Weight remains the same. Mystifying to me that my scale reads the same, down to the .4 pound several days in a row. I picked up something heavier to reset it if that mattered, and still no diff. Disordered thinking to be that focused on checking the scale reading. Next goal is to get under 160, and am aiming for that before August. Seems like it should be no issue, but sitting at 162.4, it seems forever away, especially thinking that two months ago I was at 170.
We enjoyed a stunning sunset last night after dinner, which was moved into the regular rotation after I realized how easy and healthy it was ... DH gladly took a portion of the leftovers for work today. I suggested a small ice cream cone (1/4 cup ice cream in sugar cone) to DH as dessert ... why did I not just stop after dinner and not search for a sweet treat?
Today's DH's last day at work this week. We're taking his folks out for their anniversary on Saturday, meeting in another city at a steakhouse of their choosing. I will go online before then and select my meal out of the chicken or salad options.
Need to plan the long weekend out mealwise, because I allowed too many treats into last weekend when I was off three days. Need to stay on track and not have to refocus on Monday. And I need to realize that July 3 is NOT a holiday!
Reminded myself a lot today that food is fuel, not just for fun or escape.
AZtricia: Agree with you about the heat. Couldn't it just be 70 degrees all the time? Sorry your pup made a mess. It sounds like you are reminding yourself that stress doesn't mean we have to eat though, so pup was really helping you
BillBlueEyes: Maybe you should give your snacks a different name. The term snack sounds kind of slight in size, and fun to do. Maybe 'sneaky food'?
Thanks everyone for the supportive messages. It really helps. This is the only place in my life where I share my weight loss thoughts and struggles so I really appreciate everyone here.
maryann-- What you said about compulsive overeating being a disease of isolation is so true. You have really given me something to think about.
nationalparker--you also gave me something to think about in looking at these setbacks not as starting all over but as inevitable bumps. Maybe that is easier to manage than trying to gear up for another attempt.
gardenerjoy-- I am taking Dr. Yoni's book with me on vacation this Friday and am going to start reading it again- that book really helped me stay on a good path for awhile. I am going to write down everything I eat while I am away and get back into that habit- I know it helps a lot.
I will be away now for a week and a bit. I am going to do my very best to eat sanely. I will try to check in if I can while away.
Better day today. OP. Picked up fresh grapes from a member of our local coop. She has all sorts of fruit growing on her property. Purchased pizza for the boys, but other than a couple bites (weighed/logged!) I had left-over salmon for dinner instead.
Wednesday Sabotage: I know I already had enough, but I want just one more cookie. Response: If I have one more, Ill want another one. And another one after that. The craving wont go away just because I have "one more." Its true Im unsatisfied now, but Im still going to be unsatisfied after one more, two more, etc., so I might as well just stop now.
Woodland Thanks for the reminder about food=fuel. LOL about pup being helpful...don't really think so. He stayed inside chewing on a treat past when he needed to "go" and left drips all over the living-room, up the couch, changed his mind and left a path all the way outside with a puddle on the door mat. Do not know what was up with him. He is a rescue we've only had since January so some of his behaviors/triggers I don't understand. Had to wet vac the whole room & couch, mop the tile...ugh!
nationalparker Wishing you an on-track weekend and thoughtful planning for your days off.
maryann Oooh, cool weather and water...wishing I was going to Tahoe too! Wishing you the best in the new normal of discipline & OP vs swings from unhealthy choices.
gardenerjoy Love grainy bread! You mostly make your own, right? We mill Kamut/Spelt/Wheat in about equal portions for our bread.
Beachbody Best of luck with Day 8. The time/energy is critical to longterm success. Bummer about the gluten, but glad you recognized the cause.
BillBlueEyes Only 101 today but 20% humidity since monsoons are on the way. There was a nice breeze when I walked this morning. Packages are fun!
Cheryl/GosfordGirl Thanks for the encouragement. Sounds like you are working a bunch. Kudos for a plan/schedule for tomorrow.
