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Old 02-18-2018, 09:52 AM   #121  
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Credits yesterday for more stretching and exercise. Credit for resisting buying a calzone for myself when I bought one for my son and his friend for lunch yesterday. I ended up making a cheese sauce for my cauliflower which isn't the healthiest thing, but I did eat a lot of cauliflower with it anyway!
I did end up on a crying jag yesterday. One of DH's cousins asked if her 20 year son could bring his GF to DH's memorial service and family dinner afterwards. Somehow that really upset me- I think its very tacky, this isn't some fun party! The GF has never met DH. But I know its one of the rare opportunities for extended family to get together so I am saying fine. I know DH would react the same and say, this is typical of that family!! I just feel like i'm planning this big event that I don't want to even go to (the memorial service) and I had wanted to do dinner with DH's extended family, but now I'm not so sure, I may just want to go home and collapse. Anyhow-I ended up sobbing a lot. i guess it will indeed continue for awhile.
I think that is what I miss the most, the common background 0f 20 years and talking/sharing things.
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Old 02-18-2018, 01:24 PM   #122  
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Good Morning, Coaches.

Slept well last night and I want to make a firm plan for the day. Part of me says I don't have to do school work because it is Sunday and I have Monday to do it. The other part says best get things done or at least a start. I gave my self a firm 10:30 deadline to do SOMETHING. This morning, I watched DS's baby dvd. My heart does indeed break with you, curleyjax. Those shared memories with DH are precious and it is most understandable to grieve the common moments of twenty years. I do feel though at the same time a deep gratitude that I ever had them. My marriage was very late in life. I had a baby at nearly the last moment. A "Hail Mary" DH says.

In the video of DS baptism, i see my smiling and laughing brothers and sisters (six of us in all) members. It breaks my heart to watch us because my family has fractured, will not meet, sides have been taken. It has broken my parents heart. I don't even want to watch the numerous holiday videos we have together. It feels like a lie to me. It brings me back to the movie Arrival (gardenerjoy) No spoilers but if I knew my family as a whole were to be lost to me would I have spent so much time with them? In any case, I can use this in perspective on "Martha." I will do anything within my power so that DH and DS will watch movies of us and feel only joy and gratitude. So that's that. A simple solution - not easy but simple. I will go off to the gym in10 minutes because I know that is important, and then trust that later I'll get the next good idea. When in doubt, take the first healthy indicated action - just like beth's walk.

silverbirch: You were talking about one pot awhile a go. Wanted to let you know DSIL received one for XMAS and they are having fun with it.

BBE: DSister wanted to go to rowing Regata in Boston. Apparently the entire city is booked. 300,000. You and DW could air b and b your house and finance a vacation somewhere fun!

Weight is three pounds below ticker. Hoping to continue the trend to lower ticker on March 1st.

Last edited by maryann; 02-18-2018 at 01:27 PM.
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Old 02-18-2018, 09:26 PM   #123  
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Last minute-plans today added DH's folks to the dinner, so I'm glad I asked DH to select a larger roast. We had just enough but everyone had multiple servings. I don't eat beef, so had some spicy chicken soup with ditalini (my knockoff Carrabba's recipe that comes out realliy tasty) and broccoli and a smidge of mashed potatoes. I also had a sliver of pie, as in less than a half inch wide and just basically two bites. Perfect. Tracked it all and used a few add'l points due to larger lunch and breakfast but felt like it was a credit-worthy day. Also skipped the bread, which is something I LOVE. Everyone really raved about the old-fashioned Sunday dinner, and I do enjoy feeding people. I just resented the fact that it's always last-minute. I had about 6-8 hours of office work to do, and will be finishing it for hours tonight. We're supposedly going to watch DH's grandson next weekend. He's a mellow fellow. His daughter brought a photo of him for me and thought that was thoughtful - says Nana on it. She'd asked me when he was born what I wanted to be called. I chose that.

Just another rushed through the weekend. Took the time to get on the exercise bike this morning, though, credit there, too. Also carved out time while working online to color my hair alone in the bathroom so I didn't scare DH. Ha.

I'm going to try to take off 1-2 days this week with DH. Pretty sure one will be wednesday, but not sure I can find another day without meetings or heavy work schedule.

