After a long time away, hello (again) to all of you, my Beck coaches and buddies. I'm checking back in with the "plan" that I return to this forum regularly. I was writing in my journal recently that it was frustrating to have no one in real life, not even ONE FTF friend I have ever met who "gets" the Beck approach or has any interest in learning more about it. When for me, it's been the only thing that has ever worked for me and continues to work. And not just for diet, but for other life goals as well. Just today, I was talking to a friend who just started on a new purchased diet plan, and I began to sing the praises of Beck. A while back I had given her the latest Beck book, but she said "nah... sorry, it just didn't connect with me, but thanks all the same". So here I return to you all, a group of people who DO "get it" and who see the value in working with Beck concepts. Thanks for being here, still, as I've flitted off, you all are still here. Thanks for that.
p.s. And do any of you have any thoughts to share on why you think it is that so few people have an interest in a CBT approach to diet, why there are so few of us and so many who say "nah... sorry, it just didn't connect with me, but thanks all the same"
Hello all. I’ve been on/off/on/off plan for the past few months and I’m going to strive now to back on plan with “no if ands or buts”. Coming back here to you all and 3FC is part of the plan. This was an extremely important component in the past and will surely help me now. So thanks in advance.
Already reading your posts for the first 3 days of March, I’ve been reminded of some things and have picked up some helpful strategies and ways of thinking…
Yesterday, I ate (too much/wrong choice) fast food for lunch, so for dinner I compensated by having just a lovely big salad. Today too, a “substitution”. I met friends for breakfast AFTER I’d already had cereal at home. At 7AM, my plan was to just have coffee, but by 10:30 and all the enticing things on the menu lulled me into changing the plan. I decided to have eggs. To compensate, I called that breakfast “lunch”.
But, I need to “get a grip” on this slippery “compensation” philosophy. It worked as a clumsy solution to bad choices, but I’m going to try instead to make a plan and STICK TO IT, no if ands or buts. Then there won’t be these après compensations.
curlyjax: I can’t imagine how you can sit beside those gs cookies. I could not do it! Kudos to you for remaining prudent. The quiet of morning is also my fav time of the day, and that first cup of coffee. Priceless.
onebyone: I LOVED your comment that “tea is more comforting”. After I read that, I put aside my laptop and got up made myself a nice cup of tea. And it is now here beside me, very comforting indeed. I liked your food pusher anecdote and your slogan “food didn't cause it and can't cure it either”
bill: I like how you plan your “substitutions”, something that would work well for me too. I’ll keep that in mind: i.e. your combining 3 small snacks into 1 large one taken at once. (and thanks, as always for posting the sections of the Beck books… so so helpful and appreciated)
karenrn Great to hear you’re still hiking and enjoying it so. Wonderful.
NationalParker: I liked your description of going thru drawers looking for something to eat. Been there. Done that.
love2garden: Cool that your hubby is such a good cook. The cabbage rolls sound delicious.
FutureFitChick Please check with your doctor regarding the swelling hands after walking. Sounds so different I'd want to know WHY?
Laughing at walking downhills and remembering one time getting way too enthusiastic as I strode out down hill in new area- and paid dearly that evening and next day.
Food pushers: Sympathy with anyone who has someone pushing food on them. I miss the neighbors that were friendly, but I don't miss the constant goodies that were brought over.
DH's doctor's appointment was very, very good. His lab reports show a very healthy man and I'm so grateful. He amazes me on the things he can still do. The new lights over the fireplace really make that area look great. He is so handy with so many things.
Super brief check in ... on plan today with the only stray being a couple of the 15 calorie peppermint patties. I planned on three and had five - two on the drive home, then started a cup of hot tea soon after getting in the door. Logged it all and going to get on the exercise bike for a hopefully calmer ride tonight. Last night's ride was interrupted by gunshots down the street and I came flying out and DH was flying out the door (as he later determined, not smart). He ended up calling the police and they came to check it out. A few weeks ago I'd heard gunshots as well - and it's getting me nervous. We don't live in the hood.
Planning to take tomorrow off. During a very busy time at work but I'm caught up and need a mental break and would like to spend a bit of extra time with DH.
Daily Practice - Great to see you again. I love the sunshine on your face in your avatar. Makes me smile to see familiar faces return. That, to me, is another sign that learning this method better can only help down the line if we return to it vs. turn away from it.
