[broadabroad]

Lots of good advice here! Bekka blew me away with that quotation - powerful stuff!

And I have to chime in and agree that you can make a lot of the changes you want NOW, not just in this fabulous distant future when you've changed your body. You're on the way to changing your body already, and you've made a fantastic start (Sheesh, I WISH I was already 50lb towards my goal!) - but you also need to start thinking about your soul, and your mind.

You need to think about how you're feeding and strengthening the INNER you, as well as the OUTER you.

What are you doing to help boost your self esteem, to help you feel stronger and braver, to help you love yourself? Don't put it off. You can still be achieving things, you can still be having fun, you can still be having adventures, standing up for yourself, making memories.

And a big part of your misery, actually (and forgive me for how this sounds) is your age. Because being young just SUCKS in a lot of ways - you're so damned vulnerable about stuff! Getting older is great in how your sense of confidence and self-esteem and independence develops. Believe it or not, an awful lot of the skinny-*** chicks your age that you aspire to resembling are EVERY BIT as miserable. You might dismiss that out of hand, but the thing is that we take our blessings for granted, and we feel miserable and inadequate and insecure about the stuff we DON'T have. You don't have a size ten body, and you're focussing on that. You probably pretty much take being able to walk for granted, though, right? My friend doesn't have the use of her legs or lower body, and never has done - when I'm feeling particularly self-indulgent and depressed about my own physical issues, I give myself a smack upside the head and remind myself how very blessed I am that I HAVE the use of my legs, I HAVE the opportunity to change my body and make it better and stronger. But since one's used to the blessings one DOES have, one tends not to think about them - just to take them for granted. These skinny *** chicks don't have a clue about stuff like getting friction burns on your inner thighs from walking when it's hot, or the constant humiliation of worrying if a chair is going to break, or if a seatbelt is going to fit. It's not even on their horizon, any more than having to rely on someone else to wash, dress and toilet me is on MY horizon - so they don't realise how lucky they are. Instead they'll be beating themselves up about being shorter or taller or fatter (!Hah! I know!) than the chicks on TV, or about some other thing that seems like small potatoes to you and me. Same as the friction burns on my fat inner thighs doubtless seem like small potatoes to my friend who's been stuck in a wheelchair her whole life.

The idiots who pick on fat people, or who pick on any other minority group (whether it's to do with ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation or WHATEVER) are doing this PRECISELY BECAUSE they themselves feel inadequate and unhappy. Every last one of them. They are busy pointing at someone else, being mean about someone else, in an attempt to direct cruelty and attention away from themselves. It's pathetic. Their friendship and good opinions are worth nothing - forget them. They're lashing out because they themselves are in pain, and because they lack the imagination or the courage to be compassionate.

Sylvia's book suggestions are excellent - clearly you've already made some very good choices, but it sounds like you also have some concerns (eg the thread you started asking about sugar), and reading widely is a very good way to help understand how your body and mind work, and how to succeed in reaching your goal.

(I'm so sorry that this became a little heated. I don't think that Sylvia was at all advocating a cult-like adherance to One True Way of weightloss with her book suggestions - I think she was speaking from the heart, based on her own positive experience, and recommending that you educate yourself in order to make informed choices precisely in order to AVOID the kind of thing that Joyce seems to be worrying about. There are many sources of information out there, and they are NOT all equal - I think both Joyce and Sylvia, in their different ways, are perhaps trying to express this concern. There are unscrupulous people who may actively mislead us in order to profit from our desperation to lose weight - either selling us BS books, or selling 'health' food or supplements that are basically Snake Oil. I think that's perhaps what Joyce is worrying about? And I agree with Joyce that talking to people online in a forum like this is great for giving you an insight into how other people have succeeded, or how they have dealt with obstacles - it's very inspiring to be able to see the tangible progress that another person has made, to see their before-and-after pics. It makes me feel enormously hopeful. But I also agree with Sylvia (and JerseyGyrl), that well-researched and substantiated nutritional information such as that in Gary Taubes' Good Calories, Bad Calories is invaluable for me when it comes to painting the Big Picture, and helping you make intelligent choices about your own approach to weightloss. I really found that Taubes' book explained a lot to me about not just Low Carbing, but also the origins of many other diet approaches - the Mediterranean Diet, for example. Understanding what research underpins these varied approaches really helped me make sense of it all. Personally, if I hadn't read that book, I wouldn't have considered reading Dr Atkins' New Diet Revolution, because I was suspicious of the whole thing and thought all this high-fat, low-carb nonsense was an unsubstantiated gimmick.

