I did a few exercises yesterday and then I slept most of the afternoon. The exercises were a good idea, though, as they helped to make me feel that my body could operate smoothly again. I'll do a few again today. Food wasn't great but it could have been a lot worse.
Beth, that's great to hear your blood sugar is acceptable!
gardenerjoy, comforting and comfortable sounds good to me. This was so interesting: 'Cabbage is unusually plentiful and cheap here around St. Patrick's Day'. Cabbage in most of its forms is such a inexpensive basic here that I'd never considered it being otherwise. Thanks for making me think about that.
maryann, good for you, acting your way into right thinking.
Bill, well done for navigating three events with a cold. It sounds as though it's on the wane so that's good.
Wednesday - Valentine's Day; St. Valentine beheaded (278 A.D., Rome)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – True excitement: I got 20% off a HUGE bag of cough drops at the drugstore; and 20% off the largest size of decongestants that they sell. (Had to let them photograph my driver's license to get them; apparently, they can be made into drugs.) I had already purchased as many boxes of tissues as I could carry last Friday. I'm so stocked up for cold symptoms to last until summer. It was a nice walk, CREDIT moi, including a stop at the brick and mortar bookstore. A friend thinks that I absolutely must read Daniel Ellsberg's The Doomsday Machine: Confessions of a Nuclear War Planner. I feel like I'm ignoring reality if I avoid the subject, but just reading the preface causes me to blanch. It's not a happy topic.
Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi. We had dinner with the DS and DIL. They served a vegetarian meal centered on a lentil recipe using coconut milk. I had modest servings and had seconds of the grilled veggies. Dessert was California Cara Cara Navel Oranges because it was our assignment and that's what we brought. Was a pleasant evening.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yes, Super Kudos for ignoring that the supermarket abounds with sugar stuff for Valentine's Day. My problem comes tomorrow when every neuron in my brain remembers that candy is half price. I used to do that.
silverbirch – Yay for reminding your body that you're still there and will return.
maryann - Multiple prepped lunches sounds like being well prepared for the week. FYI: The first trainload of oranges left Los Angeles today in 1886 on the new transcontinental railroad. You guys have been feeding the rest of us for quite a while.
Beth (bethturnaround) – Super neat to achieve your goal of acceptable blood sugar - Kudos for five weeks of effort to get there.
Readers -
Quote:
day 5Eat Slowly and Mindfully
solve problems
It can be difficult to eat slowly and mindfully when you have a lot of responsibilities to fulfil. Here are suggestions for some specific difficulties (ask a friend for help with other problems).
The Kids.. . .
For example, once everyone is seated at the table, you eat just part of your meal, as slowly and mindfully as you can. When the kids leave the table, you get up too. Supervise the kids for 10 to 15 minutes while your spouse finishes eating and then switch so your spouse can do the supervision while you finish your meal. (Thank goodness for microwaves, so you can reheat your food.) The next night, do it the opposite way.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 81.
silverbirch: Glad you are on the mend. It is really true that health is the greatest gift we have.
gardenerjoy: Yes, it takes more trips and planning to eat large amounts of veggies. Sadly, my corner Walgreens ( which has everything that a survivalist could desire ) does NOT have fresh veggies and fruit. If it did, I would never go to town, hang the cost!!
BBE: Our fresh fruit and veggies are incomparable. True enough. And we in Northern California really enjoy the fresh produce. When I retire, I plan to make a concerted effort to capture as much of the goodness as possible. Right now we have a few fig trees I never getting around to picking, oranges that fall to the ground, pecans that don't get cracked. I can't think of a better time than puttering around the ranch finding these treasures.
As for me, credit for showing up and being the best teacher I can be. We played a game of giant Jenga after the kids took their tests. We are workshopping creative pieces on Google Docs Sharing. It will be interesting how it all turns out. It is a first for me. My seniors in Film as literature are watching Bringing up Baby and writing essays on how it is represents the screwball comedy within its historical context.
So that is good. But I am down. I will try to hide it as much from my family and the kids as I can but there is no denying that I don't really think I am making it. Day by day. Service work gets me out of myself but at the end of the day I'm really struggling. The shrink says it could be the transition meds. At least the binging has stopped. Weight is 2 pounds below ticker.
