Yarp! Yesterday we dove back into the process of buying a business. We've been working on this for two years now and think we've finally found the right one to buy. It's been a roller coaster getting to finding the right one to buy, then courting the owner [we're buying a funeral home], then all the back and forth with financing, offers, etc. Stress Central. This is a first ever for us so we feel the stress more, I guess.
Last night I just lost it entirely. Did all the paperwork needed by the bank and broker and owner, then sat in a stupor eating every single solitary thing I could find. All the dogs barking like crazy and my son going off the rails--both dogs and kid feeling our stress, no doubt.
Today there's more paper but not so scary. We go on and off with the stress but keep up with the stuff we need to do, keeping our heads above water. We're back in a wait-and-see phase.
Today I'm on plan so far and not freaking out. I am going to bump up my calories to 1400 to see if it helps lessen the prowling.
Spanky Hope your hard work is successful. We really have to learn how to handle stress in a better way!!! At least you were able to get all that paperwork completed! Congratulations.
I'm looking at 2015 in a more positive way. 3 big issues have been conquered, one a major issue for years. Now, surely, I can use that same successful technique to get the excess weight to grow less.
Didn't realize till this week that I've made such good strides in those three other areas and done as Beck suggested, acknowledge the right things I do.
Gardening today, dividing and planting some stonecrop in the areas we mulched because soil is so bad. Today I put over 15 plants because this is one plant that appreciates poor soil and believe me that is exactly what they are now firmly planted in.
Karen When you mentioned the struggle to get dressed, I finally realized how handicapped you really are. Getting off those pain pills is really hard, when they really are sill necessary.
NationalParker Sounds like you do have success. Stringing together so many days in the right way is really paying off.
Last edited by love2garden; 04-09-2015 at 03:33 PM.
Reason: new thoughts
I am stealing gardenerjoy's "radical self care" line. With another rise in the scale this morning and a lot of thinking last night, I have decided to commit to even greater discipline with my food. I will take the next step of strictly portioned meals. I have been avoiding this step but an open three meals a day is not producing a weight loss. Acceptance (not approval) is the answer to all my problems. Do I want to lose weight? Yes. Am I willing to go to any lengths? Seeing as I have failed for five months now, the answer is "Yes." I surrender with a big "Oh Well."
So I have spent hours creating an interchangeable set of 4 menus for each meal that follow my guidelines and which I know are easy and enjoyable. Into my My Fit Pal I have put them as "my meals." I have named them B-1, D-1, (breakfast 1, dinner 1 etc. . .) The plan I am following has added a 10:00 bedtime metabolism booster (the last time I seriously lost pounds I was doing this so I put it back in) of a protein and a fruit. Now when I entered my food plan, I can do it by shorthand, taking out all guess work. Beck talks about doing this in the pink book.
And go figure, I didn't plan by calories but by nutrition and just guess how many calories they turned out to be. Yep, between 1400 - 1600. There is no escaping universal truths of what it takes to lose. I had to tell myself while planning100 times "Just follow the rules" when my mind taunted me with, "Now eating this or that won't hurt." I remained strong though and towed the line.
What was the big push to do all this? I was watching a TLC episode of My 600 lb. Life and I realized I was not much different than the poor souls on that show. The episode showed a plate of food from a 1,000 cal a day diet and my food looked NOTHING like it even though I was eating only 200 cal per meal more - about the difference of an ounce of nuts. I also related to the poor woman because I didn't want anybody telling me what to do and yet remained baffled by my lack of weight loss.
The two big differences for which I am extremely grateful are my exercise plan and my ban on fast food both of which have been in place for years.
So here I am devoting a whole day of vacation to prep of menus and portion a GIANT bag of spinach into 10 smaller containers for salads for the next two weeks. I have also made a new salad dressing that follows my guidelines. I plan tomorrow to cook lots of veggie sautés that I can freeze in smaller portion and use during the work week. I will also make a large batch of a veggie soup in my vitamin to freeze in 1 cup portions. This seems a fine self-caring way to spend my vacation.
More tomorrow. I have to actually pay attention to DS now because he is on spring break as well.
Hello Coaches
Today I met friends for lunch at a Thai restaurant. I approached it with only a vague plan to “eat something light and reasonably healthy”. I’m happy to say I did well. I ordered just spring rolls and a peanut sauce. Delicious.
