It has been a loooong time since I posted here. I have made a lot of huge changes in my life since then. I am now a separated mother of a 12-year-old girl and I'm working on a divorce. It's been a long road these past 2 years and I think the changes are for the better, but it's time to get serious about my health.
This week I did something I've never done before ... I went to a WW meeting. I enjoyed it and thought the leader was very positive and helpful. I also like the fact that 24/7 chat with WW leaders is available.
I've been tracking all week and hope to see at least a small loss this week. I'm trying to build my running stamina back up again and I was out run/walking 4 times this week.
On top of everything else, I moved last week, so I'm a bit exhausted now... thankfully I have a rare day off today so I can take things at a relaxed pace.
Very grateful that this group is still here helping people lose weight the Beck way. I'm on day 6 and I'd be honoured to be included here once again.
Welcome Erika! I wasn't on here when you were before, but I'm finding it very helpful.
Food on plan yesterday and did well with dinner at a friend's home. Still off the sweets and alcohol and feeling good. Just got back from 2 1/2 hour hike to Bell Pass with my backpack and 14 1/2 pounds. I'll be slowly increasing so that in a month I'm back to carrying 30 pounds.
No big plans for the day except see if my seam sealing worked as I sit in the tent while dh sprays with a hose to simulate rain. Will also get a little pool time in to try to keep my hiker tan a little more even.
I'm looking forward to a delivery from Amazon today. A new weight lifting/strength building book. I should know by now, just to do the exercises, but I keep thinking there is a better (easier) way. I'll let you know how it goes. More later.
WELCOME Erika You have really had a lot to adjust to in past two years. So glad for your day off. WW and the activity with people will help you, and so will coming here with others who are in some of the same struggles.
CREDIT: Passed up some sweets yesterday that normally would have been very hard to do, but because of several weeks without sweets, the desire was so low it was easy. CREDIT: My daily steps are increasing and time I'm active is more of the waking hours.
Looking forward to having time to post personals tomorrow evening as DH returns to working nights again. A busy day with DH's younger daughter's graduation, cemetery visit to spruce it up for his grandfather's site, some financial planning, and misc. oddball things. Scale will be returning to ticker before long, I fear. Two meals today - breakfast and "lunner" but enjoyed a thin sliver of cake afterward ... could have skipped it and left it for DH but had about 500 calories of non-needed food, so not a job well done today.
Spanky - Sending good vibes your way in a very rough year, it seems. Hoping that smoother roads are ahead for you and your family.
Credits for passing up eating dinner out this evening - decided to save the money and prep something that we had the limited ingredients for ... I feel good about that.
Storms rolling through tonight and I'm thankful for the rain we've had to green up the yard. Have hours and hours of yard and gardenwork to do. DH mentioned had I seen all the weeds in one garden - it's where he weed whacked a ton of thistle and surprise, we have about 200 thistle plants coming up. I was bent out of shape.
A very busy day today.I was able to complete phase 1 of my latest garden/yard reclamation. I put all my tools away and cleaned up the best I could because I go back to real work tomorrow. I have a literal mountain of weeds piled on a tarp which need to be disposed of. Credit for persistence.
Food choices have been good today. Scale was up a bit due to last nights potluck. I brought my own small plate and chose wiselyI had planned for dessert and I enjoyed it. All in moderation but foods I don't usually eat. I took my mom to Denver in the afternoon to get some of her errands done. She wanted to take me to lunch and I politely declined saying I needed to get home and get the lawns mowed before it rained. That was true, but on the other hand I did really want to have my meal at home since I had eaten out yesterday. Credit.
Tired. Will read and go to bed early.
Erica, welcome back! Glad you're joining us again!
Welcome back, Eusebius! I'm so happy to see you here. I know that BillBlueEyes will be thrilled as well. He's on vacation in Italy, so not posting at the moment.
Quick check-in here... Today's task "Getting Ready To Weigh In" is already something I feel I'm doing all the time... Lol... But seriously, some useful stuff in that little chapter... I just did a quick check of my weights from last week and I was actually at my highest last Monday and my lowest on Thursday... Part of the task is graphing your weight loss which I've been doing for a couple of years now... It's a great visual reminder for me of how my weight bounces around on the way down...
I'm debating on whether or not I want to keep trying to "manipulate" the scale this week to show another "loss"... Not only is it tough physically, but mentally it is very draining as well...
I think this coming week I'm going to focus on getting more "active" again... I made arrangements to meet with a trainer at a little private gym that a few of my friends use and really like... Also a friend of mine got this thing called an "ElliptiGo" which is cross between a bike and elliptical trainer that you ride outdoors... It looks like a lot of fun... So I might give that a spin... Also I'm thinking about getting a pair of Kangaroo Jumps (?)... those bouncy exercise boots and bounce around in those... Lol.. And of course I can always dust off my inline skates and just play around on those too...
hi coaches!