Off to bike or I'll skip it. DH is starting a fire and plans are to sleep by the blazing fire tonight while snow falls (or doesn't/depends on the station you watch... I figure I'll just watch the skies.) Set forth a "challenge" for DH and I to combine to ride/hike 350 miles in March. Of course much easier on the bike but still need to DO IT. I want to add Karen's miles in but she'd do it in two weeks.
Bill - Funny you chose that note on Helen Keller - one of the kids I work with on their reading each week is entranced by Helen Keller books, and now I find I see more and more about her. Awareness!
Food was OK. I was under my calorie goal today, but had some new foods planned that I did not pre-log, so my dinner was heavier than I expected. I did not have an afternoon snack or evening snack, so it worked out OK. But, it was a good thing to note for the future. I walked my full walk today, but the sidewalks were slushy-icy, so I did not worry about speed at all to be safe. I tried Karen, R. N.'s suggestions of pumping my hands and arm muscles during my walk. It was an improvement over previous days. I have decided to use any birds or barking dogs I encounter as a prompt to remind me to do that until it is a habit.
Tomorrow I will not do a planned exercise, but will be doing much more walking than normal, so that will be a good exchange. Breakfast and lunch will be out, and will be a set menu, so I will 1) do my best to chose wisely, 2) watch my portion sizes, and 3) get rid of my plate with unwanted food ASAP or if that is not possible push food around I don't need to eat on my plate if I feel weird about not eating when others are.
Bill Blue Eyes, great job sticking to your food plan. I am completely fascinated by your book, and added it to my Good Reads list.
Daily Practice, hi! I don't think we've met before, so it is nice to know you! I would guess that few are interested because CBT and successful, maintained weight loss of any kind takes time and serious effort. Most people, me at other times in my life included, seek a quick and easy fix.
National Parker, yay for another OP day! I hope Friday is awesome for you! I aspire to be caught up with work someday! We had a couple inches of snow overnight, and very slow flurries up here currently.
Sandy (Love 2 Garden), great to read your husband is doing so well too! Thanks for your concern about my exercise-induced swelling. I don't have any heart/lung/metabolic issue, just nature inherited genes, my current weight, and just how my body responds to exercise.
My cold is on the wane. It flares up a bit but on the whole it's gone. Thank goodness. And really a HUGE credit to me for not giving in to comfort food while sick. I had other on plan comfort food/comforts. This may be the event that causes me to create that Beck memory box. Does anyone have the instructions for that again??
I saw the scale fall this morning too so that's another plus. Today I felt like working a bit on a painting too. I'll be at it early I can tell. But tomorrow, coaches, is the delayed lunch from earlier this week that is my upstairs' neighbour's treat. The buffet I think. I like what futurefitchick wrote esp. the part about "pushing your food around". My guess is my neighbour will be watching what and how much I eat. I'm expecting it. I can say my tummy is still off or I'm still not 100%. I thought I could say my Dr. wants me to avoid sweets for a while. We'll see. I am confident I can negotiate one meal and if I mess up, it's one meal. Not a disaster. An hour or two at most.
But... Wish me luck! And presence of mind!!
Have a good evening.
Dailypractice: welcome back. My take on the low.appeal.of Beck: it's not very dramatic or sexy or magical. It's something you work at/with/apply to your life and it sounds so basic so easy eg. Eating sitting down. Who doesn't know that? But have you done it? We all know it ain't easy. It's work.
Friday - Charles II grants land to William Penn (Pennsylvania, 1681)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked, CREDIT moi, to class and then in the evening to see the movie The Ten Canoes. The movie is, itself, an opportunity to confront the notion 'Everywhen' - the title of a new exhibit of Indigenous Art from Australia. 'Everywhen' is a replacement word for the concept 'Dreamtime' which doesn't do as clear a job of denoting eternal time - time now, in the past, and in the future. My head spins when confronting a culture so different than the way I think.
Eating was going well until we stumbled into an unexpected reception in the evening after the movie. I was hungry, there was good soup waiting at home, but the table of cheese and crackers grabbed me as we talked and explored the room of the museum where it was held. It was good enough cheese, but not special and certainly not worth the diversion from my plan. I've done better at these types of receptions when I've planned for them but this one was unexpected.
onebyone – Oh Yes, avoiding comfort foods while sick is so worthy of Kudos. I think you'd enjoy the Indigenous Art from Australia - it's deceptively simple but each work carries a tale and history.
