This morning, I have a food hangover. (Thank god I stopped drinking years ago. This is a bummer.) The last of my San Francisco Trips was last night - 4 trips in 4 weekends which is ridiculous. It was the 50th Birthday party of my once best friend. I let her go two years ago when I realized it had become a dysfunctional relationship which mirrored my family relationships. I went to pay tribute to our friendship of 30 plus years. It was very sad to me to realize I didn't know her or her friends anymore. I know she felt the same. Her mom made all the desserts and they were wonderful bits of my memories. I ate until I was sick. Embarrassing and disappointing. Credit for sneaking away to log everything in a MFP. This morning I am practicing compassion for myself and realizing I still had more grief in me. If I am very careful the next three days I can still get my angel for the week which I really want.
Thank goodness for this blog. It becomes my north star in moments like these. I might not be at my destination but I have a direction.
Food is in MFP. Weight is at ticker. Exercise planned. Baking bread and making Northwoods Bean Soup with ham and spinach for lunch. The leftover ham and bread will be lunches for DS for the rest of the week.
nationalparker: Funny, I was thinking about the holidays, as well. After the fisticuffs between my brothers, battlelines have been drawn in the family and there is no way we will have a complete family holiday. This makes me very sad. I know that when I have made new holiday traditions, they have always been happy ones. Maybe we need to make some new traditions this year.
Xena3: I am with GosfordGirl. Your menu plans sound ingenious.
ForMyGirls: You are absolutely right. Measuring is true enlightment. Now to the acceptance part of how little I can eat.
Lexxiss: Your productiveness is always an inspiration to me. What would you r family do without you? Credit.
BBE: Blueberries are the one thing we really don't have access to out here. I don't think it is wet enough for them.
gardenerjoy: Isn't it true that the media makes everything scarrier than it is. Happens many times when we have natural disasters out here - fire, flood, earthquake. I like your plan of limiting media.
This weekend is flying by way too quickly for me. Have tackled a lot today ... and now want to just relax and watch something on PBS ... I must have something DVRd that I want ... if not, I'd like to start a series on Netflix and get intrigued to hook before winter.
Shaved down and bathed our pooch, which is a major time commitment. Surprised that she is sitting next to me now as she despises both the shaving/trimming and the bath. ... Ran some errands and cleaned up the kitchen and then prepped lasagna for our work food day tomorrow. Made a mini one for DH to take into work to share, as well. Few guys on the night shift. Recleaned up the kitchen.
Making a list of projects to tackle - both small (replacing tub spout) and large (FINALLY handle that dang berm project from last year that I keep sidetracking myself ... though I'm giving myself a pass for this summer so far)... Did some weeding last night and again this morning. Thirty minutes here and there will add up and show some progress sooner or later.
Lexxiss - Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that book. I struggled with how b*tchy I thought the author came across and thought of COURSE she should work to be happier since she was such a nag to her husband. So after getting that thought in my mind and reading some portions to DH, I kind of bagged on the last few months...
Maryann - My favorite Christmas holidays have often been those with only part of my family there. My brother is still in Florida and has his kids/grands there and I'm hoping we'll get there at some point. We get along wonderfully. My sister just brings too much stress and frustration, so when our holiday has included her and her kids, it's just bordered on miserable. One of our favorite traditions has been the luminaries. It's inexpensive and oh, so pretty. They last nearly all night with the votive candles. No good in wind, though.
Bill - I hope you receive frequent shopper recognition of some sort at your hardware store. Even them just knowing your name!
GardenerJoy - Continued wishes for peace there. Major credits to not get sucked into round-the-clock coverage viewing and to keep food in control.
Decided to face the scale this morning since I just knew it'd be up from the indulgent meal ... and am down to 160.8 ... I felt like we did all we could do to spread the calories around and eat wisely in other meals, so feel it paid off and am glad I did hop on the scale. I know no one sees that number - they see my body/shape, but it's nice to see it slowly edging back down. Days that I'm home much of the day prove to be a challenge. Credit - staying on track more than I thought I could today.
Tonight continues to be a challenge, though. Ran another errand and walked around a few stores for a few hours. I went super light at dinner and now want something else ... I have the calories to do it if I decide but I'm not hungry, just keep thinking about it.
Bringing out the pink Beck book again this week... Will do the "I'll open it and hopefully it'll land on something I need to read" plan.
Day 7 on plan (I think it is). I still feel comfortable and committed. Had a heavy teaching day but ate everything I took with me for meals and snacks except for one thing (tuna) because I had had enough. I am not scrimping on calories and at night am not too hungry. Last night I only wanted soup. I am trying to stay under 1500 but the "book" basically advises to just restrict carbs so I am not too concerned if I go a bit over.
