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-   -   Beck Diet For Life/Solution – May 2021 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution/323091-beck-diet-life-solution-%96-may-2021-%96-support-discussion-buddy-coach.html)

curlyjax 05-11-2021 07:01 AM

I have ordered a new coffeemaker so my first world problem will be solved. One of these days i'll get a better one but for now all i need is a cheap small one. Training continues at the agency which is exhausting as it includes a longer commute. Yesterday I did push myself to go for a walk after and get my weights done, and then it was 7:30 when I finally ate dinner. Fortunately in the new job I will be closer to home. Credit for bringing enough healthy foods that I was able to push thru and wait until dinner. It was awesome to have part 2 of the lasagna plus some salad.
Maryann-so sorry about that student, how awful.
Karen-I forget if you have planned another trip soon.
Gardenerjoy-yikes about MIL, good luck with the plan. I cannot believe insurance rules.
Bill-too funny about all the responses, that sounds unending. Hope we get a better stretch of weather, feels like there has been a lot of grey recently.

gardenerjoy 05-11-2021 09:06 AM

MiL looks horrible -- two black eyes with one nearly swollen shut. But she was feeling gradually better through the day and in reasonably good spirits, all things considered. The doctor is most concerned about the BP -- so he upped her meds, requested that she check it twice a day, and scheduled an in-person appointment next week.

I'm going to take credit for walking past the bakery in the grocery store without a temptation to look at cake. My birthday is tomorrow and I always seem to be on the lookout during that week.

What made the difference, oddly, was to make a firm plan to have cake on my birthday. Or, rather, cakes. Very tiny ones. I found a place that prepares boxed Afternoon Tea at home. We won't get the three-tiered silver tray, but we will get the sandwiches, scones, and tiny cakes.

I realized recently that Afternoon Tea is my ideal party meal.

I'm finding several advantages to the idea of having it at home.

We can eat it at 11:30am and call it lunch. I can't drink tea after noon if I want to sleep at night. Also, the traditional tea is way too many calories for a snack -- it needs to replace a meal. So, the traditional Afternoon Tea time of 4pm, makes no sense in my life.

Tea for Two is too much food for the two of us. But one order wouldn't be quite enough. By eating at home, there's no pressure to eat it all in one sitting or even one day. I looked up on the internet how to store scones, so we can split a scone and have the second one a day or two later. The cakes will be fine for a day or two as well.

So, with that plan firmly in mind, I wasn't on the lookout for sweets yesterday. CREDIT!

Exercise +45, 425/1400 minutes for May

maryann 05-11-2021 09:46 AM


My student died yesterday. From the little I know he was placed on life support and then died yesterday afternoon. The staff was called to gym to be told that we were forbidden to talk about it. Something about the family not allowing us to process it with the kids. We couldn't even mention the name of the boy. Only the four of us who had him were told. I wasn't there in the meeting because I started crying just before and couldn't stop. The head counselor said I couldn't cry and lead me to her office. I guess there is a crying police. I went to my first period and there was a sub for my class. I went to my vp who was nice.. I told her I would like to make it through the end of the day. I made it through classes, left at lunch and prep, drove down to the boys sobbing all the while.

I couldn't talk about it with my students but rumors were rampant. Apparently he shot himself on facetime with his girlfriend. I don't know. I looked at his seat all day. He is gone. He is not coming back. I thought about taking the rest of the year off. I actually forgot I had a counselor appt yesterday. Serendipity. I have been embarrassed about crying so much. This thing is not about me and I don't want to draw attention to myself. She asked who would not cry with a 16 year old boy gone.

Thank you for letting me post about this. It has never happened in 30 years of teaching. I have lost students to accidents but never this.

karenrn 05-11-2021 05:41 PM

Good morning coaches,

I had some off plan snacks yesterday and couldn't bring myself to get on the scale this morning. Besides that I was in a rush to get out the door by 5:30 to meet the hiking group. We went to Payson, which is maybe 75 miles northeast and higher elevation. There are several unvaccinated people so I decided to drive myself, but then a couple of gals asked to join me. One of them had PTSD from a dog bite and wanted to tell us every detail. She needs to see a therapist as she is obviously very traumatized and has quite a scar on her face. I finally had to ask to change the subject because it was making me so anxious. The other gal thanked me later. The hike was 8 miles and beautiful through the woods next to a stream.

Maryann I am so sorry. I can't imagine being able to hold it together at all. What a horrible thing to try to process and not be able to talk about it. I can't imagine how the students will be able to handle it. Sending supportive thoughts your way

GardenerJoy It sounds like you have a good plan for your birthday. Happy Birthday tomorrow! I hope mil's bp gets better soon. She was definitely in the stroke area. I can't believe they wouldn't hospitalize her and get her bp under control with as high as it was.

