So, it's Monday morning now and I weighed *credit to see 275. last Monday I weighed and I saw 275 as well. I am messing up over the weekend and starting the work week with a gain in weight which I fight to bring down in an impossible 4 days to Official Weigh-in.
This "habitual pattern" needs to be dealt with or I will spin my wheels and it will take me a month to lose a pound and that will eventually send me off track once more. I think I need to make a rule that I only eat what I bring from home on my market day. I truly can't afford to be making food decisions while there feeling an Oh Well kind of laxness coupled with an "I earned this!" self-righteousness. I want weightloss success. I have to do what it takes to get that.
Today I have made my breakfast. I made DH his breakfast as he is off to work ON FOOT. Today he is starting to walk to work and home from work. He estimates it to be 6000 steps each direction. He is aiming for about 18,000 steps a day. At work he gets about 4K during the day. So even with all this he will still need his night walk to reach his target and I really have got to make myself go with him. Maybe I'll do that during the work week-walk at night with DH 5x a week. That would surely help the weighloss and the fitness level. I was feeling a little afraid that he would sooooo eclipse me health and fitness wise. Like he is actually doing what it takes to lose the weight and get fit while I what? make excuses? Hide behind being busy at work? Say I am too "exhausted" mentally and physically to do a little more?
All of that is true and SO WHAT? It's the same for him. Now, the BEST part of having him to walk to work is it means I can actually make the morning aquafit classes now! They are all at 9/9:30am. If he drives to work we leave at 9:30am so I haven't been able to get to them ever. But now??! +!!!! Except, of course, for today as I have to be at the guild for 10 to babysit the kiln that's been firing all night. But tomorrow!!!!
Thanks for listening to me. I was just feeling down and a bit hopeless this morning but I can see now, after sharing this with you all, that there are many more benefits and successes and positive structures being created to support my weightloss goals. I just need to keep at it and fiddle with it until I find the best combos that work for me.
Thank you all for your supportive words about my daughter. It truly means a lot to have such wise insight from such great people. We have an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow and I am hopeful that this is the right path for her.
Meanwhile I had a bit of unplanned late-night eating for a couple of days but as of yesterday I’m back on track. I’m not sure how my weigh-in will go tomorrow but I don’t think I’ve gained anything and my running is progressing. This morning I was still doing 2 minute run intervals but I reduced the walk intervals to 2 minutes as well. It felt pretty good.
This morning I started a new practice of getting up early. So far so good. I think the morning routine will help my productivity and mood.
I got a discouraging scale number this morning. I never wrote a plan yesterday, but I'm pretty sure I ate just fine, anyway. I'm calling it water weight and moving on.
WI: +1.05 kg, Exercise: +40 505/1300 minutes for June, Food: NA op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
onebyone: "fiddle with it" -- I love that phrase in this context. It makes it feel doable, even fun at moments.
So, here's my new response card: "When I feel fat, I'm one healthy choice away from feeling better."
This leapt off the screen to me and I caught it! I have made space to start writing in my new notebook and feel better. Thank you very much, gardenerjoy.
Eusebius, for you and for your daughter . Thinking of you both and wishing you good luck in working this out.
I really enjoyed catching up with posts. Onebyone forced me to look at patterns of my eating that set me up for failure. I know this. I know this. I know this. and yet. . . .
I am going to slow down to watch myself stand while eating. Although it feels like I do this automatically, I know remember that it is a choice. It is a choice I make in a split second but it is a choice. Here goes me replaying yesterday:
I see myself in the kitchen, standing, prepping food. I cut the apple. The juice gets on my hand. I lick it off. I notice the apples look delicious. I say "One bite won't matter." I tell myself, "I'll start tomorrow." And there it is. That permission "i'll start tomorrow." Next scene, I am at the party, they pull out ice cream, homemade brownies, homemade caramel. I am sitting down. I can't remember which came first "I want it and you won't stop me." "I will just fail again." "This is too hard." I stand up to get the bowl and for the rest of the day I expect nothing from myself.
I will be at a wedding next Saturday. When they bring out the wedding cake my only goal is to monitor my thinking. If I eat cake, I eat cake but I want to know what I am thinking.
