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nationalparker 03-29-2018 09:55 PM

On plan today - lunch was leftover chicken tortilla soup that I'd frozen a while back, dinner was refried veg black bean, onion and cheese quesadilla with guac. I just couldn't think of anything from what I had available that was quick/easy except that. The later in the week it goes, the less effort I'm putting into the evening routine. Dishes didn't get done tonight - DH is off tomorrow. I'm hoping he does a bit but I will honestly be shocked if he does. Laundry piles up until I do a few loads one night. DH fell asleep on the couch after saying he was going to reutrn the redbox movie (has to be back by 9). So at 8:45 I headed out in the rain to take it back. Took the pooch out for her last walk of the night - she's not a willing partner in the rain. I feel bad but I'm not thrilled, either.

Watching a fascinating show on the first Outward Bound for girls (PBS) in 1965. I wish I'd caught the beginning of the episode - will go online to check it out. Now I want to be in the outdoors. Now I want to be more active there, too. I'm hoping my cousin will meet up with just me or DH and me this summer and camp/hike. I would LOVE to have that as a weight loss/healthy life goal. Maybe I just set it as one and when I get there, I just plan and go.

Very busy work day tomorrow - at least the morning and early afternoon. Off to bed for some needed sleep. I feel like I can't get caught up. No Easter weekend plans, and it feels freeing.

bethturnaround 03-29-2018 11:08 PM

Hello everyone!

I went to the gym and walked today! Yay me! I felt good after doing so, too. Put in my earbuds, cranked up Teri Clark, and walked. To be repeated soon.

Food and drink on target. Weighed and sugar checked. My sugar has been pretty reliable under 125 since we got back from Mexico. I updated my ticker again. (I don't have the patience maryann has to do it once per month!

nationalparker: Outdoor activities is a great goal--after all, that's where you got your name! I'd like to do some camping this summer--and it'll be a lot easier at a lower weight. I haven't camped in 15 years--but I miss waking up outside, under the trees, to birds singing.

BillBlueEyes: Everything you share about DGD makes it clearer that she is adorable beyond words.

silverbirch: Credit for walking--and recognizing that some foods--like store bread--sound and smell more enjoyable than they end up being.

onebyone: I'm glad you're back. (I too know about needing to recommit) For the declutter stuff, I actually do like Marie Kondo's book. If we stipulate that she is extreme (I don't talk to my socks), the ideas of tackling groups of things at a time and only keeping that which brings you joy really helps. If finances permit, perhaps some time with a professional organizer would help? Or a friend who is good at getting rid of stuff? (If I were local, I'd come help)

I'm going to spend some time tonight re-reading the pink book. If I'd forgotten about "oh well", what else valuable do I need to put back into my active brain?


BillBlueEyes 03-30-2018 06:07 AM

Friday - Hyman L. Lipman patents pencil with an eraser attached (1858, Philadelphia)
Diet Coaches/Buddies Walked, CREDIT moi, to an evening event that, unfortunately, was followed by a table of cheeses, crackers, and fresh fruit. DW insists that we're shortening our lives by eating cheese for dinner. I insist that we're adding to our lives with the fresh melons served - (we don't buy fresh melons anymore since we're just not that good at selecting ripe ones). Walked home in a slight drizzle without rain gear just because we hadn't even considered that it would rain. Learned that Teotihuacan in what is now Central Mexico has been ignored as one of the great cities of antiquity because . . . the Europeans who wrote about such just never considered that the Americas would have had great cities.

Eating was OKish. Lunch was a bowl of clam chowder at an exhibit about Georgia O'Keeffe. Her presentation of herself in self-designed wardrobe was part of her art. Lived to be 98, she did, active all that time. She became the most recognized artist in America. There is such advantage going to a museum in the middle of a weekday. Wish I'd retired when I was twenty, LOL.

maryann - Super Kudos for taking care of yourself and for seeking help. Thanks for sharing your gratitude list; it helps remind me that I, also, have much to be grateful for.

nationalparker Ouch for a trip in the rain just to return a movie. Need to crank up my outdoor time, also. Good luck with your very busy workday today.

curlyjax - Kudos for continuing with going to bed hungry. However rare it is or isn't, Easter candy will soon be over.

Beth (bethturnaround) Kudos for doing both gym and walking. Yep, rereading the Pink Book periodically is a great idea.

Readers -

day 7 Arrange Your Environment

Consider the following: . . .

Finally, think about how likely it is that you will lose weight this time - because now you have the power of Cognitive Therapy and the Beck Diet Solution - if you follow all the steps. Now, are you ready to read about how you need to change your environment?

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 90.

maryann 03-30-2018 11:07 AM

Happy Spring Break, Coaches.

