Rhonda--I think the library is an excellent idea. That way you can determine if it is worth the money, but I only paid $15.61 for it onAmazon. I did add something to my order so I wouldn't have to pay shipping.

Finally I was able to get to the condo office and pick up the book today. Their hours are ridiculous like no one has to work. They only have two late days a week and not open on the weekends. Anyways...I hope to start the book this weekend because I still need to finish reading my IE book.

Part One - Inner Compass
Chapter 1 - Are you Really Ready?

Q1. Is there any event that has happened in your life that makes you think you are ready to take charge and change your life?
A1. I realized that I was having problems fitting into 24Ws. Now, it is almost impossible to find clothes over that size for women, esp when you need business clothes ... the only places locally that carry a 26-32W (4X-5X) are Wal-mart and Fashion Bug (UGH!), so I decided to see about this "diet" that my parents had done and had SO much success with. My DS had heard me schedule the appointment to go in and asked my why I wanted to go on a diet, and he said the words that broke my heart ... "Mommy, I think you are beautiful just like you are." I decided to make sure he always felt that way and was never embarrassed of me, and I decided that I was going to stop watching him grow up and participate in his growing up. I was going to get healthy.

Q2. What are your fears, if any, about making such a big commitment to change?
A2. I have been hear before, I have lost a ton of weight, but never reached my goals. I always got close, and quit, got complacent, I guess. Decided to take a break and then gained it all back and more. I want to get there and stay there. I don’t want to quit on me again.

Q3. Are you ready to stop blaming others for your problems?
A3. I don’t really think I blamed anyone else. I think I may have had enablers, but they didn’t do this to me, I did.

Q4. Are you ready to take responsibility for your life?
A4. Honestly … I hope so. I realize that the decisions I make are just that … my decisions, so I hope I am taking responsibility for me, because no one else is going to.

Q5. Can you tell yourself what your goals are?
A5. I have lots of them: to never again wear clothes that have an “X” or a “W” after the number; to be able to play with my son for 30 minutes without needing oxygen; to be able to hike with my son and not be at the back of the pack; to be a “healthy” weight for my bone structure and body type; to see my son graduate, get married, and have children of his own; to look in a mirror and be happy with most of me, because I know I will never be perfect, but isn’t that boring sounding anyway; to have my husband look at me and say I think you are even more beautiful that when I first fell in love with you. I think these are the big ones.

Q6. Can you name three things that help you relax?
A6. 1. Strangely, exercise; 2. Reading; 3. listening to my iPod

Q7. Do you trust the process?
A7. Not yet, but I am not trusting of anything right off the bat. I am though willing to try and with results, trust will be gained.

Q8. Do you trust yourself?
A8. Well, that depends on in regards to what. Do I trust myself to finish what I started … No, not yet, but I have more faith this time around and I think I have more help, I am at a point right now where I have been before and I quit then. I need to get past this hump, and realize that it really is a light at the end of that tunnel, and not the “Kelly Train” for the past.

Q9. Can you suspend disbelief and trust in a Higher Power, God, yourself, or the Universe to help your through this period of change?
A9. Well, I already answered about my self in Q8, so we will go on to “God” do I trust in him … Yes … do I think he will make me thin and healthy … NO. You see God gives up free will, he will give us strength if we ask for and need it, but ultimately, this is me.

Q10. Do you want to treat your body with respect, learn to cherish it, and make it a vessel it was meant to be?
A10. Respect and cherish … YES … still not so sure about the vessel thing yet, will have to ponder that one more.

Well there is Chapter 1 for me. I did it, I started the process, and I will finish it. "I am worth it and I want it all!" :cheer3:

Wow, Kelly. Thanks for sharing. You've helped me to make a decision. Looks like I'll be asking for Bob's book for Mother's Day.

Kelly~
Thanks for sharing! I should have my book in the next few days. I can't wait! I can see answering all these questions is going to be tough, but good for me.

So, I bought the book last night at Target...30% off...$16.00. :yay:

Rhonda--I knew you would find it at a good price and you didn't have to wait until Mother's Day.

I will be posting my Chapter 2 stuff on Wednesday morning.

Part One Chapter Two – Accept Where You Are and Forgive

Me Time – Exercise

Q1. Write down a list of 5 things to do that will give you pleasure, make you feel healthy, or give you comfort.
A1. (1) Read a good book or listen to a good book on audio; (2) Play WII with my son; (3) Get in a “run” on the elliptical; (4) Shop for new clothes that fit and are not in the “Women” section of the store; (5) Be outside with my family