Sat night i ate way too much pizza and ice cream sundae stuff, just because i wanted to- yikes! but still doing well resisting emotional eating. I have a coffee date with a friend at a place with the name Muffin in it- so i suspect i will really rely on my Beck skills to resist the muffins! I'm trying to do dessert on the weekends only so i don't feel deprived and start over eating.
I need to get back to exercising too! its been a little hot and my right leg has been weirdly aching-but i need to work through that.
W're working on a outdoor project of replacing two pieces of fence and a gate into the backyard. I have always wanted an arch type thing, so we bought one and DH and DS put it together yesterday. Next we need to buy some lattice panels and hook them all together but at least the first step is done!
Silverbirch-I have those Miriam Nelson books too, from way back! She was one of the first folks to prove that older folks can benefit from weight training and i am a big fan of hers. love to garden and KarenRN- good job avoiding sweets, and sweets and alcohol! I'm so impressed when folks get to the point where the craving has diminished. I don't think I've ever gotten there! Erika- Welcome back! Beautiful picture by the way. Spanky-I'm sorry you're dealing with all that financial stuff, that is a lot! We're dealing with job loss here too, its very scary.
Posting from phone today. I had some relief from my back problems . I slept well last night. I had to make the decision to take some pain meds that brought the scale back up to ticker. Practiced resistance yesterday. In my mind I've given myself some sort of permission to eat when I'm at the ranch office. So yesterday I told myself if I didn't eat one single thing at the ranch office I would buy myself a treat and eat it sitting down . I did this. Also, told myself at the end of each meal "that was your last bite, you don't need any more." I have problems ending a meal. It is "self will run riot " when I go back for an extra bite or two.
Although I don't feel like it, I will vacuum the house this morning . I tell myself that I only have to work for an hour. I can do just about anything for an hour. I usually just finish the job.
I had a bit of an epiphany last night. I’m either an overeater or I’m a recovering overeater. If there was ever a time in my life when I could have chosen to be neither of those, it’s long gone now. Now, my only choice is to be actively overeating or actively working to not overeat. Either one consumes a great amount of time and energy – the things I value most in my daily life. If I’m not spending that time and energy in actively working not to overeat, then it will be spent in actively overeating. One of my illusions is that it takes less time and energy to engage in my addiction than to engage in my recovery. But that’s not true, it’s just a different (and worse) way of spending that time and energy.
This helps me with priorities. I fret, sometimes, about the time and energy that goes into maintaining the structures that keep me in recovery. I wish that time and energy could go into something that seems more creative and productive. But recovery is creative and productive, and it’s the foundation for all other creative and productive work that I do. If I don’t devote that time and energy to recovery, then I will slip back into addiction and that’s a lousy place for creativity and productivity.
This is all related to a bunch of things that are coming at me right now to help me to reform my habits. All my habits will have to rest on the ones that keep me in recovery from overeating. So, I know how to approach these books and other materials – with a commitment to begin by incorporating the habits that I know make a difference to my recovery.
I took my friend out for a farewell dinner last night to Sumomaya where she wanted to go. It is a Japanese/Mexican restaurant. What a combo, huh? We shared small plates and luckily I had saved plenty of calories. No alcohol or sweets though.
Today is a rest day and also a bit of a hungry (or is that bored) day? I've had a snack and all of my food is planned, so "No Choice" until lunch time. I've begun to read my Strong Curves book and did a few of the exercises. Boy do I have room for improvement and I mean lots. As you all know, strength training is not my thing, but I know it needs to be. I am always wanting to do the cardio (hiking) because then I feel like I can eat a little more. In reality I need to build more muscle.
Dh is now down 9 pounds and it really shows. He has 6 more pounds to be at the weight he was 19 years ago when he did an Ironman. It's arranged a little differently at this point, but it's helpful for us both to be working on it.
GardenerJoy Thank goodness for your insight and diligence. Do your days when you want to overeat correspond to boredom like mine do, or not?
Maryann I'm glad you had a good sleep and some relief from the back pain. Is the pain anything that physical therapy might help or do you just need rest?
Curlyjax Sounds like the yard project will be really nice. Are you helping too?
TripSwitch Wow it sounds like you are really going to get active. The elliptigo and Kangaroo jumps sound fun and like a lot of exercise.
Lexxiss and NationalParker Sounds like lots of exercise in the yard work category for you both. The thistle plants sound like a horrible mess.
Erika I think there are several WW members among us. I am not on it now but have been in the past. I think we all know it's a good solid program. Sounds like you've got plenty going on in your life. Good luck getting settled in to your new home.
This is the strangest day. We went to Mass last evening so I could garden early while my strength was still up.
Liquids only in preparation for Colonoscopy early tomorrow. How good the black coffee tastes, and especially the Chicken Soup broth!!!
Knowing my entire insides would be cleaned out thoroughly with today's prep, I bought my favorite Dark Chocolate Rasberry Ice Cream and ate as much as I wanted last night for dinner!!! ]Strange that I reached the point I didn't want any more. That has never happened, ever. I'm sick of that favorite food now.
