Beck Diet For Life/Solution December 2015 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

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  • Good morning coaches,

    Calories were a little higher than they should have been yesterday due to a couple of beers, but my weight is almost down to where it needs to be today. Credit yesterday for continuing with just one cookie. They are a delicious crisp spice cookie. I don't remember the name, but they are Swedish. Credit for heading out for a hike today that ended up being short lived due to rain. Hey it was better than nothing

    GardenerJoy I agree with you a couple of vegetables should be mandatory with a high priced meal.

    Nationalparker It has been cool here more than other years. We did have a few days that were above normal, but mostly we are getting some weather from CA that keeps it a bit cool. We had some freezing early morning temps about a week ago and are likely to have that again this weekend. We are expected to have more rain this year too. It's crazy everywhere. The mediant cookies look very much like the Barefoot Contessa's chocolate bark.

    Curlyjax I hope your cold is not a bad one. Dh has had his for 2 1/2 weeks now. I think it's finally getting better. So far, fingers crossed, I have not gotten it.

    Bill Do you have to order the $1 gold coins and how much do they really cost, surely not $1. Interesting!

    Maryann You wouldn't be all that impressed with my exercise this week, or at least I'm not. Overall I am pretty good, but it is simply because I have lots of time on my hands. It is amazing how much that helps; immensely. I totally agree with the statement about commitment. It's kind of like "No Choice". I watched a couple of my friends who are committed to WW at the party we hosted Saturday, I should follow their lead on filling the plate. They each have lost 50 pounds and I can sure see why, they are absolutely committed.

    Don't know what my plans are for the rest of the day, except only one cookie and no beer.

    Take care.
  • Phone check in as I sit with my coffee doing my new creative work - weight loss. The "Work" has been defined as any that entails commitment of the heart, the taking of any principled stand in the face of adversity. Certainly this society of constant manufactured addictive food is an adversary. It will take all of my creativity to achieve my goal.

    99% sitting while eating. Two bites slipped by before I realized what happened. Today's goal is 100%. Weight is three pounds from ticker. Important Dr. appt today. A 30 min walk first.
  • Thursday - Christmas Eve
    Diet Coaches/Buddies Our adult kids are coming over this afternoon for our gift exchange - both are going to their spouse's family's houses for Christmas Day. I still have all wrapping to do this morning. I did, thankfully, finish buying what I'm going to have bought on my convoluted walk, CREDIT moi, yesterday.

    I never was able to get the meteorite that DS wants; he'll get a rock with a certificate to go to a rock store this summer. I'm hoping that it's a seasonal thing that everywhere I looked was all sold out.


    Joy (gardenerjoy) I share your belief that veggies should be chosen by the chef for every entree. Yay for giving books for gifts; I have five left to wrap - including two that I've pre-read to assure their suitability, LOL.

    maryann - Thanks for the thoughtful definition of work, "any that entails commitment of the heart." [Last night DW and I watched Jane Eyre (she chose the 2010, Mia Wasikowska version rather than the 1944 Orson Wells B&W version). DW said that there are 27 versions. This one was two hours and 1 minute long. It just kept going on and on while Jane wandered about waiting for something to happen. Until it finally ended. My take is that the Bronte sisters needed a life.]

    nationalparker Yay for enjoying your local museum. Kudos for restraint with the cookies.

    Karen (karenrn) - Good plan, "only one cookie and no beer." [The kids' stockings get current US mint $1 gold-colored coins - worth $1. Perhaps, when my ship comes in, I'll get them coins made of gold to stash away for the apocalypse. The one ounce Canadian Gold Maple Leaf would be my choice; it's currently available for around $1,200.]

    curlyjax - Ouch for the cold. Have a safe trip to your parents' house.

    Readers -
    Quote:
    Chapter 3 Stress Traps

    #2: The Unreasonable Rules Trap

    "I don't know," she sighed. "I'd really feel guilty."

    I wondered aloud whether Miranda held herself to an unhelpful standard of doing everything she possibly could for her sons. She thought a moment, then admitted that she felt as if she had to give 110 percent to make up for the divorce and make sure here boys were okay. Even when she realized that the boys would benefit from spending more time with her brother, Adam, another unhelpful rule interfered: "I should do everything myself."

    Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 55
  • hi coaches-
    my head is foggy with my cold and i didn't sleep well, thank goodness DH is feeling fine and can drive the 5 1/2hours trip. Usually we stop at a Paneras on the way and sometimes split a sandwich to decrease the total food intake, as we also snack on pretzels on the way. I forgot to get a book on CD which usually helps, but often there is arguing about what to listen to so maybe silence is better.