Brother is facing a few hurdles. Still in hospital and they've found infection in something - tests back tomorrow, but he's on IV antibiotics, so they're tackling it. I worry. I reiterated that I can come down to lend a hand or stay with him but I know he just wants to get through this alone with SIL. I get that. I just want to make sure they know all they have to do is say the word and I'm there. SIL has been great at communicating what we need/want to know. Last night I asked her how SHE was doing and I'm glad i did - she's facing other issues with her family as well - a couple live in Parkland and are really going through some trying times from the shooting and one was in classroom that had two students shot, etc. Glad I was able to be a sounding board for her for a bit.

I realize I won't get all my office work done tonight, but will get in and lock down my schedule so I can just get to it tomorrow without interruption. In theory.
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Old 02-19-2018, 12:35 AM   #124  
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Hi all!

I ended my streak of logging in to MyFitnessPal every day. I started a new streak today--so far at 1! I'm maintaining a consistent record of daily weight and blood sugar.

I did walk this morning--credit for that. Spent much of the afternoon napping, though--I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I managed my two walks this week but not my resistance bands. I need to figure out why I'm balking at following through on my ten minutes twice a week plan--that's really quite minor. The walking, though, feels good. That's been easier to make happen. But I need to do both, so I think I shall mark them on my calendar.

Hope everyone has a great week.
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Old 02-19-2018, 03:29 AM   #125  
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I had a good Sunday. Planned and achieved three things to help this week go smoothly: morning - ironing school uniform, afternoon - farm shop, evening - making sandwiches (DB) and salad (me) for today. I also managed a few other things too, including several big rests. I'm going to try a simple three-thing plan for today and see how far that takes me. Morning - ironing, afternoon - writing session, evening - make sandwiches and salad. Clearly there are many other things that could go on a list but, going on yesterday's experience, they will fit in around the others. Let's see how it goes.

Beth, good to hear about the walks. I really must start joining you now the flu is fading away. Perhaps you don't have enough spare energy for the resistance bands if you're on a VLCD.

nationalparker, good work on the food and exercise bike. These shootings are appalling.

maryann, I was an 'elderly first-time mother' when expecting the DB. Of course, now, because of your age and my age, we are very wise parents with a lot of life experience. Thanks for the feedback about the one pot. Fun with a piece of kitchen equipment is always good.

curlyjax, we've had a couple of those kinds of tacky things around funerals as well, usually to do with new partners. I really do sympathise.

gardenerjoy, so good to hear that you've 'established' your afternoon habit of salad and fruit. It's such a relief when habits are established. (PN is very big on habits.) We're in the sticks so salad bars haven't quite reached us.

Bill, one slice of cheese toast is abstemious. Credit! Nowadays quite a lot of books seem to be published which wouldn't have made the cut a few years ago. My mother and I had a conversation about books donated to charity shops which don't sell and which are - horror! - pulped. We agreed that it makes sense. When you see half a dozen copies of the Da Vinci Code or Shades of Grey in charity shops, well, it makes you think.
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Old 02-19-2018, 07:22 AM   #126  
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Thumbs up Monday - President's Day in U.S.: Copernicus born (1473, Torun, Poland)

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Exercise was shoveling snow, CREDIT moi. At least three inches fell. Good snowman snow it was. The DD posted a picture of the DGD beside her snowman; they were nearly the same height. After getting all the sidewalks and driveway clear, the sun came out to finish the details and leave the pavement dry. It looks good because the remaining snow isn't slushed by dirty melt.

Eating was OK, CREDIT moi. Dinner was chicken grilled on the tiny deck just outside the kitchen door. Methinks the butane is getting to its too-low point - the tanks don't have the feature of being absolutely empty. Our local guy charges the same amount for filling a tank regardless of how much remains in the bottom, so I'm inclined to wait as long as possible. I must save $1.00 per year for my effort.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Salad for a snack is serious dedication.

silverbirch – Yay for big rests to fight flu symptoms. We had a used bookstore many years ago that NEVER discarded books. Their shelves slowly filled with the below-worthless volumes that would be in the same place when I visited the store a year later. Naturally they went out of business.

maryann - Love the notion, "When in doubt, take the first healthy indicated action." [Yes, the Head of the Charles Regatta packs the city. Crowds line the banks of the Charles River for hours and hours.]

nationalparker – Congrats for being so flexible that you can absorb unplanned folks into your dinner. It's an awesome burden that your SIL has Parkland relatives to console right now.

curlyjax - Yep, Kudos for resisting a calzone - a calorie bomb to be sure. You're taking the high road with the cousin's girlfriend. It can't be stopped that some folks will make any memorial into their fantasized Irish wake.

