I have been in a riptide .I keep my eye pointed forward but the current keeps holding me back. This week I have negotiated an extra day of work as I returned from over the hill, 2 grandbabies and visiting stepdaughter , some immediate needs from 2 AA sponsees, my yard/home, husband who has decided to rejoin the family unit (with a trip to Denmark for which he needs "immediate" answers) AND my foodplan/and time for me. I found time for ME by reading books everyday and heading to Denver Friday for my CODA meeting, which was much needed. Despite craziness right now I am able to see I am making personal progress as I am learning to separate my issues from those of others and learning to respond rather than react. Credit. Foodwise I have slipped a bit, yet am very close to where I need to be. I have Today and Today I Get Back On Track. Credit. DH and I had an early morning meeting at a WHFoods in Denver. I had smoothie before we left and I brought my own breakfast, which was just WhFoods ingredients recycled into a simple meal LOL Fortunately, it's a place where bringing your own food is acceptable. I passed the free cookies at WalMart (thought of you all) and have returned home to a food plan for the rest of the day. Credit. Scale is up a few and time to draw the Beck line in the sand.
Maryann, I like your 5 week tally! What a cool way to think of it .like a sobriety chip.
gardenerjoy, I always think it is awesome when we find something that doesn't work. We can cross it off the list and not keep trying to make it work again and again. Credit.
eusebius, yay for back on track!
curleyjax, I find my routines to be super important!
BBE, I forgot to look at BB's at WhFoods today. I bought an organic watermelon the other day which is taking up much space in the fridge.
onebyone, I went and bought The Magic of Tidying .had a gift card at a bookstore. When you discussed the process with clothes I could relate to the "freedom" part. What I have found is that the clothes I saved for this weight aren't "me" at this weight and I'm grateful to be rid of the bigger clothes. I truly believe it has helped me "not to go back". (PS I suggest taking this Kondo process one day at a time. You don't have to think about the books now. One step at a time is so much easier.) Best wishes as you challenge yourself to follow her lead.
Kudos, too, for getting back to business with your food plan and WW meeting.
SuzLen, ouch for having to eat with A DH with a huge appetite right now. Although I make a habit of weighing everyday I will occasionally skip the one day after restaurant food. The scale always jumps for me then comes back down if I follow my plan.
nationalparker, I am amazed at your baking! Good for you deciding that work is better than staying at home worrying. Hope it is resolving!
Ok, time to head down and make my lunch. I planned todays early trip with the thought of some down time this afternoon. I head back to the real job tomorrow.
Hello Coaches,
After a fretful night of sleep due to the dinner out and the stress over that weight gain, I drove to Little Rock and bought a treadmill!!! It was expensive, but I think it will be well worth it. It is used, but in great condition. My husband was super supportive and said "If you want it, get it." Of course, we had just come from getting him a new pair of running shoes It will be delivered and setup on Monday afternoon. yah!
I am done eating for the day CREDIT - and ate breakfast OP and reasonably for lunch. CREDIT The scale had not dropped this morning as I had hoped, so I guess it wasn't water gain.
Lexxiss: just reading your post wore me out. I am glad you were trying to carve out some time for yourself in that craziness.
maryann: good luck on your 5 week journey. October will be here soon....
gardenerjoy: finding that something to do after eating is a good goal for me. I tend to want to linger and the enjoy the food a bit longer..
curlyjax: thanks for your encouraging words!
BillBB: sad times when one realizes that fresh berry season is over!
I am off for some raspberry tea before working out. After that sleepless night, I also feel like a power nap....
Woke up sick yesterday and went to work and sneezed my fool head off ... at first thought it was allergies due to sleeping with windows open for the first time in a while with the cool off. As the day progressed, I felt terrible. DH said let's move the dinner out to another night, but not sure why I didn't want to cancel the reservation. Dinner out was enjoyable and our table was the most secluded, intimate table we've ever had dining out. Have slept much of the day today. Apparently I subscribe to the feed a cold, feed a fever. Haven't eaten a LOT but have been snacking here and there.
Received some wonderful chocolates for my birthday and have put them aside after splitting two with DH. Actually I HID them bc he'll roll through it without thinking and I want to savor them now and then. Does that make me greedy... I suppose so. But will own it.
Energy level is a 0 ... and this would be a day to walk the trail in comfort, weatherwise. DH is back to working nights.