    I did get my molasses cookies made, another cookie I again associate with christmas- there are 3 total kinds i guess!- and am bringing a bunch with us. I left a few at home for the post holiday blues- but have warned everyone that is it once they are gone!!

    I wish all who celebrate a nice christmas, i may not post until monday, we'll see- good luck with all your eating goals and i wish you strength and perseverance!!

    I look forward to reading folks new year goals- I'm going to think of some that aren't food related- like finally doing online banking and joining the 21rst century!
  • Good morning coaches,

    Just a quick check in to say that I only had one cookie yesterday, but that's about the only good thing I did. I did have a couple of beers and I did have too much of a number of things. I am going to have to say Oh Well and plan for today to be better. However, being realistic I know today and tomorrow are not going to be perfect. I am leaving for a moderately strenuous hike and it isn't raining, so I will actually do it. I'm hoping that gets me off to a good start for the rest of the day. Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!
  • I never made a full food plan yesterday, but ate as if I had -- CREDIT. I've got a food plan for today and tomorrow -- CREDIT number 2. I also have a plan for exercise today and tomorrow -- CREDIT number 3.

    Merry Christmas to every one who is celebrating today and tomorrow.

    WI: +0.05 kg, Exercise: +40 935/1200 minutes for December, Food: NA op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
  • Merry Xmas, Coaches.

    A couple of long days hurrying around. Credit for keeping Beck as a priority. I have two 100% days of sitting down so far. Day 4 was give myself credit and I downloaded a simple "tap counter" app on my phone. I am up to twenty credits for two days. I know as I reach 100 my reward will be a downward tick on the scale. Today is eat mindfully and slowly. Super important, I know

    W Somerset Maugham "I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at 9:00 sharp."

    Substitute "abstain from compulsive overeating" for writing. It requires action to lose weight. Daily action. I understand that now. I am committed to the work. Credit exercise. Credit read advantage cards. Credit read Day 5. Credit planned huge salads for our Christmas Eve dinner to counteract act STACK of sweets (literally) sitting in this house.

    Enjoy your families, Everyone. Tomorrow we plan to go down to the ranch and have 13 yo DS practice driving his tractor. Yes, his tractor. DH remarked when he bought it, "But it is the smallest one they make." That was two years ago
  • I join everyone in wishing those here who celebrate Christmas, a wonderful one! Busy day, and it's the day I love most of the whole year. I still revel in the anticipation. I'm going to try to pull that into the weight loss arena. Somehow. I'll work on that another day. (said Scarlett).

    We set out our luminaries and it's nice to hear the cars passing by on our neighborhood road slowing down to look. While DH was outside, several folks stopped to tell him how pretty and Merry Christmas. I think that made him feel good. It's something that he didn't grow up doing, but he likes it now. Can't believe the warmer than normal temps and dry weather today that have permitted them.

    Food has been closer to not smartest choices than horrible today. I did have two cookies. I need to create more starting and stopping of meals. Bring on the hot tea. OH, I need to bring some regular black teabags with me when we drive home ... SIL loves tea, but often doesn't have plain black tea. That could help me a great deal.

    Stress eating today whenever I thought about DH's daughter/s here tomorrow.

    Credit for realizing it and stopping.
  • Friday - Full moon on Christmas Day
    Diet Coaches/Buddies We celebrated Christmas with the kids and their spouses yesterday: hanging out finishing the tree, gift exchange, pot roast dinner, emptying the stockings, apple pie with ice cream and coffee/tea. My favorite gift was containers of homemade soups from DDIL to warm us should winter get cold. My morning was spent wrapping all that I'd bought and prepping the stockings. I bought a handful of 32GByte thumbdrives; it blows my mind that they were on sale cheap enough to be stocking stuffers. DW had asked for some low volume cheap ones that she can use when she gives photos to folks without having to worry about getting them back but the smaller volume ones are no longer sold.

    The three month old DGDD was center of attention every minute. She was good at allowing all adults to hold her and walk her about.


    Joy (gardenerjoy) Three Kudos for three CREDITs. The books given yesterday were the most fun. The whole room was laughing over Thing Explainer.

    maryann - Love the thought of your DS driving his tractor today.

    nationalparker Neat that those passing appreciated your luminaries. Good luck today with the visit from your DH's daughter/s.

    Karen (karenrn) - Kudos for "Oh Well and plan for today."

    curlyjax - Hope the long ride went well. Kudos for keeping only a few cookies for post Christmas.