Diet Coaches/Buddies Spent my day waiting for Amazon to deliver the drill bit. It arrived five minutes before our dinner guests. Poor friends, starting conversation was to admire my new toy. Thus, no progress on the project, except that when studying what I had to do next I realized that I had one more unexpected problem to conquer before I can even use the drill bit. My friends, noting my ability to attempt impossible jobs, invited me to run a vent fan from their interior kitchen stove to an outside wall, LOL. They dread finding out the cost of doing that.
Same ol' same ol' for eating. Some 'sneaky food' snuck in. Temps reached 91+ degrees Fahrenheit before the threatening thunder storms dropped them radically enough to enjoy the evening outside with friends. The Blue jay was on the fence with its beak open panting to cool down. Boston's Fourth of July fireworks are moved up 24 hours to tonight in order to avoid approaching Hurricane Arthur.
Joy (gardenerjoy) Your egg-and-cress sandwich sounds good.
CeeJay - Have a nice week; we'll send our silent supporting thoughts while you're gone.
maryann - Thanks for sharing your new Advantage Card, "I will feel nourished and loved when I stay ON PLAN." It's neat to realize that we can feel nourished from something other than food.
Woodland - Good to be reminded that "food is fuel, not just for fun or escape."
Tricia (AZtricia) - Left-over salmon beats pizza any day. 101 degrees is hard to imagine.
Christie (Beachbody) - Ouch for your diagnosed diary allergy and for having to chase down your reaction to wheat. Hope you figure out what's possible for you to eat. This is a problem, "Eating out and at other people's houses means you do not know."
Readers -
Quote:
day 18Change your Definition of Full
Once I change my definition of
fullness, dieting will be easier.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 160.
I ate more food yesterday to make a break last longer. That one's trickier than some of my sabotaging thoughts because it demonstrably works. Of course, a cup of tea, a glass of water, or just sitting longer would have the same effect without the calories. And, they wouldn't lead to the "just one more" syndrome that AZTricia posted about this morning.
WI: NA kg, Exercise: +70 120/1400 minutes for July, Food: 70% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
AZTricia: I've got spelt in the pantry to play with, but I haven't looked at kamut. I'll check for that at Whole Foods today. Thanks for the link to the cravings piece. I copied that response to my list, because I recognize that scenario!
BillBlueEyes: we priced the cost of a vent fan over the kitchen stove years ago. The price was as far as we got....It's still on the list -- we just have to let the sticker shock adjust.
CeeJay: sounds like you're poised for a good week -- good for you for pulling it together as you leave on vacation.
Woodland: I need the thought that food is not an escape.
nationalparker: Good reminder that July 3 is not a holiday.
Test for me today: lunch out with coworker was larger than recent lunches ... can I follow through with a lighter dinner tonight? Lunch was a lunch portion, not a full-size portion, but I could have taken some of it home, in retrospect. Or just left it.
I'm not going to beat myself up over it, but need to replan tonight's dinner. DH most likely had a larger meal as well, meeting his older daughter for lunch.
Office is closing early today - thankful for the extra "me" time. If the sun stays out, I'm going to take a stack of my magazines onto the patio and relax in the sunshine and soak up some Vitamin D. Our temps have really cooled off to be 55-75 range. Last year at this time we were close to 100, I think, so no complaints from me. I'll take anything hot but dread the cold.
Goal is to pull out the pink Beck book and start rereading each day and rewriting new ARCs. I haven't referred to mine in way too long.
Pleasantly surprised by the nutrition count that my recent baking experiment with bread sticks has resulted in. Only 150 calories per stick! They have enough flavor that I don't add anything else. Yeah! I can have a few I do have to watch the carb amount in them, but they also have 5 grams of protein each as well. I don't eat much meat at all, so I'm always looking for ways to get my daily protein.
I LOVE knowing the nutrition numbers of food. With mystery comes overeating for me.
AZtricia: Thanks for the link to the Beck Blog. I'd forgotten about that site and will enjoy reading it. I have a rescue dog too, and recently she'd been doing big puddles. My husband actually stood in puddle one morning because she'd quietly gone downstairs overnight and left it by the door. I've tried to reward her with praise when she goes outside more than usual, and asked her if she needs to go out more often. She's busy with other things like yours is and leaves that til later!
