Good morning coaches,

It's supposed to be cooler on Monday and Tuesday morning than today, so I went for a walk rather than a hike with the backpack. Credit for the hike and food within calories yesterday. I'll hike tomorrow and Tuesday, one day with a backpack. Friend Carrie and I will do a one night backpack in the Santa Rita Mountains south of Tucson on Thursday/Friday. It's between 5000 and 9000 feet so will be a bit cooler than we are here.

I've turned the air conditioner to cool the house to 75 (usually it is at 78) and I'll do housework when I finish here. Dh is golfing, so I can be finished by the time he gets home and then we'll have some pool time again.

Lexxis I can't imagine needing to gain weight. Sounds fun though, unless a person was sick.

Bill Good luck on the car purchase. What a chore. One of our friends owns a Subaru dealership in Auburn, WA that is a "no dicker sticker dealership". He's been very successful because people hate the dickering.

Ennay Sounds like you made some good compromises last night. I love Indian food also and love to go when I've been hiking so much that I can eat what I want.

Onebyone It is hard for me to imagine your weather when I'm having to turn the air conditioner to cooler in order to comfortably do housework. Sounds like Bill had a good idea for your tent. I hope you can make it work without much trouble. You know some days I know it isn't a good idea for me to get on the scale because it will be too demoralizing, especially if I know it's likely water weight and I'll make worse choices knowing the higher weight. I hope you have nice visits at the potluck.

Waving to Nationalparker, Maryann, Sandy and Curlyjax. And now I shall do the housework!

In a few hours
 

Coaches

Weighed (credit) and saw I was up 1.3lbs to 267+. Salt. Water retention. Stress and aggravation. Oh well.

So far today I am on plan. Credit.

My plan of action for the BBQ this afternoon will be to have one plateful, not overfull, of food. To drink water. To eat veggies. Maybe half of my plate veggie dishes, 1/4 meat, 1/4 dessert or starchy stuff. One plate only and savour it. I will make that my plan.

I am still feeling aggravated after yesterday and I think I need to write the board of the market a letter, asking them to enforce the staking down and weighting down of market tents. Last night I was ready to never go back to any market. To just stop doing this art thing. Just stop and do something else. Being your own boss in any field is not easy. Having to be an artist, on any kind of scale where you make your "bread and butter" items and aspire to make Fine Art with a capital A, all mixed together in the same week where you are also required to take care of business, well, it feels like too much for me today. Usually I don't notice. Usually the challenges, all of them, are very interesting to me. And the alternative, working somewhere and what you need to do to do that seems highly unattractive. And I can teach but don't enjoy it much, well in the moment of teaching I do but afterwards I get deeply unhappy so that isn't a solution for me. But, I'm not feeling like throwing in the towel now, after some time has passed. I just really won't be at the market on a windy rainy day. That's all. Especially now with a damaged tent, that I, hopefully [thanks BBE for the heads up re: worm gear clamp (new phrase for me) and the idea of a "sister rod" (a new concept for me.)] can still use.

Sorry my mind is still there! Better go. We'll be leaving soon enough.

Maryann: thanks for looking at my artwork. Sorry you lost your post :(

Good Morning, Coaches.

I am now officially a high school English teacher starting next year. I have less than a dozen days on this contract. I am very excited with the new position. But I am grieving leaving my school of 20 years behind but I can walk through this without using food as a crutch. I'd rather be thinner.

I had a long talk with DH today about my concerns about my weight gain. I am ten pounds higher than I was two years ago. That is the WRONG direction. He reminded me that for the last year I had been nearly bed ridden for three months, was in continuing PT, and began menopause. He said ten pounds could be considered a victory. OK. I reframe things. Now is the time to lose those ten pounds. I have summer coming up and physically, I am much better. I can do this. It begins with the Beck steps and with making health a priority. I thought about a personal trainer but I can't really trust anyone in this small town to not wont undo all the good the PTs have done. So I must trust myself. Move everyday. Continue with healthy food. Post here. Sit down when I eat. Get off my back with judgement. I will take my new bike for a ride today.

KarenRN: I echo your thoughts. I need to become more rigid. Make a plan. Stick to the plan. It sounds so simple doesn't it. I think about the people I know who have lost weight and maintained it. And YES, they are extremely rigid - to the point that I make fun of them. Maybe I need to stop making fun of them and start imitating them.

