I'm with the school of thought that you should eat all things in moderation. Being a calorie counter, and more concerned about the bottom line for the week than for the day, has made this a lot easier for me. If I go out to eat with friends, or to a birthday party, and eat a few hundred extra calories, I simply create a deficit the following day or two to make the week balance out. I always order a low calorie menu item and limit myself to small, measured portions of sweets, but I do not deprive myself.

Like rockinrobin said, I'm a mature responsible adult who can make mature responsible decisions, but I also agree with Tornado's statement to an extent because I still have that willful inner child who throws temper tantrums.

For example, tofu. I can tolerate it but it is far from my favorite food. And if, when planning my food for the week, I put tofu on the menu for Thursday, and on Thursday I'm having a crappy day, I can be pretty sure that my inner child is going to demand a trip to McDonald's. Tofu just can't be a "must have" for me, even if it is a healthy alternative to meat.

Or, as an example of the other statement, if I decide I absolutely cannot ever have another hot fudge sundae, the inner child will get out of control and eat 6 of them. Instead, if I say that hot fudge sundaes are acceptable, and maybe I'll have one someday, but someday doesn't have to be right now, the inner child stays quiet.

Maybe I'm still immature in the dieting arena. Maybe this is all connected to my emotional issues with food. Maybe it will change over time. But for now, this is my truth.

I have had a lot better luck with allowing myself to eat my favorite things, but in moderation. I don't feel like I'm being punished by not eating chocolate or the occasional Chinese meal. As long as I stick to my calories, it's all good. I do find myself really weighing the pros and cons of each little treat I allow myself. With my calorie budget, I really want to enjoy every treat, so I end up just not eating the things I don't absolutely love.

But, I can't live without:
Coffee creamer and coffee
granola bars (I LOVE the FiberOne bars :) )
Honey w/ my tea
bread (I just can't do the low-carb, it makes me evil)

There's no food I'm not willing to give up to get to my goal, especially at this weight. I can't justify keeping any 'treats' in my diet as long as I'm considered obese. *sometimes* I will eat a sugar free ice cream, but even that is few and far between.

I totally agree with this. Since I'm at the very start of my journey, nearly ALL of the foods I used to eat on a daily basis are out of the question. I have to have the door CLOSED. At this point, there are no cheat meals, no cheat days, not even any cheat snacks, because I can't afford it. I feel like I've spent years and years indulging myself and now I just can't afford it anymore. I don't feel deprived necessarily because I'm on my way to slimness and good health. THOSE are the true things that I've been depriving myself of all this time.

Perhaps if it were later, and I had more pounds down I would feel comfortable having just a slice of pizza, or half a candy bar, but at this point I can't be sure that those small things won't just open the floodgates. I've told myself that after I'm under 200 lbs, THEN I will try to work some of the treats I've previously enjoyed back into my diet. It's not realistic to think that I will have spent months and months depriving myself of anything remotely unhealthy, and then once I get to goal weight, I'll be comfortable with eating them in moderation. It doesn't work like that--I need to be practicing having treats sparingly and in moderation LONG before I get to my goal so that I know how to face them.

Great topic!

I'm definitely in the "moderation" camp. Nothing makes anything more attractive than saying to yourself that you can't have it. However, I do agree with some of the more experienced posters that your tastes start to change. I used to think I couldn't live without Diet Coke and have succesfully weaned myself off of it last year after it started to give me intense migraines. I have it every once in a while (maybe twice a year) but I used to think I "needed" it every day and hey, I don't. I also don't force myself to eat low-calorie foods I hate just because they are low calorie. Nothing will trigger the "inner child" many of you have mentioned more than forcing yourself to eat something you can't stand.

To answer, the OP's question, here are the foods I won't "live without:"
-Cheese (sorry ladies, I gotta have my cheese. My new way of dealing with it is to get a really high quality kind that I can nibble on a little bit versus the cheap kind that makes me binge)
-Coffee!!!
-Alcohol - not technically a food, but I enjoy a glass of wine or beer about once a week to wind down. Or a bourbon and soda.
-Pizza (thin crust, lots of veggies, freeze the rest for a rainy day. all about portion control!!)

I can't go without some sort of occassional "treat". If I want some chocolate, I'll make myself 0 carb cocoa with Spenda and whipped cream. THAT hits the spot. If I'm in the mood for dessert, I'll have sugar-free jello with some wild blueberries. With the world wide web at my finger tips, I can find alternate food choices of any variety.
Excellent thread idea OP!

