Beck Diet For Life/Solution – September 2016 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach
 

Welcome to the discussion group, support group, Diet Coach group, Diet Buddy group relating to the two books by Dr. Judith S. Beck:and the first bookThe Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Therapy (CT).

The Complete Beck Diet for Life expands the earlier work and includes a food plan with suggested menus. From the cover:This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet buddy (coach) to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you've landed at the site of 3 Fat Chicks (3FC), a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post, can be found here.

The books are available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking their names above; buying through 3FC helps to cover the costs of running this site.

You can find the list of previous (or more current) monthly Beck threads here on 3 Fat Chicks via:

Started in advance
 

For convenience, this thread is started before September gets here. It should be ignored until then. See you when I return.

Thanks to BillBlueEyes for setting this up in advance! I woke up all motivated to start the new month right.

The problem I've been having lately is a constant refrain of "I need to do X to lose weight." And, I have a thousand Xs overwhelming. The thing is, I may be right about every single one of them. But I won't start if I try to do them all today or, even, all this month. So, I'm starting with these three daily tasks:

1. Post
2. Plan
3. Weigh

Good morning coaches,

Not sure if I'll get a post in when I'm gone. If not, this will be it until about October 19th when I get home. Food was reasonable yesterday and I got a few tidbits done, like batteries for my Garmin Vivofit, and purchased a new small purse for my trip. I know my pack weighs more than I'd like. I'll look at things with a critical eye at Sandee's on Sunday and send any extra things home with dh. Today I'll get to the fridge, which I didn't do yesterday and purchase a few things that will last for dh, like milk and butter. He doesn't really eat butter, but there doesn't seem to be any.

Well, enough of this rambling.

GardenerJoy So good to see you back before I leave. I hope things go well for you. I have really struggled especially this past month. I'm hoping my big exercise will help me get going in the right direction again. Actually I'm hoping by the time I'm home that I'm back to where I was at the end of last summer.

Take care everybody and see you next month.

Karen, I will follow your blog. I'm so excited for you!

gardenerjoy, glad you have you back.

nationalparker, kudos for lowering your ticker and continuing to follow your plan. Trying something new is so educational and when we learn we move forward.

:wave: everyone else.

I am on day 4 of trying something new. My girlfriend who is maintaining a 40# loss with weight watchers is helping me learn something new. Truth is, she wants me to do exactly what she did which is join WW and go to meetings and weigh in weekly. It would be simple if the weigh in was down the street but it's a 2 hr round trip. I'm doing ok with the pressure shes applying and will give things a week before talking with her. I recognize that my maintenance of my large loss has been great but that I need to learn some tricks to lose at my present weight. Getting help figuring out my allotted "smartpoints" has been very enlightening. I am tracking every day and it is much easier than I thought it would be. I now have the SP calculator and have written the points per serving on all food I have in my house. It makes it pretty easy for me to stay within range. One thing I was pretty sure of was that I was undereating on certain days then overeating on others; achieving maintenance. My current goal is to stay on track everyday. That required I eat a little more last night and I did. Weight still dropped this morning. Credit for being open to something new.

My DH comes home Monday. My friend will pick him up. I am trying to accomplish lots in the next few days while fighting off a cold and the lingering muscle issue in my leg/hip. Fortunately, I know how to accomplish things slow and steady. I have gotten lots of practice here. Heading outside to mow the lawn. Sunshine and fresh air should help my cold.

A busy day ahead until we leave tomorrow evening (if all goes well and we can get to where we're aiming to in Florida... supposed to go under a state of emergency this evening, so we'll see). I took a vacation day tomorrow to get everything set around the house and mow, since our neighbors mowed and now ours looks extra-high. Joy. At least the temps dropped 10 degrees.

Scale down again - 168.8 ... DH down another pound! I messed up his total somehow - he said he's down 12 even now. He said he's committing to this to get down more, further than the four weeks. I'm going to stick with it as well, but will work in other things (i.e., pizza on my birthday!) So now I'm down 6.0 since starting this 17 days ago. And all days but one, I've been full/satisfied and nothing at all that is a chemically created product. Hoping it keeps trending down a bit but know it'll bop up a bit on the weekend... Looking forward to more options in my closet before too long.

