Never happy..
 

Morning everyone!

Hope all your weekends are off to a great start.

Just wanted to pop in and share something that recently occurred to me.

You know, I've been on this weight loss wagon for so long. I've been a yo-yo dieter on and off since my 20's and have never really followed it through.

Right now, I'm 21 lbs down, almost half way to my ultimate goal weight and I'm still not happy. You'd think that by now, I would be thrilled with the results.

I think my biggest problem comes down to patience and my lack of it! I always want more, am never satisfied with where I am and am always dreaming of losing the next 5 lbs, entering the next weight decade or being at goal.

Sometimes, I just wish I could slow down and enjoy every minute of this journey. Appreciating the ups and downs and learning from the good and bad choices I make. Instead, some days, I find myself feeling overwhelmed and stressed about when I'm going to finally get there.

Anyone else have these types of feelings?? If so, how do you deal with it?

I used to feel that way, but I don't anymore. I've realized that I'm wasting my life being dissatisfied with myself. I'm 43, and I won't be a raving beauty whether I'm 180 or 135, but I will be the best that I can be. During my weight loss plan this time around, I focused on adopting healthy behaviors. Believe it or not, I did not weigh myself even once during my entire weight loss phase because I did not want the focus to be on the scale. That seemed to work for me. It took the angst out of the process, and I could claim success every day as long as I was following one or more of my healthy behaviors.

I apologize for practising cheap psychology, but I wonder why you think you will be happy when you are thinner, or why you think you have not been happy because of your weight. Your weight has worried out, ok, but you could have been happy all the same. Aren't you blaming your weight for not attaining other things? Those other things may remain unattained now, and that may be why you don't feel happy. They will remain unattained once you get to your ideal weight... If that is so, I would try to work towards other objectives, apart from the weight loss, because your life will continue once you get to your goal, and it has to move towards an objective that transcends weight loss. I think weight loss should happen as we do other things we care about, and not as our sole objective. What do you think?

Im the same way. Im not happy. I dont remember the last time I actually were.
But I dont think that has anything to do with my weight tho. I think it comes from something else completely. And its not something a weight loss can fix.
But just take it one step at a time. You live and learn, and (hopefully) eventually you will figure everything out, and then life will be great. :)

Yeah, I don't put all my happiness eggs into the weight loss basket either. It's just one part of my life.

But, I have lost the weight. I'm skinny now! Every once in awhile I have to remind myself to appreciate how slender I've become! Less than a year ago, I was at the point of extreme frustration and unhappiness because of the extra pounds. Now they are gone, and I look great.

I also look old. My career is coming to a scary dead end. My marriage is, too. My daughter is giving me the cold shoulder. My apartment is a mess. My cat is old and will probably die soon. My son is struggling financially. Being skinny does not erase any of these things. But these things also do not erase the fact that that earlier bit of unhappiness is a thing of the past.

Life is full of many different factors. It is easy to lose sight of how many ways that extra weight oppressed me, so I have to remind myself to celebrate every day!

(I didn't mention, but there are other good things as well. My life doesn't totally suck. LOL)

I understand what she is saying. I was down a total of 87 pounds and now I have put 9-10 back on. I have been able to maintain for 7 months and then the last month bam! I went from a tight size 18 to a nice comfy 8 and even a few 6's. Well right now...some of my 8's are tight and I am beating myself up big time. YET....I am the healthiest I have ever been...running, weight-training, eating very clean, drinking water, heart rate and health tests are amazing. I have a great job, great husband, good incomes, great vacations, but I am constantly wondering if I look skinny enough...it is an obsession. When I see myself in a video or picture...I am stunned...I don't even recognize myself. I understand.

I have trouble with patience when I'm not actively trying to lose weight. Before I began actually watching my calorie intake and exercising, I had trouble starting simply because it would "take too long" and I felt frustrated, even trapped in my own body. At times, I'd feel downright claustrophobic like I'm locked inside this "meat suit" (haha Supernatural) and can't get out. Now that I've started losing weight, I'm pretty relaxed. I'm a little frustrated with myself for not having started sooner - I'd like to be as slim as possible for graduation and could have done better had I stuck with the program - but I'm mostly excited. Every so often I get all amped up and think, "I can't wait until I'm not overweight anymore!" or "I can't wait until I'm toned!" or whatever.

