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Wow...
This is a hard post for me to write because as of lately I'm so emotional. I know I haven't been posting lately and I have more than a few reasons...my dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and I'm takin it especially hard. Out of four kids I'm the only one that even lives in this state so I feel all this pressure to try and take care of him. I'm not even 20 years old yet and I've really just had a tough year. I suffered a miscarriage, my mom has had several health problems including a partial amputation of her foot, multiple other things and now this...its just so much to take in. I suffer from bipolar disorder which isn't something I like to advertise but when things like this happen it really sends me deep into depression. I haven't been watching my eating and can look and tell I'm gaining. I weighed myself a few days ago and I'm up to 145 lbs. I just feel like he weight of the world is on my shoulders. Has anyone else been in my shoes? Sometimes it feels like there are so many more important things in life than being thin...ugh, I just don't know.
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Savannah, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your father. I've lost a loved one to cancer, and I know how heartbreaking and taxing that can be on you. I'll keep your mother and father in my prayers. What I'm most concerned about right now though, is you. Not about your weight gain, but about the emotional impact of all that you've been going through. A miscarriage can be very traumatic on its own, but coupled with your mother and father's health issues and your bipolar disorder, I can't imagine how crippling that all must feel.. This is just a suggestion, but I strongly believe you would benefit from speaking with a counselor. When we feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders and we're struggling to stay standing, those are the times when we most need help ourselves. Such heavy emotional burdens can make things like looking after our own well-being even harder. But you have to remember that no matter what is going on, your physical and mental health needs to come first. Sometimes the best thing we can do for others is to look after ourselves, that way we can be there to support them when they need it. I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to. :hug:
Well wishes, ~Today |
Thank you so much, just hearing kind words at a time like this can mean so much. I've been looking into therapists in my area and have scheduled an appointment asap. I feel a huge relief just writing this all out for someone else to read, it's like for a moment it's not my burden to bear anymore.
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Oh honey, you and I could be twins! I was in much the same boat at 20! I can't say anything really helpful except that it isn't your responsibility to give of yourself to the detriment OF yourself. Come here and write, talk to friends, therapist etc, and remember every single day that you'll be ok.
Sending good thoughts your way! |
((((hugs))))! Such a lot to deal with, I can understand why you might want to put your weight loss goals on hold for a bit. But, it is times like these when it is most important to take care of ourselves and our bodies, so that we can remain strong and face our challenges. Even if you're not looking to the scale, excercise and diet will help manage your depression and keep your energy and mood up higher than sitting on the couch and eating chips (or whatever). I hope you have some close friends or a councellor that you can lean on right now, it sounds like you could use a little extra support. I hope things start looking up soon!
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