Karen - I'm looking forward to following along on your blog as well! Safe travels, stay wise and vigilant and soak it all in. What a range of experiences you've had!

Lexxiss - I was just wondering how much longer your hubby was going to be in Alaska... and he comes home to a new roof, no less! That's amazing what you do when you commit to it.

GardenerJoy - So glad to see you back here! While I'm on a different food plan this time, Beck's "Oh well" and "No choice" have been used heavily...

As I wrote yesterday, I'm dealing with an overwhelming number of Xs, as in "I need to do X to lose weight." I hoped that the determination to do three Xs -- post, plan, and weigh -- would be enough for me to have a reasonable day, but it wasn't. Sigh. I need at least one more -- no eating in the car. I keep saying that I'm going to quit doing that and then I keep doing it. The only thing I can think of that might get me to stop is to report here every day. So, I'm going to make a reporting structure below to keep track of that and some other things.

I note that Lexxiss and nationalparker are getting some good traction with new diets and that learning is part of what makes it work. I followed four different plans to lose 70 pounds. But since I've regained, I've been really reluctant to try a new diet. I think it's because I noticed that no matter what plan I'm following, I end up eating the same food. So, why go through the rigmarole? Why not just go with Joy's Mix & Match Meal Plan, since that's what I'll end up doing anyway? And, of course, the answer is that it's the rigmarole, the learning, that is what keeps me interested enough to follow the plan. Ideas: the plan in the green book, the DASH diet, Weight Watchers on-line. I'll track down the DASH diet tomorrow and see if it's something I'm willing to try.

Another thing that I'm considering is that I'm not getting enough nutrition. I've had a theory in the past that I overeat because my body is looking for something that I'm not getting. I'm eating big salads but there's not much variety in them. My best solution is to grow my own sprouts. It's been ages since I've done that. Added to a list for Sunday.

You can see how my Xs add up. Now I've got "follow a food plan" and "grow sprouts" alongside post, plan, and weigh plus never eat in the car. The thing is, I suspect I really do have to have a fair number of those Xs going or I'll just slip right off again.

Weigh-in: NA
Exercise: +60, 60/1100 minutes for September
Food: 60% on-plan
Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Refrained from eating in the car: no

Thanks for the "welcome back"s, everyone!

Have a great trip, karenrn!

A late check in by phone. Credit for staying within my point allotment today.

Gardenerjoy, I'm finding it helpful right now to use the word structure instead of diet. I'm not "doing" Weight Watchers" right now but I am using their structure which has a proven track record of success. I'm finding their weekly book to be handy for tracking. I believe it's structure that I need right now and for today it seems to be working. When I started looking for the structure 10 days ago I pulled out my old foodmover. I chose the points this time around just because it's more current than the foodmover I have.

Good Morning, Coaches.

So happy to have the time and energy to post here. Three weeks deep in my new job and threats of a strike looming have discouraged any activities beyond food prep, DS activities, PT and family time. It is a terrific luxury to read here with an expresso, protein bar and catch up with everyone.

Like nationalparker, I am thrilled to adjust my ticker down another pound. Investing in the "structure" Lexxiss was writing about is finally paying off. I began tracking W.W. points on my knock off "Smart Points" calculator on June 24. Since then I have lost 7 pounds. During that time it felt like I made NO progress. The scale seemed to jiggle up then down interminably. But now I appreciate the habit of thinking of food in terms of points cost. One more pound this month and I will be able to receive my WW lifetime perks of online codes and a "real" points calculator. Yesterday, I wore a pair of pants I put away two years ago which is the last time I was at this weight. It felt terrific.