You deal with it by discovering, learning, knowing and acknowledging that there is no end. Never.

The journey, whether you've just begun, have lost 1/2 your intended weight, or arrived at goal.......doesn't stop. It continues.

Knowing that, this time, has changed my perspective forever. To steal a line from Wicked, I may not have been changed for the better, but I have been changed for good.

Why fret and fuss about it....I'll get to my goal soon enough. With 30 lbs lost, I'm closer to my first true goal of 40 pounds lost. When I reach that, I hope to not only maintain it, but possibly even lose more....but I don't plan on driving myself nuts over it for the rest of my life.

Last spring I started eating better and in a few months of small changes lost 8 pounds. Then I joined WW and lost 4 pounds in 9 weigh ins....and I was miserable with my progress. I was a lunatic. I wanted the weight off NOW. Then I started counting calories. Voila. It was magical. It was empowering. It was a light bulb moment when I realized how powerful this method is, and then I didn't feel in a hurry any more. Matter of fact, I gave myself a break over the winter holidays, knowing that on January 3rd I'd get serious again. And I have, and I'm doing great. There is no turning back now.

I can't speak for anyone on a program like IP or Medifast or programs designed to get the weight off quickly while on prescribed foods, but with calorie counting, I finally got it through my head that not only will I be doing this forever, but that it is completely doable and this way of eating is completely sustainable, because nothing is off limits.....I have to watch my portions, and I try to make healthy choices....sometimes tho, I allow myself to indulge, and this has been the most "normal" diet I've ever followed.

Like 124chicksinger, I've had great success with counting calories, almost 70 pounds down since July. I also know I'll have to do this forever if I don't want to gain it all back. Sometimes I'm okay with that, and sometimes I wish I could just eat whatever I want. Sometimes I'm really happy with my progress so far and sometimes I just want to be done with it.

I deal with it by deciding, every day, to stick with my plan (which is incredibly flexible, so I would have to try pretty hard to fail). And I deal with it by coming here and reading about other people's ups and downs. I find it enormously helpful.

Hahaha :D:D:D

I totally feel your pain.... I think a lot of times we go into a new eating program as a "diet" instead of as soemthing we will actually have to pretty much do FOREVER. Every time in the past when I lost weigth i coudln't wait to get to my goal to EAT. Granted, I wanted to be skinny, but I wanted to be skinny AND eat whatever I wanted. I won't say that I had some big Ah-Ha moment or anything like that but i did realize that I had to do something sustainable, and I also realized that I'm never going to be able to eat whatever my little heart desires (which was a hard pill to swallow).

Now my reasons are different from a lot of people, some people think that their life will drastically change when they hit their goals, they'll be smarter, their marriage will improve, people will look at them differently, but I think in the end we still are all the same. We have misconceptions of how are lives will be when we finally lose weight which makes it hard to just be happy.

So yes, I GET IT! :hug:

Hey guys!!

Thanks for sharing all your experiences an opinions.

I'm sorry if I gave ya'll the impression that I'm NOT happy. I get the feeling that my original post gave you guys the idea that I'm not happy in my day to day life which is totally not the case.

I was referring more to my weight loss. I suppose that I'm never satisfied with how much I lose because I've still got tons to go.... hope that makes sense! :)

Yes, always. I haven't gotten over it yet.

I think we all get you...:)

Fortunately, you've found the best diet--in my opinion. Nothing is off limits. Nutritionally, there are poor, good, better and best choices to be made--but your caloric budget and your mood, your tastes, your social life, etc. can easily factor into calorie counting...where with other [food restrictive/avoidance] methods, not so much.

Good luck to you in your continued weight loss journey....I wish you a speedy landing into maintenance :)