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Old 10-20-2015, 05:55 PM   #151  
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I would guess most of us here have a food addiction. We mess up, and the only choice is clean up our diet or start gaining it back. You know you can do it, you just have to get right back on track. I tend to eat when stressed or bored. I have been trying to stay busy but calm, haha. Not easy. People have been starting to notice my weight loss (I haven't told anyone in person except a few family members), and while it is exciting, it does make me feel uncomfortable. Your line about the judgement made me realize that maybe I just don't want more eyes on me if I fail. I'm going to try and stop thinking that way, and just be happy that I'm losing and people notice and compliment me.

Don't feel bad or beat yourself up. You have made amazing progress and we are all so proud of you! Just keep trying. You are strong and totally capable of this, you have already proven it to yourself!

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Old 10-24-2015, 12:57 AM   #152  
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Thank you so much Lesgetfit, and omigosh congratulations on earning your golden ticket to Onederland ! I'm sorry for the delay the past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster, today I came in at 212.6 lbs which I'm super thankful for, 2 lbs. away from my lowest of 210.6. I also began my cycle today, which I'm super happy about even though I was in a lot of pain earlier, my excessive appetite has calmed hoping it stays that way for the remainder of the month. I also exercised yesterday for what felt like the first time in forever, it was good! Planning to do another workout tonight (Leslie Sansone 1 mile walk) I'll keep you guys posted!
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Old 10-25-2015, 05:50 AM   #153  
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We'll I didn't exercise yesterday (10/23) but I did tonight 10/24 and it was a good workout, my 1 mile walk. I came in at 211.6, less than 12 lbs to Onederland bring it! Lol
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Old 10-25-2015, 11:18 AM   #154  
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Way to move that scale back down! Onederland, here you come!
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Old 10-28-2015, 09:01 PM   #155  
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LesGetFit thank you so much for your supportive messages, you have no idea what they mean to me! I've been struggling lately, well doing ok up until yesterday when I binged on a WHOLE PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE (screaming for freakin' emphasis ) what the heck? I am ok now, but that was ridiculous, well in my defense I did save what amounted to about 2-3 bites that I had debated whether or not to eat, I was going to, but something in me told me to leave those crumbs, I did and I feel better for it. I am a plate cleaner, I leave no crumbs behind, so when I do that, it is symbolic, enough is enough. I came in at 216 clothed yesterday which may have triggered this binge, I have a habit of binging when I get a higher weigh in, can anyone else relate? BTW in the name of honesty the cake wasn't the ONLY thing I overeate but it was the worst offender.

For my own mental & ultimately physical well-being I am planning to avoid the scale for awhile. How long is undecided but certainly for the next week or so. I just want to do what I believe is right w/my food intake (based on my research and more importantly my positive results) and let the scale numbers fall where they may. I know eventually I will reach my goal, but it isn't healthy for me to focus too much on a number.

Today has been pretty good, which sometimes happens after a binge w/a belly full of food from the night before lol, but nevertheless I am in good & motivated spirits. Staying on track, and tapping into all of that strength that got me through the last several decades of obesity (300's, 290's,280's,270's,260's,250's,240's,230's, you get the picture ). I am committing myself to daily posts again be it good, bad or ugly. I am currently transitioning w/my internet so if you don't see a post from me here or on MFP that will probably be the reason.

I'm a fighter, and I'm going to keep going on this journey, because I am worth it and so are you. It really means so much to me when people on various sites (namely here) have expressed that reading one or more of my posts helped them, and even that is a bit of motivation for me. I am not usually someone who will stop in the middle of a binge, but when I got a message from a girlfriend whom I correspond with on MFP (shoutout J. if you see this) it made me put the excess food down. I am starting to really let it sink it, and I am changing for the better. It doesn't mean I am not going to have crappy days, hey we're all entitled to mess up here and there lol, but I am a lot better about getting back on that horse, or else I wouldn't have made it this far, thank God. Keep going everyone, we're doing it! <3

BTW non-scale victories -
Wearing my Britney Spears Fantasy Remix Nice bracelet, so when I purchased this I weighed somewhere in the 290's (about 80 or so pounds ago) and I couldn't fit this, so I had planned to pawn it off on one of my younger cousins. Well I found it, decided "what the heck" and tried it on, well it fit, with a huge gap between the bottom of the bracelet and my wrist! It is so cute too, it has become my favorite piece of jewelry (mind you I am not much of a jewelry person anyway). I can't slide it off my fat hand, but it fits really great on my wrist w/room to spare, perhaps by goal weight I'll be able to take it off without unclasping it? We'll see, stay tuned...