Ennay: Injuries are very frustrating to me. At my age and with last year's physical issues, I have opened the door wide to count anything that gets me moving - shopping the mall, easy walks, even my work day equals 7,000 steps. The fitbit has really helped me with this.

BBE: I see your blueberries and raise them with 20 pounds of fresh cherries 2.50 a pound. We will eat them all week and then I will pit them and freeze for smoothies. Cherry season here is a tiny window. We wait for it all year.

Lexxiss: I need to continue to remember how it use to be when I was over 200 pounds. No clothes that fit, chafing, and turning red when I exercised.

onebyone: I, too, am an emotional eater. I wish there was a way to retrain myself. Why can't I be an emotional singer?

I've been MIA and finally am done with one project and out of town at the other big event. I'll be on the road for 12 days. This is the only trip I ever truly unpack and put clothing in closet and drawers. Otherwise I end with a ball of stuff in each suitcase. Not the best food today, but have been up 18 hours and I'm weary and going to hit the sack before long, but too early will mean I'm up at 2 a.m. PT.

Bill - Highly urge you to enroll in Consumer Reports if you don't already - great reliability, safety ratings available. DH is a big one on making a smart decision in cars and does a LOT of research. I wanted a smaller, more sporty car ... and ended with a CRV that I LOVE - 35 mph on highway and easy to throw in the gardening and camping stuff. So I said, well, when the safety and reliability of the Veloster improves in a few years, I'll buy a used one 10 years down the line hahaha... :)

Decided on an omelet at the airport partway through my day as brunch ... I just counted it and the hash browns as 1000 calories and will plan to start the healthy eating tomorrow. I chose soup/salad from Panera for a later dinner). I was chatting with the young woman prepping my meal as they were slow ... she then gave me double baguette as a nice gesture. I'm saving it for breakfast with some natural local peanut butter I bought. I can handle that. If I didn't have the pb, I would have settled on eating it tonight just because it's here.

My arms are painful from all the hauling stuff around. I will ice them here in a few minutes. What happened with one arm has also happened in the other - just acute tendonitis - can't remember what the MD called it but need to try to relieve the swelling and pain tonight.

Weight when I left town was 173. Goal is to return home below that. I wanted to bring my fitbit zip and forgot it.

OK - just saw a story on the news that has reset my worries - i am not facing cancer, I'm not parenting a child with a short lifespan ... I can get through this! :)

Joining you, Karen and Maryann, at being more rigid. I just need to commit and do it. But then I find that I think, everything in moderation. But the key is I'm not getting in enough of the veggies to allow the treats. Disappointed to find my usual Panera salad is gone and their suggestion for a sub was less-than-stellar. So I will think through some other good options for healthy salad with protein for dinner tomorrow night in case I can go alone.

Monday - Marie Antoinette marries the future King Louis XVI (France, 1770)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Did OK, CREDIT moi, at a family dinner of 14 folks that had way too much food. (Way too much because I brought it and I seem to have a volume estimation problem when providing food for a gathering.) Besides the green salad and grilled veggies, I ate a bison burger - thanks to Whole Foods from a distributer in the "high plains" of Colorado. It felt seriously healthy - enough to remind me that zero fat isn't as tasty as a small amount of fat. I directed the dispersal of leftover salmon and uncooked bison so that it all didn't end up in my fridge. I left ALL chocolate covered almonds and all the cherries with the family with two teenagers. The only food that followed me home will make one meal.

Went out looking for birds. A few more warblers are passing through. Did only half our standard Sunday walk, CREDIT moi - half for a convoluted set of reasons.


onebyone – Good strategy, "One plate only and savour it."

Debbie (Lexxiss) – There really is benefit to the brain from writing down something on paper. Electronically recording information just doesn't have the same impact for me. Kudos for making sane decisions at the 'miners dinner.'

High School English Teacher maryann - Congrats on your official new job. Super Kudos for figuring out how to stop beating up on yourself over weight. [Drooling over your cherries.]

nationalparker – That's a long road trip. Kudos for planning your food through airports and the hotel. [Thanks for reminding me to use my Consumer Reports subscription of look over cars.]

Karen (karenrn) - Sounds like a neat strategy to lower the air conditioning as incentive for housework.

