I'm checking in too late for me to write much this evening, so might be a couple of posts one after the other with a morning check in. Not the best way perhaps, but might keep me a bit more on track.
Dinner plans evolved to my choice and I suggested a My Thai month (not mai tai) of Fridays where we try a diff Thai restaurant around here. DH was all for that and so we ventured south to one I'd passed a few months ago. Apparently more popular at lunch than dinner as there was one couple in there and as it's not in the BEST area, we decided to return when it was daylight and more popular. So ... he suggested back to the one last weekend and again, great food and service. I ate less than half of my serving, which was easily two-plus servings. He will eat the leftover. He's buttoning shirts that last year were worn over tshirts as overshirts. I mean to say he's losing noticeable weight and is feeling much better bc of it. Credits to him ... I ate more quantity today than I probably needed.
Quick note to Maryann - WONDERFUL news on the poss World Series game - that's a memory forever.
Tossing around the idea of a trip to Ikea tomorrow - it's a solid two hours from us and while I want to go, I don't want to use the weekend time to go. Not sure how I'll end up getting there since I don't teletransport, but we'll see.
My breakfasts have been spot on nutrition and calories. Lunches have been 80% on and continue to work on dinners. At least I'm seeing progress.
Coaches this will be a short check in: I was on plan today. DH finally signed the taxes. I paid accountant. I have appointment with accountant on Monday to discuss fine points. I worked all day at pottery studio. Now feel "off" so time for bed. Until tomorrow.
A good food day as I have been very strict with myself. Went shopping at the farmer's market without a shopping list so not the most organised but nothing I wouldn't eat - just not much of what I needed. But I wanted an outing and it provided that. I have resisted working too much except for the odd email.
I am still really perplexed by breakfast given not only can't I have tomatoes, eggplants, chillies, potatoes etc; dairy; eggs; nuts; seeds (hadn't realised most spices are seeds); I also can't (am not to) eat grains (like porridge/muesli) or legumes (that is the base on which the autoimmune protocol is built). So that leaves left-over dinner for breakfast basically - or hamburger patties with veggies. Oh well - it might work. But I am eating food (eggs etc) to get rid of it - a bit conflicted by that but not throwing it out. Not sure I can sustain low carb though as I will need to eat some sweet potato and fruit I think.
Enough of that - my father's house went to auction today and didn't hit the (quite low) reserve so that is a bit sad. Not sure where to next but hopefully it will sell for a reasonable price. If it doesn't sell we can't deal with it being on the market for years and having to manage tenants - my sister is travelling next year and it is a long way from me. And we both sort of need the money to move on. It will be interesting to see how it resolves
BillBE - glad your 'good' weather is holding on. Home made cookies are at least worth it sort of - not the most meaningless transgression
Maryann - take what you like and leave the rest is a good way to deal with Beck - or it would have driven me nuts. Congrats on 86 days of logging in MFP
Silverbirch - looks like you had a productive day even though it started out not so well. You do well on automatic with meal planning
Nationalparker - it is always a days outing to go to Ikea no matter how far away it is!
Today:
- 189.2 pounds [+2.2 same]
- Logged my food - yes
- Under 40g CHO net - 10g
- Under 1300 - YES
- walked a lot - 2 dog walks, around the markets, cleaning etc.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked, CREDIT moi, to the subway to hear Verdi's La Traviata. Hoped right up to the closing moment that Violetta might come out OK this time. Nope, as usual, she dies of TB in the arms of the man she loves who's begging for her forgiveness. If you've got three minutes, you can hear Maria Callas as the most desirable courtesan in Paris respond to the protestations of love by a young man.
Eating was OK in parts, minor CREDIT moi. There was no evening snack since we were out and about.
onebyone – Major Kudos for staying your course on taxes. What a victory!
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Wish I could easily make this feeling go away, "there will never be enough time."
silverbirch – One of life's most dread nightmares, "a government form which had been returned to me" - Kudos for surviving.