But that is Saturday. For today, I have only two priorities: Make a Drs. Appt. and stick 100% to written plan. I can be a couch potato. I can go shopping eat the mall. But I will be 100% on Plan.
Gardenerjoy: Terrific insight: I am one decision away from feeling that I am fat. So true. A goal of under 160 is too far away. If I unpack that goal I find the reason for my failure. Under 160 is not tempting enough to deny myself the immediate gratification of sweet and overfull. My subconscious knows "under 160" won't take twenty years off my body, make me look like Cindy Crawford, or 100% guarantee to keep me safe from loss. Oh yeah! 160 is just a number. Not worth it. Then what is worth it to me: Freedom from obsessing about food every single day. freedom from going back over 200 pounds ( now that is a number worth worrying about.) More important -health. More alluring - If I follow the plan, I have a new and exciting path to follow because I don't know what it is like to consistently follow a plan. The adventure and thrill lies in following the plan not achieving a number.
OK I am ready to start the day. I have my xeroxed copies of skills for the week. I have a pencil to start checking off boxes. I'm psyched (as we would say in the 90s).
Progress (fat loss) is happening, but still very slowly and still not registering at all on the scale. I eat so few calories just to make the little progress that I do (1200/day) that it's very grinding and I fear lowering my metabolism. So I'm taking a week's break and focusing on maintenance for that time.
On plan and within calories on food, credit. Yesterday was an exercise break day, but this morning I did my regular hike. I didn't carry a backpack. It was 82 or so when I started and 88 when I finished 2 1/2 hours later. DH is in Washington for the week. I woke up at 2:15 and didn't go back to sleep. Started the coffee at 3 a.m. Had to wake up the dog to be sure he ate and got out before I left at 4:40.
I decided that even though Mon, Wed & Fri are gym days, I need to hike on the days it is below 85 when I get up. I can always go to the gym on the hotter days. It's supposed to be 110 most days this week. We'll see how the mornings go. I will do the gym 3 days, but it might be 3 in a row, even though that is not what is suggested.
It will be a quiet week for me. I got a few books from the library to read. I started one of them yesterday, Thinner This Year - a diet and exercise program for living strong, fit and sexy. I guess I'm about half finished with it. It starts out with "The Third Act", and I guess I am in my third and final act. I don't expect to live past 90. Anyway, it just reiterates what we all know about how being fit and thin prevents disease and makes for a more enjoyable life. These are the kinds of things that keep me motivated.
I think I might have lost another 1/2 pound. It is coming off very slowly. I'm hoping to keep my calories just a little lower this week. I can make things for dinner that I like, but DH would not.
I think I'll get cleaned up and try to catch a short nap before I pick friends up at the airport in a few hours.
SilverBirch Credit for finding a mantra that you can read to encourage.
Mary Ann Good for you with realizing how much of this is CHOICE. That was my wake up as well. Best news is the longer we continue recognizing the choice and making the best one, the healthier we become. Actually can learn to do the right thing without so much thought. A habit is born.
Violette I'm glad you decided to adjust your calories higher for week. I was afraid you may be too low in calories. Of course mine is much higher because I have lots more to loose.
eusebius Please keep us posted on your daughter. I agree with you that getting up earlier is bound to help us. Tomorrow I'm setting the alarm 1 hour earlier and should be able to get stuff done before it is so terribly hot.
Karen Hope you were able to get the nap you need so badly. You'll enjoy those friends far more if you are rested.
I'm stable at the 7-1/2 pound loss and trying to add still more steps each week. Last week was the most steps in ages. Plant to add more this week. Also trying to break up the sitting with more moving around. At least every hour, or better, every half hour.
With a good book I don't notice how much time has passed.
Hello, everyone! Checking in from Orlando with 90+temps and humidity. I am, however, NOT one of those people who is ever too hot to eat, and with the AC churning at warp speed for the gents in suits, I'm only hot when outside. Busy weekend and today ... tomorrow should be less busy and I wrap things up then, heading out on Wednesday. Food has been ... um... interesting. We took advantage of some truly ethnic cuisines that we do not have at home, enjoying a Cuban night and an southern Italian night. Grilled chicken in varying herbs for me each day - tonight was hotel fare of caribbean jerk chicken as no car available now with DH heading home. We rented a car on our own.
