Beck Diet Solution A step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life.

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Old 12-26-2015, 05:08 PM   #166  
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Good afternoon coaches,

Back to basics here after a couple of days of too much. I was almost down to where I wanted to be on the scale, but bounced back up after these last two days. My plan is to stay on plan. Credit for a good hike on Thursday and a good walk yesterday. Credit today for getting back on plan.

Maryann I think a big part of my success, when I am successful, is not having food in the house that I should not be eating. I limit the temptations as much as possible. Luckily dh is on board with that. He agrees that the sweet bread that my friend brought should go in the garbage now that she is gone.

Bill I am so jealous that you got to try a hoverboard. I would probably fall down, but it sure sounds fun to try it.

Nationalparker Yes your father in law sounds like a sweetie. Too bad that your step-daughter ruins the day. Safe travels and have a great visit with your brother. Did he have his surgery, or is it this week?

Lexxis I'm glad you're going to take some time for yourself and also not be on the snowy roads as much. Honesty is almost always the best policy.

Waving to everyone else.
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Old 12-26-2015, 10:53 PM   #167  
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Hi coaches!

My dad was a mechanical engineer and he always told us girls that you could fix anything if you just took your time and really thought about it. This morning our very expensive coffeemaker wouldn't work. The thought of spending money to buy a new one or ship this one for repair was all the motivation I needed. It took almost an hour, but with the help of a YouTube video I found success. Credit.

Today Was our Christmas. My husband's healthy daughter brought her niece nephew, bring kids up for a sleepover. It's been wild and hectic. Food has been all right. I noticed my Beck skills in action many times during the day. At a point I had a few minutes to check in and read and when I read MaryAnn's post about arrange your environment I took a few minutes and went through the refrigerator. It's amazing how quickly some chores can be done. It makes me happy when these two little displaced children can come up and have a really wonderful time, yet I will be grateful to get back to my quiet life.
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Old 12-26-2015, 11:44 PM   #168  
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Halfway home. Food is so so.

Other step daughter texted dh to b*tch that she didn't get anything sent back for her. Then said it's not about the stuff but I want mine. I kid you not. I have to disengage grin dhs contact bc I despise their attitude and it just enraged me. I need to not eat over it. To the parents out here in this thread how do you even deal with this?
Last time I'll vent on this this year. Ha.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:35 AM   #169  
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Thumbs up Sunday - HMS Beagle departs Plymouth (1831)

Diet Coaches/Buddies Did my run to the supermarket, CREDIT moi, close to opening time since I expected a post-Christmas mob to appear later. They managed to have strawberries and bananas and lettuce out for the early shoppers. I fixed a leaking dishwasher - sometimes fixes are easier than anticipated. The repair-it-yourself gods owed me one for the many times that a minor fix set me back weeks.

We stopped by a friend's Boxing Day party (even though it wasn't Boxing day). CREDIT moi for some restraint; I did have a homemade Hungarian meat-filled, fried something. Good, but overrated. In the evening, DW and I watched Airplane. I nearly died laughing. Since I knew the line, "And don't call me Shirley," I assumed that I'd seen it. Nope, I'm 35 years behind in popular movies. I can't remember ever laughing that much at one movie.


Debbie (Lexxiss) Super Kudos for fixing your own coffee maker. I'm not even sure if I could find a repair shop around here anymore.

maryann - Sugar stuff in the house is, indeed, a challenge. DD brought over a small tub of sugar cookies. They're sitting there waiting for DW or I to eat them.

nationalparker Yay for halfway home. Continued Kudos for supporting your DH instead of getting into a snit about your step kids. Some level of competition between kids is pretty standard. My two were in their thirties before they stopped making comments about who got more packages under the tree at Christmas - somewhat in jest, but still comments. We can now tease them about it.

Karen (karenrn) - Good idea, "Back to basics." I'll be so happy when the "too much" part of the holidays is over.

Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 3 Stress Traps

#2: The Unreasonable Rules Trap

Next we discussed a new standard. Miranda saw the wisdom in changing her 110 percent rule to a more moderate one: "I should be a good mom and also take care of myself." But it was still hard for her to imagine actually doing less for the boys. I reminded her how parents on an airplane are directed to first put on their own oxygen masks, so they can be in shape to then help their children. "If you pass out," I reminded her, "you're no good to the person next to you!"