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Goodness, that's quite a list of good foods on a not-to-have list. Kudos for working on what's possible for you.
maryann - 86 Kudos for "logged my food into MFP for 86 days" - just keeping going is such a major part of the journey. Thanks for the reminder, "I took what I needed and I left the rest."
nationalparker – Neat idea this "My Thai month" - we get stuck on a favorite and fail to explore further. Kudos for "At least I'm seeing progress."
curlypudge - Six hours is a long drive - may you find good listening to keep you awake and your mind away from food.
DashMB77 - Glad that google led you here. I, too, savor the support of this group.
Readers -
Quote:
Day 24Deal with Discouragement
Focus on what you can do today. Thinking too far into the future is incredibly unhelpful. Every time you find yourself thinking, I can't keep this up for a month, a year, or longer, tell yourself, Forget the long term ... Focus on today ... I know I can continue to do what I need to do today ... If it's hard tomorrow, I'll deal with it then. Make a Response Card to remind yourself of all this.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 190.
MIA, but I have been reading posts and thinking of you all. I need a major reboot and I have had time to think on it this morning. It's not that I'm lacking desire; this past week has turned so absolutely crazy and unpredictable that my maintenance skills are no longer enough to keep me grounded in my plan.
This week I worked my restaurant days, then did the big drive on Wednesday...down to Denver to p/u sis then all the way over to meet up with DH and integrate his new life with my moms needs and my sisters treatments. Stuff was just too busy, (which I can handle), but too spontaneous, which I didn't do so well with. On Wednesday I was at the top range of my maintenance weight now I'm certain I am over. After getting through several extremely busy days, yesterday's afternoon event was my mom falling at the car outside the pool which necessitated in a visit to the ER. She is ok but really has a knot on her forehead...and most likely two black eyes to come. My sis was devastated but it wasn't anybody's fault and these events will probably happen again so we just need to be as cautious as we can be and stay emotionally prepared.
My program teaches me to reach back to my Beckbook, which I did this morning. I need to be better prepared for this same schedule the 1st week of Nov. I've already discussed with DH. The complication with "our" food plan right now is that he needs to be actively gaining and I need to be actively losing. I am going to take one week at a time and my plan for this week is my own planned breakfast(smoothie) and lunch and a healthy packaged meal for dinner with a piece of fruit for evening snack. That way I can prepare a bulk up dinner for DH and just open and heat for myself. I need a break from food.
Anyway, credit for having the Beck-inspired willingness to jump right in to this.
Take care everyone! I'm grateful for each and everyone of you. I need to head over and check on my mom then get ready for travel.
I didn't make time yesterday for the green book, so I'm making time right now!
Task 5. Get Organized. That's mostly about getting rid of triggering food in the house, which is done.
Task 6. Make a memory box. I never did much with this before, but I'll try it now. I think part of the problem is that "Memory Box" makes me think of something else, a scrapbook or something. What she wants here is a record of when things go well and feel good, because dieting is filled with those moments, but our human brains have a tendency to focus on the negative and forget the positive. So, I think I'll label a divider in my 3x5 file box "Positive Moments." I think that will help me remember to write the cards.
Task 7. Fill your distractions box. This, like the "Make Time" task, is another thing I have trouble with. I have a hard time giving myself permission to do many of the things on her list if there's work to be done. For some reason, the only distraction that I allow myself from work is eating. So, in my mind, taking breaks is all tied up with food. And taking breaks to do most of the things on her list is wasting time.
She does have the idea to list "chores you never seem to get to" but I know what that will turn in to -- a To Do list that I never look at because it's filled with depressing things that never get done.
So, if I fill this section of my file box with fun things, I'll never do them because I don't have time. And if I fill it with things that I should do, I'll never look at it because it will be too accusing. There's the black and white of it -- time to look for some grays!
Okay, the first several things on her Suggested Distractions List are related to finding ways to re-focus on weight loss, including reading weight loss books and checking on-line support group postings. So, I made a list of that sort of thing.
A few suggested items are quick things like deep breathing or drink something. So, I made a list of distractions that take less than 5 minutes. I can use this list when I take my break between pomodoros.
Of course, I've not been entirely unsuccessful in distracting myself from food in the past. So, I made a list of what has worked for me during stressful times.
