A Sort-Of "Coming Clean" Post
 

Time to 'fess up- I'm a recovering bulimic. I'm here to try and get back to where I started (i.e. before I entered the whole eating disordered mindset), the healthy way. I may stop a little beforehand (I think I might have been a little shorter when I was at my beginning weight) but the jist is that, if I can get my body back to square one, I feel like it's a physical sign saying that I've recovered.

I hope this doesn't offend anybody, I feels odd to think that getting back to where I started involves losing weight instead of gaining because of the way we're traditionally taught to think of eating disorders as people being too skinny but it doesn't take two seconds to work out that that's just plain silly a thought. But, although I do have my heavy restricting periods (must avoid those), I binge "purged" my way up here. Clearly, purging isn't that effective then.

The one thing I'm on the look out for is pushing my goal weight lower. Is anybody else worried about this happening? Like you reach it, know it's not healthy to go lower but feel like you need something else to push down to? How do you avoid that happening?

:hug:
I worry about wanting to go to a lower and lower weight but........I'll be happy right now if I can just get to my original half weight goal. But the desperation to lose the weight and the stress and loss of control that I have/had been feeling the past couple of months really spurred on an out of control binge/purge cycle for me.
I am doing better now that the immediate stressors for me have ended. But.....I know that in a few weeks they will be back and I hope to deal with them better this time........I am trying to use this time period to let myself heal and get into a better frame of mind.

I don't know if this has anything to do with what you were posting about......but I got a lil confused. Sorry.