1st Date Stinker
 

I did it I went out on a date with the guy I've been e-mailing and texting. I was so excited before the date I was dancing around and putting on my makeup I was really jazzed about it. Someone even commented to me, 'oh you're really happy today.' But then I'm on the date, it's a coffee date and the first 20-30 minutes is ok. This date turns into three hours and they weren't exactly a good three hours, it was like a long drawn out three hours. We didn't have much to talk about and I had sort of a lame time. I've had worst evenings but this date ranked up there.

I feel weird because he is a nice guy and he has fallen on some hard times. I feel like I should like him more then I do because I liked him when we were just e-mailing and texting but not so much in person. I'll admit though even when we were texting eachother I thought he was over texting me.

Does anyone think my feelings will change, maybe I will develope feelings or learn to like him more? I'm just not attracted to him. But I worry maybe I'm just talking myself out of a good thing, maybe I should be talking myself into it. But just the thought of a second date...ugh.

Aw, bummer. :( I'm sorry it didn't turn out as you'd hoped. Some will argue otherwise but I don't think attraction should have to be forced. Maybe you're just not interested in him like that, and if you already had doubts about him "overtexting" it's probably a bad sign.

*Hug*

That's only something you can answer. If you think you are unsure, make a second date, and see if there's any magic there.

If you are sure after one date that there's no magic there, cut your losses, be friendly, but move on.

A.

Honestly, it could be either way. If you've only spent one time together, I'd say at least try it once more. But, I also firmly believe that you shouldn't let it get too concerned. If you're not attracted to him, you're just not attracted, and you don't want to go on multiple dates and give him the wrong impression, and you certainly don't want to force it. I think you should quit before getting ahead, that way you don't feel like you're missing out, and he doesn't feel like he was lead on. Maybe you should keep texting as friends and such, meet up on completely non-dating circumstances, just friendly hang outs, then if something develops, you can progress =) at least that's what I'd do!

Yeah, I agree with Krampus, if you've felt he was "overtexting" already, that doesn't sound like it bodes well for a happy future with the guy.

Textual communication is weird like that. Sometimes when that's your main mode of communication, you build up this image of someone that isn't really accurate. You're seeing the little archipelago of beautiful tropical islands, but you're not seeing all the ghastly shipwrecks below the surface, y'know?

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't feel strong pressure to like him as more than a friend; that either happens fairly quickly or it doesn't, and a three-hour date is probably long enough to tell. Two people who are into each other should have so much to talk about that three hours doesn't feel like nearly enough; if you thought it felt long, then it ain't happenin'.

So you didn't like him. That is OKAY!!!! I online dated, blind dated - A lot. Chalk it up as practice. You'll find someone soon who makes you as happy. Texting and Emailing is very, very different than connecting in person. Don't feel like you have to go out again out of obligation.

OP, I'm sorry that happened, but it's is okay. The same thing happened to me recently with a guy who's great but who I'm not really attracted to. I feel so bad - he's very nice and patient and likes me a lot, but I just...there's no chemistry. Augh!

I think if you want to give it another shot, do that. But if not, that's totally fine, too.

Every time I've gone on a second date to see if there was some sort of spark, it has been not good. And every guy I've ended up dating for a while - there was a spark (and usually a kiss) before the end of the first day.

So, for me, weird uncomfortable first date = no second date.

Other may have different results..

thanks guys I decided to let him down easy and then he started text stocking me...I made the right decision:)