Yesterday DD picked out a nice pumpkin and I got a butternut squash for baking, at a little roadside stand. Then on to get coffee at her favorite local place which was a mistake- big backlog in orders and I was getting rattled as my BIL was due any minute. They need to work on a better flow on the weekends. Home to drop DD off to visit with BIL, then off to get bagels where everything was much more efficient, then a nice visit with BIL. He is DH's younger brother who has been very supportive of us since DH's death, and his face is so much like my MIL; its just lovely to have him here. Quick visit then off he went, and the day passed with some relaxing. I spent a lot of time researching things in Aruba for our upcoming trip; I want to be well prepared this time around. Food was so so.I did indulge in a cookie since it was there, I've been sliding back into sugar. DD wants to go to a favorite ice cream stand before it closes for the year today so i'll have to manuever that one.
A non food treat is the library is having its book sale which I may pop out to. As others have mentioned, there is a limit to how many books you can own, but sometimes I find a favorite book I read many times over.
Gardenerjoy- Jane Austen at Christmas sounds very fun. That reminds me to buy a Christmasy book for myself as a Christmas present-maybe that will be the one this year.
Maryann-good point about why fights happen among folks who live together. Good for you for stretching the comfort zone to host.
Bill-ooh that parade looks fun, even in damp weather. Kids make the holidays so fun.
I'm off to eat a frog in looking at my financial stuff right now and making a plan for the day.

Today's challenge is navigating some disappointment about a financial advisor who has thus far been unimpressive in spite of a good reputation that demanded a substantial fee. DH tends to get angry. I tend to get fearful of confrontation. I'm hoping that things iron themselves out and get better, but we'll see.

None of these feelings will be improved by food. Instead, I'll try to get other ducks in a row for different projects. Then, I'll be more prepared to focus on finances when those things get ironed out.

Exercise: 60, 725/1800 minutes for October

Good Morning, Coaches.

Yesterday I had a ball of anxiety knotted in my chest. My experience is it is not necessarily event based but an accumulation of issues. I had prepped the house for hosting but the communication between DH and i was not good. I took some stabs at getting some support from him. It is not in his wheel house to help with these situations. In AA we call this " going to a hardware store to get eggs." So rather than head down a nasty path of fighting, I simply called the couple and asked for a raincheck. Then I drove down to Mom's to watch football and baseball. I love watching professional sports and DH hates it. I made some calls to like minded women on the hour drive to Mom's and was given the sage advice: Getting verbal validation from my husband is a want, not a need. Oh ok. I get my needs met by DH - loyalty, work ethic, financial security, companionship, loving actions. This morning I did not need a post mortem. I just let it go. DH added a few nice validating comments that he never would have said if I had tried to drag it out of him. It is all good.

EXCEPT. . . Mom and I ordered Baskin and Robbins Ice Cream Sundaes from Door Dash. In the end I was about 1700 calories over last night. CHATGPT says I can eat 200 calories less a day and walk 45 mins for a total of 3 days to counteract. I can do that.

Joy: I hear about a great program from our county library called ZIP. If our library sdoesnt have a title I want, I can order it from Amazon, library pays for it but they send it to me. I bring it to the library when I am done. WOW!!!!!!!
BBE: I have not heard of that card game. I love it.
Curly: How wonderful tat BIL is still active in your life.

Thanks to my Coaches on Canadian Thanksgiving Monday
 

Happy Thanksgiving to all my Coaches! I am always grateful for your continuing presence and participation on this discussion board.

Today I’m cooking a small prime rib roast with mashed potatoes and frozen baby vegetables. I have everything to make an apple pie but I’m not sure that I will. Dinner is just for DH and me. He loves an apple pie but I have another task that’s more important and health supportive.

In the LifestyleRX program they emphasize “Not Perfect but Better”. They always want us to ask ourselves how did we do? Did we do better? How can we do better? Etc. So as I was doing my week 4 homework “Start Your Engine” which is primarily about exercise, I couldn’t brush off the fact that I don’t have room to exercise. I haven’t followed through with the living room clean up. The floor is still full of boxes and bins and the room is lined with stacks of bins and boxes (smaller than what’s on the floor). Ideally I would open these bins and boxes, sort, consolidate, label and then find where I am putting it. For today, my primary goal is to create floorspace for exercising. This requires me to do a rudimentary assessment of the contents, taking care of the easy stuff only and then putting the lid on it and calling it done. In this way I can tidy up the look of the bins and I can build a wall of them on the edge of the living room, which is the outside edge of the office space too. I don’t have to be perfect about it today. But I do need to make the room functional.