Beth (bethturnaround) – Yay for walking - the exercise that's always available.

Readers -
Quote:
day 5 Eat Slowly and Mindfully

what are you thinking?
Do you have any sabotaging thoughts about this step in the program? If so, make Response Cards based on the relevant thoughts and responses below. . . .

Sabotaging Thought: I truly don't have time to eat slowly.
Helpful Response: I need to rearrange my schedule to make the time. If I needed to take time for a lifesaving medical procedure three times a day, I'd somehow find the time. I'm not giving eating properly a high enough priority.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 82.
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Old 02-19-2018, 09:12 AM   #127  
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My back seems to be stiff from sitting all the time, even from riding in the car. I'm not sure what i'm doing wrong with my sitting posture. I guess I will really have to do some stretching more consistently. Credit for ignoring all the easter etc candy. I'm allowed myself a "mug" dessert of apple crisp, feeling at least the apples and oats are healthy. Still feel like there is so much to do with sorting out financial stuff and i keep thinking i'm forgetting something important. I have free time on the weekend but I seem to waste it and have trouble getting motivated to get things done. One more day off today so i'm determined to stay focused.
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:03 AM   #128  
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Since I'm posting in the morning, I might as well get my daily weigh-in habit going, too. I was off-kilter early in the month, but developing a salad & fruit habit for afternoon snacks seems to have done the trick to get the scale moving down.

Weigh-in: -0.9 kg, Exercise: +40, 650/1000 minutes for February

curlyjax: Sitting too much makes my back hurt, no matter how I sit or what else I do during the day. I use a timer to encourage myself to get up a couple of times an hour. Lack of focus is a symptom of grief, so don't be too hard on yourself.

maryann: I hope your gym time went well! I like the idea of taking the next healthy action.

nationalparker: I'm glad you're there for your SiL as well as your brother. My family is so tiny, now, just me and my brother, that I'm glad to have some support from my husband's family.

bethturnaround: For me to do something like resistance bands, I need to match it with something I want to do -- listening to music or watching a show. If I'm using a video, I sometimes turn the sound off so that I can listen to something else.

silverbirch: I like your three-thing plan -- an excellent way to get things going again while recovering.

BillBlueEyes: DH found a farm supply shop that charges for the amount that goes in the tank. I like that he's willing to fill it earlier so we don't fret about running out in the middle of grilling.
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:25 AM   #129  
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Good Morning, Coaches.

Yesterday's plan of "Do the next healthy thing" worked well. Credit moi. I NEVER thought I could buckle down to the simplest of the correcting tasks but I did. I also ate a green smoothie, used the machines at the gym after walking to increase my range of motion, fixed the toilet, fixed pulled pork to make several lunches for the week, and went to church with the boys. I did all of this without the ability to make a larger plan. I guess the trick on these days of anxiety/depression mix is to leave larger batches of time to sit, putter, watch a silly movie.

I will again go step by step today. At 9:00, I will correct 7 papers. With large breaks in between, I will finish the class set for 21 tomorrow. I also must go see the counselor with DH. This is always a big hurdle for me. So I will take everything else slowly and with gentleness to myself. Thankfully I have the lesson plans already done for tomorrow.

I am not setting any Olympic records for productivity but the house is quiet and calm for the boys. I am able to be present with them, listen to DS endless stories ( the newest is his theories on The Lord of the Rings) and, most importantly, do no harm. Isn't that the Drs creed? So credit.

Weight is a tiny bit up which is predictable after a weight training session.

Great job tracking nationalparker and bethturnaround. Perfectionism is the death of all progress. I have been tracking consistently if not perfectly and it has truly been a lifeboat for me.

Last edited by maryann; 02-19-2018 at 10:27 AM.
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Old 02-19-2018, 08:13 PM   #130  
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Well, phooey - after my list of credits from yesterday, scale was up almost two pounds. Just stuck to it today, got in my veggies and didn't play the mental games - ate according to my menu and hunger ... and we'll see how it shakes out. It's just me weighing myself in on Wednesday, but still. I did dip into the weekly points by a good bit today, more than any other day, but wanted to get in my good salad with dinner and eat less of the entree and it was worth it. I need to order more of the balsamics this week. I truly thoroughly enjoy the pineapple and other tropical ones and am running out of the last two that I've been stretching out.