    Readers -
    Quote:
    Chapter 3 Stress Traps

    #2: The Unreasonable Rules Trap

    Unreasonable rules like these add stress to an already challenging situation. You, too, may have unhelpful expectations that you're not fully aware of. Miranda clearly needed to see her situation from a different perspective. "I wonder what you'd say to your best friend if she were in the same situation?" I asked.

    Miranda pondered the question, "I guess I'd tell Sonya that if her goal is to lose weight and be healthier, she has to make some changes, even if it affects her kids."

    "And if she protested?" If she said, 'I should go to all my kids' events. I should do everything myself,' what would you tell her?"

    Miranda let out a deep sigh, "I''d tell her that her health is more important. That it would be nice to be able to go to every single one of the boys' events, but she shouldn't - at least for now. Because getting healthy will be better for her kids than going to every game."

    Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 55
  • Merry Xmas, Coaches.

    Credit for averaging 95% sitting down while eating. That is huge. Weight is four pounds above ticker. Credit for letting that go and focusing instead on the reappearance of daily exercise (including today's walk). Yeah!. Credit for a sane breakfast this morning.

    Christmas morning was tech plentiful. A sign of the times is every electrical outlet in our greatroom is in use. DH got a super charger for our Ireland trip. DS got our very first kindle. My desktop, the jam box speaker for Pandora on my phone, my phone - all take a slot. DS was pretty excited to download a library book and the new Rick Rierdon. Santa also bought a hardbound "The Man in the Iron Mask" and an electronic game from the 80s I bought on Ebay - The General.

    Just the three of us till Sunday. It seems enough. But I also grieve that my family of origin is so fragmented there will be no holiday get together. Oh Well. I won't eat over it at least for this meal but i remain a little oversensitive. I gave DH the picture of the expresso maker I wanted. He bought something else (led astray by a Williams Sonoma clerk). DH can run a million dollar farm with hundreds of farm implements that require specialized parts and yet he can't buy the right coffee maker from a picture. I know I am being petty and I pulled myself out of a little dive. It is not the beverage machine, it is the sense that I am not important enough to be heard. Thankfully, counseling has uncovered that the opposite is true. I am so important to him that he panics at making the wrong choice and then freezes. He doesn't want to mess up. What I see on the surface is indifference.

    What does this have to do with compulsive overeating? Resentment is the number one offender for addiction. I eat at people, eat because of them, eat to feel I am enough when the world hasn't treated me like it should. I make stuff up (like DH doesn't care about me) to rationalize extra bites.

    In the end, I am responsible for what goes into my mouth and I want to take that responsibility more seriously.

    "Whatever you can do, or dream you can. Begin it. Boldness has magic, genius and power in it. begin it now." WOA I would say that walking through the creative work required for weight loss during the holiday season is pretty bold. I want a new ending to this forty year struggle. I'll take a little magic.
  • Hello coaches!

    I have been following Miranda's story as I have busy making good on my own obligations. I have also found some time for "me".
    Tuesday evening after work I crossed the continental divide in a blizzard in order to be present for my friends chemotherapy on Wednesday. when we arrived at the hospital she spoke with the doctor and told him she did not want to proceed with the day's treatment. It was canceled and she was given a two week break before restarting. On Monday I had asked her to please consider me if she was going to cancel and let me know before I traveled. My travel over had included seeing so many accidents and I could have stayed safely at home.
    I thought a lot about Miranda's situation and I also thought about mine. The months since my friends diagnosis in September have been excruciatingly complicated and busy. I am grateful that she has had a successful surgery and has stayed sober but I have found minimal amount of time for myself and my weight has been creeping up not down.
    I thought long and hard and made my decision. I shared it with my friend, her doctor and nurses, and with two of her other friends Who have been helping out here and there.
    I simply told them the truth. During these next few months, when traffic is heavy and snow is abundant, I would not be able to commit to making weekly appointments with my friend. The risk I would have to undertake weekly was too great for myself and my family. I promised my friend that I would speak to her every day by phone and that I would support her in anyway that I could from afar. Everyone understands. I feel good about my decision. I trust that God will provide the next footsoldier for my friends journey.
    My need to take care of me moves to the front of the list. Credit. We traveled over this morning in yet another Blizzard and my DH's DD and Gran kids don't come until tomorrow. I have spent the Christmas Day horizontal, reading and rereading The many topics which interest me regarding getting healthy and remaining healthy.
    I believe I still need to travel over next week in order to fulfill a commitment to my husband. I have not made that decision 100% yet. Will see how weather progresses.

