Beck Diet For Life/Solution January 2015 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach

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  • As Bill says, I am doing!! This is my 1st break since this morning. I have been busy cleaning CLUTTER! And I came online to check something out before it hit the garbage...but now that I am writing I will put in the "give away pile"

    CREDIT drinking water CREDIT NO jelly beans (dh opened container and eating them-ugh)

    I'd like to comment to everyone....I guess I will have to take notes....because I can't remember everything!!

    Sun is shinning here...snow over night...very bright outside...very needed! I love it!

    t/c and kick some butt today!
  • Credit: I'll finish the post and go to the gym. Credit; healthy breakfast early and bit heavier dinner at 2:00PM that should hold me a while. Credit, agree that drinking that extra water really helps in every way. Even in breathing, especially with the winter dry air.

    Day 4 of determination to DIET and EXERCISE and POST.

    Understand difficulty hanging cabinets when walls are not 90 deg. in corner, nor even entirely level. Addition to our home had a horrible carpenter. He certainly didn't know what level, straight or proper corners should be.

    Home will feel extra good for those traveling today!
  • Good Evening, Coaches.

    Finally home after weeks of various family and friends gathering. This last trip to Dillon's Beach did not start well. I would say I had a nervous breakdown at the gas pump trying to meet up with DH to start the journey. It was not really a clinical breakdown because I was aware enough to call my husband to come and pick us up. From the outside, it looked authentic - screaming, crying, kicking a broken pump - all in front of my son. I had let myself go too long on too little peace. I endangered my family. My pride had been crushed. I saw that I WAS like the rest of my family even though I have denied it for years.

    Long story short: DH helped me make a plan - He stayed close to me for the days at the beach and when the compulsive behavior began to emerge, he reminded me to let go of the tiny things that started me to spiral. He used a signal we had agreed upon. We have an appointment with my counselor on Thursday. The trip was joyous for my son and I survived. Tonite I am blue, though, knowing there is much work to be done.

    I have changed my ticker. By January 1st I had officially gained 15 pounds in one year. I rake up some positives here from the ashes of 2014- more for myself than anyone else:

    * I no longer weigh over 200 pounds like I did when I was 18.
    * Unlike my family, I have been sober for 27 years.
    * Unlike my family, I apologized to my son and helped him work through feelings and fears about the truth - that his mom suffers from anxiety and depression.
    * I cut my spending by 20% in 2014 and earned an additional income allowing me to save 3 month emergency fund. I did not achieve the goal of 35% which to me now seems too bold.
    * I was as kind, brave and humble as I could be.
    * I prayed that god would teach me how to forgive myself and others nearly everyday.
    * I practiced gratitude for DH and DS who are greater gifts that I could ever deserve.

    For you newcomers asking yourself "Does she realize she is posting on a weightloss thread?" I can only offer you my truth. Compulsive overeating was and is the first, strongest, and least socially acceptable symptom of a deeper problem - a hardwired belief that no matter what I accomplish, what I look like, or who I call friends, I will never be enough. Until I care about myself enough to practice the Beck skills I will remain in the addiction of food.

    More through the week. Glad you are all here.

    mary ann
  • Monday - National Bird Day
    Diet Coaches/Buddies Shoveled an inch of slush in the morning, CREDIT moi, to welcome my first use of snow shovels for the season. It wasn't that much exercise, but I did get to laugh with neighbors - we barely speak through the year but are all buddies when out shoveling.

    Food was good enough. The weekly noon time fellowship hour had some fresh baked goodies that caught my eye. I plan to have one as my morning snack. I've got some clever sabotaging thoughts that try to combine two items into the count of one by some logic that doesn't translate. Need work here.

    Joy (gardenerjoy) Yay for starting the month on track for your exercise goal.

    Debbie (Lexxiss) Yay for "rest" - I do like being reminded that we can long for things that aren't food.

    silverbirch Congrats on those seven pounds gone. My take is that you deserve credit even if they were flu-assisted.

    maryann - Sending supportive thoughts for the difficult start to Dillon Beach - along with Kudos for a calming, rational recovery. And Super Kudos for being able to see your great positives of 2014.

    nationalparker Hope you made it home. Ouch for the attack of the biscuit. Your journey reminds me that being a 'Road Warrior' can sometimes be more difficult than a long line at the airport.

    love2garden - Thanks for the reminder that more water is needed in winter to combat the dry air. Ouch for a carpenter who does new work that isn't level.

    cathydoe - Ouch for jelly beans. They're one of my trigger foods. DW used to leave a bowl in the living room so she could eat one or two a day. Don't know why she didn't figure out why they disappeared so fast, LOL.