My "first" Victoria's Secret online clothing order arrived, and it fits! Well here is the quick background, to my knowledge I've ordered 2 clothing items over the years from VS, one was a size medium pair of panties gift with purchase (I planned to swap it on a website I use to trade on, and eventually did) and the other was a gorgeous dress purchased several years ago as a "goal" dress. I ended up giving it away as I had never seriously worked toward my goal lol, but that is another story, no regrets. Anyhow about today, my first "contemporary" online order of clothing items from VS arrived earlier and it contained a hoodie as shown here https://www.victoriassecret.com/pink...alogueType=OLS in a Large (their pink line doesn't seem to go to XL grrr) and a cami I received for free shown here https://www.victoriassecret.com//clo...&origin=search in a XL both fit me, the hoodie was a little tight to be honest but zipped up. That is progress, that is a great NSV for me. Which brings my clothing total from VS to 5 items lol (I already purchased a Large Pink hoodie in-store, received a free pair of XL VS panties in-store and lastly last night I purchased a super cute sleep shirt from VS reading "Where My Witches At" in a medium for a closer fit pictures below) to go w/my 2 new pieces.

The first 4 pictures are just "comparison" pictures between me at 330+ and me now in the 2-teens and the last picture is me from a few days ago trying on the sleep shirt at VS that I went back to purchase last night .
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Old 10-28-2015, 10:15 PM   #156  
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Way to go with those NSVs! Congrats! You look amazing (seriously!) and it must feel so great to fit into smaller items. I know how excited I am when I go down a size. Higher numbers can definitely make me want to binge, as well as my TOM or ovulation, stress, etc. Apparently I have a lot of triggers, haha. I have eaten so much junk in the last few days, so I definitely get it. I think your idea about easing off the scale for a while might be a great idea. Eliminate something that you know is causing binging right now. You can do it, you have done so much already!

I'm glad my messages help a little, I know this thread (and all of your amazing hard work and progress) has definitely inspired me!
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Old 10-29-2015, 04:06 PM   #157  
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Thank you LesGetFit for the compliment! It definitely helps to know I am not alone in being triggered by the scale, as counterproductive as it may be it feels like "oh well today is shot, I might as well eat whatever I want..." as if that is going to make the scale move in the RIGHT direction lol.

I can't help but want to laugh at myself for freaking out at a few pounds, when a year ago I'd have killed to weigh what I do now. I couldn't even fathom weighing under 225, a weight in itself that I've never seen as an adult. Don't misunderstand me, I don't want to "settle" or anything, it is just about appreciating my blessings & how far I've come and where I could be if I wasn't on this journey, it's scary to think about. I think the few pounds of gain scare me because deep down I fear regaining my weight, it can be very hard to lose and so easy to regain, speaking from experience. However I've been so blessed on this journey, I don't "detour" more than 10 lbs. of gain, I hope it stays that way. I was tempted to weigh in today, but I caught myself, and didn't do it. I also considered doing it at the end of the month, but I am going to put them up for about 4 weeks (no weigh in until Thanksgiving 11/26).

I also remembered that I left out a NSV -
A few of my Juniors size 17 Wallflower jeans are all getting loose on me, one pair actually slipping down my butt and causing wardrobe malfunctions. I "fit" snugly into a size 15 awhile back, but my size 17's were still fitting comfortably, now I might be more of a 15. I'll find out in the next couple of weeks or so when I try on these jeans in a 15 that I purchased.
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Old 10-30-2015, 05:22 PM   #158  
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Hi everyone, I want to copy/paste a post I just made, because I'm too lazy to paraphrase my own post lol -
Hi everyone, I am restricting myself from weighing in everyday due to higher weigh ins triggering binges in me. So I plan to weigh in on Halloween (10/31 tomorrow) and then refrain until Thanksgiving (11/26). I believe my weigh in was on 10/27 and I came in at 216 clothed (which helped trigger a binge incident in me), I've been back on track since 10/28. My goal is to stay within a 1500-1600 calorie range over the next approximately 4 weeks. Focusing mostly on nutritious foods but not excluding the occasional *coughs junk food* or shall I say less nutritious fare, as long as it fits into my calories (I stole that from "If it fits your macros"), but I am serious about being healthier, getting rid of this large belly & this double chin, let's do it! <3

Also I am seeing family & friends that I haven't seen in over 2 years (back then I weighed over 300+ lbs.) in early December and I'd like to look really good & different when they see me. Wishing us all a healthy & happy journey, mazel tov!