FutureFitChick – Smart to walk safely over "slushy-icy." Kudos for dropping two snacks.
nationalparker – Kudos for hot tea to lead the mind away from food. Hearing gunshots is scary.
Sandy (love2garden) - LOL at the problem of enthusiastically starting a walk downhill. Congrats on your DH's physical health.
Ani (dailypractice) - Yep, our FTF (Face to Face) friends don't easily fit the role of supporters of our Cognitive Behavior Therapy. My take is that folks don't easily support what they don't understand and CBT can seem too simple to take seriously. E.g. the simple thought that "Just this once" is being rejected can throw many friends. Kudos for your plan, "STICK TO IT, no if ands or buts" - I can understand that.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 5 Food Pusher Traps
#1: The Chronic Hard Sell Trap
When Laura first came to see me one spring day, she told me she had wanted to get help with dieting for a long time. She was a classic yo-yo dieter, always losing and then gaining back the same ten pounds, which really showed on her petite frame. Laura quickly mastered the foundation strategies because she was usually able to stick to a plan during the year. But summer was fast approaching, when staying on track would be most difficult for her.
Some people find summer the easiest to lose weight, because dishes are usually lighter and we have more opportunities to be active outside. But for Laura, summer was the total opposite. Her parents owned a place in the mountains, and each summer, the entire family descended on the cottage every weekend they could.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 86
The past two days were not good food wise, but I've figured out what I need to do to get back on track. On Wednesday I made chocolate chip oatmeal cookies to take to my evening function. I probably ate 6 of them. Another problem is I bought a large container of dates at Costco. I rationalized by saying they were so much less expensive than at the grocery store and they are great for adding to oatmeal when backpacking, but I've eaten way too many the past couple of days. The last of the cookies went to work with dh yesterday and I've asked him to keep the dates in his car. I'm sure he thought I was crazy, but I need to get them out of the house, but I don't want to throw them away cause I will use them when appropriate.
Another thing I need to change, back to the way it was, is open my food diary on MFP. I had it set to public or friends previously, but when a friend of mine would make comments on what I ate it bothered me, so I changed it to needing a password. Well, I find that knowing she may look at it was actually kind of helpful. It stopped me from eating things now and then.
Yesterday I did several hours of ironing and got caught up with some other errands and things around the house, no exercise. Today I'm going to take a long walk with my new book, New York. Tomorrow dh and I are doing a 10 mile loop hike, which will be his longest and probably last before our trip.
So the result of my couple of bad days on the food plan are weight up 2 pounds. I vow to strictly follow my plan until those pounds are gone. Maintaining is okay, gaining is not.
Bill You certainly do have an interesting life, and so many varied activities. You are so fortunate to have it all nearby.
Onebyone I'm so glad to hear your cold is better and congratulations for not giving in to comfort foods. That really is an accomplishment. Good luck at the luncheon outing today.
FutureFitChick Be careful on those slushy sidewalks. I'm glad using your arm muscles helped to keep the swelling down. When I've gone on a long hike without poles I've had swelling in the hands and up the forearms a bit and it is uncomfortable. Another thing I do, when I don't use poles, is wear a Camelback and hook my thumbs in the straps up near my shoulders. Keeping the hands raised and moving is the ticket which is why the poles also work.
Nationalparker Enjoy your day off today. Good for you for starting a challenge. I always like to have some kind of challenge going or something I'm training for to keep me going. Holy moly, gunshots. Just crazy, huh?
Sandy I'm glad to hear you're feeling great and also that your husband is so healthy. We want to have them around for as long as we possibly can for sure.
Daily practice Glad to see you back. It's true that many people aren't interested in the Beck Strategies and would rather have a quick fix or at least not look at the psychologist aspects of weight loss. It does seem for long term success, Beck strategies are very helpful.