    Readers -
    day 30 Stay in Control When Eating Out

    Plan to Eat Out
    Here's what you should do to get ready: . . .
    • If you did well but feel disgruntled because you couldn't eat everything you wanted, work on your sabotaging thoughts. Give yourself great credit for following through with your food plan and work on acceptance: Oh, well, I couldn't eat the way I used to eat. But I do really want to lose weight so it's good that I limited myself.
    Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 215.
  • Good morning coaches,

    I have been reading posts most days, but with 8 family members here visiting I didn't take time to write. We had a very successful visit even with 8 people staying with us. Two young couples had to camp on blow up beds; one set up in the office and one in the living room. Everyone pitched in to help keep the mess under control and we had a good time. It was very cold for Scottsdale, but a couple of us got out to do 4ish mile hikes a twice, which was great.

    My goal was to be a gracious hostess and to have our guests leave feeling like they had a wonderful time. I'd give myself a 90%. I'm very glad to be back to the two of us now, with most of the junk out of the house. I did gain 2 pounds, but I'm fairly certain some of it is from sodium, so I will be very careful. I do have a cold, so I'm going to lay low today and hope to get rid of it quickly. It's hard for me to hike when I don't feel good.

    One of my niece's is getting married next September so I tried to initiate a weight loss challenge. Her parents are both quite heavy, especially her Dad who is my husband's younger brother. Her Mom is fit healthy, but Dad is not. I'm hoping we can all use it as an additional motivator to get some weight off. More important to me is to get the weight off for backpacking, but looking better in family photos is good too.

    I feel like the start to the New Year has been so busy I haven't spent enough time on reflecting and planning. Hope to do some of that today. I need to formulate some realistic goals. Also, need to get the Beck book out again and refocus on that.

    Welcome to new folks, I consider myself new also. I may post again later with some personals. We have to return the rental van now, so I best get going.

  • clear skies. sunny. appreciated.

    to us all.

    I truly begin today after having spent a few days in quiet contemplation of where I would like to focus my attention this year. Being a self-employed artist I have to be self-directed and basically I do a lot of work before I ever even know if it will pay off.

    I'm ok with that.

    So after reviewing the past year some things are changing/evolving/getting refined...

    BY THE END of 2015 I envision saying "The Diabetes Society came and took all my old clothes away today." To say this, they have to be too big for me (not the other direction! LOL!)

    How to get there? FOOD PLAN: South Beach food plan, phase 2 to begin. OPTION: phase 1 if I hit a plateau, if I am frustrated, if I need to change it up. This is a sound food plan, and there is support here for it as well.

    EXERCISE: swimming, water aerobics, yoga, at home exercise workouts, bike riding, mini trampoline jumping -- these are all available to me to choose from, but choose, most days, choose I must. Looking at adopting a strategy similar to gardenerjoy's minutes/month. I do well with deadlines and achieving them.

    WORK: focus focus focus and stay focused! Printmaking. large scale= #1 goal so by the end of 2015 I can say "I have a solid body of work and this year, 2016, I am focused on applying for gallery shows of my work." You know Becksters, when you work for yourself YOU are your product as much as your work is your product. being overweight/obese hasn't stopped me from pursuing my goals. I made that decision long ago, but it does prevent me at times from getting myself out there from being more assertive, from shying away from publicity or photos, from feeling less-than others. It's become worse now that I have Age to contend with. Enough age that I feel it on a regular basis. Age won't become a plus now until I become a Wonder when people say "Imagine at her age! She still has so much energy! She looks so good!" Yeah. I want that to be me.

    I want this year's year of work to be F_U_N. yes, fun. I have had a severe lack of the stuff for a few years and it is not good. So I plan to have an on-site make your own t-shirt using woodblocks I have carved for the purpose to make people make their own shirt when I set up at the farmers' market or at an outdoor festival. (I have decided to apply to art in the park and folk festivals out of town this year as well. Recording/hunting down the application deadlines began last night. Credit.) Much to do to get to this goal but I came across a website for someone who is/has been doing this for years and I thought WOW that looks like fun and covers a lot of territory for me. SO some fun prints, some serious work for galleries and I will continue to paint and to support this I am joining the (rumoured to be difficult) local painting group who hold professional level shows and sales of their work. Shows and sales of my work would be a good thing.