Logged my food and went to step class yesterday. I just planned my food for today because I wanted to tell you that I did.
Rare day and night all to myself. What to do, what to do? Beautiful fall day. Should I fix my bike and head out into the fields? We have a lovely bike path out to the mountains? My goal is to enjoy the time, not try to fill it.
Silverbirch: I wonder also why taking such simple steps to lose weight seems so impossible. Why does balance seem illusive? For me, the answer revolves around some primary (and by that I mean infantile) need for immediate comfort. I know it is cliche, but a little girl inside of me needs food satisfaction "right now" in response to what I believe is abandonment triggers. Not to blame all my problems on how I was raised, but drunk or emotionally chaotic caregivers abandon a child emotionally if not physically; there is no doubt on that. I act with food to comfort myself to make up for when I couldn't comfort myself as a child. What I am not sure about is why it has to be food? I comfort myself with good books, music, nice clothing but there is something about food. It feels irreplaceable.
nationalparker: It is so interesting about favorite foods. I can't warm up to Thai and yet sushi seems like such a luxury I could enjoy every day.
Gosford: Those food restrictions seem daunting. There must be some group/blog on the internet that shares menus with each other. It is too discouraging to have to reinvent the wheel.
BBE: I know I am supposed to love opera. I am a music major. I studied Carmen for a whole semester. It is like Faulkner, James and Shoenberg. I can appreciate all but I don't feel any of it emotionally. (Although I have had a blast dancing to a few Carmen tunes with a bunch of other music students when we stole the keys to the lecture hall and played the music on the overhead speakers the midnight before the final exam.
gardenerjoy: I like the idea of writing down when things go well.
I've just read through all of your posts for the week. I had a wonderful time in NYC and I came back without a weight gain in spite of some good food. I wore my Garmin Vivo and we walked our socks off. Monday, 20,230 steps, Tuesday 29,543 steps, Wednesday 16,197 steps, Thursday 20,848 steps and Friday 25,147 steps. We saw Beautiful, Motown and Jersey Boys, the Metropolitan Art Museum, 9/11 area and Memorial Museum, Theodore Roosevelt's boyhood home, Eataly, Chelsea Market, the Highline trail and so much more. We were very lucky with good weather except Thursday morning. That day we walked in the rain to the Metropolitan Art Museum. I learned my rain coat, which I have not needed in years, is no longer waterproof. It was like wearing a wet towel by the time we got to the museum. Luckily the sun was out by the time we got out of the museum and we were dry.
So now it's back to the real world, review of the Beck book and working the program, planning what to eat for the week and getting to the store. I must say I'm a bit tired today and will take the weekend off from hiking.
I logged my food into MFP for the first 3 or 4 days and then fell off that wagon. I was using my phone and while not difficult, just didn't do it. I need to change my calories in MFP. I use 1200 as a base and then add in my exercise and eat some (probably most) of those calories. I find that on the days I don't exercise I almost alway go over 1200 calories. I think maybe I need to raise it to 1400 and then make sure I only eat half of my exercise calories or thereabouts.
Well, that's it for now, I need to get up and get going. More including personals, in the next day or two.
Hello! Busy morning here - got up and got right to cleaning. Indulged with two cinnamon rolls from that Pillsbury roll of five that reminds me of a childhood winter morning. My mom would buy that maybe once a year. Not the most high-quality treat at 280 calories, but I certainly worked some of it off with the hours of work after that. Nothing is going right - all sorts of snafus - dropped kitty litter, vac canister dropped, trim popped off door, spilled balsamic vinegar reduction ... I can't remember it all. Finally I just took a shower and figured that's it for today. Ikea trip canned for this weekend. We'll head to the market, then dinner will be at Panera at DH's suggestion and then catch Gone Girl. I'm nervous to see a scary movie/graphic scenes. I do much better at suspense.
Lunch was a slice of the leftover rubbery quiche, which, sadly, I still enjoyed. Rubbery or not, I liked it. Want to do a little looking around for the right temp when using eggbeaters I think that's the key.
I am wanting something else to eat this afternoon - not sure what's triggering that desire. DH returns to work tomorrow night, so we have a full weekend day to enjoy.