I'm with you on the "no ifs, ands, or buts". I lost a bit last Spring when I was being very diligent with no sweets or alcohol and getting lots of exercise. The exercise remains, and I have maintained but if I want to lose the last bit I've got to tighten it up a bit.
hi coaches- quick check in today. I was running late but did make my salad for lunch so credit for that. Making stirfry tonight so credit for that. Overindulged horribly at an outing yesterday but back on track today. Dailypractice- welcome back! Glad to see you here. I echo what others have said about Beck and folks looking for quick fixes, etc. Onebyone- excellent strategies for your lunch, good luck! My understanding about the memory box was just writing on cards the times and thoughts you had when you were successful, and putting it in a box to feel good about your progress. Karenrn-dates in the car out of the way is a great strategy. I really need to stop baking and keeping things like cocoa powder/confectionary sugar around, but its hard to banish everything with the kids. You sound like you rarely make cookies so that is great!
A much appreciated day off but still the house is not to myself. Day six of the dishwasher extravaganza with workmen diagnosing and running for extra parts. I never really considered a dishwasher a luxury but it is when you don't have one.
Sympathizing with dailypractice problematic substitution issues. I keep changing midday and veering off course by evening. Weight remains three pounds above ticker. At least exercise is more consistent. My goal is thirty active minutes a day. I'm on track for that.
Hope to catch up with personals this week. Have a great Friday everyone.
Hello all. Thanks much for the warm welcome back and for your thoughts in answer to my question about why there seems to be so few Beckies out there. It’s so nice that there is a forum like this that has grown to be such a substantial gathering.
So I’m back “on plan” for 24 hours. Except for a brief argument with potato chips. Which I eventually won.
I’m reading a good book “Eat Move Sleep” by Tom Rath, who at age 16 was diagnosed with VHL, a disease--which by shutting off a tumor suppressor--leads to rampant cancerous growth throughout the body. With this disease hanging over his head and multiple tumors erupting, he became a voracious researcher into healthful habits which he shares in well-researched doses. I’ve picked up lots of helpful ideas, like this one: “Use product placement at home”, i.e. just like the supermarket puts things they want us to buy at eye level, easy reach, we can do the same in our kitchens. Inspired by that, this morning I cleaned and cut up lots of carrots and celery and other crunchies and put them front and center in the fridge, first thing I see, easy to grab. Same with a bag of almond… left it on the counter, visible, easy to grab when I walk into the kitchen confused and aimless and rudderless.
Sandy (love2garden): So good to hear of your DH's successful doctor's appointment. Hurray for good health. And I LOVE LOVE your closing statement, that you Feel “happy to be alive”. Thanks for that reminder.
NationalParker: Oh, I love peppermint patties too. They stay on my “permitted treat list” unless I demonstrate imprudence (LOL), then off the list they go. That’s one of my strategies… food that I’m capable of prudence with are given more shelf space in my life, and things like p.chips… no way. (it’s my bf who buys them. grrrr.) I agree with you that learning this CBT method can only help down the line esp. if we return to it.
FutureFitChickNo we haven’t met, so Hello! very nice to meet you. Thanks for offering your thoughts that serious weight loss “takes time and serious effort. Most people seek a quick and easy fix.” So true.
onebyone: I’ll be interested to hear the answer to your question about the Beck memory box. I don’t recall hearing about it. But it sounds like an interesting concept. And I agree with your assessment that CBT “isn’t dramatic or sexy or magical. It's something you work at/with/apply to your life”.
bill: I know how unplanned eating situations can throw you off plan. So true. And your comment that most dieters (and people in general) disagree with CBT Beckies in the idea of “just this once”. Seems most people cannot get away from the mathematical calorie in/calorie out model, rather than the “changing of habits” and strengthening muscles philosphy.
Have a great day,
Ani
Last edited by dailypractice; 03-04-2016 at 03:35 PM.
... to add a few more personals that came in since I wrote...
KarenRN I sympathize with problems when baking treats to bring to a function. I am TERRIBLE at staying prudent in such a situation. Great solution you devised of putting the excess in your DH’s car. Great idea. And this morning, I picked up another slant I’m going to try to adopt from “Eat Move Sleep” by Tom Rath. He says “Stop buying junk for your friends”. We all do it, studies show. When entertaining or bringing food to an event, we bake and buy and cook less healthy foods than we would typically prepare for ourselves, arguing that it’s “for our friends” and "that's what they want". But do they? I don’t know but I’m going to wrestle my view on that.
curlyjax: Ooooo. I’m glad you mentioned stir fry. Gives me a great idea for tonight's dinner. Thanks.
