The binge monster is getting louder
 

Ugh. Bingeing. I haven't binged in a long long time. There was one day recently during which I did eat a lot - but I wouldn't call it a binge.

Now I feel like I am slipping down whatever rope I have been holding onto and I am really starting to want to eat junk again... go grocery shopping and fill my cart with all sorts of food, eat out fast food, oh my gosh it sounds so gratifying like I could moan with pleasure. :?: And I know I will regret eating all that food if I start... I mean I'll love it in some way but mostly I'll be filled with regret and discouragement.

I feel like I've been doing well so far and I'm scared that if I slip, it'll be a long time before I truly get back up again. :( I really don't want to enter that world of secrecy again, spending my money on food, hiding food, obsessing over it, feeling isolated from everyone else, and horribly gaining back the weight I have worked to lose.. I have been doing increasingly better emotionally.. I don't want to crash back down again. I've been through a lot emotionally and finally life has been getting easier as I've been able to cope with my emotions overtime.. and I'm scared in some way that slipping up will cause me to recede and everything will become so difficult again.
I don't really know what I need or what else to say, it's just helpful to be able to write this feeling that people may be understand. I love this site, thanks so much.

Hang in there beautifulone, we've all faced these cravings and had similar thoughts and feelings. Is there a particular food that is calling your name? I sometimes get cravings for junk food and if they don't go away, I try to figure out a way to "feed the monster" in a healthier manner. A few weeks ago, I was absolutely having the biggest cravings for cheese fries. After a couple of days when my thoughts kept turning to the Wiener Circle (a hot dog stand here in Chicago that serves only unhealthy things such as cheese fries), I made some roasted potato wedges in the oven and had them with some low fat cheddar cheese melted on top. Not the absolutely best nutritional choice out there perhaps, but it satisfied the urge with a lot less damage, and I haven't thought about cheese fries since (until now, of course :) ).

And, if worst comes to worst and you feel the need to give in one day, don't beat yourself up about it - just get back on plan the next day. An occasional slip happens to all of us, but if we can see it as an aberration, rather than an excuse to continue binging, it's really not a big deal in the overall scheme of things.

Ha, WindyCityChick, I live really close to Weiner Circle, and I very often used to go there for food after drinking, but I've avoided in successfully recently. Still the urge comes up, and I like your substitute!