I think it is a myth that people who are mentally ill don't appreciate their lives and are somehow being ungrateful and selfish. I am abundantly grateful and overwhelmed at the love offered to me on a daily basis. I just often feel incapable of showing up for the demands of this world.It is too painful.
I know this is a food blog but as I have said all along, the food is but a symptom of a deeper problem for me. What i get for controlling my overeating, is an opportunity to work on the central issues. That does not always seem like a great bonus for hardwork. Still I am here. The day is planned. I have the boys and a restaurant planned for tonite. I will drop by a shirt with hearts on it for my mother. I will act like it is enough and somehow, somewhere in the middle of it all it will be more than enough. This is what I believe.
CREDIT for packing a lunch to an event today. That meant that I didn't have to negotiate through the free boxed lunch which had a sandwich on french bread, a bag of chips, and a giant cookie. A friend took the top piece of bread off and ate the sandwich open-faced and took the chips and cookie home to her 17-year-old son who is a runner. CREDIT for walking on the campus where the event was held and, then, walking again with DH when I got home. That added up to a big 70 minutes of exercise for me today.
That all took me through my normal hungry time without getting hungry. Interesting.
Radio silence on my end - a busy several days. Finally a plan to move forward and feel a sense of relief with that. Sometimes just the hope of progress and new method brings a sense of peace. I cannot allow myself to not take care of me during the next 15 weeks - my crunch time. I need sleep, healthy nutrition and activity.
Was joyful at being able to attend a moderated talk with Michelle Obama (along with 11,999 other participants) yesterday evening. A friend and I walked to the event and back, notching our 10K steps easily. Got home and DH had worked hours later than he usually does, so he was wiped out. I lit the candles and put on relaxing music and when he got out of the shower, he was treated to a relaxing massage. He conked right out. I lay awake until 2 a.m. Not sure WHY.
Was the first borrower of a new compilation of Agatha Christie short stories - I thoroughly enjoy her work, decades and decades after it was first published. I will run a hot bubble bath and do a bit more reading (though not of a library book).
Tried a new-to-me soup - Annie's organics Split Pea soup ... it looked horrid, but I was surprised that it tasted pretty good. I don't tend to buy soups, I make them now, but this was one I'll put in my desk for quick meals. Credit for trying something new on sale.
Last edited by nationalparker; 02-15-2018 at 09:10 AM.
I continue to feel less than in all ways except weight which continues to be more than.
I was very down today. I am completely artistically blocked. I have taken pleasure in painting white gesso over canvases earmarked for the tradeshow I had to cancel. That did bring joy. I am continuing the reclamation of those canvases this week.
I had two normal days and felt like I was getting sick again last night. I was without pep today. Uninspired and blue with dh making it to work but coming home super tired.
Looking forward to spring. What I wouldn't give to see a flower outside.
Scale was 265 again. Food choices were poor and too large and eating felt frenzied. I need to get a grip.
I saw the doctor today for a followup--he is very pleased with my progress. I confessed to feeling disappointed i wasn't losing faster. He reminded me that he'd told me 2-3 pounds per week, and I was at 2.6/week. In other words--right what he'd told me to expect. Slow and steady--I need to just stay the course.
I met with the dietitian and planned for my trip to Mexico. She is totally on board with what I want to do--3-4 products each day and one meal out. We discussed what I needed to be eating--should be straightforward and easy as long as I stay away from tortillas and chips and eat minimal rice. Since usually 2-3 bites is all I want of rice, that should be easy. I love tortillas, but carbs are not my friend right now--and probably never again.
DH sent me an incredible flower arrangements and the lilies smell absolutely amazing. I teased him about not getting me chocolates and taking me out to dinner and he confessed to being a cheapskate :-).
I've been paying attention to my healthy habits and giving myself credit for them--weighing daily, checking my sugar daily, drinking my water, taking my changed meds. I'll walk twice this week without a problem and I am determined to do resistance strength training at least once.
maryann: There is light at the other end of this tunnel. It's not an easy path but I was told, by a very wise woman, that feelings follow. Actions come first, and feelings follow. It's hard to keep the actions up with the feelings kicking in yet, but I know I found that they do kick in.
Quick post. Yesterday was OK with probably too much food. My insides are still not working properly but I have high hopes that they will be in the next few days. I also managed some basic exercises.