MaryAnn Kudos to you for being consistent in your exercise. 30 minutes a day is a great goal and super that you’re on track.
Ani Good to see you back here now. I agree that checking in often is an advantage toward better results. Your book sounds very interesting. Hope our small library has it or can get it for me.
BillAustralia has always fascinated me. Read a book this week and at book club someone who lived in Australia told several things that are different there that explained some puzzles with the book.
Patty Mills of the San Antonio Spurs is Australian. His Mom is from one indigenous group, his Dad from another. Judging by this amazing man and some of the things I've seen him do in past few years, this is a fantastic combination.
As I was thinking about the reason Beck makes sense to me, I realized I firmly believe I can modify my behavior IF and WHEN I really make the effort and am consistent. Several behaviors are now just second nature. Surely as I keep adding the behaviors toward health I'll begin to really make a difference in my weight as well. A lot depends on which I WANT more.
No snow here, all melted!!! Driving yesterday was awful. Easy today. We had great Asian supper with shrimp several ways, but Not Fried. Shrimp with Zucchini was especially good. Veggie was still firm like I like it. I hate wimpy veggies.
Happy Friday! Took a vacation day and while I guess I'm not completely caught up with work as it just accumulates while I'm not there and now more for tomorrow, I needed/wanted a break. got on the bike first thing and then a good breakfast. We hit Concussion at the cheap theatres down south and then wandered Barnes & Noble before eating 'lunner' at our little pizza spot with apps - 4" thin crust pizzas, just tastes. SO good and what a nice treat to order a few and share. It worked out perfectly in food plan and actually ended with calories to spare. Had three hands of DH's popcorn and that was it.
Tonight not that great, though, as when I let our pooch out this evening, she took off after something and then realized it was a dang coyote and I had no way of catching her or the coyote. I was screaming and opened the door and yelled for DH to get out there too (he was on phone) and finally she came back with a puncture wound on her side. She IS fast but I'm not happy. DH and I went round a bit as to take her to emergency vet or handle ourselves and go to vet in morning. I wanted to take her, he's more from the country and is a wait and see. I'm not. He said do whatever makes you feel better. I got my keys and took her to the vet er. $ but peace of mind and found another puncture while there and got all handled. I am not good with pet emergencies, but excellent with people emergencies. Why is that!? Still a bit upset at it all. I said NEVER AGAIN can we let her out not on leash. i will work to get something rigged up myself. He said he'll go out with her - I rather dramatically exclaimed that I WAS OUT WITH HER and she took off. So she's bandaged around her belly/back and looks pathetic with shaved rump too. So much for our relaxing by the fire. He's asleep by the fire now and I don't want to lay there tonight. thanks for listening to my stress tonight.
Last edited by nationalparker; 03-05-2016 at 12:17 AM.
Here's what happened at my lunch with my neighbour J. We went to the Italian buffet. It was, thankfully, big so many choices. I chose carefully, had soup, salad, then mains. All on plan. We were there a long time. Talked a lot. By the end it was like I had food-fending-off-fatigue. I couldn't say no anymore, or be careful anymore, my only nod to being moderate was in the choice of a small age vs, dinner plate for, yep, desserts. Us a small bowl of ice cream. I had 5 small pastries and ice cream. But I came home.e and was right back on plan. I GI e myself 70% for the lunch.
Now, had it been DH, I could have stayed OP. J kept encouraging me to eat. She wanted me to try everything. I finally said I was on a diet. I'm not eating bread. I knew if I said more we'd end up discussing it more and I simply don't want to. But throughout the meal she said Oh don't be on a diet today! Please eat. Enjoy this it is so good. Off and on off and on for two hours. At the end, with the desserts, I just caved. But not completely. Anyway it's over. I am a bit triggered now to eat that stuff again but I know my best path is not to. Nothing has changed. My current low carb foodplan is working for me. I'm not missing anything.
Other than this I wrestled with a painting and it finally cut me some slack late this evening. I hope to complete it tomorrow. In between, in my frustration, I painted something else, an unexpected thing. It's been so long since I felt the satisfaction of making something good. I am.grateful for the feeling of this this evening and it makes me glad to be alive today (thanks love2garden for that thought!).
Hello all
Friday - Charles II grants land to William Penn (Pennsylvania, 1681)
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