In a down spot today - food has been fine and ratio of work:relaxation has been ok, but just worrying about my Dad and I have been putting off calling him some days for reason I have no rational answer for. I know he doesn't like talking on the phone and I feel it's a bother, but am I trying to avoid hearing him sound bad? Or say he's in pain? Or what? I have no issues with planning trips to see/care for him, or to stay up with him through the night when he was in terrible pain, etc. I am feeling a bit guilty for this strange delay tactic. I still do make the call and the times always vary as his napping does, etc.
DH is spending time with his younger daughter this afternoon/evening. Movie and dinner, I figure. I asked him to please just ensure they go somewhere they can choose healthier than the last time. He is often surprised by calorie counts in foods, yet even with his new phone, he never looks them up.
If the radar shows no more rain, I suspect we'll head out for another trail walk this evening, but it does look pretty cloudy so the moon might be MIA for us. Was so shocked last night to see such a stellar shooting star. I thought it was a gift to me, along with the deer, fox and coyote we spotted at various spots along the way. DH can see them all. I have to really LOOK to see them. Different upbringing, I know. I can spot the pickpockets at the train stations in Italy way better, so I call it even.
Bill - I am with you on the appliances. I despise those that want to think for me. I want a key with my car (hello, how about when YOU have the "key" in your purse, so it starts right up, but you're the passenger ... get dropped off and DH heads on to his next stop and viola, no way to restart the car at the hardware store... it happens). He jokes and says I'm happy with things from the 50s. He's right. I'd be a cheaper homeowner.
GardenerJoy - Credits for splitting what they pass as a normal meal for one ... and not seeking anything else for "good behaviour" How are all the trip plans moving along?
GosfordGirl - Ohhh, blood oranges. it's been awhile since I've had one that was truly good. Now I want one I will have to wait awhile here.
Woodland - Kudos for the lower number on the scale - a good reflection of choices you're making.
Maryann - Maybe channel the worry for your DS on his flight to positive thoughts to have those who sit near him be good travel companions. I sat next to a young boy on my last trip who was a bit of a nervous flyer and we just chatted throughout the flight while DH slept
OneByOne - I hope things are going as well as can be expected with your sister while you're checking out the various home options for your mother. Stay peaceful inside. Your insight often amazes me. You can see right into a situation where I'm just looking at all the periphery. I hope your sister values your opinions and thoughts and you don't second guess your choices.
Last edited by nationalparker; 07-12-2014 at 08:07 PM.
How nice it is to sit down with you all this evening.My sister is now back home and I spent the day not working. I told DH to stop me if I tried to work and he mentioned I was on a slippery slope this afternoon when I said I wanted to go to Home Depot to get some wood, but he allowed it and so I am set for the coming week with my goal to transfer some kind of image to my block to begin carving it in relief for printmaking. I have such a hankering to get at it already!
My organizing skills were put to the test this week as all the appointments I set up were executed one after the other by me and my sister with trips to see my mom and visits with her and two short excursions out. One went phenomenally and the other was, sadly, more typical, which made no sense to my sister but she accepted it. We had a harmonious, peaceful, fruitful, joyful and productive week and came to decide on a total of 4 ( we needed 3-5) long term care facilities my mom will be placed on the list for and we truly feel at peace with whichever one she is placed in. It was fabulous to find so many quality places. We also made a trip to my accountant so my sister could begin getting my mother's taxes in order. She loved my accountant and she has had her share of dealing with accountants in her life. So that was a good thing. I did catch DH's cold but pushed through it and today after we dropped my sister off at the airport at 6am, DH and I had breakfast at the 3 Coins - a local joint probably decorated in 1958, and then we came home and went back to bed, waking closer to noon. The day has been a lazy one. I am ready to get moving on all things Moi again.
Food was ok all week. I will weigh in tomorrow. We indulged but didn't over indulge and mostly we stuck to fresh things. Whatever my weight is, I am good with it. My membership in TOPS is now active so I will attend my first meeting on Monday or Tuesday, don't remember right now what day it is. Mostly it's accountability that I am looking for. I have a dentist appointment Monday and need to see the Dr for a prescription re-fill and I can ask him about my knee which continues to give me pain when it's bent and I try to get up. It's the tendon over top the kneecap I think. How the heck does that heal?
