[maryann]

Good Morning, Coaches.

Great to read everyone's posts. Nationalparker: "Just showing up" on the blog is what this place is all about. It holds the power of truth and that is not something we hear or see often in media. Reaching out when I am down is an act of courage. Thanks for modeling that behavior.

Credit for being the best teacher I could be this week. Certainly not perfect but I have shown up in the face of the "down swing" I have been experiencing. Two of my girls excitedly ran in to tell me they had been accepted into UC Berkeley Bio Sci and Cal Poly San Luis Engineering These are VERY competitive schools. It is nice to witness the fruits of such determination.

Credit for ignoring the voice that dogs me with "I am still not enough. I am not as good a teacher as I should be." But this is "martha" speaking. I give her a comfortable seat somewhere in my brain. A quiet corner. She suffers as much as I do and I must treat her with respect but give her no power.

In my creative writing class the students' homework was to write down a two minute conversation they overheard. The point is to show that written dialogue must give the impression of authenticity while actually continue to spin the plot. Real conversations are most often useless, coded, subtext, casual, etc. . . That is why "reality" shows actually have to be scripted and edited.

But I digress. . .

Weight is two pounds below ticker. The new med regime seems to be slowly lifting my spirits.
Credit gym last night and, since it is jeans and department t shirt day, I am already dressed for my walk after school.

gardenerjoy: The feeling of "more" after I have finished my last bite is insidiously powerful. I like the idea of water and gum. Recently I just leave the kitchen or house. I just get out of food's way.

[gardenerjoy]

The apple and fluids worked yesterday. CREDIT for fixing tempeh sausage crumbles for lunch today even though DH was home and doesn't like the smell. I sent him to the basement. I need a packed lunch tomorrow. I can use the tempeh with just a little mayo as a sandwich filling. If I weren't prepared, I'd end up with something much less healthy from a drive-through.

[nationalparker]

Made it through the week. Credit. Home late and getting dark so no trail walk with dog - just a brief walk. Will be active both weekend days and take advantage of my time off. Setting my intention here to get that in and enjoy it at the same time. 100% on plan day today. Stringing together a couple, which feels good.

I decided to join WW after GREAT DEAL of journaling and thought. It took me awhile to get to this point because I have issues with several parts of the program (including the big business aspect - it' s not lost on many that if you lose but don't keep it off, it's better for their business ... along with the program's acceptance and actual proponent of some seriously crap food that's called "real food - enjoy real food" - No. Some of it's not "food") but I need to acknowledge that and say that's not MY thinking and get past this and use the program as it'll work with my nutritional mindset. I want to keep it close to true real food. I used the thinking that I lost weight years ago (many) and kept it off for a decade or more, and hopefully that'll be the case this time. Regardless I have been tracking the veggies and reasonable fruit amounts and feel good. Doing it online only and chose Wednesday as my weigh in day. can you tell I'm still struggling with some of the mental junk in my mind...

Silverbirch - I hope you continue to gain strength and feel much better soon. Great job at self-care!

Bill - I'll be thinking of your talk when I get a parm rind to simmer away in my soup this weekend (hopefully). What I don't know...

Beth - I was so envious to read that you can work from home most days. That is a goal of mine but is not possible (well, permitted) in my current job. Credit for staying the course - and for the steady progress!

My brother is facing a few issues but holding his own. Still in hospital for another several days. My computer is acting up. I'm shutting down and will get on in the morning, hopefully. I want to get in a few more personal notes.

[bethturnaround]

Hi all.

Another day on food plan (credit) and under-exercise. Clearly, I don't yet have a strong enough plan that I'm following through. This will take some more thought and more planning and more commitment to follow a plan once I make it.

Credits for today--weighed (down), sugar (finally stabilizing at a reasonable number), ate when I was supposed to (this is big because I'd had several days of postponing eating times and that's not a good plan)

My BFF is here this weekend--we have a lot of unplanned time, which is really nice.

nationalparker: Congrats on stringing your 100%s together!

joy: Credit for planning ahead--that's oftentimes hard to do.

maryann: It is always wonderful for a teacher to hear of her students' successes.

BillBlueEyes: I try not to think too hard about microbiology--my mind is calmer when I don't.

silverbirch: So good to hear you're feeling better!

Happy weekend, everyone!