Readers -

I let my birthday week pull me away from all of my healthy habits. Sigh. I remind myself that I've done much, much worse. But I've done better, too, in recent years and I would have preferred better this year.

Here's something that I'm glad I learned during my birthday week so that I don't have to learn it some other week. I bought three different packages of flavored nuts that a recent health newsletter recommended. Of course, they're only healthy if you eat the correct portion size. It turns out that I can't stay out of them once the package is open. CREDIT for putting the last unopened package in a food pantry bag that the mail carrier picked up on Saturday.

Onward! Thanks, y'all, for being here!

Good Morning, Coaches.

Woke up a little blue this morning. I really don't want to write that, but it is the truth. Two weeks left on my school contract and I feel the weight of guilt from leaving this place, or the weight of leaving my AA group, or the weight of leaving confirmation class ( I turned in my resignation yesterday). Maybe it is less guilt and more just adrift or fear of the new. Whatever it is, the scale this morning says I haven't lost a pound in five months. How is that possible with all the brain power I have thrown at this addiction? Last nite at mass I prayed "Relieve my of the bondage of self." What that feels like this morning is that I am my own worst enemy in regards to food. Then I look around and realize the majority of people are battling the same food demons. Most people are overweight. Gardenerjoy talked a lot about the food industry last year. I have to remember that we are the most assaulted population ever in terms of media and marketing. Food is engineered to be addictive. OK here are my credits:

I haven't gained anything in five months.
I exercised four days a week for the last two weeks.
I have been completely free of gluten, dairy, eggs, and peanuts for the last three weeks.
I would put sweet free at work for seven months but I had a small bag of Haribo Gummies. Still - pretty good considering what staff rooms look like these days in terms of food so credit.

School ends the first week in June. I am seriously considering joining Weight Watchers for the summer but until then i will log my food into MFP.

Wave to all.

gardenerjoy - I hear you on the nuts. Nuts are probably one of our little on-going arguments here at home. DH always puts them on the shopping list and I tell him I don't want them in the house. Because I work from home and they are one of my mindless foods and when I do crave them I will use too many. And they trigger cravings for things like cereal and oatmeal. "Oh but they are healthy". sigh. So is almost everything else that made me fat, but they do so much damage so fast. And he has NO idea. I watched him dish out a portion of nuts for our kids and asked him how many servings/calories he thought he was giving them in his "small amount". He thought maybe 200. I weighed it and it was 4 ounces - 800 calories of nuts.

He is skinny and naturally self regulating. It is one of the things I don't totally agree with the book. He rarely watches what he eats, pretty much eats what he wants when he wants. But his weight has been stable within a few pounds for 35 years. Why? Because when he over eats one meal, he just simply isn't hungry the next day (whereas if I overeat I am hungrier). If he sits all day driving he doesnt eat because he is not hungry (road trips make me starving!) Although I noticed when he went to the store the otherday he snuck in a big dessert. Which I am fine with, I am grateful he ate it in the car and tried to hide the evidence. He has been eating a LOT more sweets since I have been back to eating healthy because he is probably HUNGRY with my healthy meals! The most mindful he has ever been about diet was to cut back to 1 beer with dinner when his pants got a little snug.

maryann I take it you are moving? Congrats on the new job and the new adventure! And your credits list is very very impressive!

my yesterday credits...weighed and logged, ate in control, got in a walk after dinner

I've been struggling with motivation in other areas of my life. Too much procrastination and mindless drivel. Tried jumpstarting today with a walk - I'll see how that affects my eating window. Right now I am sleepy!

Good morning coaches,

Just got back from Bell Pass with the backpack. It was a little cooler today, so that was great. Credit for the hike and for food within calories yesterday. I cleaned the bathrooms yesterday and all the floors. Today I'll do the dusting because dh had so much stuff on the top of his dresser I didn't feel like dealing with it all. I've gotten him to thin in out to make it easier. Geez he needs another drawer for all that stuff, or throw half of it away. He is more of a saver than I am. He even saved the burlap bag that the coffee came in that we purchased in Peru . . . really?

I don't have much planned for my day today other than the plumber coming to reseat (?) the toilet. I think it's fine, but want to be sure. I think I'll also start getting things together for the backpack later this week. It's amazing how much time I can waste just puttering around.

