Tuesday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – A friend put together an hour's worth of pictures from the Hubble telescope and other pictures from deep space. I'm reminded that in some future life I'm going to be an astronomer. He showed a computer simulation of two galaxies colliding, stopping it at the specific points that matched images from his photos of galaxy pairs in that stage of interaction. The mind boggles. BIG of the universe is hard to comprehend.

Walking as normal, CREDIT moi. Tried to remember that brisk mattered. There's no snow or ice on any sidewalk - enough of a tease to think that we'll see no more snow this year. Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, including only evening snack.


onebyone – LOL at "3 more sleeps til Spring" - just need the weather to get the memo. Ouch for 'helpful' folks who feel free to offer opinions on our private decisions. Congrats for your loooong relationship - may it continue for another 22 years and 22 years after that, and then again. Let the new sugar-free streak begin.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Best idea ever - Green cabbage salad for St. Patrick's Day. Super Kudos for your continued exercise streak.

CeeJay - Yay for "went out and got some fresh air and walked around" without mentioning temperature. Spring is even coming to Canada.

maryann - Yep, Kudos for having a plan forward. I'm inspired how you are able to see that your life is blessed while still acknowledging your feelings.

ladym0208 – Such a good idea to allow all your success in Africa to boost your own awareness of your self-esteem. Beck would do well to add a chapter to her book on Cognitive Therapy strategies for doing this.

nationalparker – LOL at the importance of bubble bath - Yep, priorities matter. Kudos for sticking to your eating plan.

Tricia (AZtricia) - 3 Kudos for "walked an extra 3 miles today." The scale will notice what you're doing - in its own good time.

flnu - Thirty-seven Kudos for rocking that 5K. LOL at weekend eating, "a free for all by design." That kind of situation triggers my more-more-more mentality.

6crowsgold - Kudos for seeing that you're in for a wild ride at work and heading forward with (field tested) tools and a plan. By-the-by, I haven't figured out your Avatar yet. Is that a parrot looking at me askance?

Readers -

Hi Coaches!

It's been a rough week for me and I've tried to keep my sanity with food, despite more than a few unplanned events. I've had a schedule change at work, too, which I need to accomodate. My mom made a reservation for brunch on Sunday, as a belated birthday event. I really thought it through and was going to politely suggest another time then came the schedule change indicating I'll be working Sunday's from here on out. I did very well at brunch keeping portions moderate and choices good. Credit. Last night was another story. I had planned dinner, and used my anticipation of healthy dinner to resist yet another birthday cake at work....then I got home and DD invited us to dinner in Denver, which there was no point in turning down since her car was in the shop and I'd have to take her back down anyway. Dinner ended up being too late and I was too tired. I didn't necessarily over eat just ate too late with a dinner which came in stages. Credit for turning down the soup AND seconds AND for making the decision I won't repeat the stay out late when I have to be to work at 530am. I also made the decision not to travel over the hill late Thursday afternoon (after DD's sonogram). I need to remember to take care of me.

Anyway, rambling, as I'm tired today, but green smoothie is ready which should help pep up my day and dinner is planned....last night's choice.

Take care everyone. I am working hard to get back to my comfort zone AKA "routine".

nice surprise, unexpected.
 

Coaches

*credit* weighed this morning and saw 262.6. Good. It's too bad these lower numbers don't come on official weigh-in day (Mondays). Oh well. Was thinking yesterday how it is taking forever to get out of these 260's. These are the pounds that came back on after my brother died last year. A solid 20. I am unwilling to carry this weight anymore. *credit for tracking and planning and posting and eating 1/2 size portions.

I need to visit my mother this morning. I got a phone message from my sister that she is depressed. And that I should visit. It seems everyone has a plan for my life. I need to start scheduling visits to more long term care facilities as well. Somewhere in there is my own life that needs tending. More deadlines for art submissions coming up. In fact I will miss one this Friday. I'm ok with it as it a co$tly one to enter plus my prints have to be in another city by 5pm Friday, all matted, which is the real snag. I can't print/matte/send in 2 days. Oh well.

Guess that's it. I need some breakfast. I am happy to be so close to the 250's again though. I tell you, I was wondering if it would ever happen. Thrilled my new fitbit foodplan is working.