Maryann - Go for it on the five weeks. I used to like that aspect of it but rarely reached the low weight. Now I've gained fat and even getting to a same number of my way UP I find my clothes are tighter on the way down and that is really getting into my mind. Jumbled thoughts but I need to be more active this fall.
Striving for a touch of the 'good life' today just ended up being a mid-afternoon hot bath. Saved the floating candles for one tonight in the dark to just veg out and enjoy the steam.
Sunday - National Grandparent's Day (Jimmy Carter 1978)
Diet Coaches/Buddies Seemed like a short and unproductive day. I made a huge green salad for dinner with friends. We saw the original, 1955, Alex Guinness version of The Ladykillers. So I'm sixty years late in watching one of the funniest films of all times. I see that there's a 2004, Tom Hanks version; I'll give it 49 years to ripen, LOL.
Meals were on plan, CREDIT moi. Snacks suffered from nibbling as I tried to get some things done. I can celebrate that all the books and all the duffle bags put out on our curb are now gone. Yay for the folks that will take almost anything from a FREE box.
Joy (gardenerjoy) Kudos for planning the moment that you had observed that you had to get through.
Erika (eusebius) Kudos for the miles, accepting the rain, and avoiding the convenience store.
Debbie (Lexxiss) Passing FREE cookies at WalMart is worthy of Kudos. Yay for an organic watermelon to keep the feeling of summer alive.
maryann - Congrats on your scale drop. The [QUOTE] button below a post is the easy way to insert an entire post into your reply; you do this first, then edit down the parts you don't want. The other way is to COPY the text you want to quote, then hit the [Quote icon] (a box with text like the words of a cartoon character) then PASTE the text into it.
nationalparker Ouch for feeling sick - hope some relief comes soon. LOL at "feed a cold, feed a fever" - why Yes, of course.
curlyjax - Ouch for being confronted with the reality of our finite life; it always catches me by surprise when I see how easily I ignore that.
Sandy (love2garden) - Ouch for shoes feeling loose and tight on alternate days. Hope all went well with your DD in the city.
SuzLen - Super Kudos for getting that treadmill - that's seriously planning for exercise.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 1 Are You Trapped?
The Power of Your Mind
Learning to identify - and respond effectively to - unhelpful, unrealistic thinking and to develop concrete solutions to problems are key features of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, also known as CBT. (Cognition is another work for "thinking.") CBT is a form of talk therapy that has been demonstrated in over a thousand clinical trials to be effective for a wide range of psychological and behavioral problems. Aaron T. Beck, MD (our father and grandfather, respectively), is known throughout the world for developing this modality of treatment in the 1960s and refining it ever since.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 11
Day 33 of count down. Food On Plan and I was able to ride the exercise bike for twenty minutes. This is a huge step in my rehab. Credit for not focusing on what I USED to be able to do but instead giving myself props on my comeback. Today I will do another 20 minutes, a few stretches and some crunches.
Onebyone and Lexxiss: This is why I participate in this blog. You two mentioned the tidy book and I cleared out my bedside table (mess) and my warranty file. I dropped a huge bag at the Goodwill. You all remind me of what works.
I also spent about three hours in my closet. I used my wardrobe ap. I made an event category "163 pounds" and I created 11 work outfits that fit right now at the weight I am. The ap takes pictures and files the look. The fun news is I found a pair of pants for work that I forgot about. That really opened up some possibilities.I put all pants that don't fit into the hall closet until mid October.
Looking put together is very important to me. I spent YEARS wearing two pairs of ill fitting pants and a sweatshirt with a stain in the front. It was an outward manifestation of my inward depression and self neglect. Putting together cute outfits is a behavior that is very comforting to me. I prove to myself I can self-care.
And where did I get the courage to photograph myself in a mirror? "Victory," I say.
I made an almost-reasonable substitute to the plan yesterday. I'm going to be okay with that as long as it's not too frequent.
Today's challenge is a baby shower. At noon, so I assume we're getting lunch. The hostess specializes in gorgeous iced sugar cookies that taste good, too. And, here's how I know that life isn't fair -- she weighs all of a hundred pounds. So, my plan is to focus on veggies, tiny servings of everything else, and no more than one cookie!