So, all is well. I am fine. I did my duty to my family and I can peacefully attend to my own needs again. Kudos Moi.
nationalparker Thanks for thinking of me today. I relate to procrastinating on the phonecall to your dad. I do the same with my mom. All I can say is you are doing it as well as you can. You are a loving caring daughter and sometimes we need a bit more time before we head back into "it". Facing how things are is hard. As with everything, we need to give ourselves a break with this. BTW I saw the supermoon this morning on our drive to the airport! It was glorious! I just went out to see it but it wasn't visible to me yet. I'll try again later.
gardenerjoy A la Bugs Bunny is a great way to eat carrots! I do that too from time to time. Thanks for the reminder. Kudos for eating half a portion of fast food. Wow!
BillBlueEyes Delayed Kudos for completing your fan installation project and also for putting your tools away. Excellent. Sorry about the shopping. I like mechanical devices myself. I can't tell you the heartfelt sickness I had the day my brother showed me the harddrive of a computer. Ho-hum. Dullsville. No gears. No gaskets. no sounds. No sputtering. Nothing. And I want a car I can fix with tools I can buy at Canadian Tire. Kind of in the spirit of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWHniL8MyMM&feature=kp
GosfordGirl I love it that you took the time to create a space for yourself and your meal. I hope it worked out well for you!
Woodland Great list of positive things coming from using Beck! Awesome.
maryann I know the anxiety of wondering if the foodplan you're heading for is "enough"--how I experience it anyway... as in enough for me foodwise, enough to hold me, enough to work for me, just enough. But, you know, it's not about that. Beck is inherently a flex-plan kind of thing. It's not this or that but choices. If your foodplan ain't right, you tweak it. And you tell us all about it. How fabulous is that? BTW so thrilled you are allowing your son to exercise his own ability to make choices for himself. Kudos for managing your own fears and keeping them to yourself while allowing him to grow in self-esteem by having his own adventure.
Lexxiss Soot explosion? I immediately pictured eyes rimmed with black, like from black and white films where chimney sweeps emerge from the chimneys all sooty. Was it like that?! Kudos for continuing to be mindful of your food choices no matter the situation and for faithfully planning ahead. You are a wonder to me.
Ceejay Yooohoooo! How was your Ottawa trip? How are things? I want to know.
Silverbirch Just a nod to you in your direction. Did you guys have a supermoon too way over there across the pond??
I am squeezing this in before I eat and close the office for a while. Food was on track today but not last night at all - ended up getting take away and it was just so unnecessary and excessive so I am not happy with myself. However that was reflected in exemplary planning and OPness today. I think watching all 3 of the "The men who made me fat" followed by the 3 "The men who made me thin" made me hungry. All those visions of super-sized meals and big boys and giant doughnuts does that to one. Anyway I have finished the series and it was informative and sad.
The attached picture made me think of "not about me".
BillBE - All that green is the perfect camouflage for a lurking cuke. Credit for putting away tools after the job is done - not sure why it is so much easier to get them in the first place. [Thanks for the info on the WM - my front loader lets you open the door after it has started! The one reason I got that one but it does not give me total control )
Gardenerjoy - after watching the series above I am not at all surprised that one fast food meal served 2 comfortably - but credit for not being lured (by their evil plan ) into eating it all yourself.
Nationalparker - Sorry you are finding it hard to engage with your Dad on the phone. If he is not that keen on it, the phone isn't quite the right medium to just "be with" someone in their situation. And it is hard to guage how they are so it accentuates that sense of helplessness I think. Hang in there
Onebyone - So glad you have found so many suitable places for your mum. And that the time with your sister went well. Hope you got lots of energy today to take off with your projects
Credits
- Checked in
- Ate on plan
- Measured my food
- Logged my food
- Ate mindfully most of the time
- Ate sitting down - 90%
- I stopped eating when satisfied - overate at lunch
- Used distraction and resistance techniques
- Weighed myself
- Made a food plan for tomorrow - have prepared food for a few days
- Made a schedule for tomorrow
Last edited by GosfordGirl; 07-13-2014 at 07:44 AM.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, included stops in a hardware store and a book store where I bought nothing. A few years ago, I'd have stopped in bakeries or food stores - whether to look or buy. The hardware store had a large rental section; I need to keep that in mind if I find that my stash of tools is becoming a storage problem. Perhaps I can frame tool rental as a library which is serving me well by saving shelves of book space.