ForMyGirls - Credit for giving the fruit juice and yoghurt a swerve. It is scary when the food gets logged and the bottom line appears - hopefully you get it in check soon
Debbie (Lexxiss) - nice to see you back and around. Crazy busy seems to be the way of the world these days. But your family circumstances are adding to that. Credit for having time to focus on your food. An idea to conjure with - you up a tree with a saw LOL. Credit for being physically able now to take on these challenges
BillBE - Fraconia Ridge looks profound - and a good cure for snacking. It is always easier to stay away from food or snacks when something like that is going on. Supreme distraction isn't it - not simply that there is nothing available because of rations. I need to remember thanks that if I keep myself active and occupied I don't start to forage
Gardenerjoy - the positive protests from your part of the world are inspirational really. A tough gig though
Maryann - ouch for a food hangover. Thank you for the eloquent discription of what can trigger overeating. Mixture of nostalgia and pain and discomfort. Here's to another angel
Nationalparker- hope you got to relax and chill. Credit for all the preparation and environmental organisation to keep you on the path. Poor dog though - my two suffer through grooming whereas the last 2 used to line up for a bath. Nature v nurture
Today:
- 193.6 pounds [no change]
- Logged my food
- Under 20g CHO
- Under 1500 - a bit over tonight
- No gym - lots of walking
Diet Coaches/Buddies – The standard Sunday walk, CREDIT moi, past three different piles of goodies stacked on the curb FREE for the taking. I took none of the stuff that attracted me, CREDIT moi since my DW isn't fond of me dragging home things that "I might use someday."
I did however pick up When London Walked in Terror in honor of Joy (gardenerjoy)'s upcoming trip - a 1965 version of Jack the Ripper's four gruesome murders during the fall of 1888. Long before the Internet provided a place for wild unfounded rumours to be published, London had Broadsheets printed with the speed of Tweets and sold for a coin.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Our dinner included a wad of Collard Greens from our still producing garden, as well as a tomato salad.
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Kudos for leaving some tuna even though planned. I think it a big deal to leave food - am still working on it.
maryann - Yep, Kudos for "log everything in a MFP" and moving forward.
nationalparker – Neat to have a project like the berm hanging to make it more desirable to do a smaller task like replacing a tub spout.
Readers -
Quote:
day 21Get Ready to Weigh In
The Numbers on the Scale
Think about previous times when you've weighted yourself and felt unhappy. Does the following scenario seem familiar?
Situation: The scale shows a higher weight than you'd hoped to see. => Sabotaging Thought:I can't believe it. This is really terrible. => Emotion: Upset (angry, sad, demoralized, hopeless) => Behavior: Embark on a "bad eating day"
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 171.
Way past my bedtime so I won't do personals. Got caught up in an all consuming work task that used the whole day and then realised I had a ton of urgent emails that were unanswered so has been a long ole work day today.
I didn't exercise again which is problematic - and there won't be time tomorrow as I have back to back meetings virtually all day. Though there will be some incidental exercise getting from one meeting to the next. Maybe I can increase that by going up and down some unnecessary stairs somewhere along the line.
On the upside - a second day of eating and drinking exactly what I said I would. And food for tomorrow is all planned. Sorely tempted by leftover pastry when I cooked a quiche for tomorrow night's dinner but I binned it instead. Yay me!
Day 16 today. Preventing unplanned eating - aka NO CHOICE. This and eating sitting down have got to be Beck's most awesome inventions. Sooooo powerful. I made my No Choice card. My rules are:
1. I will follow my plan
2. I can only eat or drink something that is not on my plan if I swap it for something equivalent
3. I will measure food other than vegetables (unless i am eating out - which doesn't happne often and then I will do my best to estimate)
4. I will eat a decent quantity of vegetables at lunch and dinner
5. I will eat 2 serves of fruit a day
6. I will make sure there is protein in dinner every night
Last edited by ForMyGirls; 08-18-2014 at 10:38 AM.
Still on plan. As Lexxiss often notes, crises are handled better on-plan than off. I've been proving that to myself in the last week. I want to remember it in the future.
WI: -0.1 kg, Exercise: +50 695/1400 minutes for August, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
BillBlueEyes: love the very 60s cover of When London Walked in Terror. I've read a graphic "novel" version by Rick Geary that was fun and more informative than it sounds. He's also done books on The Lindbergh Child and The Borden Tragedy (as in, Lizzie Borden).
On track yesterday for the week. Credit. I have been exercising everyday because I need the calories burned in MFP after this weekend. It doesn't matter why I do it, I just have to do it. I use to exercise all the time five years ago. I can tell I am five years older. Yoga tomorrow so I can stretch some of my aching muscles.
GosfordGirl: Packing food for work is absolutely key for me. It is comforting to know i don't have to go skulking around in bad food places to feed myself. Credit for 7 days.