WI: -0.45 kg, Exercise: +40 490/1300 minutes for September, Food: 80% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
My thought process right now is why can I not just get this under control once and for all? I do other things well, why not this? What is wrong with me? Saw a story on yahoo today about "stop listening to the crap going on in your head" ... stop complaining and think of your successes and what you're doing right. Echoing today's excerpt - thanks Bill.
Bill - I am a Tom Hanks fan and that's the only one of his movies (Ladykillers) that I couldn't even finish. I thought it was terrible, language was horrible and not sure why he thought that was a good role for him. But that's just me. Wait the 49 years to see it. Thank you for the reminder of Grandparents' Day. I did not know it was a remake - so now I wonder how much better the original was!
Joy - Hope your plan was successful and you had a good time at the baby shower. That is a tough combination to beat - beautiful AND tasty iced sugar cookies. Quite often the two don't meet
Maryann - Great job shopping in your closet - that's wearing a work outfit only twice a month, if that! Credit for doing that! I hope we have capris weather until DH's next stretch of nights and then I'll tackle that project here.
SuzLen - Credits for taking action and finding/buying a treadmill that you'll use! Perfect time, too, as the weather and daylight start to work against outdoor activity with regular jobs.
Lexxiss - I have to keep reminding myself that you have the same 24 hours I do. And that you cram yours much more full than I do! Credits to continue your healthy habits at every turn, it seems!
CurlyJax - Thinking of you today and hoping that you and your family have a great week. It seems that you keep getting handed another tough situation and you respond with kind thoughts and caring.
Last edited by nationalparker; 09-14-2015 at 12:13 AM.
Reason: deleting griping
Diet Coaches/Buddies Eating was not on plan. Ouch. It was a three eating event day; I struggled to enjoy the events and stay a moderate path. I did better than I would have if I hadn't worked at it. The last was taking DW to a choice restaurant to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It a satisfying moment to make each year together.
Most walking was stymied by threatening rain. Recently, we don't actually get rain - just the threats that make going outside undesirable. We walked to our car from the restaurant in the clear; we drove home in drizzling rain; we walked into our house in the clear. It changes rapidly.
Joy (gardenerjoy) LOL at the image of your 100 pound hostess serving iced sugar cookies. Kudos for making a plan in advance.
maryann - Kudos for the huge bag dropped at Goodwill - I admire letting go of the unneeded.
nationalparker Thanks for "stop complaining and think of your successes and what you're doing right." I need a bit of that right now. Also thanks for the review of the Tom Hanks Lady Killers; I'll avoid it.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 1 Are You Trapped?
The Power of Your Mind
The heart of CBT [Cognitive Behavior Therapy] is awareness and change. CBT teaches you how to identify thoughts and feelings that trigger unhelpful behavior. By becoming more aware of your sabotaging thinking, you can slow down and question your assumptions. This moment of conscious reflection gives you the chance to make a different choice. Instead of immediately reaching for an extra slice of pizza, you learn how to stop and make a different decision.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 11
Hi Coaches,
Checking in again. Somehow I have managed to reach a new low on the scale today. Things are insane and I'm just trying to stay in the moment and not stress over everything. Today I teach and rehearse from 10 AM to 9:30 PM. I have my food packed and ready to go - I made a crockpot chicken pumpkin chili from my new favourite website, skinnytaste.com. Credit for that and for getting out this morning for a run - 8 minute intervals now. Four days until retreat time!! I can make it ...
I never did make a full plan for yesterday, but my plan for the shower worked brilliantly and the rest of the day followed along fine, too. Thanks, y'all, for letting me work that out in this space. It made all the difference.
CREDIT for writing a plan for today!
WI: -0.3 kg, Exercise: +40 530/1300 minutes for September, Food: NA op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
BillBlueEyes: thanks for the baby book suggestions a couple of weeks ago -- they were a hit! Happy Anniversary!
GardenJoy Successful Shower and special gift appreciated.
Erika What a long day you have yet I bet you will appreciate most of it. Especially being down a bit on the scale.
Bill Happy Anniversary to you both. The celebration Breakfast sounds like a good idea.
NationalParker Seems we can be mean to ourselves at time, and be thankful when we realize it and remember what is right with ourselves.
Debbie Thank you for being honest on here so we realize we are not alone with relationship issues with others as well as with ourselves. I'm celebrating the self acceptance that is new to me, and keeping me in a far better mood.