Not everyone is a big reader. (I know that my mother would rather jump off a bridge than plough through even the first chapter of Good Calories, Bad Calories.) If you find that kind of thing really hard going, but you're serious about Low Carbing, then you might want to stick to Dr Atkins' New Diet Revolution (which is very accessible) as a source of good information - for example, regarding your concerns about sucralose and cancer.

Or you might prefer not to read any of them. Clearly you're already doing something very right, to have lost 50lb already!

(For my part, I think I'm going to try to check out this Jemima J book, 'cause that's the second person who's sung its praises lately!)

[Leenie]

Originally Posted by broadabroad

Getting older is great in how your sense of confidence and self-esteem and independence develops.

Is that what it is ?? and all this time I was thinking I had just got to the point where I didn't give a hoot (to say it nicely) what people think

Great posts ladies


.

[Jen415]

A few thoughts from me for you, Butterfly:

1. RE: skinny family: I have four brothers and sisters, who all grew up weighing a normal weight, and they tormented me like there was no tomorrow. Today, all of them are overweight, with the exception of my twin (now THAT's another story--outweighing your twin!) who has just a few extra pounds. Karma is alive and well, baby!

2. To quote the lovely Goddess Jessica from 3FC: "Love yourself. Hating yourself does not speed up your weight loss."

3. I am prescribing for you to watch "How to Look Good Naked" with Carson Kressley. I think it's still on Friday nights on the Lifetime channel. That show gave me self-confidence like nothing else has. It even inspired me and two of my plus size girlfriends to have our OWN photoshoot with a pro photographer (see my avatar for one of the shots). That one day has given me confidence to last a lifetime.

4. I am almost 43, and have lived every day of my life fat. Please don't waste your young years in a fat prison. Work on your inside while you work on your outside.

Good luck!

[butterfly_dreams]

Broad, I do sometimes forget to count my blessings. My mother always said to do that because things could be a lot worse. Everyone of us has our own imperfections including those people that think their crap don't stink. lol. And I really should be happy because 50 pounds is better than 0 pounds, right? Thanks so much for your comment. BTW, I love reading.

[butterfly_dreams]

Originally Posted by Jen415

A few thoughts from me for you, Butterfly:

1. RE: skinny family: I have four brothers and sisters, who all grew up weighing a normal weight, and they tormented me like there was no tomorrow. Today, all of them are overweight, with the exception of my twin (now THAT's another story--outweighing your twin!) who has just a few extra pounds. Karma is alive and well, baby!

2. To quote the lovely Goddess Jessica from 3FC: "Love yourself. Hating yourself does not speed up your weight loss."

3. I am prescribing for you to watch "How to Look Good Naked" with Carson Kressley. I think it's still on Friday nights on the Lifetime channel. That show gave me self-confidence like nothing else has. It even inspired me and two of my plus size girlfriends to have our OWN photoshoot with a pro photographer (see my avatar for one of the shots). That one day has given me confidence to last a lifetime.

4. I am almost 43, and have lived every day of my life fat. Please don't waste your young years in a fat prison. Work on your inside while you work on your outside.

Good luck!

OOps, my computer got stuck and posted twice. Anyways, Jen, I have watched "How to Look Good Naked." While watching it I was like "there is nooo way I would do that!" Doesn't that response just prove that I have no/low self-confidence? I think so. I guess I have lot more to work on other than losing pounds. By the way, your avatar photo is GORGOUS!