Curlyjax No out of town things again until at the end of the month and it's just a hike a few hours away. When do you actually start the new job where you will be closer to home?

Bill The conductor's job sounds like it could be pretty busy.

Well I'd better get moving and get in the shower. Maybe I can be spiffed up before dh comes home from work.

BillBlueEyes 05-12-2021 04:43 AM

Wednesday- Founder of modern nursing Florence Nightingale born (1820, Florence Italy)
Diet Coaches/Buddies - The plumber had a cancellation so I was moved forward by a full day to his 7:30 appointment. Great for me - I'm wide awake and ready to go. The "simple leak" in the shower valve was solved by replacing the shower valve and the diverter valve. The much simpler leak in the vanity faucet required a new set of faucets. Seems that our city has notoriously hard water; it keeps the plumbers in business constantly replacing items that have become too gummed up to continue using. He had one model on his truck; I could take that or he'd be glad to go back to his shop and get a different model. Glad to drive back to his shop while I was paying him $145 per hour. Even I could calculate that the fastest solution was to immediately admire the model he offered, "Just what I wanted," I lied with thoughts of dollars flowing out the window.

Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. I had to heat my own (already prepared) dinner and eat alone; DW had back-to-back Zoom meetings from 5-7 pm. I made a salad for her and interrupted her Zooming to deliver it when I got around to my own dinner - which wasn't at 5 pm.

Excitement was replacing the 8" circular florescent bulb in my desktop magnifier lamp that had ingloriously burned out with a new LED version. The LED version is predicted to last dozens of years. Maybe hundreds. I've replaced many a burned-out bulb with a few hundred years left in its predicted lifetime. One more time I had to choose between four stages of 'temperature' - warm to cold. I chose cool; this lamp is for seeing stuff, not for a warm tone. Just not used to choosing bulb 'temperature' every time I buy a new one.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Love your discovery of Afternoon Tea. And Kudos for working out in your head how to avoid that bakery. Continue to send supportive thoughts for your MIL.

maryann - So sorry to hear about the death of your student and for the bizarre restriction on dealing with it with your students. Hope they allow you to support your students who are exchanging the rumors - of course the kids know.

Karen (karenrn) - Ouch for your friend's anxiety about her dog bite. You are wise to try to get her to see a therapist.

curlyjax - Yay for the joy of having part 2 of a lasagna. Congrats for getting a new coffee maker.

Readers -

Success Skill 4 Give Yourself Credit

what to do ...

To give yourself credit, do the following: . . .

4. Give yourself credit every time you check off an item on your Stage 1 Success Skills Sheet.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 68.

curlyjax 05-12-2021 07:04 AM

Food was mostly OP. I ended up resting in my car instead of walking a little during lunch. I'm spending way more time sitting down in front of a screen which I don't like, but its temporary. I'll be glad when this is over, it gets frustrating at times and I was panicking doing some computer stuff yesterday. But I didn't eat over it, I avoided the vending machine. I went home and sorted out which winter tire goes with which car, with the help of DS who kindly loaded them in for me, in prep for appt tomorrow, and I bought gas for the mower which I get a little panicky about as well because gas scares me since its so combustible. So a bunch of things done.
Maryann_I'm so sorry, that is so awful. how ridiculous to be told you can't cry. Sending hugs your way.
Gardenerjoy-happy birthday. The prepared tea sounds wonderful.
Karen-that's the question, when WILL I start the new job:) The state slowed things up, I think it will be June 7, or possibly the week before.
Bill-yay for saving money on a plumber, boy do they charge a lot!

gardenerjoy 05-12-2021 10:24 AM

Looking forward to celebrating my birthday with all the fixings for English tea and none of the formality!

Otherwise, it will be a quiet and reflective day with perfect weather for a walk!

Exercise +50, 510/1400 minutes for May

maryann: So sorry about this situation. None of that seems right.

karenrn 05-12-2021 01:49 PM

Good morning coaches,

Food was on plan yesterday and weight is not at the lowest, but still in the 140's. I hiked Tom's Thumb early this morning with an acquaintance from New York. We met at my house at 5 a.m. which was fine with her since she just arrived yesterday and is still on east coast time. I've walked Otis and have a dentist appointment at 2 for teeth cleaning. Otherwise an easy day.

GardenerJoy Happy Birthday to You! Enjoy your tea and walk today.
Curlyjax I'm sure it's nice to have help from ds. Good for you to avoid overeating and the vending machine.
Bill If I had to spend time with the gal that rode with me yesterday, I'd need therapy too. There are some very nice people in the group, I guess the lesson is in learning who to steer clear of. I hope the faucet set that the plumber had with him was okay. I sure wouldn't want to pay him to drive to get others either.
Maryann Continued supportive thoughts are heading your way. Very tough situation.