ForMyGirls: As always, I needed the reminder of the brilliance of sitting while I am eating. Selective amnesia is my diagnosis.
nationalparker: Good Luck on projects. I get a lot of satisfaction and distractions (per Beck) when I finish a project.
Missed you all. Of course you were around, I was not. Much work progress with much regression in my food. It seems to work like that with me I have noticed. Give me a deadline, an event, a requirement to meet and I will do it, but my food and foodplan will collapse. Really really identifying this pattern and really really working to change it will have to be a major focus for me if I am ever to shed this weight.
Hi Coaches!
Just a quick check in... I'm sitting at the car waiting area at the Denver airport. My sister has landed and is waiting for luggage. Then we are off to Wh foods for dinner. It starts a new chapter in my life I'm not looking forward to but will walk forward with grace and keep my serenity prayer close.
Thx for reinforcing comments regarding my lumberjack abilities. I am determined not to spend my life waiting for someone else to help me get things accomplished. I am finding courage to do things myself. Credit. Plus, I have an incredible folding handsaw which I keep hidden from DH. Lol
Take care all! I won't get home until late tonight and work tomorrow.
Ps my dinner tonight has forethought. It's much easier for me to stay with a plan when I make one. Credit
Last week was maybe a C- for food. Completely OP for only two days and mixed success on the remainder. But then I have to downgrade to an F because I didn't weigh in on Friday. That is the first one I've missed since I started more than 6 months ago. On the plus side, 100% OP today. Step class yesterday, long walk today. Posting here. I think tomorrow will be good too. Maybe I will even weigh in.
Hello, all. A non-productive day at work and a very productive evening at home. Met for lunch with a coworker who is going through a lot of personal crises now. He's scheduled a few lunches and this time I said, whatever you want to share with me, I'm open to hearing. No judging. He said no? I said no. We only get to go through this world one time. So he shared it all with me and we took a two-hour lunch. He said it was the first time he's been able to share the full story, and felt so good when he finished. He's making a lot of life changes and is moving west next week. He thanked me for allowing him to share, and for "being you". That was a kind comment.
Major car issues with DH's car that were repaired today - more than $1K ... ouch. Luckily we put aside money from each paycheck for car repairs/next car, but that still was a solid hit to the account. Had to do both drop off and pick up runs so workday was cut short.
The lasagna I took in for the food day was a big hit, which made me feel good. I totally "get" food pushers. I, too, am validated that I am worthy because people like to eat my food. What gives?? So silly, yet ...
Credits - passed up cupcakes, muffins, chips/dip, etc. Did allow myself to savor half of a cookie that was good.
Stayed busy this evening - went to the garden center and picked up two sale flats of pink begonias and a beautiful lantana. Super cheap and gorgeous. I overplanted two rectangular planters we brought back from Italy decades ago ... and brought here from mom and dad's. Planted a few other nook pots and redid a few large pots with condensing other flowers - the patio looks welcoming and fresh; a nice change for late summer. Took another half hour to keep weeding the side yard, and feel good to keep the yard/garden project going.
Forgot to weigh this morning, but feel I've done well lately and regardless of what it shows, I am pleased with my effort. New size 12 capris are getting loose but think it's just cheap material. But felt good.
Goals for tomorrow - stay busy again in the evening so as to not snack ... bypass the leftover work food day snacks that will be waiting for us in the morning.
I hate seeing the scale go back up even though I know it is within normal fluctuations. I went back to the day before to check I didn't have any sneaky calories - and I didn't. Carbs ended up a bit more than 20 but a lot less than 50 (~35) and I am still showing ketones so that isn't the problem. So it is just fluctuations - sigh. The fragility of motivation and belief in success is ridiculous.
Hanging in there today and still on plan D8. Struggling with myself about gym on the way home from work - do NOT want to do it and in fact my muscles are not feeling that good. Depleted of glycogen and definitely not burning ketones. Or maybe I need to give them a reason to burn ketones as in do some exercise. We'll see if I do go. Postscript - I did go, did a full workout and it wasn't too horrible but the legs did not want to stay on the bike so I came home
BillBE - LOL at "broadsheets printed with the speed of tweets" and not needing the internet to spread wild unfounded rumours - they obviously did do quite well without it
ForMyGirls - Credit for 2 days on plan and for planning ahead. Credit for resisting food not on plan
Maryann - totally agree with the "bad food places". One trip to the canteen at work unhinges my resolve so I need to stay away. No sensible choices there really. Credit for exercising even though the body complains
Onebyone - I totally relate to being unable to keep the two balls in the air at the same time: the being-on-plan ball; and the deadline ball. Of course the being-OP-ball is easier to drop as there are no (obvious and immediate) external repercussions. It astonishes me how much time and effort is involved in keeping on plan, creating a plan, buying things to eat on plan, cooking on plan. But it has to be done...