Weigh in (10/31) - 211.2

Weigh in (11/26) -

Goals - to stay on track according to my post.

I just posted that on the http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-...ty-thread.html *shoutout Rennie* I love weigh in threads, but I also have an unhealthy addiction to the scale which has triggered me multiple times before I would binge eat, so I figured about 4 weeks off sounds reasonable. That way I can get back to basics, and just take care of myself which was my original purpose on this journey. Being in the 2-teens means that I need to either clean up my daily intake and replace my processed foods with non-processed foods, or lower my calorie intake. Well me being the lazy, processed food queen that I am, I opted to just lower my calorie intake to 1500-1600 calories a day until November 26th and we'll see what the results are. My desire having seen 91 lbs. down from my starting weight of 301.6 lbs. on the scale already is to see 95 lbs. and come in at 206.6, I'll keep you guys posted.

The past couple of days on track have looked like -

October 28th calories were 1,382 no exercise, no weigh in

October 29th calories were 1,523 no exercise, no weigh in

I will edit this post later w/today's calories, thank you for reading and supporting me either through words, encouragement or spirit is is appreciated!

Favorite quote of the moment - "Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so." -Unknown

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Old 10-30-2015, 09:04 PM   #159  
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Sounds like you have a great plan. Good luck!
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Old 10-31-2015, 01:25 PM   #160  
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Merci beaucoup, and Happy Free Candy Day! I'm taking it one day at a time, currently 3 down working on day number 4 of my personal challenge, my weigh in this morning on 2 scales -
October 31st
Old scale - 211 flat
Newer scale - 211.4
= 211.2 according to my calculations

Next weigh in is on Thanksgiving day woohoo, G_d help me, I hope I do really well, here's hoping!
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Old 11-01-2015, 03:15 PM   #161  
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Hi everyone, well I'm officially calling it and saying I'm about a size 15 in Wallflower juniors jeans lol. Last night I visited Kohl's and tried on a size 17 which was big, and a couple size 15 jeans which fit comfortably snug. I walked out with a pair which I believe brings my count of size 15 jeans to 3.

I also had no Halloween candy, which I wanted but when you're 33 without kids people aren't quick to give you handfuls of free candy , ah well. I've stayed on track for the past 4 days, today is day 5 of week 1 in my personal "stay on track" challenge.

Here's what my calories have been -
October 30th calories were 1,531 no exercise, no weigh in

October 31st calories were 1,451 no exercise, came in at 211.2 lbs.

November 1st calories were 1,609 no exercise, weighed in 211.2 lbs.

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Old 11-02-2015, 06:59 PM   #162  
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Getting closer to Onederland everyday! Way to go! That's awesome about the size 15s, it will be a 13 before you know it. My jeans are getting a little loose again, and I'm excited for the next size down because it is a size I have never been in. That one will feel like a real victory.

Here's hoping you and everyone else here has a great week!
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Old 11-06-2015, 02:47 AM   #163  
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Thank you Les, btw the way you're doing wonderful!! I've been following your ticker, way to go!

Lowest weight so far was 210 on November 4th, rough night calorie wise, I had around 2100 yikes! No binging though, feeling good lately and I bought the cutest shirt on Ebay from Bebe in a Large, their clothes are so cute and I got it for under $10 used.

Shown in the picture with my first pair of VS Capri yoga pants in a XL, love them!
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Old 11-06-2015, 01:31 PM   #164  
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So cute, camster! And look how tiny your waist is!!! You are really getting there!
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Old 11-06-2015, 10:56 PM   #165  
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Thank you , I'm waiting on new internet right now, in a Barnes and Noble cafe bumming theirs lol.
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