[sugarplumbfairy01]

I'm new to 3FC so firstly, hiya all!

And what a nice first post-I'm moaning!
If I don't bore you all to tears and give an awful impression, I look forward to posting lots more on these forums and helping anyone if I can!

Basically I'm looking to lose around 1-2 stone (I'm seeing how I look and feel when I get there) I'm currently 5'4 and 140lbs and I'm almost 17! I've gone from being about 115lbs to the 140 in the past year and a half.
I really enjoy healthy foods and from breakfast to dinner I do really well with meals full of fruit and veggies, a few nuts and such but overall a fairly low cal diet, still filling though.
Once night time draws in though I find myself snacking on bits of everything, and NOT healthy foods. My issue with this bingeing is I think connected with something that happened to me in 2005. 2005 I was sexually assaulted and had it not been for circumstance I can't help but think it could have been rape or worse. I have been able to accept what happened, but it's something that will always be with me.
After the incident I started eating out of sadness and trying to comfort myself and then sometimes I'd think 'no one is going to want to touch me when I'm eating like this'. It was pretty twisted really.
For the most part I'm fine with eating healthy structured meals now-I've moved on.
Now that I'm trying to lose weight to get back to how my body used to be, I keep faltering in the evenings and ruining all the good work I do during the day. I always tell myself that I'm better off being the way I am now, having what I see as a repulsive body that no one will ever want to touch! It's rediculous because 140lbs is a completely respectable weight and bmi wise it is, I believe 24 so ok still.
I feel so stupid as I've read about girls being attacked, and they starve themselves for the power it gives them, so I get annoyed with myself for being so... weird.

Mostly writing this, and any related posts are to help me. I've never told anyone about what happened and I think I need to get it out, whether it's just by typing or not!
If anyone has any advice or anything though, that would be nice too.

I really would like to lose weight and feel secure, safe and happy. Every girl deserves to feel like that
xxx

[meg on a mission]

Originally Posted by sugarplumbfairy01

After the incident I started eating out of sadness and trying to comfort myself and then sometimes I'd think 'no one is going to want to touch me when I'm eating like this'. It was pretty twisted really.
I always tell myself that I'm better off being the way I am now, having what I see as a repulsive body that no one will ever want to touch! It's rediculous because 140lbs is a completely respectable weight and bmi wise it is, I believe 24 so ok still.
I feel so stupid as I've read about girls being attacked, and they starve themselves for the power it gives them, so I get annoyed with myself for being so... weird.
xxx

Hi, and !
I do not have much advice to give in terms of coping with the horrible crime you have endured, but I just wanted to tell you that your reaction does not seem "twisted" to me at all. I have heard that this can sometimes happen to victims of sexual assualt, for the exact reasons you named. When dealing with these types of crimes, victims may react in a variety of ways, and you should not feel weird at all! Just know that this is a very supportive group, and we will try to help you in any way we can!

[sugarplumbfairy01]

Thanks for the reply
I'd looked around a few sites that had dieting sections, but this one really did seem the friendliest.
Looking forward to posting and hopefully being able to return as much support as I can