Great to hear from Gardenerjoy. You made an important point when writing about "X" things that worked when you lost the bulk of your weight. You said it is the learning that keeps you interested in sticking to your food plan. It is the most important factor of success: open-mindedness and a willingness to change. What I know is that what worked in the past will not necessarily work in the future. Chasing the successful strategies of the past will lead me only to failure. In AA we have a saying: Many an alcoholic has destroyed herself by trying to get back across that addictive line when she drank like a "normal" person. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. The solution is as well. I know not everyone on this blog thinks in the same terms but my relationship with food is addictive. I must continually progress just to MAINTAIN my health and I must go above and beyond to lose even when my head tells me "It shouldn't be this hard." It is this hard.

When I logged in my new weight in MFP just to continue my historical record, it said that I can now eat 1200 calories to reach my goal of under 154. That is three hundred calories less than my head has told me for the last 30 years. Why? because I am thirty years older! All I can say is "Oh Well," and continue to search for solutions. I am grateful for the things that remain successful: posting here, using a smoothie or a bar for meal replacement, taking a long walk, eating one salad a day, no sweets at work. I know I can do these things.

Did Karen post her blog site? I missed it and would like to follow her.

I ran two sets of errands -- the second set completely unexpected, and mildly frustrating, because the first set of errands failed. Unexpected errands are a major trigger for eating in the car, but I NO CHOICEd it because I wanted to report that in my post today. CREDIT!

Unfortunately, that me left me vulnerable to a bit of a treat at lunch. It would have been fine, and better all the way around, if I'd saved half for today. Next time.

I started to make a list of all my Xs -- the thoughts I have that "I need to do X to lose weight." I assumed that there would be hundreds, but so far I'm up to 19. If I implemented one a week, it would take me less than five months. And, I may find that I don't need them all if I get most of them. For example, I'm feeling less of a desire for a food plan this morning now that I successfully avoided eating in the car. Maybe Joy's Mix and Match Meal Plan will be enough if I've got a good structure (thanks, Lexxiss, that's the perfect word) supporting it.

Weigh-in: NA
Exercise: +35, 95/1100 minutes for September
Food: 70% on-plan
Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Refrained from eating in the car: yes

maryann: I'm glad that you're able to find a calm moment to post. This really resonates for me right now: "It is this hard." Normal doesn't work for me. Either my understanding of normal is warped, or society's portrayal of normal is warped, or normal simply isn't right for me -- or all three. What I have to do to be healthy represents a mutiny from the Standard American Diet.
Here's Karen's trip blog: https://karenscaminosite.wordpress.com/blog/

Brief checkin from the road. Busy rushed day yesterday and I wasn't 100% on our food ... but did the best I could, including cleaning/cutting bell peppers and packaging hummus for snack in terminal and then a big salad for dinner during layover, but no time so we ate late at 9:30. Today we've had to adjust more to a less structured meal plan and figure the next two days will be the same. It's just too hard to be part of a group and not making your own food/snacks throughout the whole day. Will be off plan a bit with dinner as well tonight. Hoping to just get right back on track on Tuesday and am viewing this as a bit of "life" ... my brother bought us all tickets to a dinner theatre here for a matinee, so checked the menu and OMG key lime pie is part of the meal. I LOVE key lime pie and will really struggle to either skip it entirely or eat just a few bites and have the plate removed.

Weight dropped to 168.2 before I left town, so feel comfortable with that as my ticker weight before this trip. I hesitate to weigh in on Tuesday morning but know it's what I need to do to see how four days of not fully on plan goes and the repercussions on that.

Good morning, Coaches.

gardenerjoy: Thanks for Karen's blog's site. I have it bookmarked. Super credit for avoiding car eating.

I am adding to my "no sweets at work" at work rule. No sweets when visiting my mom and/or dad and/or brothers and sisters and/or any combination. I am driving to San Francisco to visit my brother who I helped to 5150 nearly a year ago. He has reached out to us and DH and I want to support him. But my father will be there and I had a disappointing talk to my mother last nite about the visit. I didn't sleep well and feel the blues coming on. It is what it is. Interacting with my family spawns an anxiety/depression cycle that is tough for me to handle.

