I have worked so hard since Jan. I have lost close to 30 pounds, and was feeling so good and confident about myself. For the past 3 weeks or so I tend to get myself off track every weekend. It then takes me 3 days or so to start losing again then here comes the weekend and I cheat! Of course I feel horribly guilty afterwards but I need advice for somehow getting over this slump! Have any of you gone through this? I am so afraid of gaining my weaight back that I have worked so hard to lose!
I went through this over and over again since I lost the first 25 pounds, almost 2 years ago now. I've been maintaining that weight loss but not in a steady way. I've been as low as 151 and back up as high as 168 in the in-betweens. I'm finally getting everything back under control and making a final journey to my goal.
Over those two years I discovered something about myself: I was self-sabotaging. Why? I think it has something to do with a deep-seeded fear we all have. Once we're at goal, what if we're still not happy with our size? What if, now that we're rid of the physical thing we hated about ourselves, we find that we don't like who we are as people? What if being at goal doesn't meet our expectations? What if people don't react to me any differently? What if they do? There are all sorts of things I think we all worry about, and I think for a lot of us, as much as we hate being fat, our fat is our security blanket. It's a buffer between us and the rest of the world. It's our easy excuse for why things don't go our way: He didn't like me because I'm fat, She's only treating me that way because I'm fat, My husband/boyfriend/mother/father would love me more if I wasn't fat, I didn't get that raise because I'm fat...etc. Once the fat's not there, we can't delude ourselves about things so easily.
Losing weight isn't about eating right and exercising, it's much more an emotional journey. Eating right and exercising are a very small part of the battle--the battle for health is ultimately fought in your mind. It took me almost two years after losing the first 25 to stop the cycle and be determined enough in my own mind to get my weight back down from 168, and achieve my goal finally.
I'd re-evaluate yourself: Why are you going off plans on weekends? Are you afraid of success? Are you upset or depressed?
I don't think your cravings are necessarily physical--they're emotional, and I think to figure that out you really need to delve deep. I'm sorry if this was kind of long and overly philosophical for a Sunday morning.
A lot of people somehow get the idea (or wishful thinking) that weight loss is not a full time job. They think they can do it just a few days a week, or even just for 2 meals a day. Looking for those shortcuts I was talking about before. Unfortunately, for long term success, this is a 7 day a week, 365 day a year committment. I wish it weren't but it is. I use the analogy of sobriety for my alcoholic patients. They don't get to take a day off either and I'm sure it sucks for them just as much.
I think 30 pounds is incredible!!! I'm sorry you are struggling. I think sometimes, when you are trying to make something a lifestyle, you just give in a bit. To me that is all right. The slippery slope, kinda noted by Petra is the problem for most. Hey, you know what? You have lost so much more than I have and I had a single cheat episode. It consisted of eating a tortilla chip. One. With that said, slow loss or quicker loss, ya gotta just keep on keepin' on. Azure has some wise words to share. You are doing pretty darn great in my opinion AND you should be comfident and happy with yourself. You go girl. Tomorrow is a new day AND a new week.
I used to, and still do, have issues with weekends. During the week, I'm fantastic, I've got a routine. I stick to it. The weekends used to be a huge splurge-fest for me. "It's the weekend, I don't have to track what I'm doing. It's the weekend, I can live a little. It's the weekend, I'm lazy."
That obviously wasn't getting me any closer to where I wanted to be. One Monday following a particularly poor weekend I was so fed up I made a plan. A weekend plan. I wrote out a short routine for my meals, and on Thursday I made sure I had everything I needed for Friday night & Saturday & Sunday. I do something similar each week. Just a short note about what meals I'll be eating.
I had to stop treating the weekends as if they were so different from the weekdays. That was the only way I could get over my weekend slumps.
After I thought about it, I thought my post sounded too negative. I find using the substance abuse paradigm useful and appropriate in my case. I made it sound like I feel like being on this WOE sucks and I don't. When I'm not in my addiction (eating sugar like a crazy woman) I am actually quite a peace with this. I have come to an acceptance that this is what is required for me to stay healthy and keep my weight under control. When I think about what drug addicts and alcoholics have to do to maintain their sobriety, what I have to do to stay on program doesn't seem like such a big sacrifice.
Azure is one smart cookie. Got to second what she said there - I think an awful lot of this weightloss journey (and especially for women, because we're under such a metric sh*tload of messed up pressures from society tied in with our weight and appearance and sexuality and blah blah blah) is emotional and psychological.
I do understand about weekends, though. For me, I'm not so much splurging - but without a routine, I often forget to take my supplements and I'm haphazard about meal times, or even about cooking proper meals! (Which, since I'm now on 2 weeks of holiday, may be problematic...)
I think your progress is fantastic, by the way! I'm in a similar boat, and I have to say that it's SO good feeling clothes loose on me that I couldn't wear in public before, and feeling my body more flexible and capable. Loving that.
