a curious thing to ask--- at any weight I am still the same Charlotte as ever. :)


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