A lot of walking for me - all in my high heels so I'm ready to be done with this tomorrow. Much of the walking was due to my absolutely deplorable/non-existent sense of direction. Just found out that my walk to the conference rooms I've been circuitously (?) walking to multiple times a day from our room, which takes me about eight minutes to get to... can be done in about one minute through a different hall. Who knew!? I'm so aggravated with myself but have to step back and say, "I'm good at other things, but not directions or anything spatial." We have NO HOPE if I am the one who has to get us out of the woods on a hike
Had to get up before a few groups here to speak again, and that is down on my list of things I like doing. Then was blindsided with another one today, someone just said, "You're doing that, right?" My stomach churned as I said, "Absolutely I can." But inwardly I wondered why HE didn't just do it. Oh well ... It was nice to be thanked profusely by a number of people for my work through the year with them, reinforcing my desire to do a more consistent job of thanking others I work with.
Early morning tomorrow with a 7:30 start time. This evening will wrap up for me hours earlier than the past few with DH - sitting on the patio and chatting about 30 different subjects until 1:30 a.m. Time well spent, though.
Finished writing this but never hit submit a while ago. In the meantime though, I wanted something sweet just because ... and was going to go downstairs to get something treat-ish. Ended up having some leftover dry cereal that we bought a few days ago (Mom's Best brand which I like - no artificial stuff but still flavorful for a dry snack.) I ended up eating more than I should have but can count the 220 calories if that. SHEESH.
Diet Coaches/Buddies Did gym, CREDIT moi. It felt good to do some exercise after my three days of lethargy during a family visit. My walk to do errands became a drive to do errands when the rain wouldn't stop and I didn't want to expose stuff to the rain. Reading for the day was The Hardy Boys, The Disappearing Floor (1940). It had traveled home with us from a family library being dispersed. I read the entire series as a kid - absolutely loved them. I wanted to remember what they were like. Really enjoyed the period touches: the guys were cool because they were allowed to make long-distance phone calls; all dinners ended with pie and ice cream; they were good at finding phones where they could call home and tell their mom they'd be later than their 6pm supper time; the unmarried aunt lived with them; and, best of all, every twist and mystery was fully explained at the end. Yay for the good ol' days.
Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, including mango for evening snack. I did have an afternoon snack - the last piece of pound cake that drove home with us. I had ignored it for 24 hours waiting for an appropriate snack slot. I enjoyed my blueberries with breakfast, both for their blueberriness and for their normalness.
onebyone Love reading the straight-forward: "I want weightloss success. I have to do what it takes to get that." Congrats to your DH for committing to a three mile walk to work each day. Good luck planning how to use the car to your advantage.
Joy (gardenerjoy) We must reach some age where a positive scale jiggle doesn't create an emotional response.
Erika (eusebius) Sending supportive thoughts for you and your daughter today. Yay for getting up early - my time of the day.
silverbirch Yay for writing in your new notebook.
maryann - Thanks for the list of Sabotaging Thoughts. I cringe with recognition when I read, "One bite won't matter."
nationalparker Congrats for recognizing that you're good at speaking in front of a crowd. Love the image of you sitting on the patio chatting with your DH until 1:30am.
Karen (karenrn) - 110 just boggles my mind. Kudos for getting out by 4:40.
love2garden - Breaking up sitting with some movement sounds like a good plan.
Violette_R - Kudos for staying sane despite frustrations. A Period of maintenance is a good break.
Readers -
Quote:
Day 38Deal with a Plateau
Some plateaus are short-lived. You might step on the scale one week and see no weight loss, but the next week you do. These mini plateaus are normal. They might be due to water retention, hormonal changes, or other biological influences. Or maybe you took in too many calories that week or exercised too little. Occasional plateaus and small weight gains are inevitable.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 248.
Well, I have my confirmation! After the "bug" hit my house and knocked me out for the weekend, I have not focused on the "plan" for nearly a week and guess what?!? Last night I indulged because DH wanted to go out for some carbs (my son with celiac is at camp) - so IHOP it was. Let's just say, when I overeat I feel awful and last night was no exception. However, the good part is I realized just how important the steps to be consistent are. Wake up Call and Verification time. CREDIT, however, because with the exception to those two pancakes I ate, the rest of the day was ON PLAN. Lesson learned, today is a new day.