Dinner on the patio was, again, delightful. Even DW admits that we have at least double the number of active birds compared to other years. This July has seen many pleasant evenings.
onebyone – Super Congrats for a successful visit from your sister including listing your mom at four places. You deserve to savor such success. [I am so with you on having a car that can be repaired "with tools I can buy at Canadian Tire." Someday I hope to shop at a Canadian Tire since it's so dear to my Canadian friends. To own and spend Canadian Tire Dollars is on my Bucket List.]
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yay for a ha-normal lunch.
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Love the picture, "Not my circus, not my monkeys." Kudos for "exemplary planning and OPness today" - neat when it goes right.
nationalparker – Sending supportive thoughts for all the emotions that go with caring for your dad. Hope you can find a way to be kind to yourself for the difficulties that it causes. I'm impressed that you can spot pickpockets in Italy. [I so want a key for our new car that DW drives instead of this 'fob' that I don't normally carry. We have a friend who had to walk back to the doctor's office where he'd dropped off his wife when he found out at Starbucks that it was her key that the car had accepted.]
Readers -
Quote:
day 19Stop Fooling Yourself
How to Stop Fooling Yourself
These are usually fooling-yourself thoughts. You need to prepare yourself in advance for these kinds of thoughts. create an It's Not Okay Response Card similar to the one below and read it daily, perhaps whenever you read your Advantages Response Card. Also, pull it out whenever you think you're at risk of not following your plan.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 163.
I went MIA, decided to jump in the car super early Friday morning and spend several days w/DH picking raspberries. We had a great time and he was really glad to see me. The boiler project has been moving along just fine without me, too. I drove back this morning and head to work soon. I love this time of year when I can be spontaneous not having to worry about weather. Food was good, with a few indulgences....mostly OP. It was great to get back to the pool for a day, too.
BBE, yay for yet another day which included a visit to your gym! I'm getting rid of a really nice weed eater.....too bad you don't have that big garage yet (or that you lived closer)
nationalparker, thinking of you as you walk your walk. You may already be doing this but a mailed card every day could be nice, too, especially if your dad doesn't really like the telephone.
onebyone, yay for a successful mission with your sis and double yay for being excited to get back to your routine!
Cheryl(GosfordGirl), kudos for getting right back OP and I love the pic!
gardenerjoy, yay for a satisfying lunch which was half of normal!
My spontaneous exercise will be to get my tote and groceries out of the car....a small haul but my work shoes are inside the tote. I brought organic watermelon with me which will provide a cool snack when I get home. Also scored 6 $1 perennials atLowes...it's the time of year when they start getting rid of stuff. I've been patiently waiting.
Time for smoothie! Take care everyone!
PS-I installed a new sink in my bathroom while I was over. A benefit directly related to my weightloss as I crawled into the cabinet for the install. Credit. Found my next project-one toilet hasn't been working-a spent gasket in a complicated pressurized tank. Looking for parts (there are none) I learned that BOTH toilets are infamousKohlerExplodingToilets and they will be replaced no charge. It sounds like it would be good to get done sooner VS later and fortunately I now know how to install a toilet, too. Yay for personal empowerment, yet another benefit of losing weight. LOL
Yesterday was a quiet day, our hottest day yet. They are promising us unseasonably cool temperatures next week, so it was hard to get motivated to do anything but get the mail in the heat. I'm saving up energy and time for lots of yard work next week. Today will be my first tomato harvest of the season. I probably should get out there this morning since we may get storms this afternoon as we make the transition from hot to cool.
WI: NC in kg, Exercise: +20 550/1400 minutes for July, Food: 90% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
nationalparker: Calling your dad when you know he doesn't like talking on the phone is going to be difficult. You can't win either way. Would it help to choose a time and be consistent? If daily feels right to you, then keep it very short. OTOH, how about doing something else? Could you send email or funny cards through the post?
I'm still working on the trip plans. We're inside the 2-month window, now, so I'm starting to feel a little pressure about some stuff!
onebyone: so glad the visit with your sister went well. My aunts all went to TOPS -- you're giving me memories!
Have had a strange weekend. Managed to stay close to on track with calories, but the food choices were all over the place. Planned meals went awry, but were replaced with choices that were light enough to claim OP. DH even surprised me with a trip to watch the sun set over a lake nearby, and a brief stop at McD for a vanilla cone to cap off the evening. Need my plan for tomorrow's meals. Then he goes to nights and I won't see him again for nearly two weeks as when he comes off nights, he'll be dropping me at the airport to go home to visity my father. He took a nasty fall today, and I'm worrying about him. He's home, and "ok" but very sore.