BillBlueEyes: Those sneaky snacks! Maybe they need a harsher term! Good luck with the coming storm.
nationalparker: I'm doing the same thing in reviewing the books ( I have the pink book and the workbook).
We traveled early yesterday morning and when we got over the hill one thing turned to the next...to the next...etc. Some good things, we are now picking raspberries, and some agitations...sitting 3-1/2 hrs in Dr. office then DH getting agitated and leaving. Some credits, too:
~ politely asking they remake my lunch which I had requested NoCheese. They did...I didn't want the cheese .
~not going to 7/11 for pastries (even though brain kept saying do it)
~only eating my plan-approved foods
~ordering sensibly at lunch.
Today I had a more solid "plan" yet it got derailed again when a project helper was available during our lunch time .we projected then the guys left together so mom and I headed out to do our chores. No lunch. Ouch. Fortunately, hunger is not an emergency and I had a snack plus a portion of our dinner salad when we returned. We will eat dinner early. I think that makes sense. I'm so glad I have a plan which guides me with acceptable/non acceptable foods. It makes my choices a lot easier on days like today.
BBE, enjoy those fireworks tonight. No Atlantic here and 20th Anniversary of the Storm King Fire, (July 6, 1994), where the 14 hotshots were killed. Said mountain is visible out my West window and out of respect we will not have fireworks. The pup is going to be especially happy!
Woodland, glad you're getting back into your number crunching. I don't buy anymore without reading and often after reading I will put something back.
Nationalparker, good you are planning to rewrite your arcs.
Gardenerjoy, great reminder about that cup of tea filling a space of time! I think I'm going to use that one right now!
Aztricia, such a powerful reminder, that once we are in the cycle no amount satisfies us so might as well stop now.
CeeJay, credit for checking in 2 days in a row...still my best strategy for staying on track (or getting back on track)
MaryAnn, we have a vitamix both places. The first time I forgot it and had to accept living without it for a week we went right down and got another. I'm a cheapskate but never questioned our decision for one minute. My smoothie is the foundation of my plan.
It rained just enough to give our fence a "freckled" look briefly, but there is a 40% chance of more scattered showers for a few more hours. Thankfully the cloud cover has cooled it off a couple degrees. Today was OP.
Beck FB Think Thin Thursday Tip: If you’re going to barbeques this weekend with lots of food, remember that at such events you have two options: You can eat smaller portions of more things, or bigger portions of fewer things. Most people psychologically find it more satisfying to eat bigger portions of fewer things, but whatever you decide, be deliberate with your choices.
Debbie/Lexxiss Sounds like your plan is flexible and works well despite disruptions. Kudos for resisting multiple temptations.
Woodland Glad you enjoyed your healthy bread-sticks. Dogs!
nationalparker Kudos for thoughtful re-planning.
gardenerjoy I need to get back to a cup of tea when I want something but should wait...I have been out of the habit since the weather has warmed. Kamut is a rich tasting grain high in protein. We love it for pancakes, banana bread, and cracked/cooked it makes an awesome breakfast cereal. In bread it is heavier/denser and won't rise as high.
BillBlueEyes Oh no, volunteered for more projects - yikes! Wishing you a good Independence celebration and safety during the storm.
Cheryl/GosfordGirl Hope you've had a good day. Missed you today.
Can't even remember what happened yesterday but I got in late and had to get organised and fed etc. I am not even making 5000 steps at the moment so it seems not having the girls around is very bad for my incidental exercise as I just focus too much on work when I am home and don't go for a long walk each morning. They will be away for another 2 and a bit weeks - pick them up on 21st
Credits are not hot and I am obviously not paying a lot of attention to diet etc but I will keep checking in and see if I get sorted out. Made a ham hock stock while I was working today to make into a pumpkin soup. Have chopped the pumpkin and will roast it tonight and get it finished tomorrow - will have that for work etc. Have started to get veggies prepped and meals planned to survive next week. So the kitchen is chaos - pumpkin soup half way, veg prep half way, and dinner half way. Chaos.
Also - the buyer for my house found that the repairs I got done after a termite strike were dodgy (I thought they were fine - and they still could be I guess - but had not crawled around in the roof space) and wanted 10 K knocked off the price. He is a builder - I really just want it over and the RE seems to think it was reasonable so I agreed. I just want next Wednesday to come and have it committed.