Well, I guess it's time to get cleaned up for the day. I'm glad to have an easy one.

BillBlueEyes 05-13-2021 06:23 AM

Thursday - International Hummus Day (since 2012, by Ben Lang from Israel)
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Exercise was chase the (5.5 yo) DGD day, CREDIT moi. Resistance exercise came from boosting her up into a tree that she calls her "house". At fifty pounds she's getting to be a handful. For a solid hour she climbed about the lower branches; came down to collect twigs and leaves to make a meal; went back up to do stuff. "I have several porches," she explained as she moved from branch to branch. One solid hour without a single man-made item as part of her playing. It could have been 100 years ago.

Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi. The only daytime snack was to finish her leftover grapes (planned) while driving home after dropping her off. Dinner was a frozen chicken concoction with veggies, including edamame, from Trader Joe's that we've had before that might make it into our regular rotation since it serves us well for nights that DW has no time. There were enough veggies that she didn't make any additional - although she did produce some brown rice from somewhere. I made my standard large green salad.

Joy (gardenerjoy) - Happy Birthday! May you have 39 more and 39 more after that. Love the notion that you had "English tea" to celebrate.

maryann - Waving. Continue to send supportive thoughts for you and all those touched by the kid in your class.

Karen (karenrn) - Read your post, "I've walked Otis and have a dentist appointment at 2 for teeth cleaning" and debated which of you were having your teeth cleaned. Then decided to start a business for busy people where I clean their teeth and their pet's teeth at the same time (with different hygienists, of course, using different instruments, of course, and separate autoclaves, of course). Then realized that COVID isolation has allowed my remaining mental ability to just wander off track, LOL.

curlyjax - Kudos for "But I didn't eat over it." Yep, vending machines are evil.

Readers -

Success Skill 4 Give Yourself Credit

what to do ...

Some dieters say it feels unnatural to give themselves credit. Continual practice makes a behavior feel more natural. So try to notice every single thing you do right. Even at this point, before you have finished State 1, you deserve credit every time you:. . .
  • Read (or reread) this book.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 68.

curlyjax 05-13-2021 06:50 AM

I was very hungry and I did succumb to the evil vending machine in the afternoon. I think I need to bring one more snack to get me through. But I took a short walk at lunch and a 20 minute one after work as well.Last night I was hungry at 9 and craving popcorn, but I used my resistance muscle.
I also found out I will start the new job in 2 weeks, so it will be very busy until then, with training, preparing for the new job and still keeping an eye o the old one. Today thank goodness I'm working from home doing a webinar- but also balancing having the frig delivered and bringing the car to the mechanic. Whee! I am really looking forward to this weekend!
Bill-I think people would sign up for your duo dentist idea! I keep forgetting how old DGD is, I think of her as 4. Sounds like another nice day with her.
Gardenerjoy-hope you had a great birthday! How nice to have a May birthday.
Karen-great that your weight is in the 140s. Nice to have an easy day.

karenrn 05-13-2021 12:29 PM

Good morning coaches,

Food was on plan yesterday and weight is at it's lowest again. Now I just need to remember that if I want it to keep heading in that direction I need to stay the course, not have some sweet treats. I can fit back into my smaller hiking shorts. I do have even smaller ones, but that may come in the next few months. I am not feeling very hungry even after a really low calorie breakfast hours ago. I love it when I don't feel at all hungry. Actually I feel great and I think it's cause the hike was just the right length, not grueling, but enough.

It was a new hike suggested by a gal in the hiking group. It's in an area that Amy and I hike, but we haven't done that trail. I think I may have done it years ago. The good news is that it is almost all in the shade, which in Phoenix near summer is perfect. We started before 6 and finished by 8 and it was 80, so shade was good. It had a good climb, but was not too long. I don't have anything else on the calendar until I meet to discuss our High Sierra Trail backpacking trip at dinner time.
The dentist was good yesterday (for me). We have been using a product in Otis's water called Dental Formula and I swear it has helped his teeth. It says it controls plaque and after using it a few months, I believe it does. It is pricey, but less than having his teeth cleaned. I need to order some more.

Curlyjax It will be so nice to have the new fridge. Great to have a start date for the new job.
Bill Dgd does the kind of things I did as a kid, almost 100 years ago but not quite. It's so nice that she can use her imagination to entertain herself.
GardenerJoy I hope you thoroughly enjoyed your birthday.
Maryann You continue to be in my thoughts. I hope you are holding up.

maryann 05-13-2021 03:05 PM

Good afternoon, Coaches.