Off to smooch some kitties trying to sleep undisturbed. Ha. I shall emerge with furry lips and a full heart. And an annoyed pair of kitties, I'm certain.
Still here. I read the intro to the pink book last night and edited out a few sentences which I thought were rather stretching a point. That made me feel better. Credit for working with the text!
I've had almost a whole day at work away from the bosom of the (ill) family and feel very much better for it. I eat much better when I'm away from domestic duties. Credit for getting away!
I've also felt the calm of the group when I've been thinking about eating. Thank you, coaches, for beaming that into my life in such a short time. Credit for encouraging myself to join you!
When I got in from work I cut a slice of bread and peanut butter. I tend only to eat bread when it's just been made and the SO had made three loaves. Then I thought, that is not on your plan - but I rejected that objection as I haven't even made a plan yet! As some kind of sop, though, I made sure I sat down to eat it. Credit of some kind here, I think!
The SO made a nice tea (roast chicken, potato, sweet potato, carrots, watercress) and that was quite sufficient for me. I don't need to eat anything else before I go to bed. Credit for planning ahead like this!
Just a quick note to Lexxiss. I am sorry that your mother fell and banged her head and I wish her a speedy recovery. Mine (89) fell out of bed recently and hurt her side. It took several weeks, strong painkillers (obviously she never usually takes them as she is from the Iron Generation who feel no pain) and walking with a stick to get back to normal. Even so, I think the effect is lingering somehow but it could just be that her brothers are running her more ragged than usual.
Oh boy. Note to self: when a meal is over, put the leftovers away. I just sliced a bit more off the thing we had for dinner, like just now, knowing there is no night-time after dinner snacking of bits of stuff on my foodplan. Well, technically, I have not defined my plan on paper/written it down so it gets loosey-goosey a few times a week so I think that is something I need to look at and make some decisions around. *credit* for not freaking out that it is "all over I may as well quit."
Food today was good besides this little encounter. *credit*
Tomorrow I am going to a "poetry sanctuary". I'm a little worried about it tonight, but mostly I am excited and happy to go. This will be the first time since 1st year university that I have focused on poetry exclusively. I would like to read my work in public. I have a ways to go to feel comfortable doing that if my experience at the writing course is any indication. My voice completely cracked and I got choked up this past week. It was tough to get through my piece of writing. Did I already mention that? It caught me completely by surprise.
Lunch will be provided tomorrow but I'm not too worried about it. No sugar and no seconds and being with strangers will keep me on my best behaviour.
The drive home may be tougher, as well as the evening at home afterwards so I'd better make sure to check in here and to stay vigilant. Persist in Victory as I say, even though this is counting my chickens before they hatch...
Going to bed now. Thanks for reading.
Lexxiss A rare wobble for you in your plan. Must have been extraordinary circumstances for sure. So sad to hear your mom had a fall but I am glad she seems to be alright. There's a lot going on for you over there. Take good care!
silverbirch I am enjoying your presence here and I took great glee in reading you were editing the text of Dr. Beck. Jolly good.
gardenerjoy We may need to coach each other to "just write" so we do, indeed, write. I had a really hard time with the exact tasks you mention and didn't manage the memory box, but I did actually create the index card file, which I like. I think I wrote my distractions out as well but I haven't revisited any of these Beck tools lately. Thanks for nudging me to re-tool as required.
Billblueeyes While DH did finally sign the taxes, he did spend the evening mentioning, casually, several times, to me that when he goes to jail he will say "I told you so." I asked him if he had a hidden bank account, secret family he's funneling money too...he says no. Mr. Drama has not mentioned any of this today and, dare I say, his mood seems lighter. We have weathered this particular storm. Phew.
Last edited by onebyone; 10-18-2014 at 10:29 PM.
Reason: incorrect spelling of the English language
Wanted to get to a few personals and will finish in the a.m.
Lexxiss - SO sorry to hear about your mom's fall. Mine fell backwards getting into the car with my dad there and a trip to the ER followed, and pain lingered for quite a long time, despite painkillers. Here's hoping that your mom rebounds well.