I like the ideas you gave to send dad cards, even postals would be a good option, so started looking for postcard books. I will still call to check in and always say that I'll ring him back in a couple of days, and he does seem fine with it. My brother said he seemed peppier after I would ring, so that's nice.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Standard Sunday walk, CREDIT moi, to begin a laid back day. I did nothing serious the whole day - just savored the mild summer air. I did make progress on a new novel by Sue Miller, The World Below - one more time letting a yard sale bargain dictate my reading choices. I loved her first novel, The Good Mother, that I read when she was unknown because a buddy had taken a writing class with her. She's a remarkable writer.
Eating remains only OK. Hoping to get my act together as I move away from my vent project that messed up my brain with the constant stream of unexpected obstacles. I'm looking forward to some minor to-do items that don't have as much opportunity for obstacles.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Our first cherry tomatoes are still a few days from ripe - I'm jealous that you're already picking.
Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yay for picking raspberries for the right level of taking life seriously. Super Kudos for installing a bathroom sink as a simple task.
nationalparker – Sunsets are good for the soul. Hope your dad recovers from his fall - he doesn't need more difficulties.
Readers -
Quote:
day 19Stop Fooling Yourself
How to Stop Fooling Yourself
It's Not Okay
It's not okay to eat unplanned food of any kind. I'm just
trying to fool myself. Every single time I eat something
I'm not supposed to, I strengthen my giving-in muscle
and weaken my resistance muscle. I might feel good for
the few seconds I'm eating, but I'll feel bad afterwards. If
I want to lose excess weight and keep it off, I absolutely
must stop fooling myself.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 163.
Held off on tears this morning until I saw DS lift into the air. Before that we clowned together, ate breakfast and enjoyed the adventure. Credit. Also credit for SIL calling an hour later with DS on the line. Success. This has been a big summer of letting go. I have time and again been reminded that my life, aside from active mothering, must be nurtured. DH and I will reintroduce ourselves over planned dinner and yoga class.
Credit for first day on set meal plan and not using my tears as an excuse to fall off the plan.
Credit also for a little clothes shopping at my favorite outlet - CABI. Picked up a couple of pieces that I've always dreamed of wearing - fashionable and flattering. They are a good incentive to keep to my goal to lose five pounds. Remaining fit is an active choice. Vigilance is the key.
GosfordGirl: Loved "These are not my monkeys." BBE: Favorite passsage: I have to stop fooling myself. Picked up The Eyre Affair. let's see how I do with science fiction. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy did not hold my attention.
Home Sweet Home. Glad to be back after a whirlwind weekend. We enjoyed the conference...but I did not do so well with eating. I'm hoping the # on the scale is NOT real...but going forward regardless. Today I'm trying raw foods as a sort of detox from eating away from home for 4 days. I have a headache today, but will catch up on personals tomorrow. Wishing you all an awesome week.
Beck FB: Feeling deprived is a state of mind. You can limit yourself to one cookie and think, “This is so unfair, I wish I could eat more, this really stinks,” OR you could limit yourself to one cookie and think, “It’s not all-or-nothing. I can still have one cookie and lose weight. Good for me for stopping here, this will really help me reach my goals.”
-started foodplan today/recording my food
-weighed in today
-posted here
-cooking from scratch
-planning my food
I think I've come to a decision about the gym.I think I'm going to quit it for now. In its place I'll go swimming or do water aerobics. I love the water. I'm going to find a pool near my studio so I can work it into my day.
Today I found out I didn't get accepted into the big gallery show. I'm ok with that. I feel as though I can re-focus as if I had been accepted into the show the rest of my year would be clouded by meeting the needs of the show. This way, it'll be about fulfilling the plans I made earlier this year which I have yet to begin. It's important that I begin.
And tomorrow is the anniversary of my brother's death, though I didn't find out about it until the day after. No one knew. All year long I have thought of him and what he would think about things. There hasn't been a day I haven't thought of him. Tomorrow I am going to start an artwork that has to do with him. I think that's the best way to spend the day.
OK so heading to bed now. I still have a horrible cough from the cold I got from DH earlier this week.
Have a good evening.