Have a great day.

I overate at dinner a bit with about an extra half cup of the girls’ mac and cheese. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical this morning, and I’ll try to do some abs tonight. Thank you all for your support.

Maryann: Black and white thinking error, no?

Joy: Salting cabbage is also critical to not having a runny mess three hours after you make coleslaw. Your recipe sounds delicious – thanks for posting.

6crowsgold: Is there a way to start being not miserable immediately?

Nationalparker: Sorry you missed your bubble bath. I have loads of bubble bath but it is all, like, strawberry flavored kid stuff. Shudder.

Ceejay: What motivation tape? I love listening to motivation tapes. I assume you actually some kind of non-obsolete technology. (I once saw an “age test” that showed a pencil and a cassette tape and then asked, “How are these two things related?” If you don’t know, then I am guessing you are under 35.)

Tricia: Why is walking three extra miles “giving in?” Do you exercise binge? Off to google T-Tapp now.

Onebyone: That is some hard-core food pushing. I think you did well all things considered. Going to re-start your streak?

Ladym0208: That seems like a good place to dig in – good luck. And good on you for doing it.

BBE: Kudos for walking and keeping it brisk.

Lexxiss: Sounds like you managed those challenges beautifully.

I've been experimenting with getting to bed earlier to improve my sleep. What has helped is setting an alarm on my phone to tell me it's time to go to bed. I'm getting to bed earlier and more relaxed and, therefore, sleeping better. Up until a few months ago, I believed that staying up late would make me tired and, therefore, I'd sleep better. But that's never worked that well for me. I go to bed too late, still have trouble sleeping, and get far too little sleep. Going to bed early means that even if I have trouble sleeping, I get more sleep. But, even better, it turns out that I have less trouble sleeping when I get to bed earlier.

DH's mother had a fall yesterday with a trip to the ER, stitches on her face, and a black eye. But she's in Florida for the month so precious little that we can do from here. Thank goodness for the kindness of people in her condo complex.

WI: NA kg, Exercise: +50 890/1500 minutes for March, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: no

nationalparker: stress relief and better sleep have been primary motivators for my exercise. I also like that always feel fit enough to do what I want. If a ticket to Paris or London fell in my lap tomorrow, I could walk all day in a city. If an opportunity arose to hike in a National Park, I could do that, too -- not with a heavy pack, mind you, but that's no longer on my list of fantasy vacations.

ladym0208: I've had some luck in linking my self-esteem more with being OP and doing my exercise (the actions) and less with size and weight (the numbers). It sounds like you're making that step, too. Of course, the next step is some loving kindness for the days when the actions don't match up to my goals for myself. I have built up some success with that, too -- it helps me get back on track more quickly than I used to. And, yes, you'll always have Africa. That's going to be quite an accomplishment to look back on and say "I did that! Imagine what else I can do!"

onebyone: wonderful to read all your thoughts and understandings. I think if we had to do it again, DH and I would more seriously consider a long-term relationship without marriage, especially since we never had children. I think the wedding mostly sprang from a lack of confidence on my part -- I admire women who don't need that symbol. The years together are much more symbolic of the relationship than anything else. I just realized that DH and I met 25 years ago this month -- thanks, I would never have computed that had we not had this conversation.

Hellos all 'round.

Today is a white knuckle day, but I know that hunger comes in little waves and is not a steady-state (or life threatening) thing. Really don't want to un-do the hard work so far, so trying to hang in there.

BBE: My avatar is a curious crow--they love shiny things (like camera lenses)!

flnu: Thanks. Just knowing I have been "doing something about it" for the past two weeks helps me feel tremendously better already!

Best to all!

Happy Tuesday coaches!

Diet power has dropped my calories to 1800 since I have not lost anything AGIAN this week. That is the lowest it has been since I reset the program and goals. I will stick too it, but am frustrated that my scale is not reflecting the diligence I feel I've put into health activities. Hungry, but OP for food and exercise. Took Teddy to the park after breakfast and walked around the block after lunch, plan to go at least one more time. Making two rotisserie chickens for the week and part will be today's dinner. I am very ready for the consistent downward trend I had last month to re-appear!!!

onebyone Sorry for your drat day yesterday, but kudos for posting, tracking, and planning to restart! Awesome your fitbit is helping. Hope you find a balance between everyone's demands on your time and your own needs.

ladym0208 Whoohoo for such a good day!