I am officially vacationing for ten days. I put the "out of office" message on my school email for all the students trying to get a grade bump.

I am feeling better this morning. I have had two chats with the shrink and the med adjustment seemed to help. DH will be back tonite. It is beautiful weather here so all in all, I feel grateful that i survived the emotional downturn.

Responding to BBE's Beck snippet: My mom came up to stay with me for support. She was staring in the fridge and said "There is nothing sweet in here!" Yeah. I have arranged my environment very well.

I am a pound down from ticker and motivated to keep it that way so I can change the number tomorrow. That would be a total loss of nearly 4 pounds in about 9 days. I know it will slow way down as I eat the more reasonable second week food but I am comfortably away from the ceiling that is 170.

Beth: I sent a response. Let me know if you don't get it. I am not sure about pms.
nationalparker: Marriage is so funny because sometimes i feel like I am doing everything and then I feel so grateful having someone help me with everything. My husband asks if I could live "in the middle" a little more.
onebyone: I wonder if there is someone or some group near you that you could join up with on the decluttering. It seems like a scary, lonely process. In AA we have a sponsor to walk us through the rough bits. Is there anything like that up where you live.? I know for members of my husband's family, decluttering is a VERY emotional process.
silverbirch: I wish we had a viable transportation system aside from cars. I'd love to walk to a train or subway.

onebyone 03-30-2018 11:30 PM

Begun again
Good evening coaches.

Phone check in so I'll be brief.

Stayed on plan today when all I wanted to do was change my plans and "get some lunch" a euphemism for "go off plan". I had food waiting so I reminded myself of that like very 2 minutes. I also remembered that "DH is losing weight right now!" as in he's for sure on plan and getting thinner. Do I want to stay big? No. So stay on plan too. I did. Credit. It took a lot of self talk not to give in.

Clean up has begun. Credit. I made my detailed checklist which always works for me. It's coupled with a timeline/deadline which is even better. I'm feeling happy that I am finally getting to this.

Scale rose today. I ate soup made with a commercial stock base. Yummy but salty. Cauliflower Cheese soup. Omg. So good.

Tonight I checked into aquatic classes nearby and there are quite a few. I think I'll get a 10 class pass. If I use that up I'll move to a one month pass or whatever the next level is.

maryann: decluttering is very emotional for me. But I'm at the point where I need to change this. It's more painful staying the same. I am confident I can do the work. What I haven't resolved is what to do with my art pieces, especially paintings. Do I throw them out? Destroy them? Taken them off their stretchers and roll them up? Take their picture and destroy them or paint over them? I have a lot of canvases. But I don't have to decide this today :) I have one friend I can lean on for this topic. And I am returning either to therapy and/or overeaters anonymous for support. I need some support for the changes I want to make.
Thank you for your thoughts.

Have a good night everyone.

bethturnaround 03-31-2018 01:41 AM

Hi everyone!

As of this morning, I am exactly 40 lbs down for the year.

I'm weighing and tracking daily and my thought processes are a bit obsessive. DH pointed out to me that I only have two speeds with regards to weight control (and other things)--I'm all in, or I act as if it doesn't exist. When I thought about it, I realized he was right--I've gone (more than once) from carefully watching everything to throwing all concern out the window. I made an appointment with a behavioral therapist in my program--I need to find a way to a happy medium.

onebyone: Major credit for self-talking and for listening to your self-talking. That's hard--big success. (Decluttering--start with things that are the least emotionally difficult. Kondo suggests that clothes for most people)

maryann: Yay for your food environment--even if Mom couldn't find anything sweet. It's hard to eat it if it isn't there--you're doing great with that!

BillBlueEyes: Your events sounds so awesome (and you can walk to them) but wow, do they have food! You've now put Teotihuacan on my bucket list.

I'm re-reading the pink book--paying attention to the sabotaging thoughts, since I know they'll be a real issue when I start eating again.

Tomorrow we're going to my cousin's for the second night of Passover. I'm bringing shakes/bars. It'll be a bit strange eating them when everyone else is eating matzoh and brisket. <break for googling> Just did web lookup--I'll bring shakes but no bars. Optifast isn't kosher for Passover but they are halachically acceptable for those who are ill (and I'm counting my weight as a medical condition). Liquids are preferred to solids, though, and since I'll be at someone else's house, I'll go with the shakes. (We're not observant at all at my house, but my cousin and his family are more so)


silverbirch 03-31-2018 03:38 AM

From the train
On the early train. Packed brekkie and bought caffe latte which was really hot milk with a little coffee. I've been thinking about this. Never used to drink it until coffee in shops got so strong. Think I'll stop drinking as a default in cafes. I simply don't need that extra milk, however occasional it is. Meeting a friend in London later and we'll walk round Regent's Park unless it's pouring with rain. Then I'll get on another train, straight through and I've booked a seat. Looking forward to being home.