    What's changing is my ceramics. It's dropping into "hobby" category. Will still go there, still participate, but no longer will I think it is my road to financial anything. Can't do everything.

    Also new: writing. I'm part of fledgling writing group. I'm writing some good stuff. I've already submitted work somewhere this year and that is the goal with that: make work, find somewhere to submit it. A grand experiment. My sister and I (she is a writer) have a weekly goal and we meet to show and tell in terms of writing. We share the submission goals. One year of her tutledge will improve my writing abilities tenfold. I welcome the addition of this into my life.

    My ukulele! New into my life, I need to set 30-60 min a day aside for practice. I just found the ukulele music to the Gilligan's Island theme! I have AC/DC and Johnny Cash for the ukulele. This little instrument helps in the "having fun" category. And dare I say it? I will! "By the end of 2015 I will find somewhere to jam with other musicians with my ukulele." yikes. That one's a bit scary! But super-doable as there is an established ukulele group meeting at the music store my uke came from. I need only show up there. But not yet.

    OK. Thanks for allowing me the space to submit these goals and intentions for my 2015. I'll always be able to refer to this message when I go off track, which I will do. The important thing is to get back on track. That's how you achieve things. Persistence and patience and focus. No big secret. No big drama. Day after day of work. Yay! very doable, especially with such a great supportive bunch like you guys. Thanks for being here oldies and newbies!

    Have a great day.
  • Bouncing off the thoughts of maryann this morning.

    I also gained weight in 2014. I haven't been brave enough to compute the number. Okay. The bravery of maryann inspires me. I'm going to check, because, really, it's better to know. My lowest weight in 2014 was on January 3 -- I hadn't realized that I went up all year! I gained 28 pounds in 2014. Yikes!

    This reminds me of the year from August 2008 to August 2009 when I gained 40 pounds. So 2014 wasn't my worst year ever, but pretty bad. That 2008-2009 weight gain motivated this journey with Beck and 3FC and you all. I learned from that gain that I couldn't change my addictive behaviors and lose the weight without a lot of support.

    What the 2014 gain is telling me is that I can't maintain without continued support and even more structure. I had rather hoped that if I ever got things under enough control to lose the weight, that I wouldn't want to go back to the old ways. But, apparently, that allure of addiction isn't going away.

    At the beginning of 2015, I'm accepting that the structures I set in place to get back to my goal weight are structures that I will use for the rest of my life. The benefits of the lower weight are worth it. But, more than that, the benefits of being in control of my addictive behaviors are worth it. The last few months of 2014 I experienced depression. It's a vicious cycle. If I want to feel good, I have to do the things that work to keep my diet in control.

    Here is what is improving my mood, right now:

    Working the Success Skills Sheets. I'm amazed how quickly I felt better when I started doing the things that I know I need to do.

    Working with a book called A Blueprint for Your Castle in the Clouds by Barbara Sophia Tammes. The subtitle is "make the inside of your head your favorite place to be." Not everything in the book is helpful, but the metaphor and the goal of the subtitle are working really well for me.

    Today, I'm hoping for further improvement. The other thing that happened in 2014 was a big stall-out on what I consider my most important project. Today, I'm going to start working on it again after months of absence. I suspect that, like with the Success Skills Sheet, I'm going to feel a lot better by making even small progress.

    CREDIT for taking those three deep breaths before I started eating breakfast and lunch! I've been working on that skill for months, off and on, and yesterday was the first time that I remembered. I still have work to do because I forgot at the other eating occasions, but I'm thrilled to have finally done it twice! I'll get there.

    WI: +0.1 kg , Exercise: +40 160/1200 minutes for January, Food: 80% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
  • Mary Ann? Have we been friends forever? What you said:

    For you newcomers asking yourself "Does she realize she is posting on a weightloss thread?" I can only offer you my truth. Compulsive overeating was and is the first, strongest, and least socially acceptable symptom of a deeper problem - a hardwired belief that no matter what I accomplish, what I look like, or who I call friends, I will never be enough. Until I care about myself enough to practice the Beck skills I will remain in the addiction of food.

    That is the truth for me too. I fight the demon of "not good enough" in all aspects of my life. I will conquer that demon and learn to care enough about myself to live healthy. I am not a bad person because I chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle, as I did it to protect myself. For today I choose healthy.

    Thank you everyone for being here. God Bless each and every one of you!
  • This morning, still tender. Slept late. I wrote down my goals for 2015:
    2015 Goals

    Weigh under 154
    Have Six months in Emergency Fund
    Schedule no more than 1 weekend a month away from home (Average)
    Piano Lessons
    Work on not having meltdowns in front of DS.