    Waving to everyone!
    Yay Miranda and yay Beck! And yay to all of us!
  • Lexxiss:

    So proud of your decision to to care of yourself. It is very brave. Super credit.
  • The house is quiet again, and it was just DH's folks and older daughter. His father called me outside when they were getting ready to leave to in a way say that he was about to explode in frustration at his grand daughter and her lies, lack of pride, etc., and he could see me right there with him. I physically removed myself from the table and was quiet. He said he's been dreading this since she asked to ride with them over here - he just wanted to enjoy his time with us and not deal with her lies and attitude. He also said he knew I was thinking a lot of my folks and missing them because I was a lot more subdued/quiet. He talked a bit about his mom, who he lost when he was a senior in HS. We rarely talk personal stuff, so those were nice moments.

    Credit - skipping the pie tonight from MIL ... few hors d'oeuvres ... not extra eating despite brunch. I have trouble with having brunch and wanting to add in more food. For keeping my trap shut with step daughter who has no pride, no ambition, no desire to do an honest day's work and brags that she can "work the system" and i find that despicable and loathsome. As does DH. And while it's not about the gifts, she again comes empty-handed with not even a card for DH. Not even a CARD. I can't even. I'm bringing myself to tears of frustration right now just thinking about it. How do you, as parents, deal with this. I don't have kids. I treated my parents well. How do you deal with someone who just is a taker, an abusive, obnoxious, selfish, taker?

    Not a Beck issue. And I can't eat over my aggravation. But I want to. I'm sipping hot tea. Maryann - I like your lines above about resentment. I resent her treatment of DH and I resent that he accepts it now and then. Do you ever tell your child NO, you cannot come here because you treat me badly? Or do you always accept the prodigal child?

    Lexxiss - Many credits for your thoughtful discussion and acknowledgement that you deserve to be considered, and that you have thought of another solution that will work for all with safety and time in mind.

    Bill - Your Christmas Eve day sounds wonderful. Your wife is lucky to have a partner involved in the day-to-day and holiday prep. A family gathering around a baby is how it should be. I'm looking forward to baby time while at home.

    We'll get on the road tomorrow but no set schedule - we'll pack in the morning and get rolling at some point. Goal is to be home by Sunday at some point... Rain storms moving through here for two days -3-6" of rain expected. Thankful it's not snow.
  • Saturday - First day of Kwanza (1966)
    Diet Coaches/Buddies Rode a hoverboard for the first time! CREDIT moi for the courage with some reservations that falling from an adult height would have had consequences. I rode withing the den of the kid who, graciously, let me have a turn. My SIL hovered nearby terrified that I'd fall and break a bone. It was fun. It takes a few minutes to stop the small body motions that make it turn in a circle, then it's easy to get it to go forward and to make it stop. One begins to think that the hoverboard just knows what you want to do - like a bicycle does. The kid said that one charge lasts about two hours.

    Eating included holiday snacks. I wish I could report that they were only once-a-year stuff, but junk food of all sorts gets set out.


    Debbie (Lexxiss) Super Kudos for recognizing that making choices was required, sane, and loving. I wish you well with your blizzard travels. I'm old enough to remember back when the East Coast had snow. And winter weather. Like last year even. (Yesterday, everyone was out in shirt sleeves with their new Christmas toys.)

    maryann - LOL at all the electrical outlets taken with electronic gadgets - that stuff does accumulate. Kudos for fighting for perspective on relationships, both marital and birth family.

    nationalparker Your FIL is a jewel! Kudos to you for helping to keep the tension low even though you felt enormous frustration. Have a safe journey today.

    Readers -
    Quote:
    Chapter 3 Stress Traps

    #2: The Unreasonable Rules Trap

    Miranda realized that she needed to take her own advice. She made this reminder card:
    If I want to be healthy and want the kids to
    be healthy, I have to make healthy eating a
    top priority. The boys might be disappointed if
    I don't go to all their practices and games, but
    they'll get over it. And it would be good to get
    Adam more involved in their lives.
    Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 56
  • Good morning, Coaches.

    Day 7 is arrange environment. perfect timing for the day after Christmas. When DH wakes up I am going to have a frank conversation of what to do with all the sugar stuff we have in this house. He has worked hard to lose some weight which he doesn't want to jeopardize but he has a horrible fear of wasting food. I will start with the positive - how well we have done so far and it was nice to have treats but now . . . I have a plan to go to an AA meeting and take a box of stuff. Then we can bring some to Dillon Beach over New Years.

    Oops here he is now. Signing off.