[silverbirch]

Thanks for your encouragement, everyone. Still not out of the woods. I'm in that marshy area where I find, suddenly, that I didn't really have enough energy to do what I just did, and then I try eating something to move forward. Really, I think my body needs sleep but that's not always possible. I am doing a fair amount of just sitting when this strikes, but I'm also eating not very helpful things. I know this marshy area of old and I was addressing its difficulties when I got struck down. It might be better to sit, to eat something like a piece of fruit, and to wait. In which case, I should build in more time to everything I do. And get the planning ahead system running smoothly again. I'll be going to the farm shop this morning.

Beth, great work on eating when you should. Have a nice time with your BFF.

nationalparker, good for you, giving WW a go. Just disregard any nonsense about 'real food' if it's not real food. It's not about you.

gardenerjoy, excellent work preparing ahead to avoid a drive-through. That would be horrible.

maryann, credit for showing up. That's what I'm trying to do, so credit to me as well. Great news from those two students!

Bill, sounds like an interesting lecture, and a good approach to a spread of food.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Last night we made it out to the movie The Post. It's hard to watch a movie about events that I lived through, about characters who I've got strong notions about already. It was difficult times and Steven Spielberg, Meryl Streep, and Tom Hanks make it ever so much more dramatic. Watching the rivalry between The Post and The New York Times made me chuckle since the New York Times has recently been advertising regularly that they are the guy who released the Pentagon Papers that the movie is talking about. The movie depicts the paper being printed with movable type and poured lead. Hard to believe that that was still state-of-the-art in 1971,

Eating was OK. Once again, going out for the evening solves the problem of evening snack. I'm still doing cough drops in quantity. They aren't healthy but they keep down the coughing so that others aren't offended by my existence on the planet.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – We've never gotten tempeh integrated into our life even though I like it when it appears.

silverbirch – Extra sleep does seem to help with the flu or a cold.

maryann - Your assignment for your students reminded me of my recurring thought that if my phone were taped, the listeners would fall asleep. Kudos for recognizing "Martha" in your thoughts.

nationalparker – Kudos for recognizing that you can use WW even if you have to modify their pitch a bit. [Parm rind in soup is one of the best inventions ever.]

Beth (bethturnaround) – Yay for stabilized sugars.

Readers -

day 5 Eat Slowly and Mindfully

what are you thinking?
Do you have any sabotaging thoughts about this step in the program? If so, make Response Cards based on the relevant thoughts and responses below.

Sabotaging Thought: If I don't eat quickly, I'll inconvenience: _________
Helpful Response: It isn't reasonable for me to sacrifice my needs. I deserve to enjoy what I'm eating. I deserve to engage in healthy behaviors to reach my goals.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 82.

[curlyjax]

Hi Coaches! I’m feeling better these days. I don’t seem to be intensely grieving as much as I was initially. It seems too early for it to stop, but then again I have been grieving on and off for almost 2 years. I felt sad yesterday after watching a show that DH would have liked, but it didn’t put me into a tailspin of drying. Also I feel like my hormones are out of whack, maybe that is part of it.
Anyhow, i think I’m ready to start eating healthier again. I actually did some stretching yesterday and took a short walk the day before. Some mornings I still have this wierd nausea which prevents me from stretching, so I’m going to figure out what to do about that because my back and legs need it (again, hormonal I think).
It’s going to be baby steps. Today’s plan involves making something good with cauliflower and cheese, which is better than chips at least!

[maryann]

Good morning, Coaches.

Finally cold enough here to feel like a California February. 70 degrees felt so unnatural. I made it through the work week and now have the luxury of some hours unscheduled. Of course uncorrected papers loom but not for today The boys are on a two day camp with the scouts. It is exciting that it is on our ranch! We have some orchard right on the Sacramento river. The kids can fish, etc. . . I'm sure DH is proud.

Credits abound:
I did my walk although on a treadmill. I watched Brooklyn again and by the time it was over it was dark. It would have been easy to blow it off but I triumphed by getting myself to the gym.
Veggie scrambles for breakfast.
Weight three pounds down from ticker.
Prayer and meditation in the morning. (This went by the wayside last semester when I fell apart. I was at school every morning at 6:00. Crazy! I force myself stay home until my contracted time. For now, it is important for me to learn moderation.)
Food is planned in MFP
Taking my meds.

This last continues to be a struggle. My acceptance of the diagnosis is low. I don't think I need to take pills. I have made a commitment to DH and DS though and I will see this thing through.