*giggles* :devil: = me too on low-carb. I like bread. :)

This is where we differ. I am not willing to eat foods that I don't love and thoroughly enjoy. I won't put so-so foods on my menu. I will only put foods on my menu that I really enjoy -this way OTHER stuff will not call out to me and pull me. No reason whatsoever to go off plan, when ON plan is so good.

I will gladly pass up on the pizza, as long as I'm eating something else that is equally enjoyable AND allows me to lose weight, and now keep it off. I don't mind passing up on the other stuff because what I'm eating is just as good. But the thing is, I no longer settle for foods that just taste good. They have to taste good and be good for me - long after I'm done chewing.

If I my menu consisted of foods that I could barely swallow, I'd never stick with this. NEver. Taste was not something I was willing to give up. I must derive pleasure from the foods that I eat.

Oh, and I didn't mean to sound as if eating in a certain manner means that one isn't mature and responsible. But for me, while I was on the losing portion of my journey - to eat certain foods would have been.

We are all different. And therefore each of us has to develop a plan that they are willing to stick with, finding what works for them and more importantly - what doesn't.

I think the word need is overused. We use it frequently in everything. Whether it is that chocolate bar after a particularly rough day, or that cup of coffee to get going in the morning, or in my case the diet coke.

Now, bear in mind I am not really comparing my husband to a diet coke, but the concept is similiar. I don't NEED my husband. I would survive without him if I had to. But He is a part of my life which I enjoy and love, and the thought of willingly giving him up is simply not an option. Why go out of my way to make my life less fulfilling?

Yes, one can find fulfilment in healthy well cooked meals, and I do 95% of the time. I can sit and get a look of bliss on my face while I eat a bowl of ginger sesame vegetables and chicken that I made myself for dinner. I can crunch the carrots and think how absolutely perfect they taste at that moment. I would not want to give up this very wonderful dish that I love. But I can also get that look of bliss from the first bite of some gooey cheesy nachos. I can do without the nachos, and for most of the time I do. But when I can fit it into my plan, I see no reason to NOT do it when I do enjoy it, and I do get real pleasure from it.
In the past, it was a rare trip to any form of store, be it regular grocery store, or a quick stop at the gas station, that I did not leave without a snickers bar or a bag of funyuns. I ate mindlessly. Most of the time, I doubt I actually enjoyed these things, I just ate to eat. While I have not had either a snickers bar, or a bag of funyuns in 7 months, there are other special treats I have had, and I know for a fact that now I truly do enjoy them. It is not just a case of shoveling them into my mouth just to be doing something.

I don't NEED these snacks but I very much enjoy them, and if and when I can fit them into my goals I feel no guilt in adding them. That being said, I do understand that some people have to be a bit more strict with themselves, and if I ever see myself going too far down a road I don't wish to walk again I might have to reevaluate, but for now, it works.

I won't give up my frozen WW Cookies and Cream bar (130 calories) and SF pudding with SF whipped cream (75 calories). The rest of my day is only healthy foods, but I need these two goodies to keep me sane.

Okay, I understood and got everything you said. But ummmm, more importantly - I want this recipe!!! This sounds heavenly.

Your description of this dish makes me want it. I really wanted to see NEED, mind you, but opted not to. :). Please pass it along...

Your description of the gooey cheese nachos - I have zero desire for. But of course though I would have gladly eaten cheese nachos back in the day, it wasn't my absolute ultimate.

Another thing, I had to change what I wanted. I had to throw my energies into actually wanting different things.

We are all coming from different places. I was 287 lbs at a mere 5 foot nothing. That's a BMI of 56. To put in it perspective, a 5 foot 5 inch person would have to weigh 337 pounds to hit that mark. My life was on the line. And I was done taking chances. I couldn't risk trying to sneak that stuff in or go the moderate route. I had tried it that way for years, decades in fact. No can do. I knew, hoped, that eventually down the road I'd be able to add in a few of those *foods* back into my life in controlled settings and I have.

But for me, making many foods off limits, taking them off the table was the miracle I'd always prayed for and the answer to my dreams.

I adore my life now, adore it, adore it, adore it. Eating all those foods never, ever made me happy. They made me unhealthy, unhappy, underutilized, lethargic, depressed, inactive, self conscious, having zero choices, anxiety ridden and just down right miserable. Miserable.