Debbie / Lexxiss - thinking of you as you start a new chapter in your like. Take care to look after yourself.
flnu - Credit for 2 days on plan! Credit for exercise and posting. Credit for on the road back.
Nationalparker - credit for making time and space to look after a colleague. Good range of goals for tomorrow.
Today:
- 194 pounds [+ 0.4]
- Logged my food
- Under 20g CHO
- Under 1500
- Gym
Last edited by GosfordGirl; 08-19-2014 at 10:40 PM.
Day 17 - learning how not to overeat. The exercise where you put extra food on your plate, and then leave it there. We were having a side salad with dinner, which I would, historically, have covered with ranch dressing. So tonight I put some ranch dressing on the side, and didn't touch it. Finding myself very hungry these first few days. Oh well. The upside is that it does make me appreciate things. Yoghurt today was possibly the most delicious thing I have ever eaten!
Credits - staying on track. Eating what I had planned at a catered lunch (just sandwiches, so easy to be on track, but still ,very easy to have some extras).
Lexxiss Thinking of you with your sister's arrival and the hard road that lies ahead.
GosfordGirl Yay to you for pushing through that resistance and making it to the gym today
Tuesday - National Aviation Day: Birthday of aviator Orville Wright
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Finished a loooooog to-do list of stuff that had to be completed by Wednesday. CREDIT moi for completing something early so that I can get back to other stuff - like planning a day trip this weekend with DW to explore a new area. Warning: Do not become interested in Jack the Ripper. Amazon returns: 1-12 of 1,135 results for Books : "jack the ripper books". There's - a new one described just today. google returns zillions of gruesome pictures, some authentic but most from the fantasies and popular myths. I've got to become more selective with my reading directions.
Meals were on plan, CREDIT moi, with snacks still an issue. Fortunately, the snack food that appeals the most is gone so scarcity becomes an ally.
onebyone – But certainly Kudos for the work progress with supportive thoughts for combining for combining work and food progress together.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Thanks for "crises are handled better on-plan than off." I've joined JTRA (Jack the Ripper Anonymous) recognizing that folks get trapped into this stuff and never emerge.
Debbie (Lexxiss) – LOL at the profound, "It's much easier for me to stay with a plan when I make one."
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Super Kudos for going to gym when you didn't want to go.
maryann - Yay for yoga for aching muscles.
nationalparker – Ouch for that car repair. I'm convinced that my garage has me tagged for a certain spending level; the bill is never under $300. Kudos for being a two-hour listener for your co-worker.
ForMyGirls - Super Kudos for "tempted by leftover pastry ... but I binned it instead." I love it when someone can throw food away. And Kudos for staying the path at a catered lunch.
flnu - "100% OP today" is always Kudos worthy.
Readers -
Quote:
day 21Get Ready to Weigh In
The Numbers on the Scale
If you view your weight as an indication of how weak, inadequate, or out of control you are, then weight gains (or smaller-than-expected weight losses) can easily result in overeating.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 171.
We took my brother and his family out for his birthday last night -- a French restaurant. I previewed the menu and wrote on my plan exactly what I intended to order, including that I would take home half of the entree. I followed it until DH liked the sound of one of the desserts and suggested we split it. The dessert was good and acceptable behavior on a festive day. I still ended up with the right calorie count in MFP and got a drop on the scale this morning, so I'm feeling fine about it. The best part of the meal was the bibb lettuce salad in tarragon vinaigrette with actual parsley leaves and tarragon leaves as part of the greenery in the salad.
Lunch, today, will be the leftover swordfish and mashed potatoes. I may smash them together and make a fish cake out of it. Alongside my salad, that should be quite tasty!
WI: -0.15 kg, Exercise: +60 755/1400 minutes for August, Food: 70% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
maryann: I think I may do yoga today, too. I've been walking as a stress reliever, but I woke up a little achy in the joints today, and I think yoga will help.
onebyone: glad to see you back here.
Lexxiss: hugs for you and your sister and your mom.
flnu: 100%OP is great!
nationalparker: love your insight about food pushers -- I see myself in that, too! You're garden sounds lovely!
ForMyGirls: great observation that hunger makes food taste better.
BillBlueEyes: good for you for recognizing that JtR is not a healthy obsession. The most popular walking tours in London are Ripper-related. We're not taking any of those. Instead, we'll take a "walk" that explores the history and architecture of the Tube and one that will tell us all about the Brunels (father and son), including a visit down to the entrance of the Thames Tunnel.
Monday
today
and in fact my muscles are not feeling that good. Depleted of glycogen and definitely not burning ketones. Or maybe I need to give them a reason to burn ketones as in do some exercise. We'll see if I do go. Postscript - I did go, did a full workout and it wasn't too horrible but the legs did not want to stay on the bike so I came home