And to prevent feeling deprived while my friends ate larger meals, I decided to use this lunch as a good practice session to work on the Beck step about eating slowly and mindfully. That helped. To have an “assignment” to focus on. I DID grab a tootsie roll from the bowl on the hostess desk on the way into the restaurant. And another on the way out. That’s disappointing. Yes, only a tiny bite, but it was off plan and weakens my resistance muscle. At least I stopped at 2. But still. I don’t want a slippery slope to form. Been there. Done that in the past. I fear that before you know it, I’ll be sliding back to old habits.
But at least I’m owning up to it. I’m not in denial. Beck says denial is when we start a sentence with “It’s okay if I eat so and so because”…. Whatever comes after the “because” is deluding ourselves. So I admit that I veered off plan and I plan to strategize ways to do better in the future. So that’s the good part.
My pedometer app has been running constantly, and I’m pleased to see more steps than I had thought. And what a good cheerleader, encouraging me to go a little farther.
Onebyone: Yay for (un)intentionally staying under plan. And cool that your town is so involved with helping artists….a neat place to be an artist, it sounds like.
Maryann: I like the way you say “I will not let it overshadow successes.” And “Nobody can keep me abstinent and nobody can pull me off plan.” As to the small percentage of people who can get the last pounds off, I think those of us who follow Beck have an advantage, since we have a program to change our way of thinking. That is so much different from what most people call a “diet”. So, I would EXPECT that we have a better chance of being in the 20% than the pool of ALL dieters.
Bill: Kudos on the OP eating and the walks, and more rain? Jeepers. You’ve sure had a lot of precip. And yay for saying no to the delectalbes on the table.
Thanks for the note about Penzey’s. Every since I was diagnosed with my heart disease, my sister-in-law sends me gift boxes of Penzey spices. Yes, they are wonderful.
curlyjax: That’s so cool that you and your dh will now be partners striving for the same goal. That should help tremendously, both practically at the dinner table and moral support. I’m fortunate that my bf, although he doesn’t need to lose weight is a very healthy eater and is 100% in favor of my serving healthy foods and moderate portions. (and he's a SUPER vegetable chopper).
GardenerJoy: I love your phrase "radical self-care" and the excellent idea to eat only foods from your own kitchen. I know I do SO much better when I eat at home vs. going out. Thanks for your note about how baking bread helps. I also bake our bread (I mix it in the bread machine, then form the loaves and bake outside the machine). Do you have some fav recipes?
Nationalparker: Yay for reaching Day 12 on plan! And glad to hear it feels great to be in controll. And cool to have the scale reflect your efforts. Thanks for sharing your story about your folks and salt. It's tough, for sure. But it's good to know that just like dieting in general, the goal of lowering sodium also benefits by using Beck skills.
Spanky: Kudos for being on plan and not freaking out. I’ll be interested to hear how your calorie bump works out. It's good to experiment.
Love2Garden: Kudos for making good strides in several areas of your life. Do you mean it has been Beck skills that helped you there too? I’ve sure found that Beck skills have helped me in other areas of my life. One of my advantage cards speaks to the benefit of “spillover” of the skills I learn in and the strengthening of my resistance muscles spilling over to other areas.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Did gym with trainer, CREDIT moi, adding some exercises that annoy me. I'm pleased with that since I don't have much trouble getting myself to do exercises that don't annoy me. The trainer wouldn't let me even rest my hands on the rails of the treadmill, "You work harder on balance if you touch nothing." If I shut my eyes, it was easy to drift toward one side or the other. Walked home after an event in misty air of 100% humidity. It wasn't raining so opening my umbrella wouldn't help; I arrived home dripping wet all over. It felt strange.
Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, including fresh pineapple for evening snack. It was less than 100% only because dinner was planned takeout from a Greek restaurant and even though I left half the white rice, it wasn't the standard healthy calories of a normal dinner by DW. It did, however, include pickled turnip that I only get at this place.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – I, too, love your notion of "radical self-care."
maryann - Yep, super use of your vacation time to plan and prep meals for the work week.
spanky - Ouch for the emotional pit that comes from success. Hope all your work leads to a new business venture. Green burials are catching on around here - their simplicity still needs funeral home services.
nationalparker – Yay for your new bike's arrival and Yay for a two pound scale jitter in the right direction. [I ordered a chick-pea fritter sandwich that's stuffed with shredded carrots, humus, lettuce, and whatever - really good.]
curlyjax - It's embarrassing to complain about our East Coast week of rain when the country needs it to be falling in California. Yay for having your DH join you in quest.
love2garden - Triple Kudos for "3 big issues have been conquered" - that's a lot of success in one gulp.