Grief happens in waves. I manage to rev up for the classes showing both gratefulness to see them and the smiles tinged with sadness. We have played more games, had less homework. Studying the Cold War I have shown a few twilight zones that are perfect for it.

I put together a self care plan using Pixar’s Inside Out. Various reactions

i am down but walking though it. Food is cleanish.

BillBlueEyes 05-14-2021 06:09 AM

Friday - Country doctor Edward Jenner inoculates against smallpox (1796, Berkeley)
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Quick trip to the local hardware store for a specific 1/2" black pipe, plug. A small part from a list of several dozen small parts of equal general interest. I had to sort out the jumbled plastic-wrapped parts until I found exactly the one I needed - in the wrong bin. In its bin had been the 3/4" plug which clearly wouldn't do. Was so happy! Came home, inserted the plug using the plumbers' tape that I own AND THAT I FOUND and moved on. Every now and then I feel competent.

Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. Dinner was broiled cod fish - a favorite because it makes me feel like a true New Englander. I had my Cosmic Crisp Apple for evening snack while Zoom watching a New England Aquarium special featuring the photographer Brian Skerry, The Hidden Culture of Whales. Skerry has a new book, Secrets of the Whales, worth mentioning just for the link to the picture on the cover. Close up pictures of whales always melt my heart. Perhaps my next career should be a whale photographer. Unfortunately, it's hard work; he mentioned that he took some 150 thousand pictures for a recent 17 picture story in National Geographic.

maryann - Kudos for "but walking though it" - you have such a huge responsibility to lead your kids forward.

Karen (karenrn) - Yay for another low weight. Looked up Petlab Dental Formula; it's safe for cats and dogs, and everyday use - but didn't mention humans. Think I'll stick to the hygienist, LOL. Neat to find "the hike was just the right length, not grueling, but enough."

curlyjax - Kudos for using your resistance muscle when called by the thought of popcorn. Another day dealing with folks who make you wait for them.

Readers -

Success Skill 4 Give Yourself Credit

what to do ...

You deserve credit every time you: . . .
  • Read a Response Card.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 68.

curlyjax 05-14-2021 08:02 AM

Yesterday was a whirlwind. The fridge folks came, DS and I unloaded the food, then they discovered the fridge was dented and they'd have to get a new one. We loaded the food back into the old fridge. They came back a few hours later, I unloaded the food, all was well. We delivered and picked up the car from the mechanic. And in between all this I listened to a 4 hour webinar, and managed to get a nap in during the lunch break. Whew. The fridge is so big and new, and the light in it actually works; we joked it doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the house. I googled fridge organization and will get some cheap containers to make it even better. And the best news is my tax refund paid for it.
Food wasn't the greatest in between all this but ah well. I was so exhausted even after my nap, I didn't do any exercise. TGIF.
Karen- yay for weight at its lowest. My downfall is definitely the sweet treats too.I love it when I don't feel hungry too, makes me feel my body is working efficiently.
Maryann-walking thru it is definitely all one can do. hope the school acknowledges what's going on for the students sake at some point.
Bill-yay for finding the exact plug at the hardward, and finding what you needed at home too, boy do I know what you mean! Whales are wonderful.

gardenerjoy 05-14-2021 10:46 AM

I ended up at DH's mom's for 12 hours yesterday -- with an hour and a half's driving on top of that. She's got a UTI, resulting in confusion and weakness. She can't stand up by herself or stay standing without a lot of support. With two of us (me and SiL), we barely managed the bare minimum of personal care yesterday. And, I'm glad that I've focused on strength-training the last couple of years or I wouldn't have been able to hold her up as long as necessary.

We got a video appointment with the doctor in the late afternoon and he ordered PT at a nursing home for a couple of weeks to get her strength back. Pending insurance approval. We're hoping that all comes together today because we're not at all sure how we would handle the inevitable personal care that comes with a fully functioning human digestion system. We got lucky yesterday that bodily function hasn't recovered yet.

We'd all like to keep her out of the hospital, but we're rapidly getting beyond our abilities to care for her at home.

I'm not planning to go out today on the assumption that she'll be in the hands of professional care by the end of the day.

DH overdid it yesterday without my help for keeping the kitchen clean and other household chores that I barely notice myself doing. So, it will be good to make sure that's happening in a better way for his continued recovery.

The big excitement for today is my first hair appointment in 14 months. I'd been curious about longer hair and natural color. Now, I know -- I prefer it short and with a little artificial color.

Exercise +30, 580/1400 minutes for May

maryann: I love your idea of using Pixar's Inside Out for self-care. I watched that several times last fall when I needed some help to figure out my paths to resilience and healing.

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