BillBlueEyes 03-31-2018 04:29 AM

Saturday - Alexandre Gustave Eiffel opens the Eiffel Tower (1889, Paris)
Diet Coaches/Buddies A quiet day getting stuff done. The trip to the supermarket discovered NO strawberries. A sign read "There will be a Gap in the supply due to rain in California". Ouch. I do like strawberries with my breakfast. Later, DW found some at another store. Don't know how they avoided the rain, but I'm happy.

Had a phone conversation with a friend who was traveling down the highway in Florida - his wife was driving. He interrupted each minute to tell me the traffic problem of that moment. Apparently, he's not usually the passenger - they swapped because we had a scheduled phone call. It's strange to get road reports in real time, LOL. My challenge for the week is to replace the 'Burner Tube' in our Weber grill in preparation for summer grilling. Looks easy - says the man who's still working to get his HP printer functioning.

onebyone Kudos for using "DH is losing weight right now!" as a Helpful Response to the Sabotaging Thought to go off plan. Dealing with old paintings is a challenge. I have two paintings on my wall picked up from the trash pile of the artist who lives up the street.

silverbirch I do like caffe latte. We had it as kids on cold, rainy days. The 'caffe' part was a miniscule flavoring to induce us to drink warm milk, which, in those days, was considered good for us.

maryann - Yay, indeed, for "There is nothing sweet in here!" Welcome to the start of ten days of vacation from teaching.

Beth (bethturnaround) LOL at "only have two speeds." Kudos for finding a halachically acceptable way to stick to your eating plan.

Readers -

day 7 Arrange Your Environment
Prepare your home and work environments
by putting tempting foods where you won't easily
see them - and
by putting wholesome foods
allowed by your diet in plain view.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 90.

nationalparker 03-31-2018 08:19 AM

I don't know that I've ever felt worst about myself, my physical self, than I do right now. Before when I was this heavy, I wasn't really as aggravated, frustrated and ready to just throw in the towel. Seven weeks on WW with a net loss of one pound. Every week was counting with freebie points leftover - but the free/0 point items weren't over the top. I tracked daily, each meal and snack, not trying to remember, yet forgetting items. I'm not going to skip lean chicken, fruits and veggies because they're now 0 points. The portions certainly weren't like two bananas in a day or 1/4 of a chicken. I did have two mandarin oranges in a day, but at 50 calories I'm not sweating those. So, while i have another month and a half paid for, I need to think it through. Last night I threw caution to the wind - it was late and we hadn't prepped anything. I ran out and picked up Chinese from the local spot down the street. DH noted that we each shared one of the small rice containers and still had half of one left. I just pulled up the points listed in the ww program and used that, though I think it was massively high for the amount eaten of which most of it was carrots and celery. Onto another day. I am again (AGAIN!) entertaining the thoughts of do I just return to the FMD for one last gasp month and see what I can do? The restrictions apparently were doable. I'm more frustrated now than I was before undertaking it initially. I have paid for three months of ww and DH said, wow, that's $40 for the one pound. I said more than that - it's become the obsessive counting of everything. Before the food was obsessive in the planning (which this is but the counting this vs. that is annoying/tedious). So while the choices have opened wider with the allowance of more than just spelt or almond flour, sprouted grains, raw nuts, etc., depending on the day of the week/phase, we're not spending less. I considered trying the program with the vegetarian slant on the two lean protein days and using the split pea soup as a main choice for that day's lunch proteins. Sorry for going on and on and on.

I need to find a solution. Now I have been so lazy, and I know it's because i'm tired from hauling all this weight around. Getting up from the floor is harder, squatting down to get into a low cupboard, I almost have to haul myself up by pulling on the counter instead of just unsquatting/standing up.

We have DH's grandson this afternoon/evening. I think he's taking him home around 10-11p when his daughter gets off work and gets home. I have hours of work to do each day this weekend - looking at 7-8 each day, split up morning and night. It looks like we'll be rain-free for a nice change from this past week, and I just want to get out on the trail for some fresh air, will put in my ear buds and just clear my mind. And hopefully show up here tomorrow with a better outlook.