Q2. How long does each of these activities take?
A2. (1) Could be anywhere from 2-6 hours depending on the book, but I usually read, while my DH watches TV, or before bed to calm me down to sleep, while on the recumbent bike or doing the hula hoop, makes the time go by faster, when I am doing exercise that I tend to watch the clock and much more fun that TV, unless Buffy or Angel re-runs are on:); (2) 30 minutes usually makes both of us happy and gives us time doing something that he usually does with my DH that I didn’t do. I don’t really like the PS3 and Xbox 360 type of games, they aren’t for me (except for Tekken). It like the action and the competition of the WII. We (no pun intended) have fun and laugh and play together. (3) 50 minutes right now, which includes my get changed time and get down stairs, as I only get in 45 minutes right now, but I get in my 5K and feel so much better and active afterwards. (4) The way I shop, hours :D, but usually, I get a thrill out of seeing that smaller sizes are fitting me or almost fitting me. (5) Could be as little as 15 minutes to sit quietly on the porch in the evenings and watch the sun go down, to an hour playing with, practicing with, and/or watching Alec play soccer or doing Cub Scout activities. I just enjoy being outside and being active.

Q3. Now look at your schedule. Where can you best fit in any one of these activities during your week? Try to fit in at least 2 activities on at least 2 or 3 days each week.
A3. I usually read everyday, either actual reading, usually before bed or while riding the recumbent bike if that is my exercise for the day, but I also listen to books on CD in my car while I commute. I find it is more relaxing than the radio. We just got the WII, so not sure about that one. Right now, my son is still restricted from video games during the week and only has them on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I will get some time in Friday nights at minimum. As for running on the elliptical, I get 3-4 runs a week, and will continue this program to work up my running time. I usually get to do real clothes shopping only about every other week or when someone is having a really good sale, but I get to Costco at least once a week and since I can now fit into the clothes they sell, I go through their women’s clothes, and have bought a couple tops and 1 pair of Capri jeans too. The last one on my list is usually not quiet time on the porch, we don’t get to do that enough, I need to make time for that as I love to sit out there with my DS in my lap snuggling and just breath (he loves it too). This is the one I will have to work to schedule in to do more. I plan on doing this tonight before bed with my DS (DH is working a 24 hour shift). I will also plan on every Friday night getting quiet time on the porch in.

Q4. Commit to this newly scheduled activity for 2 weeks and see how it feels.
A4. I will let you know in 2 weeks if I kept the activities up :)

The part of chapter 2 that really spoke to me is on page 30 in the Body Obsession box.

"Psychiatrists call this disorder body dysmorphic disorder, and it is often associated with people suffering from eating disorders such as binge eating, bulimia, and anorexia. Ironically, body dysmorphia is similar to the detachment that many overweight people have -- just in an inverse way. Their attachment ot their bodies is so distorted that they can no longer see the person standing in the mirror's reflection. LIke wearing glasses, they have become unable to see straight. I mention this situation here because I think it is relevant to how important it is to maintain a healthy connection to your body and what truly being honest really means."

This really spoke to me bc I'm one of those people always surprised by photos I'm in. And it's not like I don't have a ton of mirrors at home. I don't "see" me in the mirrors, I "see" what I think I look like or somethign. I know, I should just post pix of myself around the house. But I was taking a photo of something on our driveway last week, and the sun was behind me casting my shadow on the driveway. I was literally SHOCKED to see the BLOB on the driveway with a little head. But it was realistic. I think so many of us are probably totally disconnected from our reality.

Isn't it suprising that unlike the extreme eating disorders, people don't see the mental aspects of trying to battle weight, not even many of those that are supposed weight loss experts.

I love this book, because it isn't so much about the physical aspect of losing the weight, which gets covered in the back, but about the mental side.

I think Jillian said it in the last season when she had her mother on, that if you don't figure out and deal with the reason why you got here, you will never keep it off.

That has been me, I lose weight and then go right back to where I was plus 10-20 lbs. I never reach my goal, just get close. I plan on changing that this time around.

Me too Kelly, me too. Totally agree with what Jillian said - like if we don't realize we're using food as a reward and entertainment, and replace it with a new thing to give us joy (like exercise endorphins or shopping in our closets), we will be drawn right back to it again, when the "fun" of losing weight passes by.

I like the book too! I will take issue with 2 things tho, in the beginning he is talking about a client who "if she didn't wear her mask at night, would die!" OK, that's a little overkill. My husband and dd had apnea, you don't DIE from not wearing your mask one nite. So I lost a little respect on that drama.

Then, later on, maybe chapter 7/8, he says, "and watch that fat turn to muscle." Uh uh, doesn't happen. Fat doesn't turn to muscle. I know what he means - that you will eventually have more muscle and less fat, but fat cannot turn to muscle just like muscle cannot turn to fat. It's two different things. I just wish as a trainer he would be more precise and not multiply those bad inaccurate sayings, kwim?

I agree with you Sportmom. I have actually found several typos and such in the book, so whoever was his editor, needs to be shot.

I will be doing my next chapter on Friday.

Is anyone else out there doing this too?

LOL Kelly, I think we're it!

I've just started it. I'm at the point where I need to look in the mirror and accept myself....I'm finding it difficult to work up the nerve!