Ennay My husband has to watch it and I think that makes it easier for me. He doesn't like keeping things in the house that are tempting any more than I do.

Maryann I can totally see how you would be a little blue. Although the changes you are making are positive, they are losses as well. The loss of familiarity if nothing else. You're off to new adventures and possibilities. It's probably best to feel the feelings rather than stuff them, but you know best what is right for you. One of my friends, a former co-worker, just lost about 60 pounds on WW in about a year. She is down to her goal weight and feeling good.

GardenerJoy A belated Happy Birthday to you. I think the video you posted last week is a good one to think about; how far have you come? A long way. Here's to getting back at it.

Nationalparker I hope you can have a little fun at your long big event. Will your days be horribly long, or will you actually get a little sleep?

Okay, so it's Monday morning. Everybody knows that's my favorite day of the diet week. Fresh starts and all of that. I'm going to challenge myself to stay within my calories and no alcohol and no sweets until 5/26. That is only 10 days. Our niece and her husband are coming to visit for 5 days at that time and it seems very doable. Heck, last spring I went a couple of months. I need to do something to tighten things up enough so that I start heading down just a little. I weighed 142 this morning and I would love to get to 135. In order to do that I must make some changes.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Credits for today - breakfast in room was healthy enough and within calories. Lunch was a deli spread and I chose the smallest bread and made two minis with lettuce/tomato/pickle on each to amp them up. I don't care for sandwiches much - they're never my choice, really ... well, except for the unhealthy ones, i guess. Anyway dinner tonight was soup/salad. No snacking all day at all. Was urged to eat a cupcake a few times, but resisted. Credit for buying a banana to add to my breakfast tomorrow morning. I figure I can eat in my room to save money on our work budget. If I buy in the hotel, it's $13 before tip for the cold breakfast bar (fruit/cereal/juice).

Demerits - I could have bought and eaten just the soup. If I'm on my own, I'll do that again tomorrow. I wanted to try a new small salad flavor and it was ehhh... They forgot the dressing and just gave me the bbq sauce so I saved those calories and ate 2/3 of it. It was the panera half and half. I NEVER used to order the half and half until I gained weight. I used to be completely satisfied with just the cup of soup. This made me think tonight - I was fine, but still went ahead and ate most of it. WHY? I think I was worried that I didn't have anything else if I wasn't full from dinner. I have snacks that I bought - popcorn that is light, etc.

Maryann - Your words today resonated with me. I am so often my worst saboteur. I think I figured since dinner was paid for, why not splurge and get the half and half. Why do we fight our own selves so much? Why do I set myself up to fail? If I had to watch what a parent/child was eating for their health, I certainly wouldn't try to urge them to eat more than they wanted or needed. I wouldn't say, "try the salad, too ... it's only 240 calories." I would say pick which sounds before tonight and we'll try the other tomorrow night. So why is keeping me healthy not as important as keeping someone else healthy. I look at my life and do other things the way I'm supposed to - I set aside a healthy portion of income for retirement, I purchase and prepare nearly all "clean" close to natural foods, I drive wisely, I work hard, I work at being a supportive wife and a caring friend. But I just cannot seem to nail this aspect of my life and it hurts me. My psyche. My actual body.

Nine more days until I'm back home. All actually went well with the event planning today.

Ennay - I wanted to pop in with one place that I'll spend more money on an item to have it prepackaged for me, is in nuts. I will spend the extra money on the 100 calorie packs because we like them. I try to buy them when they're on a good sale. I also leave them in my car for a necessary snack ... when I'm running errands and need a small boost - I'd rather have 100 calories of something healthier than more calories of something that I'm spending more money on for less nutrition. No, I don't have stock in the Emerald 100-cal packages hahah :)

Coaches/Buddies

Credits for today - weighed, logged, food reasonably on plan - again meal by meal. I feel like the last couple days my calories and macros are on, but my food choices aren't as nutritious as they have been. Got my walking in. Got some decluttering in. One bigger one is my current favorite treat are these dark chocolate pretzle things. Each one is 25 calories, 5 is considered a serving. Yesterday I had enough extra calories to have 5 and realized that peak enjoyment is 2-3. After that, I'm not getting as much joy. So tonight I had 2 even though I had the calories for more.

