Christmas Dinner
 

Purged it.

A goose w/cumberland sauce, a duck w/kumquat sauce, lovely cooked tart green apples, roasted potatos, green beans w/ginger......... and it all ended up being gotten rid of within 20 minutes.

And the food that I did keep down still went in a calorie excess of 2,000. :mad:

I feel like the biggest and most horrible person. :(

My Dad cooked that lovely meal and I just ruined it in a way. And I even had this whole conversation with my dad the night before about my bulimia and my body dysmorphia and I keep promising that I won't purge and end up lying when I do.......... only to admit weeks later that, yes, indeed I HAVE been purging this whole time and NO I am not "cured" and YES I do "know" better than to do this but............... I can't help it right now and I need so much help to get over this. I am going to start seeing a special therapist for this whole mess in the next couple of months.

i am so sorry you feel guilty. just please remember to take it one day at a time and if you have to one meal at a time. also purging is an addiction so i don't know if cured is a good word. recovering would probably put your mind in a better place. please try and forgive yourself and move on