Credit: Morning walk in cool September air with DH. Very blue sky and sunshine felt good on my skin. Had energy to come back and garden for over an hour. Meanwhile DH was at the back of the house transplanting my baby Lenten ROses in better spots. He is so strong, no way could I have done what he did. Also Black Eyed susans cut down and mulched. Now the Maple tree has extra nutrition and tree roots are not such stumbling blocks.
Wow! I love my treadmill. DS was on it before I came home, and I got my interval workout in. It felt great - I felt in control - I felt on top of the world. CREDIT for OP meals until the end of dinner. But CREDIT for eating dinner mindfully before snitching some of DH hershey kisses. I have a terrible problem - I feel like I need chocolate. It's a problem - I can talk myself out of a lot, but that is my biggest weakness.
love2garden: I love it when it fall creeps in like that - cool mornings. We will need light sweaters soon when we leave in the morning.
gardenerjoy: yah for staying OP and having cookie control!
eusebius: congrats on the new low! And thanks for a new website to check out.
BillBB: Happy Anniversary!
nationalparker:
Quote:
I do other things well, why not this?
amen to that - let me know if you figure it out!
maryann: My clothes usually fall into two parts - shirts that can and can't hide my "sugar" belly. I haven't bought any new clothes since I lost weight. I feel I will jinx myself.
Tomorrow is massage day - after two months of cancellations because of conflicts with school activities. I can't wait.
We don't have television in our house, but we do enjoy some series on Netflix. I'm off to enjoy a 45 minute drama with DH and then calling it an early night. Woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep! (again).
Worked from home today, sick. Will head to bed here soon to try to get some solid sleep. Tossed and turned last night, alternately hot and cold. Did well on food today, and my planned treat was a 70-calorie See's chocolate. Scale a pound under ticker. Lunch plans for tomorrow have been cancelled, which is a relief to stay on track and not spread my germs. Want to just get the cajun food for dinner tomorrow - easy enough portion control and not a lot of components to the meal. Actually, i think I'll table that a night and see if DH wants breakfast for dinner. Cheaper since we ate out on Friday night for my birthday and I like scrambled eggs for dinner with some fruit salad.
Suzlen - Any thought to buying some REALLY good quality chocolate and enjoying only one each day? I'm frugal on some things and have resorted to this now and then...
Bill - Happy Anniversary! I keep forgetting to ask you - have you thought of planting blueberry bushes in your community garden?
Eusebius - GREAT job at keeping at it! A new low is wonderful!
Joy - Do each of your days follow a similar pattern or are M-F more structured than the weekend? I alternate between thinking I do so much better when home, and then think I do better when at work ... I'm bringing back the "Kitchen is Closed" sign you pulled out last year. I'm amazed some days at the number of times I find myself peering in the pantry.
Sandy - I wish you lived nearby to "push" me to get more done in my gardens. I need to set small goals with those like I do with weight loss. Hm. DH keeps mentioning every year that he wants to build a gazebo. Every year I say, I don't want the backyard to look like disney world with too much going on. He wore me down, but now I hope he doesn't pull out. Initially he kept saying he wanted to build it on top of one of my gardens ... now he says to the side of it, so I can save those plants. A fun winter project to plan it all.
Credits - Did quick marketing run in 20 minutes to the store, buying what I need for smoothie in the morning, and will bring a non-soup lunch. Have had enough sodium in a few days. Will prep that tonight.
Credit for stepping on the scale this morning. It's down a tad and that's welcome news. I stayed in my housecoat until 4pm today. What a slug I was but I earned it after spending the day yesterday, a 14 hr day all told, at an art show on the street in the rain and the DRIVING swirling TENT-RAISING wind. Yikes. I brought one cinder block from home with me since I knew we were on pavement and couldn't stake our tents down. I have three cinder blocks for this but the other two are at the farmers' market. In the morning, right after I put my tent walls up to help protect me and my stuff from the rain, the wind just lifted the three corners of the tent up and gave it a little side to side shake. The cinder block weighted corner stayed put but that was enough to have to jump up at every gust, heralded by the sound of the leafy canopy rustling and swaying right before a gust would reach us. It was difficult. Two vendors had stuff smashed. A booth with painting that were framed and the other was a jewelry person whose glass display case glass got smashed. I think that would be a difficult fix.