Today I hope to do the basic exercises again and perhaps go shopping. Full scale shopping feels like a bit of a stretch so I may think again. Perhaps I'll just take a book back to the library and go to the health food shop for one or two things.
Thursday - Susan B Anthony Born (1820, South Adams, Massachusetts)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Exercise was chase the DGD day, CREDIT moi. Carrying her out of the house and the playspace to make the transition happen seems to have become institutionalized so I get some resistance exercise. Someday the old back will note that leaning into a car to deposit a kid in a car seat isn't for those out of their twenties. But, so far, I'm good. Her new thing is making immediate responses: "You're watching your shadow swinging." "I am." It's so amazingly social for her to recognize that a response is part of an ongoing conversation. She made a Valentine's Day card for her parents with the stickers that I brought home from Trader Joe's. There is no indication of artistic awareness; the joy is in the process of choosing a sticker and removing it. She justs sticks it anywhere - often on top of others.
Food was OKish. I'm consuming cough drops often during the day. They do make my throat feel better. They are also just candy with a whiff of something to justify being called cough drops. Fortunately, it's an addiction that ends when the cold symptoms go away.
onebyone – Sometimes reclaiming canvases is what the brain is ready to do. Kudos for going forward with that.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Super Kudos for skipping a FREE packed lunch. It's hard to eat just a portion of a giant cookie.
silverbirch – Yes, a book returned to the library is a joyous exercise. Hope you continue to recover.
maryann - Always enjoy hearing how you're teaching your advanced students. It's a new world when high school kids are using Google Docs in their classroom. Sending supportive thoughts for your struggling.
nationalparker – Your Michelle Obama talk sounds amazing. Kudos for combining that with a walk with a friend.
Beth (bethturnaround) – Terrific that the doctor is helping you to accept that you're doing amazingly well. Yep, tortillas and chips are the bane of Mexican food.
Readers -
Quote:
day 5Eat Slowly and Mindfully
solve problems
It can be difficult to eat slowly and mindfully when you have a lot of responsibilities to fulfil. Here are suggestions for some specific difficulties (ask a friend for help with other problems). . . .
Breakfast Time. If you're too rushed in the mornings, you can do a different sort of switch. Move as many morning tasks as possible to the evening. Maybe you can shower, lay out your clothes, pack your lunch, and then straighten up the house before you go to sleep. Also, get out of bed earlier, if necessary. Make eating a proper breakfast slowly and mindfully a real priority, so that you can achieve your goal of losing weight.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 81.
CREDIT for having a salad as a snack when I wanted something more. I'm struggling now, though, because I still want something more. I also notice that I'm thirsty. So, I will let the "more" be water and herbal tea and an apple. I'm at a vulnerable place -- fatigue fueled by two stressful meetings in less than 24 hours. I survived them both -- but often it's the "after" that is the most dangerous moment for overeating. Overeating as a way to express relief? More, I guess, it's overeating as a way to tell myself "it's over" and "you're safe." Maybe even "good job." So, it would be better to say those things to myself and to celebrate with my current binge-watch show (Victoria on Masterpiece Theater) and low-key projects, like cleaning up all the messes that accumulated while I was doing other things.
stayed on plan for my restauraunt meal last night, lovely place sitting outside on a warm evening, fine dining, but food not really up to high expectations. Mine was ok but a few grumbles from others. Stuck to my plan of soda water, no bread, no appetizer, no dessert, so I just had pipee's in a sauce of some sort, and left half of them, which was plenty, but by then it was 9pm and I was ready for home! So it was quite a good evening but 5hrs drinking soda water was enough and I put my foot down and said I was taxi-ing home when the others decided they were going for another drink in the pub across the road after we left the restauraunt at about 11pm- so I stuck to my plan and wasn't tempted to deviate but it wasn't my most exciting night out ever! Work today, so perfectly happy I didn't stay out any later.
A day on plan 100% - noting it because it's rare. Credit. No real activity and not even 7K steps or at least not while I had my phone with me.
Work has gotten uber busy, and DH is very frustrated with the overtime he's having to work with no end in sight. He is very down right now and it's leaching off on me. Aiming for time to do better responses. Sorry for just showing up and not providing any support. I feel that even typing a few lines is a challenge to me tonight. Hopefully I'm in a better place tomorrow.
