I am totally fried this morning. Consecutive meetings of counselor, AA and psychiatrist were important but difficult. Then DS' last concert as a middle schooler. I am not good at so much emotion. Food was nothing planned and all over the place but few enough in calories to show a drop to two pounds above ticker. I have two weeks till summer. It is my gold to reach ticker by the end of school and then start the losing process with renew vigilance and exercise this summer.
Hope for personals tomorrow.
Thanks for participating. This blog is life saving to me.
Wrapping up the workday in the next two hours. I wanted to check in here briefly. OP for the most part, my dessert at lunch counted for the breakfast I didn't eat ... at least in my mind it did. Food was small portions and I'm very hungry now. I was hoping to get out earlier but not looking like it's going to happen. Oh well, as Bill says, I'm physically comfy. Just mentally and physically weary. I'm worried about not waking up with the vibrating alarm bc I tried it at home one time and it didn't rouse me, and if I'm late for work at home, it's not a big deal. If I'm late here, it's huge. I'm afraid to chance it again. Even now I have both phone alarms set.
Credits weighed and logged, planned dinner and got it going early, OP for food. Was a little more "nibbly" with food during prep than I have been. Need to keep that in check.
I am crazy itchy today, just itchy everywhere. I don't think my skin is particularly dry.
Saturday - Birth of Plato, philosopher (Greece, 427 B.C.)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – On plan food for the day, CREDIT moi. I carefully measured my lunch portions. Of late, I've taken to putting the containers on the tray because "I know how much I eat." Well, a nearby container allows volume consumed to swell pretty easily.
Not much walking; we're busy preparing the house for a group of guests on Sunday. Preparing means that all my stacks of papers and books and whatnot have to disappear. I told DW that when my ship comes in, I'll buy a house twice as big and use the new space only for visitors so we don't have to declutter each visit. She wasn't impressed, suggesting that one purpose of visitors was to force cleaning up and that my plan would allow the house to fall into total chaos. I bet that Queen Elizabeth didn't have to pick up Buckingham Palace when the Obamas dropped by.
maryann - That is a lot of emotional stuff in one day. Kudos for making it through.
nationalparker – I share that fear of not waking up in a hotel. It works for me to have the front desk make a wake-up phone call because they keep calling until I answer (OK, in modern speak, the phone computer, not the 'front desk'). You've made it one more day.
ennay - Yep, "nibbly" can easily sneak up. Kudos for OP for food.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6 Family Traps
#2: The Rebel Trap
Mia said she felt much more comfortable and confident with her eating because she had a plan and knew she would be equipped to handle the difficult parts. She recorded how happy she felt in her memory journal and what she had done to make the weekend such a success. She carefully saved her list for her next trip home.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 113
Food and exercise on plan the last couple of days. Not hard to stay within calories with 3 to 5 hours of backpacking. Our trip was a success. It was cooler the day we hiked up the hill and a little warmer yesterday when it didn't matter so much. We hiked up from about 5000 feet to 8700 feet and set up camp. Then we hiked up to the top of Mt. Wrightson at 9453. The trail was just up, up and more up, but nicely graded the whole way. I carried 4 liters of water in case we didn't come across any, but there was water at the spring near 8400 feet or so.
One of the purposes of the trip was to see how Carrie did at elevation because she has had problems in the past and we will be hiking at elevation on the John Muir Trail in July. She did well. No headache until above 9000 feet and it was resolved with a couple of Ibuprofen. Other than that my sleeping pad was punctured by the rocky ground right at bed time. My sleep wasn't great on that hard somewhat rocky ground, but oh well it was only one night.
Weather here is supposed to be pleasant this week, not too hot. I've got to do a little catching up around here and probably pool time with dh this afternoon.
Phone check in. Did nothing but be a good mother today. Help DS cook. Ferried around a friend for him. Dinner is prepped. Oh and I watched a super sappy " The Choice." In my next life time I will choose to be flawlessly beautiful while lit in technicolor just to see what it would be like. My suspicions are that I would be no happier but I can't prove it.
BBE's container chat reminded me of a trick I will try. I am goin to buy a lean cuisine or something like that and save the plate. I'll reuse it with dinners to get a handle on my portions.