As usual I’m checking in here to commit my plan to you guys who care. I’ll update later.

In other things that feel as hard as this decluttering issue, I too have had a scale that is just bouncing around. 321-323. You would think a body would want to let go of weight at 323lbs. It’s the same when I was 274 and 249 and 220 and 200. All set points it seems. I believe it is still salt and fluid retention bouncing me around. I am glad to be bouncing at 320ish vs 325 ish which I did a few weeks ago. Just stay the course. I am eating and choosing better. I am consciously trying to do better daily. Clearing the space allows me to exercise to add the next component that will help my body heal and regain its pep. I’m missing my pep.

Will check in later.

update list of accomplishments
closed the kitchen at 7
ate on plan food from scratch made at home
no sugar
no snacks things
drank enough water today
emptied 5 boxes and a bin
added stuff to other bins but totals bins and boxes are less = this is BETTER than before
made enough living room space for exercise
did not finish but I will tomorrow

Tuesday - Arthur Conan Doyle "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" (1892)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Extra treat: the (10 yo) DGD was dropped off at our house for dinner so her parents could attend a celebration of life for a dear friend. Despite the chilly weather and the continuous rain, the DGD arrived with no hat, coat, or boots. "Not cool," DD reminded us when I asked why. So reminded me of sending my own two out of the house without any outer gear because they just didn't wanna.

Dinner included meatballs that came in a tray of six marked "4 and 1/2 servings." "How many meatballs in each serving?" I asked the DGD. Long struggle, lots of attempts with a pencil. Then I told her the answer was 1 1/3 causing she and I to set out to demonstrate that on her drawing. Uber fun to demonstrate 4 1/2 servings on a diagram - we did! She wisely chipped in that 2 meatballs per serving was just right so we proceeded with dinner. Special was a single serving of chocolate something something cake from Whole Foods split 3 ways. Yummy. A third of a piece of cake is just the right amount to get the feeling of dessert without breaking the calorie bank.

Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi. Extra CREDIT moi for only eating one meatball with dinner (leaving one for a lunch) to support my effort to trim portion sizes as we head toward the holiday season. At dinner we learned that she had no desire to learn cursive writing, did want to learn sign language and got really excited when I showed her the six toddler signs that mothers can use with their pre-verbal toddlers. Hope I got them right since she's already memorized them. Wish I'd known about those when raising ours.


onebyone - Such great emphasis, “Not Perfect but Better”. Reducing the number of bins and boxes is a measurable accomplishment.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Good luck working out the financial advisor relationship. I have a love/hate relationship even in the best of times.

maryann – Super Kudos for seeing "I did not need a post mortem." I'll ponder on that to see if I can use it.

curlyjax – A butternut squash from a roadside stand just tastes better. So neat that your BIL is part of your life - even neater that looking like your MIL is positive for you.

Readers -

Yesterday In the morning I looked up more financial things in prep for meeting with my advisor on thursday. There's something else my accountant told me to do but I need find the scrap of paper I wrote it on first. Then I jumped out of bed to make cabbage soup, then boiled eggs and jasmine rice to be used in various ways.An emotional phone call with an agency that is investigating our concerns for my disabled brother's housing situation, then an outing with DD. I ended up getting a few fall themed items at Kohls for fun. DD wanted to get ice cream at a stand that was closing but it was already closed by the time we got there, and the back up place was too, so home without it. I was tired and hyped up for ice cream so I finished off a bit we had at home plus a chocolate chip cookie, berating myself for emotional eating. Later on DD and I got into yet another argument-t's been too much together time!! I am less lonely with her there, but there are huge downsides as well. I am ready to get back to work today for sure.
Maryann-great job figuring out how to circumvent a fight. that ZIP thing sounds very cool. Want vs need is a good concept-DD tends to mix those up;)
Gardenerjoy-good idea to focus on other projects first.
Bill-Nice to have DD pop in. I wish I had done signs with my babies too, I wasn't paying attention to it at the time.
Onebyone-excellent job making room enough to exercise. I have the same problem- the tv room is packed with things that need to be decluttered, and the living room has DD stuff in it, so I'm not motivated to find room to put my rug down to stretch, which I really need to do.