I planned to have lunch at the Lions Club BBQ but the bad weather had me paranoid and I ended up having 4 chocolate chip cookies and two coffees all day (7:30am-6:00pm). Picked up really great fresh Mexican food and that was that. Scale dropped today.
Food today was ok as well. I began what I think will be the final complete decluttering phase I will need to do in this apartment so long as we live here. Yes, I mean that. The Life-Changing magic of Tidying Up hooked me today. Much of the book did not seem like it meant anything to me but I was waiting for the auther to tell me I have "too much stuff". She does say that but then she says clearly, "I like loungewear. It brings me joy. Others like books. They have lots of books but every one of them brings them joy." Hello?! The lights went on for me. My house will bring me joy. It WILL reflect ME right now as I am. The things around me, my things anyway, will bring me joy. Isn't that great? I have only to honestly answer one question but I must ask it for EVERY SINGLE THING I POSSESS does it bring me joy? She says I will discover how much I really need. Right now I think i could eventually apply this to my food as well. Why not? I've documented my progress in the declutter thread so I won't write it out again but today was a good day. *credit for doing it*
Tomorrow night I am going to a free tai chi lesson! I am excited to go. I asked DH to come but he won't. Oh well. I have wanted to go to tai chi for a long long time. Now's my chance.
That's it. Off to bed for me.
love2garden I certainly do feel for your daughter and the weather outside this weekend. I hope she came through it ok!
maryann Tomorrow I want to do my bedside table, really the rest of the bedroom. Thank you for placing this thoght into my head! It is my logical next best step.
Lexxiss I went to CODA for a good length of time. It was really really good for me to go. I found it enormously helpful. I don't know what you'll think of the tidying book. Keep reading it is my suggestion. She spends so much time on clothes and on what I feel are teenage girl things and then wham she gets you! Super good to read you can be who you are and show it. You'd think I'd know that by now? So glad you stop by and check in with us.
Tuesday - Charles Darwin reached the Galapagos Islands (1835)
Diet Coaches/Buddies Walk, CREDIT moi, included stopping by the library to return two books - and take home none. I've still got a chunk of Galileo's Commandment: An Anthology of Great Science Writing to read for my reading group this Wednesday. A neat feature of this book is that each selection is separate. The challenge is that each makes me want to put down the book and contemplate what each writer faced when trying to figure out the world with the science of the day.
Food was OKish - CREDIT moi for what it was. Lunch was a garden-grown tomato sandwich. It was juicy, juicy, juicy. I had to change my shirt after lunch kind of juicy, LOL. Dinner was consumed inside since it was a tad chilly yesterday.
onebyone Kudos for your work organizing your life. It encourages me to take some small steps here.
Joy (gardenerjoy) Kudos for successfully planning. [Yay for the zillion neat kids' books available.]
Erika (eusebius) 10 AM to 9:30 PM is a loooooooog day. Congrats on that new low scale reading.
nationalparker Kudos for planning a finite amount of See's Chocolate - that addictive place. [Blueberries would consume a big chunk of our community garden - but it's an interesting thought. A neighbor has a large high-bush blueberry in his front yard but never offers us any.]
Sandy (love2garden) - Yay for blue sky and sunshine in September. And Yay, indeed, for Baby Lenten Roses.
SuzLen - Ouch for "I feel like I need chocolate." Chocolate does some real calling to many of us. Kudos for working to talk yourself out of it.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 1 Are You Trapped?
The Power of Your Mind
Imagine what might happen the next time you see a plate of delicious cookies you hadn't planned to eat. In the past, you might have simply accepted sabotaging thoughts like these:
"I can't resist."
"It's okay if I only have one."
"Just this one time won't matter. I'll make up for it later."
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 11
It will be delivered and setup on Monday afternoon. yah! 
Sunday - National Grandparent's Day (Jimmy Carter 1978)
and the other was a jewelry person whose glass display case glass got smashed. I think that would be a difficult fix.
Hello?! The lights went on for me. My house will bring me joy. It WILL reflect ME right now as I am. The things around me, my things anyway, will bring me joy. Isn't that great? I have only to honestly answer one question but I must ask it for EVERY SINGLE THING I POSSESS does it bring me joy? She says I will discover how much I really need. Right now I think i could eventually apply this to my food as well. Why not? I've documented my progress in the declutter thread so I won't write it out again but today was a good day. *credit for doing it*