I am inspired by all of your posts - thank you for sharing your insights and struggles.
Yesterday was tough but I didnt eat over it. I had a pressure-filled meeting with a lawyer and then a very difficult episode with my daughter. I got through it okay but it was hard.
I ran both yesterday and today and planned my food. The only extra food I had last night was a skinny latte from Starbucks (2 points) because my daughter wouldnt eat the burger I made for her sigh.
I have a WW weigh-in this morning. Not sure if there will be a drop but Im okay with it if there isnt, since my loss last week was so big.
gardenerjoy - good call to just call it water weight and move on.
maryann - your posts are so insightful. Doable goals are so important.
Violette_R - I feel your frustration. I hope raising your calories leads to some progress for you.
karenrn - great job with your hiking and on plan eating!
love2garden - excellent work upping your steps!
nationalparker - wow you are busy down in FL! May I ask what your line of work is?
BillBE- kudos for exercise and for fitting pound cake into your plan. How fun to reread the Hardy Boys!
SuzLen - major kudos for getting back on track! This group is awesome. It has inspired me for years and I am so glad it's helping you too.
My mysterious weight gain wants to disappear in spite of a high-sodium stir-fry last night.
Like BillBlueEyes, I'm helped by blueberries right now. I can get myself to serve a smaller serving of starch if I'm going to put blueberries on top. I did that with breakfast and one snack yesterday.
WI: -0.6 kg, Exercise: +45 550/1300 minutes for June, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
BillBlueEyes: I'm glad the Hardy Boys held up to re-reading. I plowed through that series when the library ran out of Nancy Drew novels for me. Then, I had to switch to an adult mystery series and went for Perry Mason.
SuzLen: excellent example of how to learn from the missteps so we can do better going forward.
Silverbirch and maryann: I'm glad the notion of being one healthy decision away from feeling better helped you -- it's working for me!
Last edited by gardenerjoy; 06-16-2015 at 09:14 AM.
Morning friends..feeling a bit down, "fell of the wagon" this weekend and I'm finding it hard to get back into the flow of things...I'm letting hunger and self disgust take over...the ol' feeling sorry for myself trap!! Anyway, thanks for listening I get back, I know...
All the best intentions fell flat with the constant pain in my right arm. I just let it grow and overwhelm me into a state of negativity. Credit for not overeating but I didn't follow my plan which was my primary goal. After seeing the doctor with yet another prescription and more wait time, I guess I just wanted to take control. The scale is absolutely no information because of the meds I am on. And I refuse to take more pain med until my body gets back in sync. So I am sitting here this morning in a great deal of self-pity.
What can I do this morning? First things first: I ate healthy breakfast.
I cleared away some of the ridiculous confusion that is occurring as I score State Tests online from 6 p.m.-10 p.m three nites a week. This has been such a conflicted activity. The company is completely disorganized. The student essays are overwhelmingly horrible. The politics are ridiculous and they are paying me $10.00 an hour to do it - which is about 25% of my normal pay rate. I feel my education and experience count for nothing. These are the two reasons I am continuing on scoring:
First: It is my job to make my students successful on this test and now that I know what the company is looking for, I can make my students shine. (Don't get me started on how all school's training should be able to provide success for the kids.)
Second:
I never want to forget the value of an hour's work at minimum wage. It makes me grateful for all the advantages I have in this life.
No credit for watching Today's show. I never watch this stuff but I am stuck at home for the day. All I can think while watching is how our country's history of suffering, oppression, heroism and perseverance has allowed such silly people brief minutes of airtime that seem to trivialize all of us. This stuff makes me very hungry and I cannot change any of it.
Therefore, as a compulsive overeater I must chant to myself as I turn off the tube: "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation --- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, situation the way it is supposed to be at that moment.. . " To live in this life I must accept life on life's terms and not hold my breath in a tantrum of protest before i begin to change the one thing I can - my own actions.
I am now going to get up, make my bed, comb my hair and play a new game with DS that he got for his birthday. These will be my little acts of positivism .
getting a grip on the weekends
+
!!!! Except, of course, for today as I have to be at the guild for 10 to babysit the kiln that's been firing all night. But tomorrow!!!!
and for your daughter 
Tuesday