Welcome back, Karen! Good to hear that your trip was great and you did get to the three Broadway shows! I LOVE how trips typically balance out the food with the high activity. Sure beats coming home with trip weight.
Bill - I like the excerpt for today that you have listed ... focus on today. I keep focusing on this and that and could work harder at focusing on not looking to food to keep me company today.
Maryann - I checked out the kindle version of a book by Geneen Roth, When Food Is Love. Now I remember that I read it already after reading a few of the early chapters. Are you familiar with it/her? She talks of seeking food as love/comfort as the daughter of alcholic parents who couldn't give her steady love or steady anything for that matter. Funny that I never thought of Thai food as a fave bc I only think of it as a spot DH loves ... but guess that i like the heat of it but I'm NOT an adventurous eater there. I like what I like and I like it hot. But Italian and Mexican are premier faves ... and sushi ACK NO Not that brave. For having lived nearly my whole life near an ocean except while here, I eat nothing from the sea. Well, except salt water taffy. HA. Silverbirch - Okay, I'm going to start right out and ask something instead of googling it. (Apologies if it's inane.) Does tea on a weekend take place of dinner or lunch or in between? It sounds SUPERB.
OneByOne - Put your money and cards in the trunk on the way home - so stopping for anything quick will be anything but (foodwise). Good luck and have a wonderful time!
I enjoy a blog that this week featured a carmelized sweet potato, kale and fried wild rice mixture with dijon, maple syrup and garlic, etc. I'm not on the kale bandwagon and honestly, am weary of it bc it's overdone on a few sites I enjoy, but this one looks tasty and we'll give it a try after our trip coming up this week.
Evening has been spent in front of the blazing fire, finishing a book. Vowed to not spend too long on here while DH is reading as well
Last edited by nationalparker; 10-18-2014 at 10:46 PM.
Well my weight is up even more - baffling. But I haven't changed my plan yet. There are indeed many plans out there for Paleo with Autoimmune Protocol. There are plenty of things to eat one you get past what you are used to, and breakfast looks like it will be a green smoothy with kale and avocado and berries and no protein powder which is off the menu! Or meat patties with some sort of left over vegetable - all OK as long as I am organised enough not to have to cook it in the morning. I am about to make a batch of them now. So I am getting organised and I have some plans to work from. Didn't get on top of it today - I seem to be surrounded by half finished projects and chores and it is getting to the time where I want to get dinner, settle, and have a peaceful and restorative Sunday night.
Oops - just realised that I am supposed to be having a heavy carbohydrate intake before a glucose tolerance test on Tuesday so I had better go and peel some more sweet potato. That is the only source I really have here.
Have read all your posts and wish you all well for the rest of your weekend
Today:
- 189.8 pounds [+2.8]
- Logged my food
- Under 40g CHO net - 20g - now more hopefully
- Under 1400 - YES
- no exercise today - not even walking as the dogs entertained themselves with the pack at the park.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked, CREDIT moi, to a high perch where we could see the changing tree colors for miles around. 'Twas most unusual to see that much color while wearing a short-sleeved knit shirt. A Red-tailed Hawk spent 15 minutes in close proximity just doing its thing. Eastern Phoebe's were abundant as if they knew it was unusual bug catching weather.
Eating was only OK, again. Again, minor CREDIT moi for some restraint - I cut back on lunch since my morning snack was larger than planned. I had two events, back-to-back, that could have either one served as dinner. I had little of the first and a minor dinner of the second. That part I handled well.
onebyone – Break a leg at your "poetry sanctuary" today. I suspect that a few public readings will help those self-conscious feelings.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Appreciate you discussion of the To-Do list. I, too, am capable of creating items on a list that are equivalent to End-World-Hunger - so never get addressed at all. Perhaps I need to make a list titled, Opportunities Missed in Life that I can read when I have the mentality to accept that a successful life will also have its misses.
Debbie (Lexxiss) – I'm with you on this, "I need a break from food." Hope your mom recovers smoothly.
silverbirch – Yep, Kudos for editing out the sentences that weren't useful. And Double Kudos for writing in a book at all; I still have a problem overcoming my childhood where books were too sacred for a moral to write upon.
