How I convinced myself I had a problem
I realised that any food I bought, I would jump through mental arithmetic hoops (and I'm maths-challenged, so these hoops were on fire) to work out just how many calories were in the entire package.
Because I wouldn't be stopping after one serving, three servings, five servings -- not until the container was empty. I still find myself doing that at the grocery store, even though I'm starting to physically control portions before I even start eating (by dividing a package into separate serving or half-serving containers -- Mindless Eating helped me with that idea). I-I can't be the only entire-package-calculator, r-right? |
No you are not. Unfortunately.
I sometimes can't go to sleep at night because I am fighting in my mind over whether or not to eat something that isn't on my strict "plan" because I am terrified of binging and purging, crashing and burning. I also literally 'FREAK OUT' if I cannot calculate the calories in something because it makes me so anxious when I don't know exactly how much damage I have done and whether or not I "need" to purge. |
oh no! wow, thanks for admitting that. i do it ALL the time. i have to calculate the calories in the whole entire package INCASE i eat it all. i avoid buying some good stuff because of that!..i'm hoping it'll get less extreme the more i realize i DON'T (often) eat the entire package.
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