Hi. Perfect Saturday weather. Market was hopping with looky-loos. It's what happens up here in Canada when the first good weather weekend comes, and even more so when it's the first long weekend. So all that to say only a couple of small sales today. The handmade tagine collector who bought my friend's tagine last weekend came back to report he made a.duck dish in it and he loved it. He was very happy with his purchase. Interestingly, he said the tagine was enough for him. It was perfect for one person. My friend said she considered it to be the size for 4 people. interesting. I could see it both ways.
I was exhausted this morning after a.short night of sleep. I spent 10 hours yesterday at the makerspace learning the software for the laser cutter and then watching it create my work in a new way and in a new medium. My first one, a moose brooch with dangly legs, well when I saw it my eyes welled up with tears. I felt like I would have my old friends.aroundme again and I felt relief that they could.be created.with so much less work and wear and tear on my hands. I have osteoarthritis in the joint at the base of my thumb from using scissors daily for about 20years. I am conscious of protection g my joints now as I only get older. This laser business could be a real game changer for me.
Foodwise. 60%. Erring to the good. Small drops this week. 267.something early this morning.
Like gardenerjoy, these days I am just trying to not lose it altogether but make each day an improvement over the last. It will come.
Credits - weighed and logged, food good, went out to dinner, made good choice. Did not eat much the dessert because I wasn't enjoying it as much as it calorically cost. Got in a long walk.
onebyone glad you had such nice weather and the makerspace still sounds awesome!
karenrnwelcome back!
billblueeyes - I sometimes wonder if I need guests more often or never at all for exactly that reason.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked, CREDIT moi, to the local pharmacy to buy the over-the-counter allergy tablets recommended by my DS (Claratin). They were on sale; I had a coupon from DW for 20% off; and I have a card that gets 20% off of some items. I brought it all to the register and watched the clerk trying to figure out which discounts were separate and which could be added. Glad that I wasn't in a hurry to get somewhere else.
Food was on plan, CREDIT moi, with lunch properly measured because it was my beloved peanut butter, banana, and pecans on whole wheat sandwich bread ends. Most of the stuff that I had to pick up for today's guests is out of sight - just one more table to go. And that has been organized into three stacks ready to be put somewhere.
onebyone – Huge Congrats for learning the laser cutting software. Will you always have access to the machine? Yay for small goals, "make each day an improvement over the last."
maryann - Neat idea to use a diet-food-plate to calibrate portions. Thanks for the heads up about The Choice - in case DW tries to get me to go see it, LOL.
Karen (karenrn) - Love your mention of John Muir since in the play we saw last night, RooseElvis, John Muir has an imagined conversation with Teddy Roosevelt. Ouch for a punctured sleeping pad at 8700 feet. Congrats for reaching the summit of Mt. Wrightson.
ennay - Kudos for recognizing that you weren't enjoying the dessert "as much as it calorically cost" and then stopping. I've had to ask myself why I just finished something that wasn't so great; I need to work on that skill.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6 Family Traps
Escape the Rebel Trap
When it comes to rebellion, you can be your own worst enemy (you, and not anyone else, because you're in control of every bite of food you put in your mouth). When you tend toward self-sabotage, the best overall strategy is to continually question your unhelpful thinking and remind yourself, "If I do this, whom will my overeating actually affect? Won't I really just be hurting myself? What does my adult mind say about this?"
Remember that you've grown up and you are now responsible for making your own food decisions. It's up to you whether you let difficult family interactions affect your eating.
Keep in mind that it doesn't matter if you eat in secret or in front of other people. If you take in too many calories, you'll gain weight. Your body registers every bite.
Read your reminder cards whenever you're tempted to rebel by eating.
Give yourself credit for dealing with your rebellious self-sabotage.
Note your successes over self-sabotage in your memory journal.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 113
hi coaches-a quick wave to say hi. DH is back in hospital- he has been feeling so awful and eating close to nothing. His electrolytes weren't quite right so they are treating that. Our oncologist happened to be on call and stopped by to help which was great. I don't think she realized how weak he was. He should be starting treatment this week hopefully- they were still trying to figure out the right medication. It has taken so long to diagnose this!!
I reached out to ask for help from some people and am suprised how few people have responded with even just an email of sorry to hear this. I'm grateful for the few that did but makes me realize again how few real connections i have here. I knew some of these folks from when the kids were little and involved more in activities, but i guess i am off their radar. ah well- i will be reaching out to my church and they should be more responsive.
i do feel a little bitter about all the tough things we have had to deal with and now this-it seems like it should be spread around a little more
well, just feeling sorry for myself. Our family has been great, and the few friends i have, have been wonderful.