I was able to touch base with my cousin today and talk for about 20 minutes ... first time in months, I think. She's dear to me, but in the throes of depression and hard to reach.
Another work day--I actually went in to the office today, which I do about once a week.
I have to get better about exercise--food was according to plan. We have a monthly company meeting which is always followed by drinks/food. I did great--the fried appetizers smelled good :-) but I ate my bar and drank my water and enjoyed conversation. I'd intended to walk to the train station but my coworker who had a similar train schedule had sprained her ankle, so we left together and took a cab, since she couldn't walk it.
Then I goofed off the rest of the evening and didn't go to the gym or do my bands--I'm going to have to come up with a better plan for getting my exercise in.
I did update my ticker :-)
nationalparker: Congrats on a 100% on plan today. Major credit.
ange82much: Wow--restaurant meals are hard and you did great--and avoided the killer bread!
joy: I hope the water and tea and apple tided you over. Credit for recognizing that you were thirsty. It's amazing how sometimes thirst presents itself as hunger.
BillBlueEyes: What a joy it must be to have a granddaughter. I love reading about your days with her.
silverbirch: Good to hear you're up and around at least a little. Big credit for getting some basic exercises in!
Astonishing progress yesterday. I went out and went to a shop and the library! Then I went to the office and did a bit of financial shuffling around. The downside was that I felt I needed to eat some unmentionable stuff to keep going but, generally, I deserve credit. I also managed to do a minor bit of organisation in the sitting room which involved some crawling around under the stairs.
Today's plans include possibly doing some more shopping as food stocks are looking rather sparse. I'd also like to do a small amount of exercise. (Just writing this is making me feel shattered so I'll have to be careful.)
I think I've turned the corner!
Beth, nice plan about walking to the train station and sorry it didn't work out. Next time?
nationalparker, an on-plan day is great. And credit for managing to talk to your cousin.
Ange, good work on the soda water. I know what you mean - you can have too much of a good thing!
gardenerjoy, I recognise the eating afterwards phenomenon. I try to tell myself explicitly about it, that it's likely to happen etc but it still happens. I think a minor version of it happened when I managed to be out in the big world again yesterday. I'm impressed that just an apple will help you out. I always have it in mind that I have to eat protein with an apple and then that feels rather complicated and still not good enough.
Bill, those car seats are dreadful. I changed our car when I knew I was expecting a baby so it was easier. Glad there will be an end to cough drops. I am on pine and honey balsam which is so strong you can't speak after taking some. A review says 'arguably the best retail product available in the UK' which seems pretty amazing to me. I'd always seen it as a fairly niche product.
Friday - New Year: Year of the Dog, a Yang year (Chinese Year 4716)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Evening entertainment was a lecture on Microbial Life. Saw projections on the big screen, in real time, of live Tardigrades climbing about on the rind of a piece of cheddar cheese. They're also known as Water Bears - about the toughest form of life about. I was just flummoxed. I had known about them, but wasn't prepared for such an in-your-face demonstration.
After the lecture, a spread was served of Microbial created foods: beer, wine, breads, and cheese. The cheese had rinds which I gladly ate despite just seeing pictures of the Tardigrades that were going down the hatch at the same time. There are about one trillion different microorganisms. Obviously, only a small percentage have been identified. Every time we touch anything, we leave our own imprint of the microorganisms on our skin. Even if we've just washed our hands. It was stated that we can wash our hands then mix the dough for bread and we'll transfer enough microorganisms to make sourdough bread. Apparently that's how it started.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Interesting that after the tense meeting is a time of challenging eating.
silverbirch – Yay for astonishing progress. Crawling around under the stairs sounds like a great flexibility workout.
nationalparker – Kudos for making the effort to reach your cousin even when she's hard to reach. 100% is a good day!
Beth (bethturnaround) – Super Kudos for standing down the FREE fried appetizers.
ange82much - I need help with "so I just had pipee's in a sauce of some sort" - my Google can't identify them. Kudos, indeed for five hours of "soda water, no bread, no appetizer, no dessert."
Readers -
Quote:
day 5Eat Slowly and Mindfully
It's best to minimize distractions
when you eat,but ultimately you'll need
to learn the skill of eating mindfully
even if you're distracted.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 81.
Wednesday
Wednesday - Valentine's Day; St. Valentine beheaded (278 A.D., Rome)