Miranda thought about how this concept applied to her life. She decided that her new rule should actually be phrased, "I should be a good mom but I have to take care of myself to be a good mom." This new guideline helped her find breathing space in her life. For example, instead of waiting until the last minute and scrambling to pull something together for dinner, she would use the time while Adam was with the boys to plan meals for the week and shop for healthy ingredients. She would reserve a little time on Sundays to chop vegetables for the week and make at least part of her sons' lunches (which would help them eat healthier). She enlisted the boys' help, and the three of them started a new tradition of spending time together in the kitchen.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 56
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Old 12-27-2015, 10:21 AM   #170  
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Good Morning, Coaches.

I had terrific success with arranging environments. DH said everything can go except what Santa brought in the stocking (purchases I made and which, therefore, are not my favorite ) We told DS to take anything he wants and put it in his Halloween bag. Yes, DS STILL has his Halloween candy. DH and I have long ago vowed to never touch that bag. Super grateful that DS is a healthy eater. He and DH play a long standing game called "doors" DH makes three piles of candy, describes in his best Monty Hall voice each choice and DS picks one pile. The rest goes back into the bag. I am sure DS saves candy just to play this with his dad. Here is in my mind the proper place of food - bringing people together with good memories.

I wish I could have such a healthy relationship with food. There is a place in 12 step literature that talks about chasing the memories of "social (normal) food fun " into the gates of insanity. For a few brief moments in my history, I could eat one of those, or bake that, or share a basket spontaneously. I no longer have the luxury. I have crossed some invisible line and I can't go back. I have proved that every day now for thirty years. It is time to move forward toward peace. By consenting to be bound I will be free.

Another quick success for arranging environment. DH and I have been having a DATE night at the tennis club. It is a beautiful facility with work out rooms. spa and sauna. I enjoy doing the machines with him. He loves the spa. The problem has been my hair. I don't want to go if I have just washed my hair. I get out of the spa, have to go home to shower where my hair stuff is and it adds 45 minutes to the whole process plus I smell like chlorine. So as a part of arranging my environment I tried something new. I wrapped my hair in a towel. (DUH) How did I not think of it before? The towels protects the hair. I can actually shower with the towel on and use their body wash bought especially to get chlorine off. I dress and am ready to go. Wow. That adds one whole day of exercise to my week.

Now for the next day. I need to find an exercise place next to where DS takes lessons in another town. This will add another day of exercise.

nationalparker: I am sorry the situation with yr stepdaughters is causing so much pain. Especially so that you are so powerless to help.

Last edited by maryann; 12-27-2015 at 12:48 PM.
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Old 12-27-2015, 11:42 PM   #171  
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Default Finally home

Safely made it home despite long, long delays around Atlanta and Macon...so good to see my brother and his wife and even familiar streets.

Better note tomorrow when I have time, but rescued a day off only snacks in car for lunch with a decision that I was stopping for food for dinner regardless...so we hit subway for 6" subs and back on the road. Maybe that's my signal. My choices. I cannot keep sneaking food. I need that as my mantra. My thighs and belly find it. I never did that until lately.
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Old 12-28-2015, 05:03 AM   #172  
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Thumbs up Monday - Boxing Day

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked with DW, CREDIT moi, before the rain started again in the evening. It caught me by surprise that we arrived home after dark since we left the house for an hour walk in the afternoon. Dark is arriving so early right now. I'm ready for the longer days to kick in.

Dinner finished the leftovers from our Christmas Eve pot roast. Leftover pot roast is so good I asked DW to make another soon. I did consume only half of the mashed potatoes leaving half for the worms in our compost bin. CREDIT moi for that. There's still a container of Christmas cookies that are being nibbled slowly. I look forward to them being gone.


maryann - LOL at the "Monty Hall voice." Thanks for the thought, "chasing the memories of 'social (normal) food fun' into the gates of insanity."

nationalparker – A six inch sub is a sane food choice, Kudos. Yay for making it to your brother's house for some good family time.

Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 3 Stress Traps

#2: The Unreasonable Rules Trap

With these key activities pushed to the top of the list, Miranda's life started to settle down a bit. We continued to look for stress-relieving tweaks to her schedule - especially self-care. With her new rule in mind, Miranda carved out a little time to have coffee with friends, read, and watch TV. When she felt stressed or rushed, she practiced a mindfulness technique, listening to a five-minute recording on her smartphone that helped her focus on her breathing. This technique made her feel more relaxed and calm.

These changes did the trick. At our last visit, Miranda had lost twenty-six pounds and was still on the way down. She was so proud of herself for getting her eating - and her sons' eating - under control. "But losing weight and getting healthier is only half the story," she related. "My stress is way down. I feel like I can breathe again for the first time in years."

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 56

Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 12-29-2015 at 06:16 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 12-28-2015, 08:17 AM   #173  
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Hi Coaches!

I'm trying to post more often, unfortunately I get down to the wire with time. Food good this weekend until last evening. I didn't have a plan for after kids and I ate spontaneously. Today my plan is "better". I've exercised, had green smoothie and am headed to work. Credit for persistence.
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Old 12-28-2015, 10:27 AM   #174  
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It's been raining for about 50 hours straight. And may go on all day today as well.

I did fine with my eating on Christmas until late evening. The day after, the first day of rain, was really bad. Yesterday was better. Today, I'm determined, will be better still -- starting with posting here, reading my advantages and responses cards, and making a plan for the day. All done -- CREDIT x 3.

WI: NA kg, Exercise: +30 1080/1200 minutes for December, Food: NA op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
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Old 12-28-2015, 12:23 PM   #175  
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RAIN, RAIN, Where is Noah and his ark?

We drive home on roads with running water, not deep but still scary with cars coming toward us and waves of water hitting windshield. So grateful to be home. We didn't drive out after dark. Yesterday a vehicle fire shut down 3 lanes of traffic and we were stranded for over 1 hour 20 minutes. Amazed at the calm drivers and cooperation at letting other cars in as we finally were able to exit in single file.

Fixing things: Debbie I agree having a father that assumed he could fix anything, and did, has given us the determination and skill to save lots of repair dollars. As Bill says, even finding someone who will repair is unusual.

So glad the eating season is finally over. Our Christmas Dinner I fixed was extremely healthy and heavy on veggies fixed in unusual ways. Fun to do, and loved seeing family enjoy them, too.

MaryAnn What a good way to have a DATE time! We did that when we were younger but DH resigned from ever going to any type gym anymore.

Karen I agree that the best way to succeed at healthy eating is to have only that type eats in the house. Can't blame others, I also goofed.

Christmas dinner had NO deserts and no one noticed!!!

CREDIT: Beck habit success. Calmly ate Breakfast at table, healthy, and savored each bite slowly.

Beginning today to eat ONLY at dining table after Blessing and seated. Too much eating at computer and at TV. Scale shows that mindless eating is defeating my desire to lose weight.

Sandy
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:41 PM   #176  
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Good afternoon coaches,

Well yesterday didn't turn out to be the good day that I hoped for. We headed out for a hike and I was underdressed. It would have been okay, except for the wind. I went about a mile and then told dh I would go back to the car and wait for him there, which I did. From there I went to eating one cookie at the grocery store and then pulling the sweet roll out of the freezer. It should have been in the garbage, that was the plan, but I hadn't done it yet. I put it in the garbage right after I had more than I should. Well heck any of it was more than I should.

The good news is that today I have a good plan. Two meals have now been eaten and I had a 2 1/2 hour hike and the weather was perfect.

Oh my goodness the rain you are telling about sounds awful, but there is lots of awful weather from what I see on the news. It must be terrifying in some places.

Maryann Glad to hear your dh is as accommodating and supportive as mine is. I mean, really, wouldn't we do the same for them. Of course we would.

I'm up a couple of pounds and need to get that off by the 1st if at all possible. I think if I am very careful I can get back down because it is probably fluid retention. I want to be 140 or below at the new year.
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Old 12-28-2015, 03:42 PM   #177  
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My spirit feels so "at home" here even though I'm in my brother's home. The sunshine warming my skin, the foliage, lizards, summer clothing in December - all good. Rare on that front with the summer clothing but I'm taking this opportunity to warm myself through and through. Trying to help my brother without fussing over him post-surgery. He is doing well, and I'm relieved. Good to see!