CeeJay - have a good week away and I hope Dr Yoni's book brings inspiration and commitment again for you
BillBE - Bet the drill bit made great dinner party conversation. Ouch for sneaky food. I looked up hurricane Arthur and hopefully it isn't too nasty
Gardenerjoy - I will have to see if I do this - extend breaks by eating. Good pickup
Nationalparker - hope the lunch out went well. And that you got to enjoy the sun and the patio
Woodland - Yay for bread sticks that fit your plan and which meet your macronutrient targets
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Seems like a tricky few days. Ouch for long waiting times and agitated partners. You obviously know how to handle a returned meal
Tricia - hope the weather has cooled. I am so enjoying winter. I still wake up sweating with a wet face etc and notice it is only 17 C - don't know how I survive summer really. You didn't say a lot about what else was happening for you (except naughty dogs! and kamut baking). Thanks for missing me - it is good to be held accountable and not just disappear with no mention
Credits
- Checked in
- Ate on plan - no - extra snacks and a bit all over the place
- Logged food - yes - forced myself
- I stopped eating when satisfied - true as a bit distracted but the evenings are a problem
- Weighed myself - still over
- Exercised - gym - went yesterday for PT and plan tomorrow
- Made opportunities for incidental exercise - NO - steps are way under
Diet Coaches/Buddies Used my new drill bit with great joy but, Drats, it wasn't long enough. I spent part of the day in the sweltering heat of my attic trying to conjure a solution to make a 24 inch drill bit do the job of a 25 inch bit. I'm not sure what I'm going to do today - maybe take the Fourth of July as a vacation day and let my background brain figure out a solution. (The next size drill bit is 54" - one looooong device.)
Walk, CREDIT moi, included our community garden where I gathered lettuce and picked the last of the Sugar Snaps. The vines are drying out; they're done. I carefully extracted some wandering tendrils from the tomato cages where they'd gone to visit. They have to be removed so that our cukes can use the fencing to climb. Eating was same ol'. The rains arrived suddenly last night at 10pm; DW measured a half inch in the thirty minutes - quite a bit. It's clear right now. I don't know if more of Hurricane Arthur is coming today.
Joy (gardenerjoy) LOL that continuing to eat does extend a break. Years ago, my walks to the vending machine for chocolate bars was probably exercising my need for a break to clear my mind. On days when there were no chocolate bars, I returned just as happy and went back to work. [Have you considered an exhaust fan installed on the outside wall without the vent to the stove? It would provide, perhaps, 90% of what's wanted at a fraction of the cost.]
Debbie (Lexxiss) Yay for raspberries - especially handpicked ones. Kudos for requesting that your lunch be prepared per your no-cheese request. [Remembering with great sadness that Storm King Fire and the 14 hotshots lost.]
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) Kudos for being willing to make a decision about the sale price of your house. Yay for a kitchen filled with pumpkin soup and veggie prep.
Woodland - Interesting, "With mystery comes overeating for me." Yay for nutrition data to help stay the path.
nationalparker Yay for patio time in the sunshine with the temperatures to support it.
Tricia (AZtricia) - Hoping you get some rain, although Hurricane Arthur's reach doesn't include Arizona.
Readers -
Quote:
day 19Stop Fooling Yourself
Dieters have an amazing ability to delude themselves about food. They might be very rational and reasonable in other ways, but not when it comes to dieting. Think about times you've dieted and were supposed to limit what you ate. Did you give yourself a "fake" excuse to eat?
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 162.
Family potluck this afternoon / evening. Here's what I wrote for my plan while we're out in the country: No snacks! Focus on veggies. Tiny servings of everything else.
WI: +0.5 kg, Exercise: +40 160/1400 minutes for July, Food: 90% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
GosfordGirl: your pumpkin soup sounds yummy!
BillBlueEyes: thanks for the exhaust fan / stove vent thought. That could work for us! We have an exterior wall nearby, just not over the stove.
Woodland: nutrition information has been helping me recently, too. I've been making more of my bread into sweet and savory bread puddings which get me more protein with my bread.
