I don't agree. I was quick to have sex and guys still weren't interested. I don't think I come across as loose as I am though.

This is such a wonderful & important topic, and a loaded question, with great opinions on BOTH sides how diplomatic do I sound right now? I totally mean it though! lol As far as confidence goes I agree "Fortune favours the bold" no matter your size, looks, even personality to some degree. lol I think in general people are very insecure and are attracted to strong personalities. That said, I believe that in general men are very superficial or "visual" (not to say that women aren't as well, but hey we're talking about the guys) and especially before there is an emotional attachment they judge you on your looks either consciously or unconsciously when deciding if they want to date you, or possibly get serious with you. I know being skinny A. Doesn't automatically make you beautiful nor desirable to men. B. Doesn't protect you from jerks or bad relationships. However in our fat-phobic society, being smaller usually doesn't hurt, and for those who have been on both sides, normally I read it helps, a lot. If a man found me beautiful physically at 300+ lbs. would that make him a superficial dog? How about if he didn't find me physically attractive until my features came out of hiding at 150? For those who found their mates while still heavier that is great, because you won't have the headgames of "Would he be with me if I weren't thin." that many people experience when they don't find someone until they are smaller.

I want to add I'm single, and not looking however when I was 300+ lbs. I attracted very few men, and most were losers to be blunt. To those who found their significant others while overweight, just because you're overweight doesn't mean you're not (or weren't as it may be) physically appealing to your partner. This is such a complicated issue because everyone is different, you can have a room full of thin blondes of 25 yrs old and they won't all look the same or be rated the exact same on the attractiveness scale. So while I at 300+ lbs. wasn't very attractive to most men, it doesn't mean you're not at that same weight, etc. etc. .

My personal assessment is be the best you that you can be, whatever that is, no matter your size, and don't assume the worst about your looks just because you're heavy.

I met my husband when I was a little curvy...am at the highest weight I've ever been now. He's seen me huge and pregnant with twins, thin and healthy....everything in between. I married him and he was chunky...got up to 300 lbs and now down to 180. None of that has ever changed my love for him or attraction to him. I believe him when he says the same for me. I think if you're losing for guys, it's not the right motivation. I had a guy I was totally in love with tell me he would marry me that day if I were only thin. It was so insulting. Years later I am soon glad I was fat enough to weed him out, because what I have with my husband is sooooo much more satisfying. I want to lose weight badly, but the only factor that my husband plays into that is that I would love to live a longer life with him and be able to do more in my older age.

By the way...in being a big girl with a thin, handsome guy now LEMME TELL YOU...women are our own worst enemies. I've had people ask if I have thought about sabotaging him so he will be chunky and I can feel good again. WHAT? Why would I sabotage someone I love? I wish I were thinner than him, and I'm working on it, but I am not needing my husband to become obese for me to feel good about our relationship. I don't think it's as big of a deal as we women make it out to be.

Great advice.

Amazing advice here!!!! We can be our worst enemies, but we can also practice self-care and love and change that around. I remember when I lost a lot of weight I had men approaching me in the grocery stores and telling me how beautiful I was. I couldn't even hear them because I didn't believe it for myself.

That was several years ago, but now, I don't feel that way about myself. I've learned to practice self-care and love and be gentle with myself. I've learned to stop the judgement and self criticism. My world was turned upside down and inside out and I became ALIVE. Best feeling.

Now I'm open to the idea of dating again and attracting the man that loves me for me, inside and out, and I want to be attracted to him in the same way. Best feeling. :o

29.7

I remember being really excited about not being obese anymore so that increased my confidence and also when I get down to the 160's my body starts looking more of an average figure and I think people have a lot of hang ups about being overweight that they didn't see me as a fat girl anymore but just a girl.

I met my current partner when I was a bit heavier, I just find I attract more guys the healthier and more confident I am but just so happened to attract the right who knew I had a weight issue and loved me despite of it

I was getting lots of interest when I was at my heaviest! 212 lbs, a BMI of 36.4
I met my now-husband at my heaviest weight, though, so I cannot comment on since I've lost 50 lbs. He loved me just as much at my heaviest as he has at my current (and lowest) weight.