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Yay for sweet potatoes when carbs are needed - I love those. Kudos for not over reacting to your scale readings.
maryann - Yay for a day scheduled to be enjoyed. Love the story of dancing to Carmen the night before the exam - an emotional study session, LOL.
nationalparker – Kudos for recognizing that it was time to take a shower and declare the day done. Looking forward to your review of Gone Girl.
Karen (karenrn) - That's an impressive walking schedule even for New York - Kudos. LOL at the raincoat that's no longer waterproof - BTDT. Wondering if stores in Arizona even sell raincoats.
Readers -
Quote:
Day 24Deal with Discouragement
what are you thinking? When you feel overwhelmed about the future, you may notice some of the following sabotaging thoughts. Prepare for them now by creating Response Cards. Sabotaging Thought: I feel overwhelmed. This program is way too involved. I can't do it! Helpful Response: This book will help me, step-by-step. I don't have to learn everything in one day. I can reread and practice. I can ask my diet coach to help me.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 190.
Did not get back to the Beck Book yesterday, but did stay on program with my diet, so credit for that. This morning I worked thru the BMR, TDEE calculations etc from a link on MFP. I think I'm going to increase my calories just a little to 1350. The biggest reason is that when I go over 1200 on non-exercise days, I feel like I have failed. Just need a little more wiggle room and then I'll be more careful and not eat back all my exercise calories to make up the difference.
I want to see if I can change what I eat just a little and stay the course. I am such a quantity eater that I seem to eat lots of veggies and food with a lower density of calories. I'm going to see if I can control my quantity better to enjoy foods I would love to have. We'll see how that goes.
I love reading the messages from you wonderful writers. Writing has never been my strong point. When I was in graduate school (nursing) and had to write research papers, I'm sure I read twice as much as many because I was procrastinating on getting down to the writing.
Nationalparker The Thai food sounds wonderful. How was Gone Girl? I read the book, but haven't seen the movie yet.
GosfordGirl Your new diet sounds a bit challenging, but if it works and you feel better that's the important thing. Glad you got to indulge in some sweet potatoes though.
Onebyone Have fun at your poetry sanctuary. I've been so nervous when speaking in public that I had to take a beta blocker to keep my heart rate down and me from going into a panic. Luckily after a few successes it got much better. Enjoy your day!
GardenerJoy I'm trying to get on the reviewing Beck bandwagon. Heck I didn't have it down pat enough to begin with. I will pull out my cards and get going again. I'm so impressed with how thoroughly you are working the program even the parts you aren't crazy about.
Lexxis I hope your Mom is doing better. Your life is so busy. I had a couple of years like that when my Dad died, then my sister in law and a few months later my Mom. It about did me in as I was also a hospice nurse at the time. That was many years ago though (2000 - 2004). I hope things settle down for you and that your family members regain their health. It is so hard when people are ill or declining.
Silverbirch Too funny that you are editing the book. I bet there are many people who would much prefer the edited copy. I'm one of those who just reads it and takes what works and honestly forgets the rest. I probably forget too much of it. Good luck dealing with the oldsters in your life. My parents didn't live into their 80's, but I will say there was a lot of worry about them for the last 5 years of their lives or so.
Maryann I hope you had a lovely day. It makes me think I should take my bike in and make sure it still works. We have some great paths here and yet I haven't ridden it once in years.
So ... he suggested back to the one last weekend and again, great food and service. I ate less than half of my serving, which was easily two-plus servings. He will eat the leftover. He's buttoning shirts that last year were worn over tshirts as overshirts. I mean to say he's losing noticeable weight and is feeling much better bc of it. Credits to him ... I ate more quantity today than I probably needed. 
Saturday
Still here. I read the intro to the pink book last night and edited out a few sentences which I thought were rather stretching a point. That made me feel better. Credit for working with the text! 
Credit for encouraging myself to join you! 
A rare wobble for you in your plan. Must have been extraordinary circumstances for sure. So sad to hear your mom had a fall but I am glad she seems to be alright. There's a lot going on for you over there. Take good care!