Have done well eating today - not sure why. Not a great day. Ate half of my lunch portion and then a small serving for dinner ... wanted dessert for some oddball reason. REALLY wanted it. Went to the market and ended up with a loaf of raisin bread, of which I had one slice toasted with hot tea. That's a once-every-few-years treat (the loaf in the house). Only 12 slices in the package ... we can handle this temptation. I'm giving myself credit for that choice, walking by donuts, ice cream, the cake slices, pie slices, everything packaged singly at the bakery counter.
OneByOne - you'll be in my thoughts tomorrow, sending peaceful thoughts your way as you honor your brother's memory with your new artwork. I like that idea. Look forward to hearing what you create.
AZTricia - Welcome back and kudos for getting right back on track after a challenging eating weekend!
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Did some mentally difficult stuff on my to-do list including calling my old plumber to come do some work that I think I ought to be able to do myself. He's expensive but thorough and fast. He knows how far to cut back on old piping to put in new stuff for far less work. I've a tendency to save every inch of installed pipe since my copper pipe soldering skills are only good-enough. CREDIT moi for doing what was required. Walk included the library to return four books including one that I'd already renewed once but finally realized that I had read all that I wanted and was never going to finish. I still fight the notion that I'm morally obligated to read every word of any book I've opened.
Eating was only OKish. Still working on that. I need to hike the Appalachian Trail where any snack comes from my backpack.
onebyone – Thinking of you today on the anniversary of your brother's death. Kudos for seeing past the big gallery show into your next year of work.
maryann - Bon Voyage on a week of empty-nesting with Kudos for keeping a stiff upper lip while letting your DS fly away. [Thanks for "I have to stop fooling myself." Don't tell anyone that I'm the only human in this galaxy who hasn't read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - maybe now that I've accepted science fiction into my life.]
nationalparker – Monster Kudos for having 11 slices of raisin bread in the house with "we can handle this temptation."
Tricia (AZtricia) - Yay for a successful conference and, presumably, for arriving home with as many DS's as you left with.
Readers -
Quote:
day 19Stop Fooling Yourself
measuring up If your diet calls for you to measure the quantify of food you're supposed to eat, don't fool yourself into thinking you can accurately estimate it instead. Dieters who don't measure or weight their food are notorious for underestimating their portions. It might not matter much right now if you eat a little extra at every meal because you didn't measure, but at some point it will. you need to squarely face your food decisions. If you're going to eat more food than your diet program calls for, do so because you've deliberately planned to, not because you've falsely reassured yourself, It's okay if I don't really know how much I'm eating
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 163.
Late home but at least dinner was planned and is out of the freezer ready to be cooked - crazy time of year made worse because I am having Friday and Monday off to have a winter weekend at the seashore. It will be cold and it will be windy but it will be a treat to have a break from my life and refresh and then to pick up my girls on Monday and come back to normal routine next week in the last week build up to the Spring semester.
Food wise today was not good. I felt really anxious all day - the sort that keeps you sighing because you can't get air, the sort that feels totally organic like someone injected you with caffeine. That sort of anxiety wanted to be fed or taken home - that wasn't an option so I fed it with chocolate cake that I found in a meeting room after they left - ouch. Also had allergies today - couldn't breathe through my nose and had asthma so didn't go to gym (which the anxiety could have done with). Anyway I am home and hopefully will settle. (I am submitting this as I go because I am doing it in the window and couldn't bear having to redo it).
I have in fact read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and find it amazing and funny and charming. I am not sure how dated it might seem now but it made me laugh out loud and wonder at the ingenuity of Douglas Adams [good grief - maybe I should move to a different discussion board if I like science fiction AND Douglas Adams! You have to read So long and thanks for all the fish]. The opening scenes are ridiculous - that is probably the best word for the whole thing (this from a girl who could not to save my life read the Hobbit when everyone else was).
Thinking of you for tomorrow Onebyone on the anniversary of your brother's death. I love the idea that "Tomorrow I am going to start an artwork that has to do with him". Kudos for making a decision about what activity will work well for you
that's it coaches - time for dinner etc
Last edited by GosfordGirl; 07-15-2014 at 05:43 AM.
How are all the trip plans moving along? 
in response
Yooohoooo! How was your Ottawa trip? How are things? I want to know.
nod to you in your direction. Did you guys have a supermoon too way over there across the pond??
)
) into eating it all yourself.
Sunday