[bambifox]

My crap stinks???...Ooooh...didn't know...I always thought it smelled like "rose peddles".......HOW YOU DOIN???

[QUOTE=butterfly_dreams;2088638]...Everyone of us has our own imperfections including those people that think their crap don't stink. lol. /QUOTE]

[Leenie]

And here I thought mine smelled like cake

[butterfly_dreams]

LOL Ya'll know what I mean

[bambifox]

Hey Butterfly...how did your shopping go??? I did mine too. Gosh...I hate food shopping! But, luckily...I went during a weekday so my trip to Walmart wasn't so hellish! I love their fruit though...ooohh my goodness...it's so damn sweet...the oranges, grapes, bananas, apples strawberries, pinapple...whew! It's like I'm in the Garden of Eden or something!!! tee hee! Veggies and fish are sooo fresh....yummmmmy! I didn't think I'd ever love eating fresh fruits and veggies more than Mickey Dees...but I do. I look forward to cooking now! I've never "cooked"...I always would tell guys..."The only thing I can make is fabulous reservations"!! Needless to say...they'd look at me like I had 3 heads! But now...I friggin chef boy r dee! Take care! Joyce

[butterfly_dreams]

My shopping went well. I too shopped at Wal-mart. It's the only place around here with resonable prices. I stuck with my plan and shopped the perimeter of the store except for the frozen veggie section. I'm really proud of myself for avoiding everything else. Now I don't have an excuse to eat chips or whatever because I don't have any! And amazingly enough I saved a whole bunch of money (on my car insurance. LOL. Kidding) from shopping naturally. And I think the food will last a little longer now since I'm not eating like I did before.

[Lovely]

Originally Posted by butterfly_dreams

I stuck with my plan and shopped the perimeter of the store except for the frozen veggie section. I'm really proud of myself for avoiding everything else.

YAY!!!! You SHOULD be proud.

[bambifox]

Kool Beans Cutie!!! Well, you might have to go shoppin' a little more often since fresh veggies take up a whole lot more space in the frig, but don't last long, cuz you'll be eating alot more of them...but hey, your worth it! That is soooo true what you said...I live by that. If you don't have that crap in your house...you won't eat it! Your lucky cuz you don't have any kids in the house (unlike me...with a skinny little daughter who loves pop-tarts for breakfast!) I'm strong now...so that stuff doesn't bother me...but in the beginning...even she had to suffer as I would not have a chip/cookie/none of that sh*t in my house for like the 1st week of my diet! Also, even though she's skinny, I'm trying to teach her healthy eating habits so I make her eat a piece of fresh fruit with her pop-tart or cereal! She actually loves fruit (guess cuz she's used to it)...Also, I'm trying to get her to drink more plain water (she's a juice/strawberry milk hound)! I think, health, diet and nutrition should be taught while very young...it's not just about weight (that's just a side-effect)...it's about health! Sooooo....here's to us being healthy (with, of course, the absolutely wonderful side effect of bangin' booties!)...yeahh buoooy...HOW YOU DOIN???

[butterfly_dreams]

Actually come to think of it, I have a little niece about 7 weeks old now that stays with me a lot and when she gets old enough to have candy and stuff....uh ohhhh. lol. That's ok though, by then I probably won't even want that stuff. I'd like to teach her healthy stuff too. Her momma probably won't care what she eats but I want her to be healthy so she won't go through the things I did in school.

"Sooooo....here's to us being healthy" Here here.

[sylvia78]

Way to go on the shopping at Wal-Mart. I love Wal-Mart, especially those Hyper-Marts. We don't have those here where I am. But I go to one when I visit the midwest every year. Don't forget to add spinach to your salads so you can get a lot of vitamin c, potassium and calcium.

[butterfly_dreams]

thanks Sylvia, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE fresh spinach in my salad! Can't eat a salad without that.