For lunch today I made us all sweet potato avocado soft wheat tacos with black beans and seasoned chicken with an avocado lime drizzle topping. Will do mexican tostadas tomorrow with the leftovers, along with spinach salad with pear, cranberries, walnuts. I need to have ideas or it'll take me too long to THINK what I can pull together from what we brought and what's here. This recipe will go in the hopper for more frequent usage.

frustrating to see how my summery clothes are going to have to fit for this trip. But we'll see how it all goes. I need to cross back over the line of "I'm eating out and can solidly make healthy choices" rather than, "I'm not letting an opportunity for eating something I won't make at home pass me by." ... I have indulged too much - and that doesn't mean high calories all the time just larger portions - I can solidly get three meals out of some dinners and I'm thinking I'm doing great some days to take a bit home and get two. I realized that.

We finally left the rain around Macon, but saw the devastation from flooding through our Tennessee drive and into Georgia.

I, too, had a father who repaired all in our house, and often in others. It was common to see another woman from the neighborhood walking up the driveway with a lamp, a toaster, blender, whatever. A number of years ago (I think I might have already shared this - if so, I'm sorry for repeating) he was telling me how to fix my sink and I couldn't get it so he taped all the parts of his sink on a poster board and took pictures and emailed it to me to see how it all went together ... and what I needed to do to repair it. I wish I'd remembered that story for my eulogy

Like that Miranda in the Beck story is reaping the rewards of less stress as well as a substantial loss... I want to go back and read it all together as well.
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Old 12-28-2015, 07:08 PM   #178  
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Good Afternoon, Coaches.

Day 9 and I have easily made accommodations for exercise. I cannot take for granted my improving health. I walk 3.4 miles yesterday to the ocean. What a joy. The only thing sore was my knee slightly and my still-recovering feet which have had a relapse of plantars fasciatis. Weight remains four pounds above ticker perched to begin the slide down as I approach my eating plan.

Safe and sound in my house is the new espresso machine. I will not go to Starbucks except when working with a sponsee. That will save me some dough but most importantly stop the ugly habit of choosing reduced fat, high sodium breakfasts which have become common these last two months. This will be a welcome change. Credit.

Credit for continuing to use my counter for credits. I am up to 41. I have also continued to rearrange my environment. I have finally found merino wool tops to replace the threadbare one I have worn to death. It is good to lay "old soldier" wardrobe staples to rest when they have become shabby. Heartbreaking but good.

Love2Garden: So good to hear that changing a meal plan does not have to change a meal's enjoyment. It is tough to make healthier traditions but not impossible.

KarenRN: The freezer never makes a cookie or roll safe from me. I ate one just today. You are right and the rest of the cookies are going in the garbage.

nationalparker: I am impatient with my clothes. That is what happens when I am 10 pounds heavier than last year. I have enough pretty things to wear until I lose it. That is the most important thing.

Last edited by maryann; 12-28-2015 at 07:10 PM.
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Old 12-28-2015, 11:56 PM   #179  
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Coaches, Hi.

I can't really summarize my xmas experiences. It was very heavy duty to me as I felt completely exposed as an overeater. I felt like I "wear my addiction for all to see". I was *super-sensitive* to every individual in our gathering: DH and me, SIL and BIL, and MIL. I could not escape seeing everyone's addictions out there in full view. I saw SIL and BIL opening one drink after another. They were never without an open beverage. MIL received what I was told was 1/2 a case of wine which would "maybe last until February." That made zero sense to me but everyone else understood that to be reasonable. Go figure. MIL, BIL, SIL often exited to the front porch to smoke. MIL now says she has "terminal lung cancer", which is new. I think she only says it to me though. Not sure. And then there were DH and I. I felt "at my top weight" self-conscious about my double chin, the way my clothes fit, what I was wearing, my hair, everything, just feeling judged by others but it was me doing that to myself. I could not stop. DH was wearing his fitbit and his sister asked him i that was for fitness and he said yes and since he is heavier than ever, and everyone in the room knows he's diabetic yet eats whatever he pleases (he is not as far as I know monitoring his blood sugar or anything and has skipped Dr. check ups for a year or so) so there we were with our food addictions writ large over our bodies. Sigh. Other than this, it was great. LOL. DH and I had agreed we'd spend a lot on MIL since this may be her last xmas, for sure the last one where she will be this well, and we got her an overnight stay at one of the top spas in Canada. They had a "friend for free" deal for January and so she and a friend are heading to the spa for super-deluxe everything. MIL is so so so excited. Like really excited to do this. DH and I both woke up wondering if it was a good present or not adn yes, it was. But wow. Expensive. However I reminded him he got a good bonus once more and we can afford it. And we can. And for his mother, as far as I am concerned, it's about good experiences, happy times with people she loves, doing things that make her happy. She wants to do stuff, wants to be active and I am honoured we can do this for her and for her friend.