What do I know?
1. It will be hard. If I have illusions that it won't be, I will be setting myself up.
2. I will not do it perfectly. I never have. The anxiety manifests as compulsive responsibility and "loop" thinking. No matter what I say or do, I will not feel good about myself. I will have to "override" this automatic response by self talk that is kind and loving.
3. Compulsively eating sugar as a way to bypass 1. and 2. will only drive me down further. So I am making a deal with myself. I will save one of the bakery cookies we are bringing to the potluck. I will put that cookie into my plan and eat it when I return home safe and sound.

Wave to all this weekend.

Oops! I didn't get around to checking in this morning. But I want to claim CREDIT for not eating in the car yesterday and for being on the track for the same today.

maryann: thanks for sharing how you've worked through the likely problems of you visit. I hope it's going better than expected!

Today
 

Coaches, Hello and Good Morning.

I'm happy to say my weight did not rise during my sister's visit. I have maintained 270.5 for many days now. Yesterday I did not have sugar and I minimized carbs which is what I need to do to bring that number down. Credit for picking up the tools of weightloss and for using them yesterday. Today I will not eat sugar and I will minimize my carbs once again.

My sister's visit has left me feeling wounded. Family of origin issues were front and center the whole time, including loss, loss, and more loss; ancient ones, current ones, childhood ones. We laid my father's ashes to rest but before we did we placed the urn facing out at us (me, my sister, my cousin and her BF) and we read The Cremation of Sam McGee by Robert Service to my dad. When I went to see him right before he died, he and my sister spontaneously recited this poem, word for word, in the hospital room. I will never forget it. His favorite quote is in that poem "a promise made is a debt unpaid" which gives me shivers for how heavy that is. Tears came to my eyes and I felt like I was the only one so moved, but I think it was more the case that if we started to cry, we might never stop. Addictions are a terrible thing. He was an active alcoholic and for all the promise he held, for his nimble creative and inventive mind, for his humour and his gentle nature, nothing prevented or stopped the progress of his alcoholism. In the end he was sober for about 9 years and he was filled with remorse and regret. I am very glad I saw him last October.

The pictures we took at the graveside of my sister, my cousin, and me, show me pretty much at my worst. These days I take a great picture or I take a horrific one. These were, every single one of them, the latter. I don't even look at the pictures I take of me. My sister posted one on facebook of us all causing one of her friends, who I also know well, to tell her to tell me to "give a sh*t" about my appearance. I wanted to tell her "I was trying" as I was but the top I had brought was too tight when I tried it on and I left my hair down when it should have been up cause the cut has grown out too much and I am, literally, twice the size of my sister and my cousin. Weight-wise, close to 2x what each of them weigh and the pictures clearly show it. It's easy for me to live in a bubble somewhat to hide how I feel from myself. I find the friend's comments very hurtful, and that my sister told me was her way of telling me that but not actually saying it herself. She is also tired of telling me to pull myself together physically. And me? Well I am tired of fearing these comments, of living with these comments, of ignoring, internalizing, rationalizing these comments cause whatever I hear I say 100x worse to myself and doubt I can ever change a thing. So. Is this my "food bottom" to borrow a term from AA/OA? Could be. I have no denial right now of where I am at. A few things are great and getting better and other things are a complete mess. I'm ready to change and appreciate the strength, the example, and the words of those here who take action daily to improve their lives. Thanks again.

I didn't manage to write a plan yesterday, but what I ate was close to what I would have written. I didn't eat in the car. I was tempted to buy the sort of thing I would have eaten in the car and eat it outside. But, I didn't do that, either, because it didn't feel in the spirit of what I wanted to report here.

Today, if all goes as planned, I won't be in the car -- that will make it easy to not eat there!

Weigh-in: NA
Exercise: +25, 160/1100 minutes for September
Food: NA% on-plan
Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Refrained from eating in the car: yes

onebyone: great to see you back after your sister's visit. Her friend's comment is hurtful and shows a complete misunderstanding of what it means to live with addiction. I'm glad that you find solace here. I do, too. And, you're a huge, important part of that solace for me. Your struggle that, so often, matches mine word-for-word. Your remarkable insight to that struggle. Your persistence. Your dedication to your art. Your sense of humor. You're my hero, onebyone.