Maryann/nationalparker yes here on the sabotage as well. I will eat TO cause myself pain.

Tuesday - First Kentucky Derby (Churchill Downs, KY, 1875)
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked, CREDIT moi, back from class feeling the chill. I'm in my so-ready-for-summer mindset that I'm offended by any traditional New England weather variations.

Food was OKish, CREDIT moi. I fell for an afternoon snack that wasn't planned. Fortunately, it was of proper size for a snack. The evening snack was freshly cut fruit salad - one of my favorites.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Happy Birthday (however belated)! Super Kudos for sending away that package of nuts.

maryann - You are doing more transitions in a few months than even teenagers go through. Kudos for cutting yourself some slack to move forward.

nationalparker – Kudos for continuing to be mindful of eating during the long hours of your event. Avoiding that large hotel breakfast spread is a smart move.

Karen (karenrn) - Yep, I agree, Yay for Monday mornings. Whatever happened last week is done.

ennay - Welcome to the Nuts Club where a little goes a long way toward eating more. Congrats for being able to live with a DH who has maintained his weight for 35 years.

Readers -

with you on tightening things up a bit (long post!)
 

Coaches

Yesterday's weighing in was foiled by my wii fit's controller being placed in its charging station wrong so it didn't work when I needed it to. No matter. I weighed just now and saw a rise of 0.3 to 267.9 In the two weeks we've had in May I have gained 4.9lbs from the start. Now, I need to remember that I have also started the farmers' market and if stress does things to me well, that was stressful. For sure. Plus there were a few events and so, really, I am saying that for the coming two weeks+3days in May, which includes my mega Dr. visit on the 25th, I want to join all of you who have voiced a desire for less wavering off plan, more rigid adherence to being on the plan of your choice. Yes, I need to stop making the small exception, the faint excuse for my behaviour. That is not the clear path down the scale. That is the way of the roller coaster ride which is what I have been on. I need some success again. I am losing the confidence that I know how to lose weight again.

And, here's a surprising off-topic thing that happened! I went on a special outing with my art business class last night to a "makerspace" just north of me. It opened in February and is a not-for-profit (love those) organization where they have a whole bunch of tools for the public's use if you become a member there. They are part business/part maker. You can use their office space with shared desk and computers printers etc. And/or you can use their 3D printers (three of them), their laser cutter (I will be on this ASAP), and then in the workshop area they have a computer controller router which can handle a 4' x 8' sheet of lumber. So.... I had to remind myself that DaVinci used and indeed created tools for his own artwork so there is no need to be a "purist" and no need to hold the digital helping hand at bay. In fact I use computer generated images that I have modified to get me from point A to B quicker, my one caveat being I had better know how to do that stuff without a computer. I refuse to be reliant on it. But it sure is a time saver, which DH reminded me are what tools are supposed to be. So this router, that can handle a sheet of plywood, and that you can program to cut at whatever depth you decide ie. not through the wood, well that is awfully close to carving a block of wood with gouges, as I do now, for a woodblock print. Wow. I could use it to make my first cuts and then work on it by hand afterwards. This blew my mind for two major reasons. 1) what the heck would a machine/my hand print look like aesthetically? Is there a project in itself that I could do to explore this? 2) there is enough space there for me to actually work on a 4' x 8' piece of wood!!! And they are open to me carving And printing in that space. I found myself voicing a desire to teach people what I know there. An enthusiastic group of learners with no fear of sharp tools and desire to make things sounds exactly right to me. This was the first thing I have encountered in a few years of being here that has me truly excited. When I came home to tell DH he got excited to because he needs to cast cartridge cases for the Vectrex games he has created. This makerspace might (finally) be something that brings us closer together. And, on top of all this? The guy I was talking to was a dead ringer for my brother who died in 2013. He looks like him, he makes things and knows things like my brother did, and I just felt at home. You just never know what can happen when you step out that door and go somewhere new.

On plan, yesterday -- w00t!

onebyone: Love the sound of that maker space and all that you can do in it. I just gave myself permission to use tools on a much lower level. I got myself drawing templates for my birthday. I decided that if I haven't learned draw a 5-pointed star in 54 years, that it's probably not going to happen. So, I'll use a template and move on!

onebyone - that sounds awesome!!!

gardenerjoy - :bravo: for a good OP day!