Good Morning, Coaches.
Yesterday was OP. No exercise. Today is weight training. I am going on the treadmill afterward for 30 mins. I didn't do that last week.

Big news: God said let there be light!!!!! https://ibb.co/qz14sp1

onebyone: Thanks for reminding me about water. I need to drink more!!!!!

Tuesday October 14 in the year 2025 CE
 

Coaches

I am reporting a scale reading 320.4. 3lbs went poof :wizard: in 24hrs. The wonders of the human body.

Right now I’m trying to unclog the kitchen sink. DH tried with no name brand drain cleaner yesterday and nothing happened. I googled and found PantheOrganizer on YouTube and now I’m following his instructions using boiling water, baking soda and vinegar. I have a double sink so I put the stopper in on one side. There was standing water and DH cleared that out. Ok just did the final step. Some gunk is loose now but it’s still clogged. There might be something else to do, but if not, I’m removing the standing water and beginning again. My guess is this will take 3x. Maybe more.

Workwise, today I am focused on tidying up once again. I’m happy to see that open space on the floor is still there. Yay. I’m going to go and check in later. At 4 today I have my second zoom dr appointment with LifestyleRX. We’ll see how that goes.

Today's adventure was a visit with Dear Brother. That now includes both a talkative time in the hot tub and a much more quiet time over a chess board. It was fun! It also makes an easy day for navigating food. I tend to be less hungry and I definitely have less of the day available to make food choices.

The thing with the financial adviser improved yesterday. An apology is always a good move when warranted.

Exercise: 60, 785/1800 minutes for October

Wednesday - 1st ballet, commissioned by Catherine de Medici, staged in Paris (1581)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - The class on linguistics covered phonetics. Bad class for me. I'm one of those who do not say, or hear, clearly distinguished 'pin' vs. 'pen'. There's a list of them. I fail them all. I'm like an AM radio speaker. If you know what I'm saying then that's what you'll hear. Was intellectually interesting to know about glottal stops and fricative sounds. Know that I use them. Looked over The Articulatory System diagrams. Will go back to grunting my way through life.

Agreed that DW could put our brand new, just read, copy of A Farewell to Arms in a nearby curbside library for the next reader. One book is a small start but even so it wakens all of my not wanting to let any book go feelings.

Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, with snacks. Dinner was baked cod fish, delicata squash, and green salad. Both of us ate in our own offices while on different Zoom meetings. Mine was a working meeting that was particularly productive. I feel better donating my time to an organization when I'm contributing instead of just nodding my head.


onebyone - Good luck with that sink. Drains are just supposed to work with nary a thought. Congrats of those three pound 'poofed' away.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Good news that your financial advisor is back on board. Like to believe that your DBHTT sessions might be solving one of the world's problems.

maryann – Great lights! I'm also struck by the elegant height of the ceiling and quality of the woodwork.

curlyjax – What a physically active person, "I jumped out of bed." Good luck collecting financial stuff. Coincidently, I have an appointment with our advisor on Thursday, also.

Readers -

It was really good to get out of the house and back to work. I spent another 90 minutes on the phone to Eversource with a client-this time we succeeded in getting through to the correct person and got everything done. I went to my workout class and it was just my colleague and I which was fun. Dinner was protein powder drink-you're supposed to have some protein within an hour of working out I think- and then two bowls of my cabbage soup, supplemented with chic peas and brown rice. Lots of liquid at night does mean I wake up more frequently to pee but its all good. I'm so tired after my workout and shower I have to chill for a bit, then I get enough energy to make it through the rest of the evening. I had gone to the library over the weekend so have books to read, and it's so cosy to read in bed for a half an hour before sleep,
Onebyone-yay for poof indeed. That's what I do to unclog my sinks too.
Maryann-those are so beautiful, great job! And I echo what Bill says about the woodwork. Thanks for sharing photos, its so fun to see it all develop.
Gardenerjoy- sounds like a relaxing day.
Bill-sounds like a fascinating class. Interesting about the pin and pen thing.