    I have kept it simple. I start piano today with the focus on accompanying myself when I sing or a choir when I conduct. This follows Beck's principle of "don't put life on hold while you lose the weight."

    I have the rest of the week to gather stuff and begin Beck's green book. That follows Beck's rules of making time for weight loss.

    I am using up what I have this month (pantry challenge) which will help towards emergency fund.

    While helping DS with his report I had another mini meltdown. I pulled it together and apologized. I told him I was going to work on it this year. He suggested a sticker chart like he has for piano practices. I really like that he has such a positive approach.

    gardenerjoy and cathydoe: Your responses were so helpful to me. I am reaffirmed in the belief that I can build a better life for myself by structuring my food life on the skills in Beck and by continuing to tell the truth. I have set a goal for this month of working through the green book. I am just going to WRITE IN IT.The acting of writing in a book has always denoted "SUPER SEROUS." I did it with the pink book and found much peace.

    love2garden: If you have a icloud account and password, you can set your phone to "lost found" by going to If you are not apple, you can download an app named Find My Phone.

    onebyone: Your goals are so interesting. Very life affirming.

    KarenRN: Yes I think reflection is so important.

    BBE: To cheer myself up I said, "Hey, I weigh BBE's Goal! At Least somebody would like to weight it." I hope you don't mind.
  • Hi Beck friends,

    Tiptoeing back in if you will have me. I had a really out of control December and ate myself almost back to 300. Does it ever make me sad to tell you that. So despite many, many days of eating healthy last year, there were also many days of compulsive overeating. I wish this was not my truth but it is.

    I did a lot of thinking tonight about the feeling of never being good enough that some you are describing. Thank you for being so open and for the reminder that in the end I need to battle my underlying passive acceptance/belief that it is OK/inevitable if I am not trying because this is all I will ever be- a person unable to overcome the eating and destined to be like this forever. I need to focus on the fact that we all can change- even me.

    I decided I really need to shake things up and I need an eating plan that does not require counting anything so for the first time I am doing Southbeach phase one. I have everything planned out and was going to start today but ended up starting yesterday. So I have 2 successful days under my belt and 3 days with no sugar. It might not sound like much but the way things were going this feels really major.

    I am so inspired by your posts- when I don't post I am here often, reading everything you write. I am committed to checking in but am taking off all pressure to do it daily. I think a couple of times per week for me is much more realistic and doable so that's what I will try.

  • Hi All,
    Happy New Year! I got the gumption to get on the scale, and I was up 2 pounds from the month before, but overall I am 4 pounds down from when I started tracking calories again in August, so I will give myself credit for that. December seemed an obstacle course of food events and I am glad that today's calories were under my goal - credit.

    A friend posted on FB that her 2014 goal was to walk one mile a day outside. She only missed 1 day while traveling in Haiti, and 3 days or the flu. My DH and I were inspired, and we plan to make this our goal for 2015. Some days will need to be indoors because we live in a less mild climate than our friend. I like the idea of consistent manageable exercise.

    Welcome to the new folks!
  • Tuesday
    Diet Coaches/Buddies Did OK on snacks, CREDIT moi, on a long cold day.

    Exercise was watching the movie The Imitation Game about Alan Turing - a remarkable movie about a remarkable man. I was profoundly moved by the statement by a senior British Intelligence officer, "We're not winning this war" that reminded me how badly things were going in Europe for a while. Turing and his 'Turing Machines' have been lifetime idols for a guy working with computers.

    onebyone Thanks for sharing your visions for 2015 - so neat to actually put them in writing. Your wood block T-shirt event does sound fun - I'd like to do that.

    Joy (gardenerjoy) It's good to be reminded that working the Success Skills improves our mood to start a chain reaction.

    CeeJay - Kudos for jumping back on your horse by choosing Southbeach as your new diet plan. I share your admiration for the honesty being posted here.

    maryann - Kudos for charging forth with piano lessons per "don't put life on hold while you lose the weight."

    Karen (karenrn) - Congrats for surviving with eight house guests - with Kudos for getting out for a couple of hikes to maintain you body and your sanity.

    Margaret (Nuxmaga) - Congrats for those four pounds down since August. Such a good idea to have a walking goal for the year.

    cathydoe - "For today I choose healthy" rings true to me today.

