Accountability and fessing up to the coach
 

HI, all. I'm in charge of running our gym's biggest loser contest (we call it something different but it's pretty similar to the show).

We're mid-way through the 12 week contest and lbs have been shedding steadily at 4-8 lbs a week. The best part is everyone is noticing their strength and improved cardio efficiency.

The worst part is last week at the weigh in, we had a weight gain and various no weight losses or just 1 lbs lost. Except for one person, the weigh in was extremely disappointing.

We also did an anonymous food diary. I was SHOCKED to see that these people, who have paid hundreds of dollars and get $1500 of services, who have dedicated their time...eat stuff like burritos, ice cream bars and chocolate bars - on top of eating far too much of the healthy foods.

To me, I'm like, what a waste of everyone's time!

One of the other trainers got ticked. Kind of an in-your-face tongue lashing occurred. I thought it was rather harsh. But totally real and true.

I'm in charge of the weekly newspaper coverage so my opinion was not personal or in person, but my article for the paper was more of an eloquent way of saying, "Duh! What did you expect? To have your cake and eat three other cakes, too?" So I think I may have been rather harsh, too.

I'm worried about moral and motivation. The trainer's point is to hold everyone accountable - we can't make a miracle happen for them - but at the same time, I value these people like family. I just want to hug all of them and keep them going.

In your opinion, what is the correct balance for a professional trainer to help when considering accountability?

Would you want the trainer to let you off the hook, knowing they know that you know that you sabotaged your diet and be all nicey nice about it? Sweep it under the rug?

Or is the trainer the one person you allow to shove it in your face that you screwed up? The one person to hold you accountable?

I mean, it would be totally different if the weight loss plateau happened for reasons like water retention or muscle gain. I could never shove a weight gain for those reasons in anyone's face.

But this is a bit different. They spend 2 hours a week with a RDN. By now, they most definitely should know better. They get personal training 4 hours a week which I get paid for but I also volunteer 8 hours a week on top of what I get paid to do to dedicate my help to them.

Opinions?

I don't think you can shame anyone into eating better by giving them a 'tongue lashing'. And it might even backfire.

They know that they ate things that they shouldn't have.

I think most of us know 'how' we should eat, it's the doing it that's hard.

Cut them some slack and move on. Continue to help them or not.

I know for myself, if someone tells me that I can't or shouldn't do something, it makes me want to do it even more.

This is going to sound harsh, but I don't take food advice from doctors or trainers because I've gotten crappy advice from both. I use a trainer for workouts and to motivate me to workout harder than I would alone, not to shame me for eating "wrong". If I want a diet plan and accountability for how I'm eating, I'll see a registered dietician.

That said, no one can motivate me to eat what I should eat other than myself. I have to be accountable to me, just like each one of them has to be accountable to themselves. They know what they should be doing. Maybe it was a stressful week for a lot of them. Life happens and weight loss and eating healthy isn't always a priority.

I have a Bachelor's degree in Nutrition, I continue to read up on it, and I know what I need to do. Some days, I'm just not motivated to do it, and no one else can make me motivated.

I'd back off. Lashing out does nothing useful.

Thanks. You support my gut feeling.

They all had measurement improvements this week. The weigh in is tomorrow. We did something totally fun instead of break their balls. Tomorrow is another story...their work out will literally kick butt - kick boxing.

Morale seemed to be just fine and the other trainer didn't mention a thing about last week.

I just want them to achieve the success they've invested in. Thanks for your input.