As for me, well I have not been able to shake off the feelings of xmas day. I am ready to face myself this yer and to keep the focus there as I work through my obstacles and issues around my weight, my decluttering, my work schedule. I want an overhaul. I won't be applying to the MFA in Alberta this year. Probably next January I will. I can't see leaving given MIL and my mother as well. Who I also saw. Who is more and more succumbing to her disease of Alzheimer's as well, but not completely. We still manage a laugh or two. I have somehow, once more, come to terms with her as she is and now have an easier time visiting. I don't have to stay longer than a half hour. It's all I need to do and she is happy to see me and happy to see me go. It's all good. I am very lucky to have such a bottomline happy person for a mother.

So this is where I am at. I am ready to follow Maryann's lead and put the War of Art book into service as a support for my own weightloss battle, my food addiction battle. I will return to online OA meetings and some face to face ones. I have a groupon for Bikram Yoga a few blocks away and I will try that out. I will clear out my apartment and be ruthless. Same for the studio. And I have decided that if I need a small locker once again, to get over the hump that's ok. I can afford it with my own savings from this past year of selling things.

I'm ready to turn the page on 2015 and on many other things as well.

So grateful for each and every one of you here. Thank you for reading. Bye for now.
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:39 AM   #180  
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Thumbs up Tuesday - Pablo Casals born (1876)

Diet Coaches/Buddies Saw the new Star Wars movie last night. It was good to see Hans Solo (Harrison Ford) and Princess Lela (Carrie Fisher) like friends at a high school reunion. In the movie, Hans Solo notes that Princess Lela has changed her hair; I miss the side buns, LOL. I wouldn't want to have missed it but, like a high school reunion, am glad it's over. The benefit of the 3D is that you get to see fighter ships nearly hit you in the face.

Food was only OKish. I had to do some plumbing work. However, when assessing the old pipes and connections, I bailed out and scheduled a plumber for tomorrow morning. Sometimes a professional is the right way to go. Talk about traps - I'm beating up on myself because I should be able to fix any plumbing situation myself.


onebyone Kudos for spending a chunk of money for your MIL's gift that will bring joy and friendship - rather than one more thing to own.

Joy (gardenerjoy) 50 hours of rain could have been many feet of snow. We've got a light dusting of snow now; winter may be starting.

Debbie (Lexxiss) Yep, always Kudos for persistence.

maryann - It's so neat to keep an ocean only 3..4 miles away. Kudos for walking there.

nationalparker Love your description of Florida. Occasionally I think of moving there but then remember that it's already full of people.

Karen (karenrn) - Congrats for falling out of that hike rather than continuing with the wrong clothes for a bad experience.

Sandy (love2garden) - Kudos for pulling off a Christmas dinner with NO desserts.

Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 3 Stress Traps

Escape the Unreasonable Rules Trap

Without even realizing it, you may impose expectations on yourself that make your stress worse. Life is hard enough without putting arbitrary measures of performance on top of already stressful situations.
  • Think about whether you have unreasonable rules for yourself. Usually these sabotaging thoughts incorporate should or have to or need to and an absolute word, such as always or every or never: "I have to always make my family happy. I should never do less than my absolute best at work."

  • Ask yourself, "What would I say to [a specific friend or family member] if she were in my situation and had the same rule for herself?" You'd likely have a more reasonable perspective. Deep down you probably know what would be best for her - and for yourself. Then take your own advice.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 56
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