For fun this morning, I will fiddle around with my new clothing app, take a beautiful walk, start another library audiobook, take a nap.

For peace of mind I will do my laundry and file the papers on my desk.

nationalparker: Congrats for settling on WW. Take what you like and leave the rest. This is how I can be a practicing Catholic which I never thought I would ever be again. But my son and husband are devout so I pray for willingness to see principle above personalities and have really found some peace and connection there. If I can be a Catholic who is a committed feminist, you can practice Weight Watchers. My girlfriend went back to WW online after years of an initial loss like yours and is now down 30 pounds.

Wave to all.

[nationalparker]

A good day so far, but thick, heavy gray skies with a bit of snow falling. Slept fairly decently last night, and got up and on the stationary bike. Credit there, and for a longer dog walk as the snow started to fall. Have done well with breakfast and lunch on plan. Not knowing what we're doing with DH's family, if anything, has me a bit frustrated. I am now assuming it's tomorrow as I've made a recipe of the spicy chicken gumbo for dinner tonight and can make that work with the white basmati rice, on plan. I've input a few of our go-to recipes into the WW planner and all but one are easy to adopt to this plan. I need to hit a few markets along with Target for a couple of items. I want to get a pair of earbuds to wear at home/on walks, and received a gift card so I'm going to find them at Target today, and treat myself.

CurlyJax - You have remained in my thoughts - I should be better about some PMs to just check in! Be prepared for your grief to be stronger some days and hopefully lighter on others. You have a tough road with trying to be strong for others and such a change of routine. These are times when I wish this group was in one city where we could come together now and again to lend a hand or shoulder.

Maryann - Thank you - I need to use what I need and leave the rest in a lot of areas of my life, I think. thank you for modeling the self-care that I skip on so often. I do take a hot bath many evenings for mental break and I do treasure that time. DH amped up the temperature of the hot water heater and now it's so much better, too.

Bill - DH and I liked The Post as well ... but he got bent out of shape that the movie blended two different presses, one that wasn't in use then (the web press wouldn't have been used with the linotype - that would have been a flatbed). I just liked the old type images Life with a pressman/printer. Glad you enjoyed it as well. I am having a hard time finding a movie to go see now with our MoviePass card. Have seen the bi ones I want to see ... but I THINK I've convinced DH to go to a movie so I can catch Peter Rabbit. It just looked cute.

Silverbirch - The wintry weather doesn't make it easier to shake a cold, either, does it? Seems like when it's sunny and summery, sitting outside in the fresh air helps more than inside air. You're right -I need to ignore what doesn't fit with my beliefs in this plan. I just got stuck mentally in the whole, "I'm financing the misinformation by signing up!"

[gardenerjoy]

CREDIT for taking a different route to avoid a place where I considered stopping for a treat. Instead, I took a scenic route to my favorite place to get a salad bar. My entire motivation was so that I could post here that I did this -- so, yay! I successfully had a salad and fruit for snacks again today.

[maryann]

Navigating some severe swings. Martha won't do down quietly. Hour by hour the day has passed. Credit. I bought the movie Up. I downloaded the screenplay and my writing class will use the two to learn how to write a screenplay. I walked when I didn't feel like it. I called and cried to an old friend so I didnt have to cry to my husband. He so often bears the brunt. Credit to give him a weekend free. Credit for veggies and tracking and now credit for kitchen closed. That is enough for anyone.

Watching Arrival. Great flick. Best sci if I have ever seen.

[bethturnaround]

We invited my aunt to dinner and DD and BFF cooked her favorite dinner. They also had cupcakes. I found the berries and the cheese on the taco ring more tempting than store bought cupcakes! However, I sat with them at dinner and just had ny soup. It wasn't that hard but I'm still recognizing that my hand wants to dart out and grab something to eat.

I'm going to get up tomorrow and go walk laps at the gym--I'll do that while the household is frying bacon!

[silverbirch]

Fell asleep for a couple of hours in the sitting room yesterday afternoon. I think I've inherited my dad's ability to do this. Tried hard to eat slowly and to eat to 80% full which worked all right for most of the day. Then I had something to eat before bedtime - which I never do. Well, today is another day.

And today I'll go to the farm shop and be in charge of tea. I think it will be something along the lines of pork chops, potatoes, apples all cooked slowly in the oven in one container. We call this a casserole but I'm not sure it's the same in North America.