I know I am more than my weight and body shape. Just at times I feel I'm stuck in neutral, sliding back each week.

curlyjax 03-31-2018 09:14 AM

I fell way off the wagon for a day and a half. Some from real hunger and some from that oh well, may as well keep eating thing. Today is a new day.
I'm going to share my breakfast which is healthy and filling: I toast a piece of ezekial bread, then put on a bit of avacado, cheese and tomatoes, and broil that. Then I have about 3/4 cup of kefir, and sometimes a little fruit. i'm trying to get my yogurt into my system and this is a good way to do it.
It's all healthy stuff (i do have to watch the cheese) and i really enjoy it. plus coffee of course!!
I promised myself i would get something in the mail THIS morning, i have been so bad at getting things done, so that will be a good start to the day. so off i go!
sounds like both Beth and Maryann are looking for a happy mediium in various parts of their life. I can certainly relate to that!
Hugs to nationalparker and onebyone.

maryann 03-31-2018 11:07 AM

Good morning, Coaches.

nationalparker: As curleyjax says, "hugs." You are of course more than you current figure but I certainly know that feels like small consolation. As does " all body parts working, healthy, etc. . . "What struck me when I was reading your post was that Beck has us pick two diets for a reason. Sometimes one doesn't work. I know it is also not something you want to hear but for seven weeks you have not gained. That is a big deal at our age. Weight watchers has always been a maintenance diet for me yet my mother lost all her weight on it. There are also many other programs to research. Maybe you can take your remaining month and a half, maintain and find something that gives you better results.

silverbirch: I have been to Regent Park! I remember it. So cool.

BBE: We had a downpour last week and ruin at crop. Sorry. I'm not sure the cherries are going to make it either.

Beth: Thanks for addressing Passover. I have Easter and I was thinking about it. I hate to be visible with my products but what the heck. I'll just bring what I am suppose to eat and eat it. Seems simple enough. People can say what they will. It is crazy but I'm in charge of buying and transporting five fresh pies. That has nothing to do with me, though. Super congrats on 40 pounds.

onebyone 03-31-2018 07:40 PM

Thought March was over

I am shocked that today is still March. Forgot it has 31 days. How could I forget that? Weird.

Food has been on plan but I've eaten too much at one sitting. I'll count the on plan with a big Credit and the too much with an Oh Well.

I am trying to "close my eating window" as in eat within a 4 or 5hr time frame. It was 8 today. But things are improving and I am willing so I'll get back to it.

I have news to report. Two area of the apartment have moved from the To Do List to the Maintenance List because they are...DONE.
1) Entry Hallway is cleared of everything.
2) Countertops on either side of the stove have been decluttered and re-arranged. Stovetop cleared off.
3) Forgot to mention I decluttered the top of the fridge. It's beside the counter beside the stove beside the counter. Made sense.
Yay! Credit Moi x 2

Kitchen is closed. DH is losing weight so I am staying the course.

Adieu mes amis.

bethturnaround 04-01-2018 12:40 AM

Hi everyone!

En route to the seder tonight, my daughter asked if I was going to eat. I'd brought shakes. I had some back and forth in my head about what to do--physical distress of the indecision. Pesach really does qualify as a 'special occasion'--in fact, that's the whole focus of the holiday.

So, I decided to eat. And I made really good choices. I had some chopped liver with matzoh (which was amazing), but stopped myself when I wanted more. I knew i had to limit my carbs, so water instead of wine. (Which is weird--the Passover service calls for drinking 4 glasses of wine.) I ate my boiled egg. I had the charoset with a bit more matzoh. I asked for extra carrots in my soup, and only nibbled at the matzoh ball. I had brisket and turkey (both also amazing) and limited my potato kugel. And then I stopped. Other people covered their plates with food. I had small amounts and you could see my plate :-). My mouth wanted more but I was actually full so I stopped.

Dessert time came and I had one piece of matzoh toffee.

I was still full by the time we got to the afikomen so I skipped that.

I ate so much less than I normally would have--and still feel like I ate too much. That is informative--that even eating much less than I have in previous years, I still have a sense of being overfull. Of course, my "meals" have all been small lately so I'm not used to meals at all.

Even though I hadn't planned to eat until right before we got there, I think it was a good decision for me. The meal is part of Passover in a way hat isn't true of any other holiday. The meal, the order of the service, the food we eat, the wine--it's all part of the observation, and it felt right to be fully part of the family observation. (Is that too much rationalization?)

Everyone noticed my weight loss :-). 40 lbs is pretty significant.

I don't know what the scale will show tomorrow, but it'll be okay. I took home leftover braised brisket and smoked turkey for DH, but I won't have any. I didn't take anything else. OH--and I helped clean up the kitchen and didn't eat ANYTHING while putting the food away.

(long winded, but that's my report to my coaches for tonight)

onebyone: HUGE credit for the decluttering work. Getting started can be the hardest part.

maryann: I hope your Easter plans go well. I know I made plans but then didn't follow through.

curlyjax: Sounds like a great and healthy breakfast!

nationalparker: You are so much more than what you weigh. Like maryann, I wonder if after giving WW enough of a try that a second diet plan might be worth looking into.

BillBlueEyes: I hope the grill is more cooperative than the printer!


BillBlueEyes 04-01-2018 05:25 AM

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