If nothing else, this may have been a smart move since it will be passed completely out of my body by morning.
gardenerjoy, your post really resonated with me today. I accept that I am either in food recovery or in my addiction. One day and one meal at a time. Beck is so helpful to me because it provides a daily structure. I spent a little time after reading your post thinking back to my childhood. I was never taught anything about nutrition or eating certain foods or the repercussions of anything. Nada. Not a having any education-there seem to be only one food rule-if it tasted good I ate it. And if it tasted really good I ate more. When I started junior high and high school and had some money i stopped at the convenience store every single day after school and bought those little pies and snowballs and Twinkies and soda pop and took them all home and ate them. My friends did, too. I believe I set myself up for a lifetime of weight issues without having one inkling of awareness of what I was doing.
So today I educate myself about nutrition. I choose to eat healthy. I choose to practice Beck skills. If I get off track I do everything I can to refocus immediately. And if I'm not able to refocus immediately I just keep trying. Credit.
So it's been a good food day so far. I had a good day at work eating very little in an eight hour shift. It was too busy for a proper meal. Got home and took a short siesta before having my main meal of the day. Food for later is planned. Credit.
Maryann, glad your back is feeling a little bit better.
Spanky. Welcome back! I am sorry to hear you are dealing with some stresses in your life right now. Take care.
Many thanks for the encouragement. Emotionally numb and frantic in rotation. Catatonic at the thought of sprucing up the house to get it on the market ASAP while still working through my mid-July termination date.
For some reason, I'm able to use my exercise bike hoping it will help with the stress. Food has not helped at all. A good thing.
I thought I would be using this day to prep for the workweek and I'm looking back wondering where it went. Did some cleaning this morning, laundry, then run to Trader Joe's after DH was up. His older daughter wanted to meet up with us today, so she headed there to do so as we were on the go. She's seeking out to meet up with him much more often, and if it's not just bc she wants something, I think that's good.
Prepped a large bowl of bruschetta mix (just tomatoes/onions/garlic/some olive oil) and had that for lunner around 3 before DH went in to work tonight. Did great marketing, with good menu for the week. Tomorrow will prep homemade black bean soup with onions and lime juice, along with cilantro lime rice. Looking forward to that - it's a good recipe.
Was going to head in to work tomorrow and then take a comp day later in the week, but now I'm thinking, take it now and then it doesn't get pushed aside and I lose it. So with that thought in mind, I'm thinking what can I do tomorrow to really take advantage of the day - a trail walk with the dog if not raining, if raining will ride the exercise bike. Prep three healthy meals including a strawberry fruit salad. Choose one project I'm dreading here and get it underway.
Lexxiss - Really enjoyed your post. It got me thinking about eating habits when a child. I probably was 10 pounds too heavy throughout junior and senior high, nothing alienating until I moved out it seems. THEN the ability to go out and buy, of all things, a chefboyardee cheese pizza mix and bake it up and eat with a friend or two was just AMAZING. I haven't made that in more than 15 years, but I know it'd be just as tempting to me now as it was then. Now the crazy thought just skimmed through, why not try it again now and see if I still love it. What the heck?
Spanky - Are there other labs in your vicinity that you might be able to work with or not an option? Good luck with the manic rush of trying to prep your home. That is not something anyone longs to do under the clock. Try to take a few minutes to breathe easy at some point each day. Credits for the exercise bike and not turning to food.
Karen - DH is in prime planning mode now for our camping trip. He suggested a B&B midway through but I said let's just camp this time, and save money we'd spend on a B&B for another time/place. I typically handle half-to-all of the trip planning, but this time I'll let him run with it. I'll get my listing of camp meals so I am not roaming around a market in Canada, picking up just anything. I REALLY struggle with eating too much when camping bc who DOESN'T want a s'more or two one night, the banana/brn sugar in tinfoil on the fire another night ... a cooked apple with cinnamon and some brn sugar another? Argh.
GardenerJoy - Remember that the time and energy you put in to your health is time/energy that will keep you healthier as the days/months/years pass. More than just for the scale reading and the clothes fitting now. I'm trying to reframe some of my thinking to this as well - even to the thought that down the line, maybe it'll result in lower health care costs if I can stave off the diabetes that runs rampant on my mom's side of the family and is a big black cloud on my mind sometimes.
CurlyJax - Hope you had a great time meeting your friend for breakfast - and that you made great choices. Your fence with arch (arbor?) sounds lovely ... I'd love that myself!
TripSwitch - Interesting about the mental weight on manipulating the scale. Years ago at ww one member reached a major goal she'd been working on for ages, the 25 pound mark. She finally made it and we were all joyful for her. Then at the end, she stood up and said, I confess ... i took a diuretic so I'd reach this ... so she gave it back and waited two more weeks - bounced up the next and then dropped greatly the following and she joked if it hadn't she'd have removed her watch, earrings, etc. How we let it get into our minds at times to such a degree. Me, too. Sometimes I'll think, no, not soup today. Too much sodium - even if that's the ONLY prepared food I eat that day.