Ani (dailypractice) - Thai restaurants offer so many good options - good choice. Kudos for sticking to your pedometer app.
Readers -
Quote:
day 34Solve Problems
Identify the Problem
"What should I do now?" will help you solve the problem. Think of various solutions. Weigh the pros and cons of each. Pick one solution to try and see how it works, just like Dena, a dieter I counseled, did.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 232.
Update on my frustration over the scale not moving when I'm pretty sure I'm losing fat: yesterday a casual acquaintance asked, with no mention of dieting/weight loss on my part, if I had lost weight. So it's not just wishful thinking on my part.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm off on my first proper vacation in a few years. A western Caribbean cruise bookended with two days in New Orleans. I have a diet plan in place and have told it to my travelling companion, who wasn't particularly supportive. She insists she never overeats on vacation and therefore I won't either. I don't mean this in a mean way, but her body belies any claim that she doesn't struggle with overeating. Also, I have a marked history of throwing all reason to the wind while on vacation and eating like stray dog who found the garbage cans behind Applebees. I explained this to her but she either doesn't get it or secretly wants a bacchanalia companion.
The good news is: 1) I've heard her make disparaging comments about people she thinks eat too much, so that will always be at the back of my mind and 2) her way of dealing with her own weight is marathoning, so we'll be exercising a lot (the ship has a gym and a track.)
So anyway, the plan is to relax and enjoy myself on the first and last days of the cruise, then otherwise eat very lightly at two meals (toast/oatmeal, fruits/veggies, grilled meat, protein bars/shakes), and have a full but reasonable third meal and any time I have dessert, I eat only half of whatever they bring me. Drinking will limited to spirits with seltzer. My travelling companion wants to run/walk the track every evening and I will hit the weights on Days 1, 3, and 6. And there's apparently a really cool cliff climb on the excursion we have planned for Day 2.
Stayed on track yesterday on a busy day, heading to two different cities to handle some car stuff (bought one used car and sold another, finally getting the one we've wanted for awhile at a superb deal). Was tempted to stop and pick up take out for dinner, but between runs prepped a quick dinner and stayed 100% on plan.
Down three so adjusting my ticker so I can at least see it at the 166 mark before any upswing. Day 13. Proud of sticking with it - bypassing the donuts today. Credit but I DID savor one 70 cal Samoa cookie. I skipped buying any girl scout cookies again this year but someone bought some and left in the common area. Enjoyed it, counted it, and moving on without the desire for more.
Have really been looking forward to some good weather and time to allow for a bit of yardwork and garden shape-up. The snow/ice caused the patio edging to completely heave up so that will be a bit to square away soon, and rehammer in all of the stakes. Committed to eating sanely this weekend and even if some of it is a meal out, to count it and practice portion control.
Ani - Now you have me wanting to just use my phone for a pedometer. Hm. I don't carry it with me at all, but just hmmm... you might be swaying me. I'm tired of looking at my pedometer and seeing it reset itself. If it should be reading 5765 or something and I see 125 it's like WHAT?? GREAT JOB at the Thai place. That might be a choice for us this weekend as well.
Bill - Kudos to you for venturing into less than desired territory on some of those exercises! I'm hoping to find another $0.99 pineapple at the market this weekend ... wish I could wing one your way I "conned" DH into peeling/coring it as I noted that the knife didn't seem sharp enough (and if there is ONE THING that will get DH into the kitchen, is the opportunity to sharpen a knife). So he zipped right in and whipped out the sharpener and started at it, then I surreptitiously slid a cutting board there for him and end result was he was the sticky one! Success. I owe him one.
Joy - Credit for continued progress - that's all we can hope for is to continue to strive forward! How are the home improvement projects going?
Okay I just had typed a long message including personals to everyone, but when I checked to see if I missed anyone the message disappeared. I don't have time to do it again.
My own story is the doctor said yesterday I am doing "remarkable". I return 5/4 and will probably get orders for PT then. I'm a bit sore probably from some new exercises he gave me. Food is okay, weight still down 3 pounds. I missed my walks the last couple of days due to outings, but I did walk this morning, Credit.
My friends are picking me up to see a movie this morning, Woman in Gold with Helen Mirren. The reviews aren't that great, but the previews looked good. I've had outings each day which has been nice, but I've got a bit of a queasy tummy, so I'm hoping that gets over with soon. Hasn't stopped me from eating.