Good Morning,

I report a mix of credits and "Oh Well."
1. I started Chapter 6 "Mating Patterns" in Chess for Dummies. I thought of Joy and her DB . . . but I watched 6 hours of tv at the end of the evening.
2. I added the climbing stairs for a half hour after weight training . . . but engaged in minor, late night kitchen "extra."
3. Finished laundry . . . Oh I don't have an "Oh Well" so the day is declared a success :carrot:

Today is packing day for Madrid. I have been tv until DH comes home when we will watch one movie. I am going to the library to buy a used book of some sort to read on the plane.

onebyone: Love that you can still see the open space.
BBE: I was thinking about language and articulation. It has such a powerful effect of first impressions. The most vulnerable of our society our often the victims of snap decisions.
Curly: I love that your job is to help elderly navigate the system.

A house may be calling us. I've been keeping an eye this one since it was COMING SOON on realtor.com. Other houses that I liked less already sold in that time.

It's less than 10 minutes from Dear Nephew's new house, has a floor plan that looks workable, and is priced in a way that we can spend some money to make it work better. The basement is completely unfinished so that's a blank slate.

Yesterday, DH worked out exactly how the financial mechanics would work to buy a house. On Monday, I researched realtors, so I know exactly who I want to call.

In the late afternoon yesterday, the listing for this particular house announced an Open House for Sunday. DH and I agreed that we would go after the soccer game. A couple of hours later, they added a second Open House for Thursday at 4pm -- right when we finish watching the kids, making it even more convenient and quicker.

I want to channel excitement into action items, not food (like sometimes happens). I've got a nice list, including calling that realtor and some organizational tasks in my office to set me up well for what may be a busy rest of the week.

The last 24 hours have given me a lot of linguistics. I'm currently reading Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver for our book club meeting on Thursday. That, alongside maryann's comment about language and first impressions, reminded me of an experience in my first days as an academic librarian. I already did the work to train my brain to believe that all the skin colors belonged on a college campus. But I realized that further brain rewiring was needed because I assumed that certain nonstandard English conveyed that a person was a visitor, not a student. This happened with both AAVE and rural white English.

I just skimmed the Wikipedia article about AAVE. The current theory is that AAVE and rural English are both closer to 17th and 18th century British English than American Standard English is now. The rest of the article would take more time and energy than I have right now to understand -- there is a lot to linguistic theory!

Also, if any of you run across a middle school student who attempts to annoy adults with the phrase '6-7',

this video

this video

has the explanation. Again, the video contains way more linguistic studies than most of us are familiar with. According to the comments, an effective way to cure a child of this behavior is to reveal that the adult knows more about it than the kid, robbing it of its coolness factor.

Exercise: 60, 785/1800 minutes for October

BillBlueEyes: I thought the inability to distinguish 'pin' and 'pen' was a Midwestern thing (turns out it also happens AAVE). I knew someone from the east coast who claimed that she could distinguish 'marry', 'merry', and 'Mary.' It made my head hurt trying.

onebyone: Good luck with the sink! Your tidying up inspired me to look around and realize that I need some of that energy to put myself in a good place to handle the next few days, weeks, and months.

maryann: Beautiful lights! They fit so well in that space.

curlyjax: Yay for success with bureaucracy -- especially for a client. The nearly private workout session sounds fun!

Sink update and more!
 

Coaches

The sink is still clogged. I tried 3x with baking soda and vinegar. DH said he’s ordered goop from Amazon for the sink and it came today. Did it twice. Result? Still clogged. DH says more stuff coming tomorrow. Oh well.

DH and I had a very rare bad night with heavy emotions expressed about heavy relationship issues. We are very careful with each other. I was so upset I left the house and drove to the parking lot of my community centre to make a tearful phone call to my Ottawa older sister who does not judge things. She said hello and I just sobbed. After talking I was calmer and able to immediately address our issue head on. DH finds it extremely painful to express emotions that are painful. I approached things well and we have started to sort things out but, sadly, there is now a question mark in the air about our relationship. We’ve been together since 1991. I will take an NSV here in that I did not turn to food for emotional support. Such a big win. I didn’t turn to food today either, even though I felt off-kilter all day. Still feel teary but it’s not overwhelming. I’m just trying to figure things out.