Work was incredibly busy, but put my head down and got done all that I needed to. Tomorrow will be busy as well, but committing to taking Wednesday off, so that's a light. Will spend with DH, at least that's the plan

Spent some time writing in a journal type book - one page was "what fills your heart" ... that was a fun exercise. What are some of the many things that fill YOUR heart? Nice to think about.

Last edited by nationalparker; 02-19-2018 at 08:14 PM.
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Old 02-19-2018, 11:07 PM   #131  
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I had one of my first hunger pangs in a long time today--and I wanted something other than one of my products. However, I glanced at the clock, saw that it was time to eat, and slowly ate a bar and drank a lot of water, and moved on from it.

I went to the gym today and walked--it felt good. I'm starting to want to go and walk--that's a big step forward, that I'm not pushing myself--I want to.

Still thinking about the resistance bands--maybe I'll try taking one exercise worth of breaks during my work day--since I work from home, I could do that. I like the idea of pairing it with music--but I have to learn the moves first!

I've got my weight management class tomorrow night--and I think I'll go to the gym on the way back.

I've been on this program 6 weeks.
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Old 02-19-2018, 11:19 PM   #132  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nationalparker View Post
What are some of the many things that fill YOUR heart? Nice to think about.
That's an easy one! Being out in the countryside. Ideally up a mountain. Looking at the long views to the distance. And looking at the details of the plants/insects right under my nose. Possibly as an excuse to have a breather after a stomp uphill!
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Old 02-20-2018, 04:39 AM   #133  
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Default Tuesday - out and about

Quick post from phone. Did a full body workout yesterday and it felt good. I'll go for a brisk walk along the shore in a moment and call it active recovery. The sun is shining and the sky is blue. Sunglasses? Not sure.

Yesterday was also good in that I did not drive anywhere and was at home all on my own for hours. Did a mountain of ironing and mending, at my own pace, listening to the radio (BBC Radio 4 Extra on i-player). Fantastic.

Hope your day runs at a good pace for you today.
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:19 AM   #134  
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Thumbs up Tuesday - John Glenn launched into earth orbit (1962, Cape Canaveral)

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, included dropping off four more books at the micro-library. Those sidewalks that were shoveled are clear and dry. Those not shoveled are now covered in wet ice - dangerous to walk across. It's a big red flag "I don't care about my neighbors." I tried to imagine what the folks were like who didn't clear their sidewalks. After I got a list of a few dozen reasons, I lost interest and just watched the scenery. A new building is going up and I'm concerned that it's using a combination of several construction techniques. We sidewalk superintendents have high standards.

Food was OK, CREDIT moi. We rushed dinner in order to watch the movie on DVD, The Central Park Five. My class, Errors of the Prosecution, is sending me to some unpleasant reality. That travesty happened in 1989 - skewering my notion that all bad stuff happened long ago and far away. By people different than me. It's not a movie to make you believe that the Criminal Justice System is fair; that justice is blind. This civilization thing is tough.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for a scale moving down.

silverbirch – Sunglasses in February in Wales seems like asking a bit much. Congrats on getting a mountain of ironing behind you.

maryann - Neat to have such a specific, doable, plan, "At 9:00, I will correct 7 papers."

nationalparker – Kudos for "didn't play the mental games" - however you managed to avoid that.

curlyjax - A mug of apple crisp is a great way to avoid the zillion calories in the crust - Kudos.

Beth (bethturnaround) – Happy 6-week anniversary on your new program.

ange82much - Love the combination of "the long views to the distance ... and details of the plants/insects right under my nose."

Readers -
Quote:
day 5 Eat Slowly and Mindfully
Once I accept the fact that I have
to eat slowly and notice every bite,
dieting will be easier.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 83.
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Old 02-20-2018, 07:42 AM   #135  
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thanks for the reminder Gardenerjoy to get up often, it does help. I also bought myself some small cheap pillows for the car and sitting to prop myself up. Between my sore hip and back I don't know how to position myself
I've been pulling out photos in prep for DH memorial service and boy that was tough, lots of tears. I forget what a good looking man he was when I met him about 20 years ago, woo!
Credit for not emotionally eating after a big fight with DD. I really miss my DH at times like these.
Well, today is another day. I will go do some stretches right now and make some kind of healthy lunch. Wave to all!
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