Okay, better go get ready. I'll try the personals again tomorrow.
Day 2 Op with new portion and sugar control. Used resistance muscle when I finished my spinach salad at lunch and was craving a little sweet. Oh well. I know from experience it will go away. I am perfectly full otherwise.
Did another run to the grocery store today to stock up on veggies. If I am to eat the amount for which I have planned, the refrigerator has to be completely full. Another awareness that I was previously not eating "mostly veggies" like I know I am supposed to eat.
I'm writing my morning report tonight because there won't be time tomorrow before an all-day workshop on travel photography.
Today's eating was an improvement on yesterday and a vast improvement from the day before -- CREDIT!
Tomorrow will be one of the rare days this month that I eat something that didn't come out of my kitchen -- I'll have small servings of what's on offer for lunch. I packed a snack to make sure that I have no reason to raid a vending machine or to stop for a treat on the way home.
WI: NA kg, Exercise: +40 430/1300 minutes for April, Food: 90% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Violette_R: bon voyage! Your plan sounds just right!
nationalparker: the powder room is SO close to completion. The contractor will be back on Monday for finishing touches. I will declare it done when we have our own photography hung on the walls (which was the idea from the beginning) and that will take a bit longer.
karenrn: I've heard some stories / interviews surrounding Women in Gold. Hope you enjoy it!
It is my first time in this website. I just read the Beck book and i am starting to do the tasks and thought that having a support group online would be awesome!! So I searched on the website and I found you guys!!
I realized a while ago how my thinking and thoughs really influence the way i eat and the way i deal with diet.. so i started to search for some help to deal with thoughts toward food and that how i found Beck`s book and I am lovin it.. everything that I read there makes sense...
So just a quick hello to all and i really hope you guys can help in this road and we can share a lot of information!
Diet Coaches/Buddies – We collected a good dose of Day 40 Enrich your life last night when we saw Stravinsky's The Soldier's Tale (link is to a delightful YouTube version). Just superb. I love that piece, but think that's the first time I've seen it performed live. I learned the moral lesson of the old Russian folk tale: don't sell my violin to the devil for a book that'll make me rich. A reception after the performance offered wine, chocolate candy, and dark chocolate covered pastries. I had none, CREDIT moi, to complete a 100% on-plan day.
Did gym with trainer, CREDIT moi. Since it had been only one day since my last gym, I couldn't do upper body weights again. I thought that would get me off. Nope, I was directed to do squats. I HATE squats. (Not as much as I hate the Plank.) My walk squeezed between the continuous light rain.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Congrats for weaning yourself away from the salt in commercial bread - that's a serious source. Jealous of your "workshop on travel photography" - sounds fun.
maryann - Yay for a fridge completely full of veggies.
nationalparker – Weekly Kudos for passing on your FREE Friday donuts. I know about patio blocks being upended by the winter frost heaves - DW suggests that they'll settle themselves. We'll see. [My market's pineapples were $2.50 yesterday - thought of you.]
Karen (karenrn) - I think that I'll see Woman in Gold despite the negative reviews since I've fallen in love with Klimt's Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer and DW is in love with any performance by Helen Mirren. Yay for a healing arm.
Violette_R - Yep, Congrats are due for body changes that show up in the fit of clothes rather than the scale. Kudos for sane planning for your cruise. I share your skepticism about not gaining on a cruise without conscious effort.
isa(isaeu} - What a great start on your Beck journey! Kudos for jumping right in. You're way ahead knowing that you want to address your "thoughts toward food." Glad that you've joined us.
Readers -
Quote:
day 34Solve Problems
Identify the Problem
Tired from a full day of work and from all of her mom responsibilities, Dena would invariably flop on the couch and begin thinking of all of the chores she still had to do. The thought, I'll never get everything done that I need to, led to her feeling anxious. To decrease her anxiety without eating, Dena used the Seven Question Technique as shown on the following page.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 232.
Last edited by BillBlueEyes; 04-12-2015 at 06:31 AM.
Reason: Typo
Pretty good day
I "conned" DH into peeling/coring it as I noted that the knife didn't seem sharp enough (and if there is ONE THING that will get DH into the kitchen, is the opportunity to sharpen a knife). So he zipped right in and whipped out the sharpener and started at it, then I surreptitiously slid a cutting board there for him and end result was he was the sticky one! Success. I owe him one. 