BillBlueEyes I love the Hubble pictures! Hurray for no snow/ice which makes it easier to have the brisk in the walk rather than only the wind. My scale is ignoring all my wishes, hope yours is being more cooperative!

Lexxiss/Debbie Kudos for working to get back to routine. Awesome for your great resistance muscle turning down seconds.

flnu Kudos for elliptical work! Walking extra is "giving in" because I don't want to set myself up to need extra exercise to maintain a healthy weight. I don't enjoy exercise and do not want to be someone who has to spend hours every day in a gym. I'd rather lower my calories and keep a moderate level of exercise (walk dog + dvd). Long term it is just that my time is more valuable to me. But yesterday, I was at the YMCA anyway for the boys swim team...so I walked the treadmill instead of running errands.

gardenerjoy Hurray for your experiment leading to better sleep.

6crowsgold Hang in there!!! :dust:

Busy day at work - is it really only Tuesday? Brought home plenty to do and now our work system is down. I started my dinner out with a crust of toasted baguette. Less than a serving, and it was something I definitely wanted. In a way, I'm happy I started with it - now I won't be eating everything instead of that. :)

Warming up a bit today - so excited to see the sunshine. They're calling snow but no accumulation later in the week. ENOUGH of this.

DH asked me about all my clothes that are in the closets that I don't wear. I'd given myself until September to get into them. Whatever I don't fit into, goes out. FLAT OUT - goes out. I love some of these clothes and want to wear them because I like them, not because it's a mission to "get back into them." ... What I did years ago when I lost weight the first time was write every single thing in a line on a tablet ...and then write the date that I fit into it. That popped in as a good idea for me this 'go round'. He has a good deal of shirts that he's said would fit better with him 20 pounds down, so hopefully we're on our way there.

ladym0208 - I am completely with you on the self-esteem issue. I allot the scale w-a-y too much power over my mind. Then I get all hoity about it and say I'm not weighing for a month or so ... then I give up after a few days of not-smart eating, and then see the result (even if it's just sodium bloat) and call myself an idiot. Argh. I think when the mental aspect is less abusive, I'll find more success.

OneByOne - Kudos to you for your long committed relationship! My brother and SIL have been together maybe 24 years now - not married and no one is in their business. It works. I enjoy your evocative posts.

Plan to check in later with credits to keep me on track!

Hello everyone,

So happy to report 4 days completely on plan now. Felt like that was never going to happen. I am feeling strong and committed to one day at a time. It is so good to feel in control of my eating.

Credit today for eating on plan, reading advantage and response cards, posting to my coaches, and planning tomorrow's food and packing up lunch. Used "hunger is not an emergency" tonight when I was late getting home for dinner. Instead I stole an apple from a coworker's desk, grabbed a bottle of water and started driving. I have to remember to take one for her tomorrow. Also reminded myself that being tired is no reason for not making a lunch.

flnu- the tape is actually a free app and it is a talk called Simply the Best by Grant Boddington. It is helping keep me focused on trying to treat myself well and staying positive.

:grouphug:

Wednesday night
 

Hi coaches

The last few days have been way off track - they start on track and I have a plan and I am sticking to that plan and then at night it goes out the window. 2 nights ago I made fries after I posted, last night I made "toast" (gluten free facsimile) (and didn't post because home late), and then today as I was leaving work I grabbed a handful of cake that I saw sitting in the staff room - definitely not gluten free and not even very nice. None of this really puts me over on calories but it is not on plan and I am not resisting. There is a theme here - carbohydrates. Since changing my diet plan I have introduced more carbs and it seems to be triggering cravings - and I am not dealing with them because I am busy and unfocussed and not really trying to. So I need to get back on track, and I need to want to do this. My weight has been bobbing about at 193 so essentially I am maintaining - whether I go off track or stay on it so I am letting that discourage me. Not sure what the plan is except to do the Beck program - I need to read the Advantage cards and Response cards to cut off the craving behaviours. I need to post here even if it is a couple of lines to maintain accountability.