Now, having banned many foods, and shedding the pounds I have found peace, comfort, energy, stamina, vitality, optimal health, self confidence, self worth, self respect, my femininity, adventure, giddiness, happiness and joy.

Small price to pay, I think. :)

I don't feel like I have to "give up" anything. I can choose whatever I want, thankfully, and I know that I have to make good choices in order to lose weight and get proper nutrients. I know that 1800 calories of hot tamales candy (my drug of choice when I was on long car trips just a few weeks after I quit smoking) is not going to give me nearly the same feeling of well being as those same 1800 calories of lean protein, complex carbs, fresh fruit and fresh veggies will.

I think the original question here though, was what would I be unwilling to give up (assuming that I had to make the choice every time and forever)...and I would have to say coffee, which I have always drunk...drinked...drank...LOL!...with loads of milk and sugar. Now I use splenda and a total of 2 cups of 2% milk/day. That limit on milk calories has impacted the quantity of coffee but I did find a way to adjust instead of eliminating completely. Also, I have found the most incredible coffee on the planet that tastes like dessert so I really really really enjoy that in the evenings most days and it feels decadent which I am really enjoying.

I think if I had no other choice, I would choose to give up most other things pretty readily.

Barb

I think the bottom line is we know ourselves better than anyone else, and we have to do what works for US.

For me, not allowing myself some indulgences = failure. Would it be "better" if I could eat 100% clean all the time? Sure. But when I've tried that in the past, I'd last maybe a couple of months then I'd go off the wagon, gain the weight back, plus more. I'd much rather eat a few unhealthy things occasionally and be able to stick with this for the long haul vs. trying to be "perfect" and failing over and over again.

Of course that doesn't work for everyone. Some people know their "triggers" all too well, and if eating nachos, or pizza or whatever is going to cause a slippery slope back to bad habits, then yes, it's probably best to avoid them. But when it comes down to it, those isolated empty calorie events (in and of themselves) really won't amount to much in the grand scheme of things IF they remain that, isolated events. Again, this approach does NOT work for everyone, and that's OK!

I do get being more strict when you start out. At that point you are actively trying to change your eating habits. If you have pizza on day 1, you're not exactly making changes! For the first month or so I did cut out all fast food, sugar soda (I still don't drink it), and some other "trigger" foods...but I DID allow myself my small piece of chocolate at the end of the day. It kept me sane and was a small step toward teaching myself that I did NOT "blow my entire diet" just because I had something "bad."

So even though I did temporarily "ban" certain foods from my diet, I didn't go into it saying "Ok, since this is a LIFESTYLE change, I have to learn to NEVER eat pizza, cheeseburgers, etc. ever AGAIN." Instead, I told myself, "I am learning to eat new foods. I CAN have a cheeseburger if I really want it, but just not right now." I know this sounds so simple, but it was a BIG paradigm shift for me.

Eventually, I did lose cravings for some things and I really don't care if I ever eat them again (i.e., Little Debbies) and yes, I'm happy to have them out of my life. I DO still like my occasional cheeseburger or pizza, but I do NOT want them every day like I did when I first started. Would it be "better" if they were out of my life too? Sure, but I know myself well enough to know that's just not going to happen. But I'm OK with that. And the difference now is when I DO have that indulgence, I enjoy it, but go right back to plan. Heck, I actually look FORWARD to going back to plan! I've learned that being "bad" once in a while does NOT = total failure.

THAT is the reason (again, I speak only for myself) that I can do this forever this time.

I agree with NorthernExposure. For some people, a small helping of a "trigger food" is liable to lead to a full-on binge. For others, knowing that it's OK to indulge in a favorite treat occasionally makes it possible to stay on plan in a way that complete deprivation of those indulgences would not. We have to figure out which category we're in and act accordingly.

I know that eating carb-dense foods, especially when they're dry and not filling, gives me hunger pangs that might take over a day to stop. Usually it's not worth it, but sometimes it is.

The thing I feel I have to be really strict about is adhering to my calorie limit, on average. I aim for exactly 1400 calories every day. If I go over (or under), I carry the balance over to the next day (to the nearest 10 calories); if I know I have a special occasion coming up, sometimes I'll "save up". I'm a little afraid that, if I aim for a calorie range or "write off" excess calories, I won't know when to stop. If I go out to eat, I estimate the calories the best I can, but otherwise adhere strictly to the 1400 a day, carrying over if necessary.