On day 4 of Beck - give myself credit. I was debating on staying on Day 3 "sitting down" until it becomes automatic but I will be practicing it everyday now so I guess I can keep moving on.
Non food related - Big fight with DH this morning. I feel miserable and haven't even seen him. He has been working for 12 days straight. I thought we were going to have a 4th Holiday; he wasn't even leaving until 11:00 to get up here. I get upset and now suddenly he is leaving at 8:00. I am tired of endlessly playing the understanding wife until I can't anymore and then I transform into the bad guy.
Neither role is very comforting.
So I am in a lot of emotional pain. As always, I have to think of DS first. I stuff what I am feeling to make things better for him. Usually I stuff with food. But I am tired of stuffing things with food. How do I appropriately release my anger? My advantage card reads - I will feel what I am supposed to feel and move on. The problem is this feeling doesn't "feel" like it is ever going to move on. I tell myself this has never been true. This too shall pass and I will be happier if I haven't overeaten when it does pass.
Some holiday. The best I can do is post here. Do some weeding outside. Maybe the physical exertion will help. Then I can plan a hike when DH gets here. I don't even want to see him right now. Maybe after all that, I will get off the pity pot and come up with a mature solution.
Need to rein things in here a bit on the food front, though nothing has been crazy. Was aggravated yesterday as DH's older daughter was coming to meet him for lunch. He texts me after 3 and says she's not there yet and he's worrying. She didn't take her phone as it's needing a repair. Anyway, she "got lost" and a trip that was 45 minutes turned into more than three hours. He believes her; I don't. No need to go into it with him - he can believe what he wants. Anyway he asks if I want to go to dinner with them. I say no, go ahead. No, we're going to snack now and go with you later. Ended up at a Thai place and I have no trouble going light there as I don't love any of it (not like "my" Thai place at home). Was planning on a fire pit and s'mores so ended up doing that and she spent the night.
Today I've indulged with a 1/4 c ice cream on a sugar cone and hope my resistance muscle is strong tonight. Feel like I'm more into food here than at my folks.
Bought a watermelon for the weekend and I never have luck with choosing a sweet one. Keeping my fingers crossed this is a winner. Opened my yap and mentioned if DH wanted to make a small portion of homemade vanilla ice cream for the holiday weekend. Last time he tried to make ice milk and it was terrible - hard as ice and just not good. We ended up melting it off and dumping much of it. I said i'm down with making a small portion of something GOOD, enjoying it inn moderation and that's it. We'll see. I keep thinking of things to EAT. ARGH.
Maryann - Sorry to hear that this has been a challenging day for you - I hate that feeling of unease/unsettled/anger that I get in an argument. Hope you were able to burn off some of the ugh in your garden.
Bill - This fan job of yours is a doozy. I think at this point it becomes a neighborhood project with a winner awarded for whoever has the bit that does the job
GardenerJoy - Many weekends now I think of you at the farmer's market ... yet I haven't made the time to go yet. Maybe I commit to it next weekend. I have a new neighbor and haven't yet figured out her schedule (days/nights/what?) but if we cross paths again, I might see if she's interested in joining me. She's just moved here from Colorado.
GosfordGirl - Credits for the mental peace of hopefully having the home sale wrapped up in less than a week.
AZTricia - Not sure WHY but just every now and then I notice tickers and YOWSERS - one pound away from 200 and 60 pounds down. That's superb and reflects a ton of commitment and hard work on your part. Major kudos for this journey you're on.
Lexxiss - Good job for extracting the credits in your busy day. I am so quick to jump on my "demerits" ... I like seeing what you recognize as helping you on your life commitment to healthy eating/outlook.
Last edited by nationalparker; 07-04-2014 at 03:19 PM.
but 20% humidity since monsoons are on the way. There was a nice breeze when I walked this morning. Packages are fun!
Thursday
(I thought they were fine - and they still could be I guess - but had not crawled around in the roof space) and wanted 10 K knocked off the price. He is a builder - I really just want it over and the RE seems to think it was reasonable so I agreed. I just want next Wednesday to come and have it committed.