Credits today:
- Posted here and got real about where I am
- Ate to plan and have a plan (but ate cake!)
- Am cooking a good dinner - home late so trying to keep it simple and do it
- Have listened to the motivational track twice (thanks for posting the name CeeJay)
- Have read all postings

I am enjoying the motivational track - it is making me focus on what is important and I hope it helps me create a more useful identity. I need to work on building an identity that is consistent with the goals in Beck.

I will now go and have dinner and try to get my life back in order

(PS Monster Monday refers to MY personal experience of Mondays - they are not good at the moment)

Thanks for listening

Wednesday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walked, CREDIT moi, wearing all the layers since the impending Spring doesn't seem to affect the weather. Found DW outside tending to our small yard as if winter were ending. She did acknowledge that the ground was still frozen.

Eating on plan, CREDIT moi, included swordfish for dinner. WHAT? Thought that was permanently off our menu. Nope, Whole Foods sold some as 'sustainable.' So we ate away, with the only issue that DW reminded me that I was consuming enough mercury to become my own thermometer. Oh Well.


onebyone – Yay that your "new fitbit foodplan is working." Best wishes for continuing to chase down the long term care for your mother.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Sounds awful to hear that your MIL fell and you're too far away to help. Good luck in your experiments in getting sound sleep.

CeeJay - Yay for "hunger is not an emergency" coming to the rescue. Kudos for four days completely on plan. Thanks for reminding me of a favorite line by Yevtushenko in his poem Stolen Apples:Debbie (Lexxiss) – Yep, Kudos for finding sane eating when all the expected's keep changing. Hope your new schedule works out for you.

nationalparker – Neat decision to eat something you really wanted so "now I won't be eating everything instead of that."

Tricia (AZtricia) - "I will stick to it" is a stellar response to disappointment in slow response. LOL at two rotisserie chickens - gotta remember that you're required to put a lot of food on the table.

flnu - Ouch for finding yourself in your kids' food. Mac and cheese is known as a problem food on this forum.

6crowsgold - LOL at your "curious crow" - is there a story with that? Textbook good idea here, "I need to read the Advantage cards and Response cards to cut off the craving behaviours."

Readers -

Good Morning!

Credits:

I did manage to get through the day OP yesterday. Kept going over my #1 reason for doing this and it seemed to help hold the line.

Still using my "Calorie Capture Device" to track intake.

Spent my low calorie evening writing letters to pen pals to distract myself from snagging snackies all night.

Wishing you all a great day!

I finally weighed in. Yikes! I'm almost 8 pounds above the top of my maintenance range. And I really meant to lower the bottom of my maintenance range this year -- from here, that goal is almost 18 pounds down. I seem to be failing at maintenance, so the good news is that I get to go into weight loss mode for a few months. I know how to do that!

WI: +1.75 kg, Exercise: +50 940/1500 minutes for March, Food: 90%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

Feel as if I finally got the "reward" for being on track of seeing a new low on the scale this "go-around" with 167.4 ... I typically drop, then go up for a bit and then go back down, so I'll stick with it and see where it takes me by the weekend. But it was a sense of YAY ... and i found myself looking for something nicer to wear to work. Because I'm not worthy of it otherwise? Hm. Want to investigate that mentally tonight.

Kept wandering into the kitchen pantry last night, even emerging with a treat, only to place it back and say NO Choice. I'd just gotten off the phone with my mom and knew it was a comfort measure, not hunger.

Will check in tonight to stay on plan. DH is working one fewer day on his shift as it's slow and they're cutting back, so that means tonight is my last dinner alone. I seem to do decent now - rather than a free-for-all - and will need to be conscious of what I'm eating with a meal with more food options - even the veggies can add up :)

Just a quick check in to say "HURRAY"...finally down one more pound. After extra exercise and a couple low calorie days it is nice to see. I'm thinking that maybe I was right when I reset my levels in diet power. I should eat between 1500-1800 cal/day ... so when I followed the program recommendations and crept up to 1800-2000 it really slowed the loss. Back to aiming for under 1800 today, with 1500 or less being ++