So. Scale today a magnificent 318.4! :bravo: Blood sugar upon waking was one of the lowest readings I’ve had too: 8.1 on my meter. Things are happening inside me physically that are good.

The zoom visit with the LifestyleRX Dr. S was eye opening. The purpose of the call was to specifically go over my September blood work numbers especially those related to the Oxford Insulin Resistance Protocol. What this measures is the degree to which a person is insulin resistant and the blood work can also show where/how my T2diabetes has developed. I was amazed to see that I am 6.67x more insulin resistant than the norm. She said in addition my T2D doesn’t come from a malfunctioning pancreas. My pancreas is releasing 2.5x the insulin it should be so it’s functioning in overdrive. But being 6.67x insulin resistant, my cells don’t even see that insulin floating around so they don’t let it in to bring the glucose down. This completely explains to me why I can hold such a high weight and why I gain weight so easily. So the cause of my T2D is my fatty liver. She said it’s really inflamed and clogged, as are all areas of the body where my fat is stashed. The number that describes my level of fatty liver is 99.9% of 100.

So inspite of this, someone such as I can expect to completely reverse the diabetes and the fatty liver by… losing weight.Yeah we are back to that old saw.
So, she said, three things are key for me: eating whole foods not fast food not UPCs. Exercise daily both aerobic and resistance training. And fasting overnight for no more than 16 hrs with a minimum of 12 daily.

I’ve been doing the food and the fasting and will now add the exercise as Dr.S says I have to burn off the fat in my liver and everywhere else. As I lose weight all things will improve.
NSV Knowing I am not a lost cause.

What this also made clear to me was the connection between the immunotherapy and developing the T2D. The infusion drugs inflame my liver in addition to the existing inflammation from the fatty liver. It was one thing too many for my liver though it’s still functioning ok I am so so grateful to have this chance to bring me back to full health.

Tomorrow I’m home so more time to spend opening up the living room space.

Maryann: Bon Voyage! Your photo down the hallway looks spectacular. The house is really solid.
gardenerjoy: that’s exciting about seeing a new house! Kudos for laying the groundwork in advance in case this is the one. Good luck!
curlyjax: I loved reading that after your workout you’re really tired but after you rest your energy comes back. Wow. That’s a real win. Your body is adapting to the exercise. I hope to one day say that too.
Billblueeyes: Thanks for clueing me in to The Articulatory (what a word!) System. I’m definitely reading that article. My intuition says there is some Art Inspiration in there for me,

:wave:

Thursday - Jadwiga crowned King of Poland at the age 9, despite being female (1384)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies - Picked up the (10 yo) DGD from Fourth Grade. She, as well as all the other kids, didn't want to run out over the grass field because of a flock of some 20 Canada Geese. Poop central. The school had installed fake coyotes but the kids had dismantled them over time. A fake coyote may scare a goose but it's no match for a grade-school boy running full speed.

She demonstrated all the signs used in toddler ASL - one look at the chart that I'd sent her is all it took to know them. She did her homework immediately when arriving home; I was impressed. I don't remember when I did my homework but immediately after school was paper-route time. Having both grands standing by to give support does make it easier.

Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, with snacks. Dinner was chicken cooked inside since the weather didn't make using the outdoor grill inviting. Foods continue to be mixed as DW continues to try to figure out her GI issues. She seems to be headed toward a diet of gruel or maybe the BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, and Toast). She has her appointment with an gastroenterologist today; hope something is learned.


onebyone - Such good news that your LifestyleRX doctor can make your blood numbers make sense to you. Congrats to your liver for continuing to work despite the handicap. I wish you and your DH well working on relationship stuff - 34 years is a long time together.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Great news about a potential house coming to market. I do like the notion of some head room to make the adjustments to make it fit your needs. Thanks for the heads up about '6 7' - haven't heard it yet.

maryann – Bon Voyage to Madrid. I'm psyched. Great day that didn't need a single "Oh Well".

curlyjax – So glad that you defeated Eversource's attempt to provide no service whatsoever. I'm not a fan. Fortunately their gas and electricity usually flow without discussion. Yay for a cosy book.

Readers -