When you say food cravings - IS it specific foods/foodgroups that you're longing for, or is it THE IDEA of being able to cut loose? I think that figuring this out may help you decide how (or if) you can incorporate these impulses into your weight plan in a controlled way - like, can you earn yourself a higher carb treat by working out, or can you plan some kind of decadent feast that still doesn't crank up the carbs? Or if it's a particular kind of food, can you make yourself a low-carb alternative (man, if I had an oven I would SO be working my way through the various low carb pizza recipes you folks have shared!)
I find that eating things like Low Carb pancakes with strawberries and double cream for breakfast, or else making an occasional snack of quick DIY low carb chocolate peanutbutter cake, prevents me from really craving high-carb snackage. Are you already letting yourself have that kind of leaway?
That is really awesome. And the better part is that even though your eating is off on the weekends, you have not gained the weight back. It takes a lot of perseverance to not fall all the way off the wagon. I have been that road kill myself. Most recently, I spent one month hanging off the wagon and two months hanging onto the back of the wagon by my nails. I gained back 14 pounds during this time.
What could I tell you that may help you? Just keep at it. The closer you get to Friday, think about your goals and what you want to accomplish. Focus your thinking on how you will make it to your goal. Print out this thread and keep it handy to read what each and every one of the ladies here has said to you. One weekend you will wake up and that will be the day that you will no longer feel the need to sabotage youself.
I think sometimes there are various reasons for cheats. Some of them have already been mentioned, like being afraid to lose weight or to "change" for whatever reason. Sometimes is just plain simple rebellion. That child inside saying "I don't CARE I want it and I want it NOW".
But I think too that cravings can be physical. I have a much harder time avoiding cravings if I'm not on serious low carb than if I am. By serious I mean like induction level Atkins. (20 grams or less a day). It is when I start upping that level that I find I want more of the sweet or starchy stuff. I can trick my body into accepting low carb alternatives, but then I start craving too much of that and next thing I know I might as well be eating real sugar and starch.
I think Boredom is a reason why we have cheats too. Weekend's here its PARTY time. For many of us "party" means food. When we learn to treat ourselves better all the time and have non food treats, or treats that taste wonderful to us but ARE low carb friendly then sometimes we can stave off the cravings. For instance I love a good steak. When money is plentiful (and it isn't right now) that is a treat I could go for without any guilt.
One thing I read once though that I thought was good advice. It was about a "dieter" who kept trying to avoid the one thing she really wanted and instead told herself "I will eat this instead". The story was that since she never got the one thing she really wanted she kept going for alternatives and found that her calorie count was way higher for the things she substituted than they would have been if she had given in to the craving.
I think that there are days when we SHOULD give in, IF we can limit it to the one thing that we really really desire. If that one deviation is going to send us into a downward spiral then no. I think it is about learning who we are and what we can and can't handle that makes this journey individual.
I knew someone who did low carb and lost a LOT of weight really fast who told me that she (I think after she got to a lower weight) allowed herself small treat size candy bars, she just included them in her total carb count for the day and would only have one. She said that she expected this to be a total life style change and she couldn't see herself eating low carb chocolate or whatever or giving it up for the rest of her life, but she very much limited what she allowed. For some of us I think this would be the kiss of death to any chance we would have of losing or staying on plan, but for her it worked.
I liked her balanced viewpoint, and in a way I shared it, but at the same time I know that for me, one would never be enough, once I started I would KNOW that they were in the house.
So I try and limit my "treats" to things like strawberries which are pretty low in carbs, but which (if too many are eaten) can still cause me problems. It would be nice to get to the mindset where I didn't need "treats" but I doubt if it will ever happen.
My goodness, I love this place. You ladies are all so wonderful and you are right, I have made great progress and I should be proud of that, like you said sylvia, I am so lucky I haven't fallen too far off to where I gained it back. I thought long and hard after reading your replies to me. One of my biggest issues is that my husband and I are very close to his brother, his cousin, and their wives. We are extremely close in age and often spend weekends together. None of them have weight problems so we go out and drink or go out to eat and gosh, I just sometimes have a hard time being the one constantly saying no, I can;t eat pizza, I can't go get icecream, I can't drink. Don't get me wrong, they are pretty supportive of my weightloss efforts but sometimes it just stinks being the overweight one in the bunch.
But your words are inspirational to me, and I really AM going to print this post out and look at in when I consider eating the burger and fries rather than the garden salad! Thanks so much. I have tried this WOE many imes in the past few years and my I thank you all for my sudden success, this website definitely picks me up when I am down!
It's great that you mentioned eating out because that can present challenges. But at least your friends are supportive. And you can make good choices even when eating out. Have the hamburger without the bun. A ton of restaurants are very accomodating to low carb dieter and now offer "protein" style burgers and other low carb menu items. Be careful with dressings and sauces.
I feel defeated by my cravings!
It took me almost two years after losing the first 25 to stop the cycle and be determined enough in my own mind to get my weight back down from 168, and achieve my goal finally.