And so grateful for all the medical professionals out there who are so kind, it gives you faith in human beings!!
Checking in to check in. Been listening to the diet trap book on audiobook in my car on my commute during the week -- it's a way to listen to the ideas when I sometimes am feeling too stubborn to read. Found a good casual book to read though, and trying to work on my stress/happiness as it relates to my eating this week. Work stress got to me last week and I let weekend eating happen. Have been working on eating sitting down and planning meals. Planning to be more proactive this week about my health & happiness -- I think I'm tending towards depression lately and I really want to handle that myself, as I haven't reacted well to medication in the past. Made a checklist this morning of all my daily things I should do, including reading my ARC cards etc. Determined to have a happier week ahead.
curlyjax I am so so sorry that you and your DH are going through all of this!!! I wish I were nearby to offer to help. So sorry that you're not finding support in your community - that sounds so frustrating. So glad to hear that you are encountering some helpful medical professionals though. Will keep you all in my thoughts. Glad to see you checking in.
curleyjax: Your story of how few people responded when you asked for support reminded me of my husband's favorite saying: In the end, you can count on one hand how many real friends you have. I add: but those few always feel like "enough." I left a support group I attended for 25 years and only three people have kept in contact but those three fill me up. And yes, it seems like all the pain you have been given recently should be spread out a bit. It is hard to accept life on life's terms sometimes.
lizardnumbers: Many times I check in just to check in. it is great practice especially during the blues. I feel those often.
onebyone: so excited for you that you have found a new creative space. Very important stuff.
ennay: You and I both enjoyed a long walk. Research says, there is nothing better.
BBE: At some point in my life I took up "couponing" as a hobby but couldn't stand watching cashiers floundering anymore.
As for me, I took some steps to get out of drama (credit), drank my smoothie early in the day so I ate less throughout the day (credit), and have planned a family bike ride. (credit).I am really trying to make exercise of some sort a part of my daily life.
curlyjax, I'm so sorry to hear about your DH and to hear that so few people have responded to you. Fingers crossed that his treatment starts this week. And it's quite all right to feel sorry for yourself a bit. Of course it is.
Curlyjax I am so sorry to hear about what you and your family are going through. I hope treatment is soon and with excellent results. I agree with Maryann's husband that we may have many acquaintances, but true friends are a much smaller number.
Bill I will say that your entertainment is certainly varied. You have so much to choose from and seem to get out a lot. We are much more home bodies. Maybe once my husband retires it will be different. I hope so. Perhaps then we won't be waking up at 4 a.m. and can take in some evening entertainment.
Onebyone How exciting that you are already able to use the makerspace. It seems almost a miracle that the work can be done with so much less toll on your body.
Maryann I hope your planned family bike ride was a go. You have a new bike, don't you?
My sister in law is down from Washington for 2 days to see her 2 children and 4 grandchildren. She and her son came over for lunch today and it is always so nice to see her. We will be up to their house in July. I was glad to have her son come over as we named him as a trustee on our trust if both of us die and my brother has died. He's youngish (30), level headed, and he lives here. I was able to show him where things are. It feels good to "TCB", take care of business as my husband says.
I had a nice 5 1/2 mile walk this morning and food has been close to plan today although I didn't end the day yesterday too well. I had lots of calories left over from Thursday. I suppose if I take it for the week I was still fine. Afraid to step on the scale this morning though. Tomorrow I will get on the scale and then hike Bell Pass with my backpack.
The weather here is divine today, 85 degrees, which is unseasonably cool and we are loving it. Spent a little time in the pool trying to even out my hiker tan.
Waving to everyone! It's almost restart day (Monday) again; the story of my life. Oh well, it could be worse.
Credits: weighed & logged, walked, within calories but barely
- I had a lot of calories left for dinner so went with the sort of unplanned...oh shoot, as I am typing this I realize I forgot the slice of cheese, so probably just over calories. It adds up so fast when you aren't looking. May take another short walk before bed to even it out.
curleyjax :hugs: I wish we all were closer. I wish we could do a meal train for you or something.
Saturday - Birth of Plato, philosopher (Greece, 427 B.C.)