    Readers -
    day 30 Stay in Control When Eating Out

    Plan to Eat Out

    The more you practice eating out, the easier it'll be. If not this time, eventually you'll leave a restaurant or event and say to yourself, I'm so glad I didn't overeat. When I told this to dieters I've worked with, most didn't believe me at first, saying "I can't imagine that happening. I think I'll always feel deprived." But they do get to this point. They feel good for remaining in control.

    Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 215.
  • hi coaches!
    wow, a lot of great posts! Very motivating, I need to set some 2015 goals in writing too.
    I didn't gain a lot this year, but I didn't lose any either, that lasted. Oh well. Onwards!
    I think I may join others that are mentioning South Beach, it has worked for me in the past, a modified version this time, or start in phase 2.
    Cathydoe-sometimes I do take notes if there is a lot to read! It does make it easier to comment for me personally. I usually pick a few things that resonate, I don't always get to everyone and I don't post everyday, but I strive to post often!
    Maryann- great post! Brave of you and helps me feel better knowing others are dealing with mind stuff. Interesting how many 3FCers seem to have depression and/or anxiety. Is that not such a problem for naturally thin folks I wonder?
    Onebyone-great goals! Good to include fun. I also feel I forget that sometimes and am always working/volunteering/struggling. Fun is a biggie.
    Gardenerjoy-I had rather hoped that if I ever got things under enough control to lose the weight, that I wouldn't want to go back to the old ways. But, apparently, that allure of addiction isn't going away.
    yes! well said1
    BBE-I saw that movie too and enjoyed it! I was lucky enough to see Derek Jacobi in the play Breaking the Code about Alan turing- about 25 years ago in London, it was great. Glad they have made a movie about it.

    Wave to all!
  • Quick check-in today. Still making progress on taking 3 deep breaths before I eat -- CREDIT for the attempt and the partial success. When I remember, it does have a good effect of a tiny calm spot in my day.

    WI: +0.35 kg , Exercise: +40 200/1200 minutes for January, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

    CeeJay: lovely to have you among those of us who are making a new start in the New Year.

    BillBlueEyes: All our family Christmas celebrations happened at times other than Christmas. We were secretly pleased because that meant that we could see The Imitation Game on Christmas Day! Our visit to Bletchley Park was one of our best days of our England trip. I posted photos last week:

    Cathydoe: I usually write my post for 3FC in Notepad. It has a couple of advantages. I can do it alongside while I'm reading other people's posts. And, the forum software occasionally loses a post, so I always have a backup to try again.
  • I'm just posting my reality here before reviewing the posts over my lunch hour. Weight gain - substantial this past month. Now have changed my ticker up FIVE pounds to 168. I'm at 167.6 but know in a dr. office, they'd round up. I feel like such a failure. How many dang new years do I have to go through, saying I don't want to still face the same issues, and make choices that don't support what I say I want?!

    Doubtful DH is on board with me for cleaner, lighter eating, too - he's still in the throes of the post-holiday goodies, with extra treats around. I'm not the food cop, so won't be removing his stuff. (If I said I went ahead and did that tomorrow, give me slack )

    I think I have coasted without setting short term goals and while I don't want to feel a sense of failure if I don't meet them, I do want to feel like i'm aiming for something concrete. For this weekend's weigh in, goal is to be just down one pound - under 167. I think this year, instead of me saying I'm x above ticker, I'm just changing my ticker on my weigh in day because otherwise, in a way, I'm not "accepting" that gain. I always change it for a loss, so ... need to suck it up and let it fluctuate a bit.

    Yesterday credits included stopping to get salad and thin crust (non greasy and good!) cheese pizza to take to inlaws for lunch. We ate some pizza and saved the salads for dinner, so stretched that meal into two. Unfortunately added too many extra snacks - a biscotti end here, a slice of pannettone after dinner there, oh yeah, a maple cream santa. SO clearly logging in at MFP again will be a challenge to myself each day. Starting today.

    Snowy day today and then the frigid temps roll in. Not sure if DH and I will get out for a hike this evening as the wind chills are solidly below zero. He returns to work tomorrow, so is trying to get his snow tires on his car today. At least I didn't wreck in my new car with the slippery roads (I am THE driver who stays in the slow lane on the two-lane residential roads, going 20 while everyone else flies around me at 28 and slipping and sliding. Yes. I own it.) Now to clean out the 12 year old one and get that ready to sell... hoping to have this one for a long time, but thinking that I'll have it until 2027 sounds soooo long! haha

    Looking forward to reading all the posts and meeting new folks and seeing what's happening with the friends I've already made.