Lost 88 Pounds, 55 to go, BUT STILL see myeslf as huge
 

I have a very distorted body image. Always have. In the past I struggled with Anorexia/Bulimia. I have been recovered for 11 years now. I slipped into compulsive eating/emotional eating, and gained up to 323 lbs. Doing it "the right way", I am now down to 234 pounds and have 55 pounds to go until my goal weight. Problem is, I STILL see myself as I was at 323, even though everyone is telling me I'm looking great.

Anyone else still see themselves as their larger selves despite significant weight loss?

This is pretty normal. I know that I do not see changes (up or down) until something MAKES me see the change. Once it was a glimpse in a mirror at the end of a hallway at a strange house and i thought it was someone else at the party. SHE was thin. Once you SEE it, you see it, but until then it can be really hard.

Many people experience body-lag, where you can see yourself as a size you no longer are, either up or down. Your brain fills in the blanks you expect to see. Photographs that are not posed and are taken by someone else can help, especially if you are standing next to someone whose size you are very familiar with.

Thank you for the replies everyone. Glad to know I'm not alone and I can understand it a bit more.

It never goes away, does it? I've lost 65 and do you know what I see? Flabby arms, a poochy stomach and thunder thighs filled with cottage cheese.
I think some people will never be satisfied with what they see in the mirror. Just know this: you ARE beautiful, strong, capable, smart and doing an amazing job!!!

Thank you :)

Same here. It's extremely hard to see myself as different. I'm CONSTANTLY looking in the mirror. I'm always measuring myself. And then holding the tape measure to where it used to be where it first started so I can see how much of me is really gone. And even when I do all of that, it's still hard to see. My brain hasn't accepted it.

You've come far, be proud of it and your brain and the way you see yourself will follow.

jesikaBeth - do you still have a pair of your old pants or dress? Keeping one bit of clothing from your highest weight and putting it on can be eye opening.

I've noticed that I do not percieve changes in myself so much as I project it on to everyone else. When I got very thin, everyone else looked bigger to me, but i looked the same. As I gained weight, everyone else looked smaller.

That's an excellent idea! Thank You :)

Over the course of my life I've also struggled with bulimia and mild anorexia and ended up gaining weight; eventually I just started binging without purging, and low and behold, those calories went somewhere!
I've lost and gained and over the years I don't know if I've ever seen my body as it truly is. I know everyone who loses weight struggles with this, but I think when you've also been thinner than you should have been and still seen yourself as fat, it adds a layer of disordered body image on the crap sundae that not everyone has!
88 lbs. is an AMAZING difference. I second the other poster who mentioned trying on an old outfit; with 88 lbs gone it will probably fall off of you. One of my therapists, years ago, had me take a photo of myself and print it out (this was before digital photo and smart phones, so all photos pretty much became prints!) and cut the head off of it. And although I was skeptical that it would make any difference, it actually did help.

It seems that people get an idea in their head about what they look like, and it takes a very long time to change. The larger sized pants/outfit it a great way to visually show yourself, you can also take progress photos. I personally like to keep track of NSVs. The little things that happen that just totally demonstrate you are getting smaller and/or fitter.

But let me assure you with 88lbs lose, everyone else sees the awesome job you've done! :)

Thanks guys :) You are awesome! I love 3FC!

Don't see yourself as a size, see yourself as a beautiful soul. It is great for our bodies to be healthy, but you were just as good a person at 300+ pounds as you are today. You'll be the same wonderful person when your body finds its natural, healthy size.

We are souls with bodies, not the other way around. (((Hugs)))