Exercise - will probably do five or 10 minutes stretching and might saw up a couple of pieces of wood for kindling.

Now I've outlined my plan I am already feeling rather tired. So we'll see. The SO is at work today. He came off his bike a couple of days ago (there's an icy patch near here) and has a bruised shoulder.

Beth, I recognise that description of your hand wanting to reach out and grab something. Mine doesn't do that but it does go into the kitchen and finds something to eat at odd times.

maryann, credit for posting here on a difficult day. I hope 'Martha' will quieten down today.

gardenerjoy, credit for taking a different route and going to a salad bar. I don't think we have any in this area but I will keep my eyes open when I'm travelling.

nationalparker, sounding good on the sleep and exercise front!

curlyjax, good to hear you're getting back into stretching. And walks are always good (good reminder to me today, actually). I tried roasting cauliflower the other day and was surprised at how much I liked it.

Bill, do you have a favourite cough drop or do you buy in bulk when there's an offer? Hope the cough goes away soon.

[BillBlueEyes]

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, included stopping at a micro-library to drop off four books; I took none. The cardboard box by the front door of books to donate is slowly getting smaller. I do have a problem. One book is so outrageous that I feel it's inappropriate to donate it. It espouses some far out spiritual cause that it has "laboratory proof" is correct. Most religious books that I've encountered are easy to understand with the the clarity that you either believe or you don't. Long may they live. This one uses pseudo-science that makes no sense at all. Nor am I able to understand what spiritual notion it espouses. It's just amazing that such a book exists. We've decided to let it get recycled in the paper recycling bin. My childhood exaggerated respect for books is being thwarked here. Perhaps it's time.

Eating was Ok. Dinner was pumpkin soup with one slice of cheese toast. Snacks were under control. There is snow outside that will need to be cleared before leaving home this morning.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – The ultimate Beck Strategy - don't walk past the place that causes temptation.

silverbirch – Your casserole sounds good. My take is that we call anything in one pot a casserole, but some folks think it's only a casserole if it's connected by a white sauce. Ouch for your SO's bruised shoulder - hope it heals quickly. [I buy cough drops that are cheap. I don't believe the ingredients do anything more than keep the saliva working to soothe the throat.]

maryann - Yay for efforts to "learn moderation." I'd like a chunk of that myself. Neat to hear that your DS can find time to go camping with his Scout Troop.

nationalparker – Love thinking of your "spicy chicken gumbo" since you always mean a lot of spices. [Thanks for the input about the presses in The Post - it would be neat to understand printing presses. John W. Henry, owner of The Boston Globe, recently built a new facility to publish the Globe, the New York Times, and several other papers. It's had difficulties - enough to cause days when home delivery just doesn't happen. Maybe your DH could come out here and consult with them to get it straight.]

curlyjax - Baby steps sounds like a sane approach. Kudos for stretching - keep your body limber to take care of the snow accumulating outside right now.

Beth (bethturnaround) – Kudos for sitting through the group dinner happily having your own soup. LOL at a "hand wants to dart out and grab something to eat."

Readers -

day 5 Eat Slowly and Mindfully

what are you thinking?
Do you have any sabotaging thoughts about this step in the program? If so, make Response Cards based on the relevant thoughts and responses below. . . .

Sabotaging Thought: I'm a fast eater. That's just the way I am.
Helpful Response: Being a fast eater probably contributed to my weight gain. I can't have it both ways. I can't eat quickly and also lose weight and maintain my weight loss. Even though eating more slowly will take effort and feel unnatural in the beginning, I'll get used to it and then I won't have to think much about it.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), Pg 82.

[gardenerjoy]

Now that I've established my afternoon snack habit of salad and fruits, I'll go back to posting in the morning when I can be more leisurely about it. I can always post a second time in the afternoon if I'm struggling.

curlyjax: good for you for finding ways to take care of yourself at this time.

nationalparker: Looks like we're getting warmer, sunnier weather today -- hope you do, too. DH says we need rain so I'm not allowed to complain about how much precipitation is in the forecast.

maryann: I like Arrival and recently rewatched it twice to make sure that I was getting every thing. I turned captions on the second time to make sure that I got all the lines.

bethturnaround: excellent idea to get out of the house for a walk and to avoid the smell of bacon.

silverbirch: most of our grocery stores have salad bars, these days.

BillBlueEyes: books make good recycled paper. Some books really don't deserve to be honored.